What's on your mind?
Replies
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caco_ethes wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »MistressSara wrote: »Just get rid of that stupid *kitten* button. It enables passive-aggressive pricks more than it diffuses potentially explosive arguments. Let’s not put more weapons in the hands of anonymous trolls. Let’s find ways to help us see that there is an actual person on the other end of that online exchange. Let’s enable and encourage respect for dissenting opinions. Let people politely disagree because that’s what humans are capable of.
that button doesn't mean anything. it never has. it never will.
Ehh. That’s like saying a smile and a frown are worth the same from a stranger. One will make you feel better than the other. Saying the button doesn’t mean anything doesn’t make it not mean anything to people for whom it means something
My view is that mpf isn't about negative reactions, otherwise there'd be a down vote. Mfp is way too vanilla to allow for negative (and sadly, honest) uncensored opinions. So "woo" cannot be a negative reaction, mfp wouldn't allow it.
Except that a majority see it that way, so there's that.
At first a lot of us took it as a "fun" woo-hoo type of agreement when our 'awesome' was taken away, so I thought anyhow.
I don't like it now that I know it hurts some people's feelings, so I don't use it.
Honesty I would prefer a straight up down vote.
I liked getting woo’d before but when they redid the buttons they also reset everyone’s woo’s to zero and announced it was officially a negative reaction. I know some people have continued to use it but it definitely has a negative gut-feel now when you get one.
100%
I never read any of the rules on mfp, or announcements, but when I heard some people were getting hurt feelings about it I did...never used it since.
If it can be misconstrued as negative or hurtful, nope, not by me.
A ⬇️ or 👎 or ❎ would be fine to me, it's more a disagree, but the mfp definition of "woo" kinda takes away from people's ideas and opinions and professes them as "pseudo (whatever)" which is inherently more insulting (to me) than a 'disagree'.
Know Im 'switchy' on my ideas...I kinda sound contradictory, but that's just me.
Im a fence dweller
I see both sides often
All I can infer for this is that V is a switch and I'm a bit intrigued!1 -
tinkerhellraiser wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »MistressSara wrote: »Just get rid of that stupid *kitten* button. It enables passive-aggressive pricks more than it diffuses potentially explosive arguments. Let’s not put more weapons in the hands of anonymous trolls. Let’s find ways to help us see that there is an actual person on the other end of that online exchange. Let’s enable and encourage respect for dissenting opinions. Let people politely disagree because that’s what humans are capable of.
that button doesn't mean anything. it never has. it never will.
Ehh. That’s like saying a smile and a frown are worth the same from a stranger. One will make you feel better than the other. Saying the button doesn’t mean anything doesn’t make it not mean anything to people for whom it means something
trust me i get that ^ heck that's why im always telling women to smile more.
no but seriously i think those things are tangible at least. they have a face to go with them. you may know the person who gives you either of them. they have weight.
a button online doesn't have that.
it's even shielded by anonymity. in fact, letting it bother you only gives the person who's doing it more power over you. they get to remain anonymous AND they get to know how it bothers you. dont ever let someone have that kind of power over you.
Well see now that’s where we diverge. If an anonymous wooer thinks they’re wielding any power, thats just embarrassing. You don’t have to be anything special or work hard at all to make me feel grumpy or gross for a minute. Heck, dog crap on my shoe can do that.
Generally i can tell by my post if the woo is designed to have the dog crap effect or not. 89-96% of woos don’t bother me. The woos that bother me are the ones that make me feel as though I haven’t explained my point as well as I would’ve liked. The ones that make me feel misunderstood. Those bother me, not because the wooer had the power to make me feel bad anymore than you have the power to make those woos mean nothing. It’s just, to me, a symptom of my inability to communicate something I’m trying to communicate.
So basically, the woos that bug me are the ones I subconsciously feel i deserved.
the woo that bugs me are on selfies like other people’s selfies it makes me kinda pissed off tbh bc i feel it takes a lot to put up a pic for some people
People who just go around wooing selfies are garbage people, pure and simple6 -
A whole lot1
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tinkerhellraiser wrote: »Tankiscool wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »MistressSara wrote: »Just get rid of that stupid *kitten* button. It enables passive-aggressive pricks more than it diffuses potentially explosive arguments. Let’s not put more weapons in the hands of anonymous trolls. Let’s find ways to help us see that there is an actual person on the other end of that online exchange. Let’s enable and encourage respect for dissenting opinions. Let people politely disagree because that’s what humans are capable of.
that button doesn't mean anything. it never has. it never will.
Ehh. That’s like saying a smile and a frown are worth the same from a stranger. One will make you feel better than the other. Saying the button doesn’t mean anything doesn’t make it not mean anything to people for whom it means something
trust me i get that ^ heck that's why im always telling women to smile more.
no but seriously i think those things are tangible at least. they have a face to go with them. you may know the person who gives you either of them. they have weight.
a button online doesn't have that.
it's even shielded by anonymity. in fact, letting it bother you only gives the person who's doing it more power over you. they get to remain anonymous AND they get to know how it bothers you. dont ever let someone have that kind of power over you.
I wants to start wooing people in a postive way. Some certain person, shall remain nameless, has taken the inspiring button over. I feel a lil slutty hugging everyone.Nah I'm a huge sloot! 😁❤
tbf i think most people know if you interact with me and then suddenly get inspired it's because i like you or something you said made me laugh. and i need laughter in my life. as often as i can get it.
the big secret is that when i don't inspire I'm actually liking or hugging instead.
the button u really want >>>
a very NZ type of comedy clip - love it!0 -
JustPassingTime wrote: »I wonder what happened to the singles thread it's dead in there
What are you doing in there?
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JustPassingTime wrote: »I wonder what happened to the singles thread it's dead in there
A lurker are we? 😜 we want our old thread back is what happened!1 -
JustPassingTime wrote: »Tankiscool wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »I wonder what happened to the singles thread it's dead in there
A lurker are we? 😜 we want our old thread back is what happened!
I just noticed the thread hasn't pop up on top every few minutes
I'm as curious as Jo, what were you doing there?0 -
JustPassingTime wrote: »slimgirljo15 wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »I wonder what happened to the singles thread it's dead in there
What are you doing in there?
Lol! You guys are just lurking huh?
Lol mayyyybeee. Like you said the singles thread isn't popping up every few minutes0 -
JustPassingTime wrote: »What kinda chit is press on veneers? So someone with bad or has missing teeth uses this product then gets a date and what happens when the date finds out later?
shhh 0 -
JustPassingTime wrote: »What kinda chit is press on veneers? So someone with bad or has missing teeth uses this product then gets a date and what happens when the date finds out later?
Had to look that up tbh i had no clue wtf you were saying lol now I'm curious as well0 -
Lot of talk about woo.
Too many words for a Friday night.
Love y’all anyway. 🍻3 -
RomaineCalm wrote: »Lot of talk about woo.
Too many words for a Friday night.
Love y’all anyway. 🍻
Nice! 1 -
JustPassingTime wrote: »Tankiscool wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »What kinda chit is press on veneers? So someone with bad or has missing teeth uses this product then gets a date and what happens when the date finds out later?
Had to look that up tbh i had ni clue wtf you were saying lol now I'm curious as wellTankiscool wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »What kinda chit is press on veneers? So someone with bad or has missing teeth uses this product then gets a date and what happens when the date finds out later?
Had to look that up tbh i had ni clue wtf you were saying lol now I'm curious as well
BrightimagelabDOTcom it was on my YouTube. Correct me if I'm wrong but that's deceiving somebody.
Not wrong but don't you think you'd be able to tell. Like trying to talk with a mouth guard in lol0 -
Being annoyed that every time I try to do calories it crashes in an error.1
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Why do I keep reading Dostoyevsky even though every page is a proverbial punch in the d!ck.3
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@tinkerhellraiser wrote: »my big fear is that anytime i get woo it’s a friend who secretly hates me
Aww, lady
I don't trust people much either
A woo (to me) is from someone who likes you and has a good sense of humour! "whoo hoo"...This!! Take it as a positive, because you are never mean, hateful or in any way negative on here! There is no reason for anyone to be anything but kind towards you.
If some one were to woo you in a negative sense, they are clearly a troll and a pathetic *kitten*-hole...or a stupid, sorry person who (doesn't) deserve pity...*kitten* them, non gently with a 2x4.
You are one of the purely good ones (as represented here, not saying your an angel or anything, just you only represent kindness and have never seen a speck of mean from you).
If someone ever does be mean to you, alert me and I will hunt them down...I have a savage inner who demands retribution...look out a-holes!
(yes I'm a smidge protective of my people)
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Tankiscool wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »MistressSara wrote: »Just get rid of that stupid *kitten* button. It enables passive-aggressive pricks more than it diffuses potentially explosive arguments. Let’s not put more weapons in the hands of anonymous trolls. Let’s find ways to help us see that there is an actual person on the other end of that online exchange. Let’s enable and encourage respect for dissenting opinions. Let people politely disagree because that’s what humans are capable of.
that button doesn't mean anything. it never has. it never will.
Ehh. That’s like saying a smile and a frown are worth the same from a stranger. One will make you feel better than the other. Saying the button doesn’t mean anything doesn’t make it not mean anything to people for whom it means something
trust me i get that ^ heck that's why im always telling women to smile more.
no but seriously i think those things are tangible at least. they have a face to go with them. you may know the person who gives you either of them. they have weight.
a button online doesn't have that.
it's even shielded by anonymity. in fact, letting it bother you only gives the person who's doing it more power over you. they get to remain anonymous AND they get to know how it bothers you. dont ever let someone have that kind of power over you.
I wants to start wooing people in a postive way. Some certain person, shall remain nameless, has taken the inspiring button over. I feel a lil slutty hugging everyone.Nah I'm a huge sloot! 😁❤
tbf i think most people know if you interact with me and then suddenly get inspired it's because i like you or something you said made me laugh. and i need laughter in my life. as often as i can get it.
the big secret is that when i don't inspire I'm actually liking or hugging instead.
***insightful!, inspiring!, like!, WOOHOO!!, huggies!!1 -
@MistressSara wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »MistressSara wrote: »Just get rid of that stupid *kitten* button. It enables passive-aggressive pricks more than it diffuses potentially explosive arguments. Let’s not put more weapons in the hands of anonymous trolls. Let’s find ways to help us see that there is an actual person on the other end of that online exchange. Let’s enable and encourage respect for dissenting opinions. Let people politely disagree because that’s what humans are capable of.
that button doesn't mean anything. it never has. it never will.
Ehh. That’s like saying a smile and a frown are worth the same from a stranger. One will make you feel better than the other. Saying the button doesn’t mean anything doesn’t make it not mean anything to people for whom it means something
trust me i get that ^ heck that's why im always telling women to smile more.
no but seriously i think those things are tangible at least. they have a face to go with them. you may know the person who gives you either of them. they have weight.
a button online doesn't have that.
it's even shielded by anonymity. in fact, letting it bother you only gives the person who's doing it more power over you. they get to remain anonymous AND they get to know how it bothers you. dont ever let someone have that kind of power over you.
I just have a mostly academic problem with it. I think it’s stupid and actively unhelpful in human interactions.
That said, when people say “don’t feel that way” or “ toughen up” “ don’t let it bother you” it bothers me. Mostly because I own my feelings. I feel how I feel. And why would I want to stop feeling? Good or bad.
But it also troubles me because no one ever says HOW. How do you not feel what you feel? I understand how to pretend. I’m pretty good at it actually. But to actually not feel? No clue.
BTW, this is the kind of respectful, interested, friendly disagreement I want more of. 😂
Had to go way back to quote you, but had to, you are so well spoken!
Want your opinion on something that has bugged me for years, and I cant get over (anyone else's opinion too, perception problem to me, curious on interpretation)
Had someone tell me before "it's my fault if I have hurt feelings" (because that wasn't their intention, just my perception)1 -
@MistressSara wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »MistressSara wrote: »Just get rid of that stupid *kitten* button. It enables passive-aggressive pricks more than it diffuses potentially explosive arguments. Let’s not put more weapons in the hands of anonymous trolls. Let’s find ways to help us see that there is an actual person on the other end of that online exchange. Let’s enable and encourage respect for dissenting opinions. Let people politely disagree because that’s what humans are capable of.
that button doesn't mean anything. it never has. it never will.
Ehh. That’s like saying a smile and a frown are worth the same from a stranger. One will make you feel better than the other. Saying the button doesn’t mean anything doesn’t make it not mean anything to people for whom it means something
trust me i get that ^ heck that's why im always telling women to smile more.
no but seriously i think those things are tangible at least. they have a face to go with them. you may know the person who gives you either of them. they have weight.
a button online doesn't have that.
it's even shielded by anonymity. in fact, letting it bother you only gives the person who's doing it more power over you. they get to remain anonymous AND they get to know how it bothers you. dont ever let someone have that kind of power over you.
I just have a mostly academic problem with it. I think it’s stupid and actively unhelpful in human interactions.
That said, when people say “don’t feel that way” or “ toughen up” “ don’t let it bother you” it bothers me. Mostly because I own my feelings. I feel how I feel. And why would I want to stop feeling? Good or bad.
But it also troubles me because no one ever says HOW. How do you not feel what you feel? I understand how to pretend. I’m pretty good at it actually. But to actually not feel? No clue.
BTW, this is the kind of respectful, interested, friendly disagreement I want more of. 😂
Had to go way back to quote you, but had to, you are so well spoken!
Want your opinion on something that has bugged me for years, and I cant get over (anyone else's opinion too, perception problem to me, curious on interpretation)
Had someone tell me before "it's my fault if I have hurt feelings" (because that wasn't their intention, just my perception)
I know you didn’t ask me but i want to chime in.
That’s an extreme way of putting it but I generally agree with that statement. I think intention trumps perception, because people are generally not flawless at expressing themselves. If someone teases me and i take offense and later find out they were just trying to tease me because they like me, then clearly my perception was wrong, therefore my reaction was inappropriate.
However, intentions are impossible to know for sure and perception is difficult to control so I generally abide by this one rule: don’t take offense.
Sounds silly and oversimplified but it allows me to control the situation. It’s almost impossible for someone to offend me or hurt my feelings. If they like me, then i can trust that they’d never want to hurt me, therefore i never read any harm into their actions toward me. If I don’t know if they like me, i give them the benefit of the doubt. If you want to insult me you’re going to have to put a lot of effort into beating me over the head with it because i just won’t believe you’re really insulting me, and in my experience most people are too lazy to try that hard 😅
For what it’s worth, i grew up always sure people were making fun of me and i took offense to most everything, so its not just my personality to not care. Maybe two parts growing out of it and three parts changing my mind about what I’ll let bother me.2 -
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JustPassingTime wrote: »I wonder what happened to the singles thread it's dead in there
😂😂0 -
MistressSara wrote: »also, I can’t possibly figure out intentions with any degree of accuracy unless I really know a person well. But I don’t have to. if you cause me pain, regardless of intention, my feelings are valid. someone telling me those feelings are not valid makes me feel worse. i have choices in those situations. Hunker down and lick my wounds, address the subject directly- preferably with the person who has offended me, lash out and become another hurtful person...
what i won’t do is harden my heart. i’d rather feel the pain
I agree with this. A person can say "You're the ugliest person I know" and say they didn't intend to hurt you, they are just stating a fact. Does that make it okay? Does that make it hurt less?
People can not control how they feel. Something can hurt your feelings even if it wasn't meant to. That doesn't mean that your feelings weren't truly hurt.
Now on the other hand there are a lot of people who seem to WANT to be offended by everything and are always looking for a reason to garner sympathy because someone else was so "mean".
There is a line somewhere and some of it is an internal issue and some of it is other people being *kitten* humans. I don't know exactly where the line is soooooo now I just rambled for nothing.4 -
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IslandGal3 wrote: »I've ran a lot of races. Why am I nervous this morning.
You are expecting something? Something is going to happen?1 -
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MistressSara wrote: »@MistressSara wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »MistressSara wrote: »Just get rid of that stupid *kitten* button. It enables passive-aggressive pricks more than it diffuses potentially explosive arguments. Let’s not put more weapons in the hands of anonymous trolls. Let’s find ways to help us see that there is an actual person on the other end of that online exchange. Let’s enable and encourage respect for dissenting opinions. Let people politely disagree because that’s what humans are capable of.
that button doesn't mean anything. it never has. it never will.
Ehh. That’s like saying a smile and a frown are worth the same from a stranger. One will make you feel better than the other. Saying the button doesn’t mean anything doesn’t make it not mean anything to people for whom it means something
trust me i get that ^ heck that's why im always telling women to smile more.
no but seriously i think those things are tangible at least. they have a face to go with them. you may know the person who gives you either of them. they have weight.
a button online doesn't have that.
it's even shielded by anonymity. in fact, letting it bother you only gives the person who's doing it more power over you. they get to remain anonymous AND they get to know how it bothers you. dont ever let someone have that kind of power over you.
I just have a mostly academic problem with it. I think it’s stupid and actively unhelpful in human interactions.
That said, when people say “don’t feel that way” or “ toughen up” “ don’t let it bother you” it bothers me. Mostly because I own my feelings. I feel how I feel. And why would I want to stop feeling? Good or bad.
But it also troubles me because no one ever says HOW. How do you not feel what you feel? I understand how to pretend. I’m pretty good at it actually. But to actually not feel? No clue.
BTW, this is the kind of respectful, interested, friendly disagreement I want more of. 😂
Had to go way back to quote you, but had to, you are so well spoken!
Want your opinion on something that has bugged me for years, and I cant get over (anyone else's opinion too, perception problem to me, curious on interpretation)
Had someone tell me before "it's my fault if I have hurt feelings" (because that wasn't their intention, just my perception)
i think you’re responsible for your life but
we are social creatures. And we are interdependent. And I do believe we have responsibilities to each other. And I believe some people behave in *kitten* ways. we do have power over each other. I try to take that seriously. I often fail, but I do try. I try to be brave in the face of my own hurt feelings. I try not to numb my feelings, not to avoid my feelings but to act in the right way regardless of my feelings. i try to feel my feelings and rise strong anyway. it’s true i give less credence to people whose opinions don’t matter.
i just woke up. haven’t had coffee yet and i’m kind of free flowing on a topic i’ve been growing in for a year. i’m probably not all that coherent.
anyway, it’s not either/or. it’s both/andMistressSara wrote: »also, I can’t possibly figure out intentions with any degree of accuracy unless I really know a person well. But I don’t have to. if you cause me pain, regardless of intention, my feelings are valid. someone telling me those feelings are not valid makes me feel worse. i have choices in those situations. Hunker down and lick my wounds, address the subject directly- preferably with the person who has offended me, lash out and become another hurtful person...
what i won’t do is harden my heart. i’d rather feel the pain
I really enjoy your thought provoking posts. As a veritable bull in a china shop when it comes to people’s feelings, it’s helpful to learn the opposite viewpoint.
Like a dozen years ago i was slootin it up with a guy at a work thing and we ended up in my hotel room. He went up my shirt and after removing my bra he drunkenly mumbled “that’s disappointing”. I will never forget the searing gut-wrenching shame I felt right then. That’s the last time I remember feeling truly hurt in a way I couldn’t control.
But then he couldn’t umm stand at attention and we ended up laying in bed and talking all night. We were having coffee the next morning and i told him what he had said. He was horrified and so apologetic. We ended up laughing about it and are still friends to this day.
His intentions were harmless; he was just being honest, although brutally so. It didn’t feel good at all, despite the fact that I’m under no illusion I’m everyone’s cup of tea. If i had stormed off and written him off as a jerk, I think it would’ve hurt me for a long time. But knowing his desire to not have hurt me made the difference.
That’s when i started assuming good intentions and i can honestly say I almost never feel hurt.
Anyway, that’s just my experience with it 😌
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MistressSara wrote: »also, I can’t possibly figure out intentions with any degree of accuracy unless I really know a person well. But I don’t have to. if you cause me pain, regardless of intention, my feelings are valid. someone telling me those feelings are not valid makes me feel worse. i have choices in those situations. Hunker down and lick my wounds, address the subject directly- preferably with the person who has offended me, lash out and become another hurtful person...
what i won’t do is harden my heart. i’d rather feel the pain
All this talk about being offended. I'm offended by your shirt Mistress, please take it off 😉0 -
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