The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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@trishfit2014 It is good to see you again. Many of us here have setbacks but we keep chugging along. We are here for you. @lauragreenbaum I was also a daily wine drinker. A lot of wine. It caused me to gain about 30 lbs over the last 10 years. I wish you luck cutting back to once a week, twice a week etc. These are very positive changes. If you haven't already, browse the previous comments for book and website resources. They are really helpful.
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It was sweet at dinner tonight, my mom told the waiter she didn't want anything to drink. I leaned over and whispered, "Mom, please enjoy and drink a glass of wine if you like." I think she was trying to be supportive but it wasn't necessary. She is a normal drinker - one and done. I never made any announcements to the family that I was quitting drinking, but obviously they notice I went from three martinis at dinner in previous years to Perrier.
One more thought, my fitness level has really improved. I am more toned. I exercised twice today not because I'm obsessed, but because on vacation you can do so much without working around alcohol. Over the last few months, the scale hasn't budged much, but I feel toned and have more endurance. My mood is even; I feel happy even thought my life has been turned upside down (my choice). Alcohol is not my friend-it's a sneaky villain. It brings nothing but regret and suffering in my life.
Like @JenT304 said, it's really difficult to lose weight while drinking. We all know the Body goes to work digesting alcohol first before any food. I once heard someone refer to a "Chardonnay belly". Ahhhh I knew exactly what that meant. I had one.7 -
trishfit2014 wrote: »I am back. I gave up on being sober but I know I am better off without alcohol. My life feels empty and alcohol fills the void. I have a job I like, kids I love but sometimes they are with their dad or friends and I am lonely. I can’t seem to date. I am an introvert who really has a hard time connecting with others. I appreciate everyone sharing their struggles here and I should stick around. I have only been sober since Saturday this time around. My son made a comment about my wine on Friday night and I felt ashamed. I know it is just numbing the pain and causing me to stay where I am but I really do not see a way out anymore. Taking it one day at a time. I do have better workouts when sober and my general mood is better. Yesterday morning I went for a run and as I was driving into work I was like wow I am in a good mood. I need to remember that. Someone on here always said to be kind to your tomorrow self.
Ouch, it is painful when a family member makes a comment about our drinking. I've been there. Happy you are feeling the difference already. Some of us have done the 30 day challenge by Annie Grace. A few pages back , someone wrote an inspirational post about all the amazing things that have happened since she quit drinking six months ago. It's worth a read. xo3 -
@Fitness327wk Happy things are going well for you! You are such a positive person!!
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lauragreenbaum wrote: »I have a big problem with wine- I have developed a very bad habit of drinking it every night. I'm not drinking today, and I've made a commitment to myself not to drink one day a week. When I accomplish that for a few weeks, I'll increase it to 2 days. That may not seem like a lot to some, or enough, but I've developed this addiction over decades, so for me it's a challenge. Wish me luck.
That sounds reasonable. Start small and then establish a new goal. I applaud you for making a change.6 -
6pm and I'm doing fine! Just got home from Pilates, am staying in my calorie goal and not drinking. My plan is to eat dinner, take my dog for a walk, make a cup of tea and finish my book. Hopeful I can sleep well. You are all so supportive. Thanks again!5
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Sounds like everyone is doing awesome...nice to see new ones here and other ones back here. A friend of mine was helping me with a job on Sunday and she told me that she is "proud" of me for kicking the booze. It was really encouraging to hear her say that. She expressed her own concerns (?) about her drinking which is developing into a habit more than a problem at this point I think....I LOVE being sober and free from even thinking about it much anymore.
Happy AF eve everyone It is a beautiful evening her and I hope everyone is enjoying nice weather wherever you may be.
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RubyRed427 wrote: »It was sweet at dinner tonight, my mom told the waiter she didn't want anything to drink. I leaned over and whispered, "Mom, please enjoy and drink a glass of wine if you like." I think she was trying to be supportive but it wasn't necessary. She is a normal drinker - one and done. I never made any announcements to the family that I was quitting drinking, but obviously they notice I went from three martinis at dinner in previous years to Perrier.
One more thought, my fitness level has really improved. I am more toned. I exercised twice today not because I'm obsessed, but because on vacation you can do so much without working around alcohol. Over the last few months, the scale hasn't budged much, but I feel toned and have more endurance. My mood is even; I feel happy even thought my life has been turned upside down (my choice). Alcohol is not my friend-it's a sneaky villain. It brings nothing but regret and suffering in my life.
Like @JenT304 said, it's really difficult to lose weight while drinking. We all know the Body goes to work digesting alcohol first before any food. I once heard someone refer to a "Chardonnay belly". Ahhhh I knew exactly what that meant. I had one.
So proud of you! 💃👍 It feels good to be in a big difference than last year. I liked my martinis as well and now looking forward to feeling great tmo! Golf and perhaps a class of either yoga or barre. ☺️😍6 -
@RubyRed427, you are an inspiration and will always be in my mind the fearless leader who kicked this thing off. How very sweet of your mom! Hope you continue to have a wonderful vacation. Xoxo
PS. I also think you are Wonder Woman brave for the steps you’ve taken personally. I know from experience it’s not easy st all, but it’s so worth it when you just know it’s right.6 -
Mini victory for me- I did it! No wine yesterday. I feel great and very proud of myself. Going to go AF one day a week for the next couple weeks then bump it up to twice a week. On the other days, limiting to two glasses that I measure out. I hope it's ok that I'm posting here- if this thread is only for people who are completely abstaining please let me know.7
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RubyRed427 wrote: »trishfit2014 wrote: »I am back. I gave up on being sober but I know I am better off without alcohol. My life feels empty and alcohol fills the void. I have a job I like, kids I love but sometimes they are with their dad or friends and I am lonely. I can’t seem to date. I am an introvert who really has a hard time connecting with others. I appreciate everyone sharing their struggles here and I should stick around. I have only been sober since Saturday this time around. My son made a comment about my wine on Friday night and I felt ashamed. I know it is just numbing the pain and causing me to stay where I am but I really do not see a way out anymore. Taking it one day at a time. I do have better workouts when sober and my general mood is better. Yesterday morning I went for a run and as I was driving into work I was like wow I am in a good mood. I need to remember that. Someone on here always said to be kind to your tomorrow self.
Ouch, it is painful when a family member makes a comment about our drinking. I've been there. Happy you are feeling the difference already. Some of us have done the 30 day challenge by Annie Grace. A few pages back , someone wrote an inspirational post about all the amazing things that have happened since she quit drinking six months ago. It's worth a read. xo
Thanks all for the welcome back. I did the alcohol challenge last year and was 60 day without and tried to moderate afterward. So restarting and feeling good about.
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lauragreenbaum wrote: »Mini victory for me- I did it! No wine yesterday. I feel great and very proud of myself. Going to go AF one day a week for the next couple weeks then bump it up to twice a week. On the other days, limiting to two glasses that I measure out. I hope it's ok that I'm posting here- if this thread is only for people who are completely abstaining please let me know.
Post here anytime! We enjoy hearing from you !4 -
@lauragreenbaum Congrats on your "victory" day!! Awareness is the first of many steps and you have some good goals. You also have a cute puppy! I LOVE dogs
@trishfit2014 You WILL make your son proud!! I think it took a lot of courage for him to speak up as hurtful as it may have been for you. You can be proud of him for that. 3 -
Great article! I wish I could find some good mock tails !3 -
Here's a little story: Last night at dinner with the whole family, the waiter brought a second glass of wine for my mom. She said to me that she didn't order one. "I only drink one glass , never two." So that full glass of white wine sat on the table for the rest of the meal. I stared at it, marveling how could she not drink it. It's there. Why not?
When the meal was over and the bill was paid, we all just got up from the table, and that glass of wine was left untouched.
*My alcoholic brain kept saying "Ruby, why don't you just drink it for her. Why let it go to waste?" But I didn't.
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@RubyRed427 So proud of you for your self control. "It's there. Why not?" I KNOW!! Amazing how our alchy brains have such difficulty comprehending a glass of wine sitting there untouched.
I just want to say how fortunate you are to have your Mom to spend time with. I miss my Mom.
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DAY OFF!!!!!! Had planned for a part of the day at the beach, BUT it appears from the forecast, which tends to change on a daily basis, that will not be the plan for today...SO, going for breakie with a friend and then hoping for the thunderstorm they've promised for this aft so I can just chill, lay in bed with my puppy and read a large portion of my novel...I just need one of those days
May we all have a relaxing?/productive?/fun?, AF day...the commonality in that sentence is AF...so whatever we end up doing may it be AF 6 -
@RubyRed427, I'll bet we can all relate to that feeling. Way back when, I gave my BFF (who has been sober for 5 years now) a card with two women on the front. One says, "You can freeze leftover wine in ice cube trays and use it for cooking." The other replies, "Wow! What an interesting concept!" and inside the card continues, "Leftover wine!" At the time we laughed because we couldn't imagine such a thing either. There was never "extra" wine.
I've got a new doctor and told her I have recently stopped drinking. She said, "You can have one small glass of wine per day." I said, "No I can't. I can have none or ten."7 -
@RubyRed427, I'll bet we can all relate to that feeling. Way back when, I gave my BFF (who has been sober for 5 years now) a card with two women on the front. One says, "You can freeze leftover wine in ice cube trays and use it for cooking." The other replies, "Wow! What an interesting concept!" and inside the card continues, "Leftover wine!" At the time we laughed because we couldn't imagine such a thing either. There was never "extra" wine.
I've got a new doctor and told her I have recently stopped drinking. She said, "You can have one small glass of wine per day." I said, "No I can't. I can have none or ten."
I LOVE this, "No I can't. I can have none or ten" YUP!!3 -
@RubyRed427, I'll bet we can all relate to that feeling. Way back when, I gave my BFF (who has been sober for 5 years now) a card with two women on the front. One says, "You can freeze leftover wine in ice cube trays and use it for cooking." The other replies, "Wow! What an interesting concept!" and inside the card continues, "Leftover wine!" At the time we laughed because we couldn't imagine such a thing either. There was never "extra" wine.
I've got a new doctor and told her I have recently stopped drinking. She said, "You can have one small glass of wine per day." I said, "No I can't. I can have none or ten."
Exactly !!! One is too much and ten is not enough.... or something like that.
Thanks for your kind words before. Many of us started together back in 2017 on the Less Alcohol thread. And many of us have determined for us, less alcohol is not possible and neither is moderation. That made me smile when you and your friend laughed about leftover wine. So true!4 -
lorrainequiche59 wrote: »DAY OFF!!!!!! Had planned for a part of the day at the beach, BUT it appears from the forecast, which tends to change on a daily basis, that will not be the plan for today...SO, going for breakie with a friend and then hoping for the thunderstorm they've promised for this aft so I can just chill, lay in bed with my puppy and read a large portion of my novel...I just need one of those days
May we all have a relaxing?/productive?/fun?, AF day...the commonality in that sentence is AF...so whatever we end up doing may it be AF
Some days it is lovely to be "forced" to relax and read. Love a good thunderstorm for that reason! Congrats on your new puppy!!3 -
I decided to go alcohol free to support my husband who has quit drinking.8
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lol, my personal saying has always been "one's too many, and a hundred'd not enough". Funny (well not really) thing is, I used to say it about others. Karma!4
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Morning friends,hmm I don't have any favorite sayings except probably it's 5 o clock somewhere since I'd drink at any time of the day-didnt matter to me,one of the things I've been thinking about is my alcohol forum I've been on for years and I kind of want to just walk away from it but then on the other had I've made good "friends" there too,I just read from one of the members who just celebrated 6 years sober and he said he had to walk away from the forum cuz he just wanted to forget where he was at back then and doesn't want a constant reminder of those days,feels he's quit drinking and moved on from that life and doesn't want the constant reminder or the temptation of constantly thinking about what he's not doing anymore,to me it spoke alot about how I feel about it,like having it constantly shoved down your throat that you're a recovering alcoholic,I really hate that, people quit smoking all the time but they're not "in recovery" why can't someone quit drinking just the same? I dunno just something I've pondered in the past too like maybe that thinking is keeping me stuck,anyhoo enough rambling from me haha,wishing everyone an awesome AF day!💖5
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@whitpauly, I totally get what you're saying. That's how I've felt about counting days. And even checking in to this great group. I've wondered, "When do I ever get to stop thinking about alcohol?" It hasn't happened yet. And you['re right . . . none of the former smokers I know are so conscious every day of not smoking. I don't have any idea what the answer is. I just wanted to say that I feel the same way. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that alcohol is absolutely everywhere. At least it is in my world.4
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@whitpauly it’s over 11 years AF and 40 years non smoking and I consider myself a former drinker and smoker not recovering from anything but a family member over 20 years still goes to AA so she is recovering
I feel it is your attitude and frame of mind that dictates recovering or former I never consider I could revert back to drinking so I am former she fears a relapse so I guess recovering
I sit in bars restaurants where I just give back my wine glass when it’s BYOB and they pour for everyone else consider yourself a non drinker and don’t give it a second thought7 -
Thanks everyone for your input I think I just have a particularly hard time with the forum I'm on because they are so judgy in a way,I've seen people chastised and told they're "back to day 1" after an accidental sip of something alcoholic,or some that have made progress yet aren't completely AF yet get beat up in away for that,plus some of the horror stories are triggers in a way( even though they're being told to help someone not pick up a drink) for me I'd just rather forget,I don't mind checking in here cuz we prop each other up in a way and listen with compassion instead of judgement,I like that about all of us😊 4
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As a former smoker I can tell you the reason it doesn't seem as hard as quitting drinking is because smoking is totally frowned on, they make it harder and harder to smoke anywhere in public, there are no ads anymore glorifying it etc. Drinking on the other hand is expected, glamorized, romanticized etc etc. Alcohol is all over billboards, tv, greeting cards etc. You can't get away from it. I am finding quitting booze MUCH harder than leaving cigarettes in the dust. I rarely think about them anymore.8
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