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The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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salleewins wrote: »Me, I don't serve alcohol anymore. I find other things. I don't feel like wasting so much brain power on the whole thing
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GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!!!
I know I already commented on this last eve, BUT it keeps going through my brain in waves. AND I just read @RubyRed427's resolve not to serve alcohol in her new pad...smart, smart, smart!! This is going to be my new resolve going forward.
As I was moving things the past few days, I realized that THIS is my first sober move!! BUT then I felt the need to serve alcohol to my crew....WHY? They would have been just as happy without it...none of them are "drinkers" and can stop at one, and perhaps that is why I felt ok to. BUT, If I REALLY believe that it is poison, which I definitely do, then it is like I am serving my friends a dose of arsenic! Does that sound extreme? Perhaps to some, but if I continue to keep this in mind, it will prevent me from giving into my inner drinker! and exposing myself to self-inflicted stress!!!!!
I have served alcohol a couple of times since giving it up and have successfully not caved with the temptation in my face, BUT I need to stop creating unnecessary temptation for myself because if I continue to have it so accessible, the next time OR the next time or....it could be my undoing!!!
A side note before I end my longish share, one of my friends who's wife I gave the remaining wine to said he heard that I quit booze & I told him it's almost a year and he shared that he stopped drinking coke with his rye and i thought that was an interesting follow up.
Hoping everyone has a happy, relaxing weekend!!
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Happy Easter to all who celebrate the holiday! Wishing you all a peaceful, sober Sunday!7
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Thanks to everyone for all the kind words! Wishing everyone a happy and AF Easter 🐰🐰🐰
I’m hitting some brunch, trying to figure out a workout (my gym is closed today), and watching some NBA later. Here’s to some holiday rest & relaxation!7 -
Happy Easter to all that celebrate and have a super,sober Sunday! 7
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Happy Sober Easter! Wishing all a day full of peace and happiness. Xo8
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I ruined my 35 day streak by having 1 beer with my sister last night. Sigh. Day one today! Time to start packing to move next weekend.10
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@BuffMom84, I understand why you say "sigh." I knew I would feel that way if I had a drink on Day 20 when I was so tempted. However, 1 beer after 35 days is certainly not enough to derail you. However you want to count it, you are doing GREAT! I know our 3,000 plus Ke22YB says he did have one glass of wine at a wedding (his daughter's I think) somewhere along the way, but that didn't make him start his count over. I was a total anal student and freaked out when I got a B. A wise professor told me the B "validated" all my A's, proving that they really meant something. Maybe you can think of that 1 beer that way. I'm just yakking. Don't mind me. I just know I wouldn't/won't want one "slip" to knock me off my game, and I know you won't either. You're doing awesome.13
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@BuffMom84 look at it this way. In 36 days you've 1 non sober day and it was ONE beer. Don't be so tough on yourself. 8
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@BuffMom84 No big deal. Back on track today. 9
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I survived Easter! Was jonesing for a mimosa, but mixed some OJ with sparkling orange water and called it a day.. After virtually no sleep, making multiple dishes for today and getting really frustrated during the process this morning, I stayed the course. Ate an obscene amount of unhealthy food, but back to the diet tomorrow. Hope everyone had a great holiday!12
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Wishing everyone a wonderful Easter! 🤗💐💃💜9
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@BuffMom84 look at it this way. In 36 days you've 1 non sober day and it was ONE beer. Don't be so tough on yourself.RubyRed427 wrote: »@BuffMom84 No big deal. Back on track today.@BuffMom84, I understand why you say "sigh." I knew I would feel that way if I had a drink on Day 20 when I was so tempted. However, 1 beer after 35 days is certainly not enough to derail you. However you want to count it, you are doing GREAT! I know our 3,000 plus Ke22YB says he did have one glass of wine at a wedding (his daughter's I think) somewhere along the way, but that didn't make him start his count over. I was a total anal student and freaked out when I got a B. A wise professor told me the B "validated" all my A's, proving that they really meant something. Maybe you can think of that 1 beer that way. I'm just yakking. Don't mind me. I just know I wouldn't/won't want one "slip" to knock me off my game, and I know you won't either. You're doing awesome.
@BuffMom84 YUP, YUP & YUP!!! It's all a learning curve. 7 -
Thanks everyone I feel better about it. Usually when I go to concerts I'd get right in line for the beer stand. But last night I had the 1 beer with dinner (wasn't even that good by the way) and I did not drink at the concert at all. I'm definitely making progress. Since I finished the alcohol experiment, I decided to sign up for the live alcohol experiment starting on May 1st. Looking forward to that so I can reinforce good habits!11
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Thanks everyone I feel better about it. Usually when I go to concerts I'd get right in line for the beer stand. But last night I had the 1 beer with dinner (wasn't even that good by the way) and I did not drink at the concert at all. I'm definitely making progress. Since I finished the alcohol experiment, I decided to sign up for the live alcohol experiment starting on May 1st. Looking forward to that so I can reinforce good habits!
Proud of you!5 -
Good morning! Was dealing with some general anxiety yesterday, which feels much better this early morning. Part of it is work-related, so a portion of the cure is to get to the office and start working on the project that has been hovering out there. If I can spend a good 6 hours on that today, in addition to everything else, I expect to feel a lot better tonight.
The key for me is not to stress-eat about it. Or stress-drink, for that matter.
@BuffMom84 -- what's the live alcohol experiment?8 -
Good morning all! Yesterday I hosted Easter lunch for 18. The wine and beer were flowing but I enjoyed my seltzer and pink grapefruit mocktail. Everyone brought at least 1 bottle of wine or a 6 pack and all the left overs went home with the guests. Some were puzzled; "don't you want this for later? Your next party?" Hah. We all know that wouldn't last a day much less a "next party". I thanked them all for their generosity then sent them on their ways with the libations. The weird thing is I didn't sleep as soundly as I should have but at least I didn't have a racing heartbeat or anxiety. I remember everything about the party and am not left wondering if I did anything embarrassing etc. It's such a relief and a good feeling. Experiences like this reinforce my determination to stay sober. Like Kate from the Sober School says, Sobriety delivers what alcohol promises." In other words, good feelings, good times, happiness, inner peace.15
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Happy Late Easter!! Did an overnight for work into Easter morning--so kinda tired yesterday as I can't sleep on the job. Sugar attack, but beat the alcohol demons.
Happy new apartments, happy new apartment AF guidelines, Easter AF success, happy mega fitness improvements that AF helped with...............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are ROCKIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
https://www.amymyersmd.com/2018/07/10-signs-candida-overgrowth check that out in regards to over alcohol consumption results. I suspected this, now I see it in black and white. NOW consider this, did the candida encourage the alcohol over indulgence or the other way around OR BOTH. I think both probably. This may be simplistic, but honestly I feel it is important. She talks of stress and how it feeds this whole thing.
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BuffMom,I don't think 1 beer takes you back to day 1 either but it's up to you how you do the count sounds like everyone had a nice weekend,yay! Have a great AF day all 6
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@JenT304 Awesome! 👍👏💃2
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Good morning all! Yesterday I hosted Easter lunch for 18. The wine and beer were flowing but I enjoyed my seltzer and pink grapefruit mocktail. Everyone brought at least 1 bottle of wine or a 6 pack and all the left overs went home with the guests. Some were puzzled; "don't you want this for later? Your next party?" Hah. We all know that wouldn't last a day much less a "next party". I thanked them all for their generosity then sent them on their ways with the libations. The weird thing is I didn't sleep as soundly as I should have but at least I didn't have a racing heartbeat or anxiety. I remember everything about the party and am not left wondering if I did anything embarrassing etc. It's such a relief and a good feeling. Experiences like this reinforce my determination to stay sober. Like Kate from the Sober School says, Sobriety delivers what alcohol promises." In other words, good feelings, good times, happiness, inner peace.
Very good decision! Not only with sending the alcohol home with your guests, but also letting family and friends know your preference to do so, which is not always easy.6 -
Thanks all. @MaxInChicago I am now at a stage in life where I no longer concern myself with what other people think of me. If they think I can't control myself with alcohol, well they are right and so be it. I didn't actually SAY that. I just said, "Oh please take this with you, we don't need it!". But you are right. It didn't used to be easy. The thought of doing that in my 30's when I cared what people would think about me, is unthinkable. With age comes wisdom at least. The relatives in their 20's were more than happy to take it with them anyway lol.5
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199 days AF for me. Since you are my peeps, thought I’d share my own minor success news, rather than post elsewhere.
Finally decided mid-Jan of this year to do something about my sloth-like lifestyle. I’d still like to get to single digit BF before it’s all said & done....have some work to do still before that happens. But attached are my progress pics (from top to bottom: 01/20, 02/20, 03/20, and 04/20).
I’m learning that being AF and substance-free makes the process a lot easier 😂
Gonna “celebrate” with a meeting later today and going to see my favorite comedian who’s here in town tonight. Happy holiday weekend to all!
Well done ... way to go!4 -
Thanks everyone I feel better about it. Usually when I go to concerts I'd get right in line for the beer stand. But last night I had the 1 beer with dinner (wasn't even that good by the way) and I did not drink at the concert at all. I'm definitely making progress. Since I finished the alcohol experiment, I decided to sign up for the live alcohol experiment starting on May 1st. Looking forward to that so I can reinforce good habits!
Way to come right back ... you can do this :-)4 -
Easter was my biggest challenge so far this year. I knew it would be as my brother (who is a heavy dinker) was hosting and everyone from his in-law side was attending and I can't stand them. Normally I drink to get through and to make myself more friendly. It was difficult to say no to the free flowing alcohol and I'm pretty sure I was the only one who didn't drink. I found myself eyeballing the counter of alcohol a few times, but firmly decided I would not let these people ruin my resolve to remain AF. I even had to walk off a few times and just breathe and repeat mantras in my head. It was a bad day for me, I hated the whole experience and genuinely missed the alcohol haze that used to provide me with a better attitude to face those people. I also have a host of dietary issues and now only bring what food I can eat, so I can never partake of the food offerings available (not that I'd want to as I eat healthy and these events are far from it), which only serves to make me a complete outsider. If my parents were not there, I would have skipped the whole day, but it would have hurt their feelings.
Life being sober is great most of the time, but not in a crowd of people who make you feel desperately alone. I'll be facing these people again for more events this summer and I'm dreading it. If anyone has some tips to share on how to get through these occasions, please share.9 -
@SweatsOnSunday Here's the link to the live alcohol experiment with all the info.
https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/fp-live-experiment-may-b-20190 -
WOW I'm am so proud of everyone here whether you had one beer or were able to stay AF when there was SO much temptation in your faces this weekend. One beer and coming here to share you feelings & disappointments about it is a huge success cause quite frankly if I had one drink I may have been a train wreck so good on you @BuffMom84.
@VeggieGirlforLife I understand feeling like the odd man/woman out. It can be quite uncomfortable and sad actually. So my heart goes out to you that you'll be exposed to this same scenario throughout the summer season. My only suggestion would be to binge watch Craig Beck/Annie Grace/Alcohol Mastery or whoever turns your crank and build yourself up and strengthen your resolve to remain AF and remember we are a team....all of us here ARE here for each other...and when each event this summer is all said & done you can come to this thread and vent, rant, share your successes or whatever your little ol' heart desires. I think it is what you do during the in-between times and having to be among this particular crowd that will carry you through.5 -
Hi Everyone! I woke up on Easter Monday so happy. IT was a little difficult having our usual Easter Sunday dinner at our house for the last time. The 24 relatives were all there and I felt in my mind that I am ripping apart their traditions too (by getting a divorce). We have hosted for the last decade Easter Sunday. Anyway, I managed to stay positive and not let my mind experience guilt or shame. I was friendly and happy with all the guests, his and mine. And they were equally kind to me.
I didn’t feel tempted to drink because I had my “game face” on. I couldn't afford to get weepy or sappy which I would have done after a few glasses of wine. Instead, I stayed strong and sober. Everyone else drank very moderately. (Wish I could be like that. Ha!
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Lately, when I am feeling panicked about my decision to divorce, I keep saying “Ruby, look froward and not back!” I also say ‘Accept what is. Now what you wish it to be.” Happy everyone did well. And I understand Veggie Girl’s feeling of being alone in a crowd. I felt that way last year around my girlfriends and for awhile I just didn’t go out with them. I guess you can’t do that with your relatives. But I’m sure if at times, you just want to send your regrets and stay home, that’s ok too. Do what’s best for you. Xo
@razorcut Awesome changes!! Wow- that’s inspiring.10 -
@salleewins Thanks for sharing this about candida growth. Reading the list of causes is eye opening! I’ll have to research this more.2
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Day 43 ~ Back from Bahama House... awesome week with some awesome people. Invited our neighbors and some other friends over for dinner. Neighbor brought a six of Corona, my "go to" beach beer. Let them drink, enjoyed my dinner, talked too much. My neighbors are expat Brits... not sure yet how Brits feel about loud mouthy Yanks, but they were very gracious. Oddly, the wife, who I thought would be the uptight one, was very outgoing.
So, to sum up the week, ate like crap (Frank's Ice Cream on Grand Bahama is of the devil), didnt drink any alcohol, had an incredible week. 8 weeks until we go back....8 -
VeggieGirlforLife wrote: »Easter was my biggest challenge so far this year. I knew it would be as my brother (who is a heavy dinker) was hosting and everyone from his in-law side was attending and I can't stand them. Normally I drink to get through and to make myself more friendly. It was difficult to say no to the free flowing alcohol and I'm pretty sure I was the only one who didn't drink. I found myself eyeballing the counter of alcohol a few times, but firmly decided I would not let these people ruin my resolve to remain AF. I even had to walk off a few times and just breathe and repeat mantras in my head. It was a bad day for me, I hated the whole experience and genuinely missed the alcohol haze that used to provide me with a better attitude to face those people. I also have a host of dietary issues and now only bring what food I can eat, so I can never partake of the food offerings available (not that I'd want to as I eat healthy and these events are far from it), which only serves to make me a complete outsider. If my parents were not there, I would have skipped the whole day, but it would have hurt their feelings.
Life being sober is great most of the time, but not in a crowd of people who make you feel desperately alone. I'll be facing these people again for more events this summer and I'm dreading it. If anyone has some tips to share on how to get through these occasions, please share.
Sounds like me at most family events! I went to an AA mtg late Sunday night. Almost everyone there had a similar experience. For what it's worth, you are not alone.
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