What nobody tells you about losing weight
Replies
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For me it’s less about not belonging (that’s there, but not much). It’s more - you need a dress for whatever reason - how do you do that when there are 100 stores you could find it in? Or jeans - where do you even start?RelCanonical wrote: »
Haha, I live in a small town, and half the stores either skew too young or too old for me (town is mostly families rather than 30-something singles like me), so I don't have that problem so much. I'm also pretty picky about what I like (I have a typical "uniform" of a-line dress, elastic waist belt, black tights, heels, and sweater if it's cold), so my bigger problem might be not enough options.
I do admit I have a big problem with picking out jeans too. There are so many weird styles and I don't know what they actually mean. I think it's part of the reason why I decided start wearing dresses more.5 -
RelCanonical wrote: »
For me it’s less about not belonging (that’s there, but not much). It’s more - you need a dress for whatever reason - how do you do that when there are 100 stores you could find it in? Or jeans - where do you even start?RelCanonical wrote: »
Haha, I live in a small town, and half the stores either skew too young or too old for me (town is mostly families rather than 30-something singles like me), so I don't have that problem so much. I'm also pretty picky about what I like (I have a typical "uniform" of a-line dress, elastic waist belt, black tights, heels, and sweater if it's cold), so my bigger problem might be not enough options.
I do admit I have a big problem with picking out jeans too. There are so many weird styles and I don't know what they actually mean. I think it's part of the reason why I decided start wearing dresses more.
I don't go shopping by myself because of the whole "not belonging" feeling and it is absolutely daunting to know where to go. Honestly, my husband is the one that pushes me outside my comfort zone and will go with me, even if he sits in a chair while I browse, so I won't feel so awkward. I have a friend I can go with sometimes (she lives far away), but this year I'm trying to push myself to do things so I can alleviate some of this anxiety.
I find that as I fit into more things, I can get a little more comfortable going into unknown stores. But,7 times out of 10, I have to activate the BFF network to be coached into doing things on my own. At least it's not 9 times out of 10 like it used to be! Progress!
But once I DO find things I like, I find that I enjoy picking them out. When I know a store will have what I can wear, and I get comfortable, I enjoy going there. It's nice to enjoy clothing and have fun with it!9 -
lawsonsaysread wrote: »At 200 lbs down, I find the following surprising-
-How much I HATE being told I am inspiring or having the talk about "How did you loose all the weight?" Those conversations just make me want to go binge on Reece's Peanut Butter Eggs. When strangers comment on my fitness level, I feel uplifted. When people I know (even family) comment on weight loss, I feel judged. When a mere acquaintance tells me thy are "proud" of me, I want to get violent. It is kind of funny because I do not care about other people's judgments except in this area. I do not care what anyone (other than my wife and daughter) thinks about how I dress, my old truck, my taste in literature, my love of classical music, my nerdy side, my redneck side, my political perspectives, my ignorance of pop culture, my income, etc. But hearing what someone (and everyone seems to think they need to comment) thinks/feels about my weight loss makes me feel like crap. This is a problem in me, not other people, but, oh my, it has surprised me how intense this is.
Congratulations on your successful weight loss!
And old trucks are the best!
I hear what you are saying about being uncomfortable addressing weight-loss comments but I think your angst is may be a bit short-sighted.
I believe we will be experiencing much more openess in society talking about weight loss and gain and everything surrounding that issue.
30 years ago, you never mentioned someones fat in front of them. If you had to describe people, they were hefty, husky, big boned. It was almost a taboo subject seen as very negative almost as bad as a drug habit, etc.
We as a WORLD society have become obese.
Yes, there are places and people that still deal with chronic hungar but society as a whole has been doing a great job of ‘eating away’ at the problem of people dying of starvation.
In fact, mankind has developed the ability (in creating a corn ‘food-product industry’ ) to feed the world now!
It’s a matter of getting the food to those last hungry places.
That being said- The World is now dealing with an obesity problem.
IMO, The current social conversation needs to address it at a high level and even more important the next generation needs to be given the tools in school to learn about choosing the right diet for a healthy life in both the classroom and lunch table.
I was fat at the start of my journey. I might as well admit it to myself because everyone else knew it.
I remember even shocking a few people saying it out loud, as in -
Since I am fat....
‘I am going to lose weight, workout, start watching my diet, research the current related medical information, etc.
Others around me are also fat... not putting them down, just making an accurate judgement.
However, they are not mentally at that place of starting this journey yet (even if they need to be for their own health and lifes sake)
The conversation of us discussing my weight-loss because I was fat is safe because as I share my journey maybe they think they can start theirs. I am still fatter than I need to be, at least to be as fit and healthy as I want.
When family and friends comment or say they are proud of me it shows me they are emotionally invested in my well being enough to care to comment. They are thinking it anyway and I would rather know than not know.
Of course, there are also those insincere people, who say it without really meaning it. Maybe your hackles were raised by that aspect?
At any rate, I believe society as a whole will be talking more and more about fat and weight loss as a higher and higher percentage of our population struggles being seriously overweight and obese. We even have levels of obesity now because what used to be the highest and rarest level of fat is now a common living space for so many people.
Just know that in some cases, whether you like or or not, your example makes others look at themselves and some are seriously, maybe even desperately searching for a bridge to start that journey.
Maybe develop a few truthful comebacks to the common comments that annoy you that could be helpful to someone else.
Those comments may be annoying simply because you don’t know how to respond because you have never had to before.
Maybe interpret the words a bit different.
Proud= impressed
Losing weight = fitness level
You can never go wrong by just graciously saying thank you.
Yassssss! what HE said!3 -
12Sarah2015 wrote: »With only 5 pounds left to a BMi of 23.0, my stomach is still too big..... Ahhh.
Do those crunches girl!!.....or maybe more cardio?3 -
It feels uncomfortable when people don’t say anything about my weight loss.
And it feels uncomfortable when people comment on my weight loss.
Which tells me it’s just about my own insecurities. Same as when I was overweight.
i think it may take time for one to become comfortable in their new body. you know...to get used to it?7 -
SalinitySally wrote: »This has been mentioned already, but I didn’t realize people would think they should tell me I had lost “enough.”
When you’re finally in a size 12 and you hear that, you know you’re doing something right AND you also learn a lot about other people’s character, agenda and insecurities.
(My response, the last time it happened, was to act alarmed and ask if she’d let my doctor know he needed to reconsider his opinion that I still needed to lose twenty pounds to reach a healthy weight. Then I urged her to hurry to the nearest clothing store and demand that all items smaller than a twelve be removed for the safety of their customers, who should avoid getting any smaller. 🙄😏😜 To my great disappointment, not really, she doesn’t speak to me anymore. Maybe I was too aggressive, but she needs to think twice before saying something so silly to another mere acquaintance.)
lol i guess you told her! No seriously, sometimes people are clueless. They are not in our body. There is no ONE right size that fits everyone. i want to get down to a size 130. I can imagine now going home to some of the people I've grown up with and them being judgemental as I have experienced this before with them. They would say as ive already been told that I need to stop losing weight. And Im still at 187!!! . You think they might be afraid of what I might look like and that it might intimidate them? I just dont know how to read people. I just know that I want to be comfortable in my own body and look good AND be healthy. And I want to be confident in what I have accomplished.
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dhiammarath wrote: »
This. Plus, I enjoy shopping for clothes. Which is something I never thought I'd enjoy doing!
I’m starting back, and shopping for clothes is something that genuinely both motivates me and fills me with anxiety. I know it sounds ridiculous, but my current wardrobe is from like, 3-4 stores and has been for years. I look at all the stores *I will* be able to choose from and I get anxious - I don’t know how to deal with that much choice. But at the same time, I’m so excited to have a wardrobe I actually love, instead of is good enough.
This process can reveal the weirdest anxieties.
yeah sweetheart, its good that you recognize this before you get to your goal weight. Figure out how to handle this because you dont want to finally go shopping and then uncontrollably buy everything that fits. You might regret spending that much money especially if you didn't intend to. Make plan of what you need AND want. But be in control. You want to enjoy your shopping experience as what you try on will fit and make you look fabulous.8 -
-your boyfriend says in that worried tone "how much more weight are you going to lose?"
Is he:
(1) concerned you're too skinny?
(2) afraid your breasts / bottom will completely disappear?
(3) afraid you'll put his diet and exercise routine under the microscope?
(4) worried you're so fit now you might run off into the sunset with a faster fitter kind of guy?
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That 4 beers is enough to get there, instead of 8....but you do save money!15
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RelCanonical wrote: »Food still has the ability to give me horrible gas even when I'm not over my calorie goal. It's not just eating too much that can cause stomach issues, and I realized that quite clearly this weekend. One must work up to eating decent amounts of kimchi if one hasn't had it before - even though it is delicious and quite easy to eat half a jar.
I have discovered the usefulness of Beano (well, store brand digestive enzymes compared to Beano).
Beano before, there will be no gas
Beano before, silence after
My husband has to hear me say this every time we have dinner.... 14 -
EVERYONE will have an opinion about your weight loss... Especially those Who met you at your heaviest..9
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ExistingFish wrote: »RelCanonical wrote: »Food still has the ability to give me horrible gas even when I'm not over my calorie goal. It's not just eating too much that can cause stomach issues, and I realized that quite clearly this weekend. One must work up to eating decent amounts of kimchi if one hasn't had it before - even though it is delicious and quite easy to eat half a jar.
I have discovered the usefulness of Beano (well, store brand digestive enzymes compared to Beano).
Beano before, there will be no gas
Beano before, silence after
My husband has to hear me say this every time we have dinner....
I'm gonna have to try it! Pepto Bismol hasn't been cutting it lately, but I've been sticking to it because I'm a weirdo that likes the taste of it. I can't have the chew-able tablets in the house because those are even better and I will eat them like candy. I'm the same way with tums, but not as bad as I am with pepto.2 -
garystrickland357 wrote: »...the amount of money you will spend on new clothes.
I calculate I bought about six whole new wardrobes during the course of my weight loss. Even with charity shops, that got expensive.
But what I didn't anticipate is how much I'm still spending on clothes now I'm at my final size.
First there was the 'this is my final size, I can buy good clothes that will last' splurge. Then there was the 'hey, I don't have to hide my tummy anymore, I can buy styles I never even looked at before' splurge. Then there was the 'holy *kitten* what is this "cold" malarkey, now I understand why people have a separate winter wardrobe' splurge. Then there was the 'wait, I can wear designer clothes now' splurge.
Help, help, I think I've become a fashion victim...
Not to mention the amount of money I've spent on cycling clothes, running shoes, etc...
Thought I had leveled off from buying new clothes but now I’m looking at swimsuits! It’s cold in Colorado but spring is just around the corner!7 -
I don't get how anyone comfortably buys bathing suits. Even when I was thin I hated that experience.4
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garystrickland357 wrote: »...the amount of money you will spend on new clothes.
I calculate I bought about six whole new wardrobes during the course of my weight loss. Even with charity shops, that got expensive.
But what I didn't anticipate is how much I'm still spending on clothes now I'm at my final size.
First there was the 'this is my final size, I can buy good clothes that will last' splurge. Then there was the 'hey, I don't have to hide my tummy anymore, I can buy styles I never even looked at before' splurge. Then there was the 'holy *kitten* what is this "cold" malarkey, now I understand why people have a separate winter wardrobe' splurge. Then there was the 'wait, I can wear designer clothes now' splurge.
Help, help, I think I've become a fashion victim...
Not to mention the amount of money I've spent on cycling clothes, running shoes, etc...
I am not even thinking about that. Not when I have a tendency to discover that my gym clothes are slightly too big just before a high-impact class, and the nearest place to buy emergency leggings is Sweaty Betty...
"Emergency leggings!" LOL6 -
Clothes can still be extremely unflattering even though I've lost a lot of the weight that was making other clothes unflattering. Some clothes just make you look fat, no matter what weight you are lol.28
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I don't get how anyone comfortably buys bathing suits. Even when I was thin I hated that experience.
Check out amazon swimwear.
They have some very cute part and full coverage suits now.
I even see many young women choosing suits they can swim in and not worry about falling out or bubbling out.
Some look like workout wear with legs of different lengths and even zip-up short and long sleeve suits.
Some are advertised as water ski suits but you can pretty much choose the amount of coverage you want.
I like the one piece kind as a daily workout swimsuit that goes from the gym to the pool in a snap!
But there Is pretty much any and as much coverage as you want and people are so used to seeing active water-wear now that it’s normal for all ages.
17 -
@Teerai I'm going to have to check this out! I almost always have to wear a long-sleeve rashguard (I burn like fresh hot cakes on a griddle in under 2 seconds flat) no matter what "suit" I have unless I go out with a few extra pounds of sunscreen. Then I feel like a french fry ready for the deep fryer!
Amazon, you say? Thanks for the info!5 -
I don't get how anyone comfortably buys bathing suits. Even when I was thin I hated that experience.
Check out amazon swimwear.
They have some very cute part and full coverage suits now.
I even see many young women choosing suits they can swim in and not worry about falling out or bubbling out.
Some look like workout wear with legs of different lengths and even zip-up short and long sleeve suits.
Some are advertised as water ski suits but you can pretty much choose the amount of coverage you want.
I like the one piece kind as a daily workout swimsuit that goes from the gym to the pool in a snap!
But there Is pretty much any and as much coverage as you want and people are so used to seeing active water-wear now that it’s normal for all ages.
I loooove this suit. I didn't realize they had ones with sleeves like this. It would be wonderful not just for the style but for the sun coverage. It would be nice to be able to swim without worrying about how well I did my back with sunscreen.4 -
RelCanonical wrote: »I don't get how anyone comfortably buys bathing suits. Even when I was thin I hated that experience.
Check out amazon swimwear.
They have some very cute part and full coverage suits now.
I even see many young women choosing suits they can swim in and not worry about falling out or bubbling out.
Some look like workout wear with legs of different lengths and even zip-up short and long sleeve suits.
Some are advertised as water ski suits but you can pretty much choose the amount of coverage you want.
I like the one piece kind as a daily workout swimsuit that goes from the gym to the pool in a snap!
But there Is pretty much any and as much coverage as you want and people are so used to seeing active water-wear now that it’s normal for all ages.
I loooove this suit. I didn't realize they had ones with sleeves like this. It would be wonderful not just for the style but for the sun coverage. It would be nice to be able to swim without worrying about how well I did my back with sunscreen.
I agree! It would also be great to protect my tattoos from the sun!!4 -
I bought this swim suit from Amazon last year. It's FAB-U-LOUS as it covers my thighs (which is my problem area). Great for the water park as it stopped my thighs rubbing together whilst walking between rides. I used to wear lycra cycling shorts but these are better because they look like a proper set.
17 -
Ha! All of the above are optional!making_tracks wrote: »-your boyfriend says in that worried tone "how much more weight are you going to lose?"
Is he:
(1) concerned you're too skinny?
(2) afraid your breasts / bottom will completely disappear?
(3) afraid you'll put his diet and exercise routine under the microscope?
(4) worried you're so fit now you might run off into the sunset with a faster fitter kind of guy?
4 -
That you’ll go to rub the back of your neck and shoulders and it will feel like a completely different person back there, like you’re rubbing the wrong back!
Or that you will even get to reach your arms all the way back there comfortably. I still struggle if I'm in a coat slightly too small! Sad.2 -
making_tracks wrote: »-your boyfriend says in that worried tone "how much more weight are you going to lose?"
Is he:
(1) concerned you're too skinny?
(2) afraid your breasts / bottom will completely disappear?
(3) afraid you'll put his diet and exercise routine under the microscope?
(4) worried you're so fit now you might run off into the sunset with a faster fitter kind of guy?
LoL. It's definitely 46 -
RelCanonical wrote: »ExistingFish wrote: »RelCanonical wrote: »Food still has the ability to give me horrible gas even when I'm not over my calorie goal. It's not just eating too much that can cause stomach issues, and I realized that quite clearly this weekend. One must work up to eating decent amounts of kimchi if one hasn't had it before - even though it is delicious and quite easy to eat half a jar.
I have discovered the usefulness of Beano (well, store brand digestive enzymes compared to Beano).
Beano before, there will be no gas
Beano before, silence after
My husband has to hear me say this every time we have dinner....
I'm gonna have to try it! Pepto Bismol hasn't been cutting it lately, but I've been sticking to it because I'm a weirdo that likes the taste of it. I can't have the chew-able tablets in the house because those are even better and I will eat them like candy. I'm the same way with tums, but not as bad as I am with pepto.
Beano is totally different. It's a digestive enzyme (or enzyme cocktail?) you take before you eat something that will cause gas (for me, it's broccoli or cauliflower, etc), it won't do any good after (like gas-x or pepto). I also take lactaid for dairy, which works the same way. You take it before you eat, not after. Both are digestive enzymes that help your body break down the sugars and starches that cause gas and bloating when the bacteria in your large intestine gets ahold of it. Since they are more efficiently broken down in the stomach and small intestine, they just don't make it to the gas producing stage.6 -
ExistingFish wrote: »RelCanonical wrote: »ExistingFish wrote: »RelCanonical wrote: »Food still has the ability to give me horrible gas even when I'm not over my calorie goal. It's not just eating too much that can cause stomach issues, and I realized that quite clearly this weekend. One must work up to eating decent amounts of kimchi if one hasn't had it before - even though it is delicious and quite easy to eat half a jar.
I have discovered the usefulness of Beano (well, store brand digestive enzymes compared to Beano).
Beano before, there will be no gas
Beano before, silence after
My husband has to hear me say this every time we have dinner....
I'm gonna have to try it! Pepto Bismol hasn't been cutting it lately, but I've been sticking to it because I'm a weirdo that likes the taste of it. I can't have the chew-able tablets in the house because those are even better and I will eat them like candy. I'm the same way with tums, but not as bad as I am with pepto.
Beano is totally different. It's a digestive enzyme (or enzyme cocktail?) you take before you eat something that will cause gas (for me, it's broccoli or cauliflower, etc), it won't do any good after (like gas-x or pepto). I also take lactaid for dairy, which works the same way. You take it before you eat, not after. Both are digestive enzymes that help your body break down the sugars and starches that cause gas and bloating when the bacteria in your large intestine gets ahold of it. Since they are more efficiently broken down in the stomach and small intestine, they just don't make it to the gas producing stage.
Thanks! I'll remember to do that. I have some known trigger foods, usually in the fermented or pickled categories, so I'll know to take it before.3 -
RelCanonical wrote: »I don't get how anyone comfortably buys bathing suits. Even when I was thin I hated that experience.
Check out amazon swimwear.
They have some very cute part and full coverage suits now.
I even see many young women choosing suits they can swim in and not worry about falling out or bubbling out.
Some look like workout wear with legs of different lengths and even zip-up short and long sleeve suits.
Some are advertised as water ski suits but you can pretty much choose the amount of coverage you want.
I like the one piece kind as a daily workout swimsuit that goes from the gym to the pool in a snap!
But there Is pretty much any and as much coverage as you want and people are so used to seeing active water-wear now that it’s normal for all ages.
I loooove this suit. I didn't realize they had ones with sleeves like this. It would be wonderful not just for the style but for the sun coverage. It would be nice to be able to swim without worrying about how well I did my back with sunscreen.
Do you have a link for this particular suit?3 -
kenyonhaff wrote: »RelCanonical wrote: »I don't get how anyone comfortably buys bathing suits. Even when I was thin I hated that experience.
Check out amazon swimwear.
They have some very cute part and full coverage suits now.
I even see many young women choosing suits they can swim in and not worry about falling out or bubbling out.
Some look like workout wear with legs of different lengths and even zip-up short and long sleeve suits.
Some are advertised as water ski suits but you can pretty much choose the amount of coverage you want.
I like the one piece kind as a daily workout swimsuit that goes from the gym to the pool in a snap!
But there Is pretty much any and as much coverage as you want and people are so used to seeing active water-wear now that it’s normal for all ages.
I loooove this suit. I didn't realize they had ones with sleeves like this. It would be wonderful not just for the style but for the sun coverage. It would be nice to be able to swim without worrying about how well I did my back with sunscreen.
Do you have a link for this particular suit?
There's a couple listings that seem to have different sizes, so you can search the brand on amazon if this listing doesn't have your size: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0784WVGGR/ref=sspa_dk_detail_1?th=1&psc=11 -
TMI but I need a rash guard lower down, if ya know what I mean. Shaving has always been nightmarishly painful. Nice to know my ugly old Lycra shorts might actually be fashionable at the pool this year, although now that I’m down weightwise, it would be lovely to be able to show it off in a “normal” swimsuit. *sigh*1
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springlering62 wrote: »TMI but I need a rash guard lower down, if ya know what I mean. Shaving has always been nightmarishly painful. Nice to know my ugly old Lycra shorts might actually be fashionable at the pool this year, although now that I’m down weightwise, it would be lovely to be able to show it off in a “normal” swimsuit. *sigh*
When I was looking for that suit I saw ones that were more "boy short" style of bottom, and they were definitely swimsuits and not just shorter wetsuits. Definitely look around, I'm glad they're more in style too.
As far as hair removal, I'm a very hairy woman, so I empathize. It depends on how sensitive your skin is down there, but I generally trim with scissors and then use depilatory cream like Nair to actually remove the hair. Definitely patch test first. I use the sensitive skin formula but that can still be too much for other parts of my body (like my neck - am hairy woman).8
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