The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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@kevinrfletcher you are doing awesome, stay the course! I sometimes think about trying to moderate, but just don't want to break this AF streak because I don't know if I can get back to it... "Why play at it," indeed! I'm going to remember that phrase of yours!
@FeelinFooFoo I sympathize with you. I went back to what I thought was moderation after my first 30 days AF and I soon was drinking way more than I intended. This second time around, my 30 day experiment AF has continued to 160 days so far. I really don't plan to stay AF forever, but I need to do this for a long time just to show myself that I can. Also hoping alcohol will hold less and less appeal the longer I go. If you feel like you want to try again, you can always commit to another 30 day experiment. It's all up to you. I've met a lot of people here who have been back and forth with decisions to go AF or not, so you are definitely not alone in this.5 -
Hi All....I am new here and starting to live AF. Yesterday was day #2. I am very aware of my triggers. Binged a few days ago and kinda freaked myself out. Taking things one day at a time.8
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Hi All....I am new here and starting to live AF. Yesterday was day #2. I am very aware of my triggers. Binged a few days ago and kinda freaked myself out. Taking things one day at a time.
Welcome! Very helpful to know your triggers and have a plan or two on how to cope without alcohol in those situations. You will find lots of support & acceptance that will help you on your AF journey. You can do this!!
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@whitpauly @FeelinFooFoo Ditto! Yesterday, I decided to drink and there was no stopping. I bought some watermelon vodka for friends (that’s what I told myself) and ended up drinking 1/4 of the bottle. And would have kept right on going if I didn’t pour it all down the sink!!! It was $35 wasted but I saved myself a lot of pain and suffering today. I had no off switch, just kept pouring a little more and then a little more in club soda.
I certainly know I have an addiction. But I need bad days to remind myself not to ruin a good thing. Nothing good came of that vodka ; I was alone in my new apartment feeling lonely. It was raining all day. And I had a vodka pity party. Thankfully after I came to my senses last night I drank so much tea, I think I diluted the ill effects. The other realization was I was barely buzzed, just kept topping my soda off with a little more vodka. Truthfully, it would have been better if I had a good reason like happy hour with friends. But drinking alone is the pits. Anyway, just had to let you know. It feels good to have a safe place on this thread to admit when I struggle.15 -
I stopped drinking on the 9th December. I tried many different books based on giving up alcohol (got to love book samples) before one clicked with me. I read the book over a course of a week, the day I finished was the day I stopped. So now it’s been 6 months, I’ve sampled my husbands larger, wine, spirts and each time that have been yuck. When we go out I ask for AF lager or I have a drink mixed with soda water.
When you tell people you don’t drink you get weird looks or the “ I never knew you had a problem” but you can drink on birthday and special events. And then there are the friends that justify their drinking to you. The saying of “ I know when to stop”
I’m happy not drinking, happy waking up every morning knowing I can drive as no alcohol in me, the knowing what I said and did the previous night.
Wishing each and everyone of you all the best on your AF journey.
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I want just thank you guys for getting this post started. I've been reading for awhile but my typing sucks so I haven't added to the discussion. But I feel compelled to tell everyone that you are truly not alone in your struggles, but at least you recognize that alcohol just doesn't work for you anymore. It certainly doesn't for me. I'm still trying to figure out how I went from a guy who enjoyed a few beers now and then to, by anyone's defintition, a heavy and binge drinker. 87 days so far, and I don't see myself going back. If you're a podcast person, check out Recovery Elevator. Lastly, be kind to yourself...it's a process. Hope everyone has a great day!9
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Morning friends, RubyRed it just sucks and I feel like the 4 months AF I just had gotten to went down the drain! I got super drunk yet kept going and going,day 4 AF today and I still feel hungover! Totally messed up my sleep pattern,ugh,why do I stop then start again? I had just felt worn down from a long workweek and wanted that carefree feeling and I did for about an hour then I was just like blackout drunk,I'm so weird, wishes for a happy AF day today for us all
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Hey everyone! Hope all are hanging in. I’ve been out of the loop of late. The bad news: have had some significant & ongoing social struggles/issues over the last few weeks. Luckily, I have a tight circle of 2-3 friends that I now use as a sounding board. The good news: still substance & AF....today is day #252. I’m also still hitting the gym hard. Have gotten into the dreaded morning routine. I’m there M-F at 5:15a 😳11
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I'm so proud of and happy for all of you in your alcohol free journeys. I've never been a drinker. Just didn't like the taste and what it did to my cognitive functions.
I will never understand your pain and frustration but hope you'll accept my support. 6 -
@whitpauly, you are not weird at all! I’ll bet almost everyone on this thread can relate. I know I can. Maybe summer is an especially hard time. I’m finding it much harder to stay the course these days. I have an anniversary and another huge event coming up and am not feeling very confident.6
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Morning friends, RubyRed it just sucks and I feel like the 4 months AF I just had gotten to went down the drain! I got super drunk yet kept going and going,day 4 AF today and I still feel hungover! Totally messed up my sleep pattern,ugh,why do I stop then start again? I had just felt worn down from a long workweek and wanted that carefree feeling and I did for about an hour then I was just like blackout drunk,I'm so weird, wishes for a happy AF day today for us all
You are not alone! I have often wondered why I’m saddled with this addiction and no off switch, but at least it is something we can control for the most part unlike a serious disease or heart problem. You went four months!!! Look at how powerful you are! I can’t remember how many times we have all had “day 1s”. And yes the hangover is the absolute worst!! I’m so sorry 😐In two
More days you will feel so much better. Don’t forget to journal this experience for yourself. Sending you a hug!!3 -
lbsansouci wrote: »I'm so proud of and happy for all of you in your alcohol free journeys. I've never been a drinker. Just didn't like the taste and what it did to my cognitive functions.
I will never understand your pain and frustration but hope you'll accept my support.
You’re a very kind soul! Thanks for your support and words of encouragement ❤️2 -
Hey everyone! Hope all are hanging in. I’ve been out of the loop of late. The bad news: have had some significant & ongoing social struggles/issues over the last few weeks. Luckily, I have a tight circle of 2-3 friends that I now use as a sounding board. The good news: still substance & AF....today is day #252. I’m also still hitting the gym hard. Have gotten into the dreaded morning routine. I’m there M-F at 5:15a 😳
Wishing you a peaceful week! It’s wonderful you have a good supportive friends. So happy you let us know how you’re doing. I’m sure through these low times, you will find what works for you. Awesome job with your workout routine! High five! 👍2 -
I want just thank you guys for getting this post started. I've been reading for awhile but my typing sucks so I haven't added to the discussion. But I feel compelled to tell everyone that you are truly not alone in your struggles, but at least you recognize that alcohol just doesn't work for you anymore. It certainly doesn't for me. I'm still trying to figure out how I went from a guy who enjoyed a few beers now and then to, by anyone's defintition, a heavy and binge drinker. 87 days so far, and I don't see myself going back. If you're a podcast person, check out Recovery Elevator. Lastly, be kind to yourself...it's a process. Hope everyone has a great day!
It’s like a switch- one day you can moderate and then it’s like a run away train... you can’t seem to stop. I think acceptance is the key to peace. It is what it is and now you will figure out what works for you. I will look for the podcast.
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I hear you! I once told my friend why I stopped drinking and he started to put his hands up and say you will never convince me to stop! I wasn’t even saying he shouldmumandme1670 wrote: »I stopped drinking on the 9th December. I tried many different books based on giving up alcohol (got to love book samples) before one clicked with me. I read the book over a course of a week, the day I finished was the day I stopped. So now it’s been 6 months, I’ve sampled my husbands larger, wine, spirts and each time that have been yuck. When we go out I ask for AF lager or I have a drink mixed with soda water.
When you tell people you don’t drink you get weird looks or the “ I never knew you had a problem” but you can drink on birthday and special events. And then there are the friends that justify their drinking to you. The saying of “ I know when to stop”
I’m happy not drinking, happy waking up every morning knowing I can drive as no alcohol in me, the knowing what I said and did the previous night.
Wishing each and everyone of you all the best on your AF journey.
Stop. I was just sharing about me and why I am stopping. He was very defensive. 😊
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I took my youngest grandson to see Aladdin at the theater last eve and they now sell ALCOHOL...really??
The province I live in has passed legislation to sell alcohol in convenience/grocery stores also. The convenience store in my small town has sold alcohol for years, but it is affiliated with the Liquor Control Board of Ontario LCBO, so it is a bit different set up there, and let me tell you it is a busy place!
I realize that in the U.S. alcohol has been sold in convenience/grocery stores for decades so nothing new for those of you who live there.
Anyway, it is what it is and I suppose it doesn't really matter how convenient it is to buy alcohol because if a person is determined to have a drink, they'll go wherever it is even if it isn't convenient. I know I would have at one time.4 -
Hi All. Love the comments. Today I was with my sober friend (never had a problem, just does not drink) whose daughter is 5 years sober. She told me her daughters counselor once told her, "I may have one more drunk in me but maybe no more sobers". That powerful message has kept her clean. We had a lovely couple of day's visit. She lives in Florida. We lamented how hard it is to make new friends...no...best and intimate friends at our age...impossible. So I mourn her leaving. I am touched by all the honesty and struggle on the thread right now. Peace and love to you all.4
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I’m brushing up on French with Babbel (Their approach really works for me but not for all). In a conversation a man orders “une demi-bouteille de vin rouge” for himself and his companion. I thought, “Yeah, right.” I guess that’s the response of an addicted brain, right?1
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Hi All. Love the comments. Today I was with my sober friend (never had a problem, just does not drink) whose daughter is 5 years sober. She told me her daughters counselor once told her, "I may have one more drunk in me but maybe no more sobers". That powerful message has kept her clean.
I love that message, "I may have one more drunk in me but maybe no more sobers" It can be like playing Russian Roulette trying to moderate after realizing there's a definite alcohol problem, and that message highlights the danger. Like I've said before, for ME; I wanted to stop drinking before I couldn't...before it was no longer a choice because alcohol can hijack our brains and change our thinking so that we are enslaved by the addiction and no longer free to see what others can see as they observe us, AND as we can see us when we're sober.5 -
I'm starting a 3 month challenge today to lose 23 lbs.....I've lost 2, by my birthday. I took pictures with my friend this weekend and I look like a tent. The camera does not lie. Oh and I drank wine last night so I am back to day one. Good times. We are all just a work in progress, are we not? Anyway, wish me luck.
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Good Morn: Read an interesting article yesterday that my distant Cuz put on FB. He's a recovering alcoholic & the article is entitled, "Behind the Numbers: Alcohol is Killing More People Than The Opioid Epidemic. Why Aren't We Talking About It?" Contributed by Caron Treatment Facility. Not sure how to link it here so if anyone's interesting in reading it you'll need to google it LOL.
IN short the article related part of the problem with alcohol is "It's legal, easily available and socially acceptable! Nothing new to us here as we've discussed this before. It's a good article highlighting other things we have discussed here re: health consequences, but some other facts to consider that we may not realize. Good reminders why we are here.
@JenT304
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Hi all. Really enjoy reading this support thread. I am on day 7 AF and looking for places to land when I need to stay motivated. It’s been a great week and I’m feeling so healthy, but I know that struggle will happen. How do you prepare yourself mentally? I want to be strong when the trigger or the temptation happens. Stress at work is my number one trigger. Second trigger is my friends—- I have a few that we love to binge drink and it can be so tempting.....7
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What an awesome thread to find. I have been sober for going on 9 months. Alcohol has always been a HUGE struggle for me, and as an avid runner and bodybuilder it always made my fitness journey less than stellar. I finally laid it down for good, and the physical results are amazing, not to mention enhanced success in every other area of life! Keep it up Yall!7
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I had a visit with someone this week who didn't realize I've been working on my new sober life. We don't hang out, obviously or she would know, and even though we see each other fairly frequently due to a common interest, the subject of sobriety doesn't lend itself to small talk. We were talking over tea and she is newly pregnant and shared her withdrawal from her daily drinking habit. Mostly just a daily glass, but she shared how difficult it was initially to give that up even though she has one of the best incentives to stay AF... her pregnancy. So, I shared my struggle in brief, but focused on where I am now with being sober & loving the freedom it has brought me.
I thought it was interesting to hear her struggle, mostly from a social perspective and her observance of others' issues through her eyes (not that we named names of ones we suspect of having issues but obviously she has realized what I have) Anyway, it was encouraging to me to feel validated to some degree....not that I need validation to know that I am doing what I need to do for ME...at this point I am past worrying about others' drinking habits and how it affects me cause it doesn't anymore...and it is not my job to tell anyone else what to do about theirs. I need my energy to work on my own issue.....(S)!!
Being partner-less, I have more control over when I am around alcohol and can choose not to be for the most part...again I want to say I really feel for those who have to deal with others' drinking around them on a regular basis and can imagine it provides a huge temptation at times especially vulnerable times. That's why this thread is so valuable because it provides the support to keep trying no matter how many "day...(s)" we have under our belt the fact that we continue to come back here is what is important.
May everyone have a healthy, happy, day 1 or more
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jessicastanfill wrote: »Hi all. Really enjoy reading this support thread. I am on day 7 AF and looking for places to land when I need to stay motivated. It’s been a great week and I’m feeling so healthy, but I know that struggle will happen. How do you prepare yourself mentally? I want to be strong when the trigger or the temptation happens. Stress at work is my number one trigger. Second trigger is my friends—- I have a few that we love to binge drink and it can be so tempting.....
@jessicastanfill It's wonderful to hear about your first week! And you're right to anticipate future struggles. One way to prepare that I have found helpful is to have a plan ahead of time (such as having ready some kind of non-alcoholic treat for after work, or having an exit plan/reason for leaving if things get too difficult around friends who are drinking). Great to have you here!10 -
Hi Friends, I am listening to the podcast Recovery Elevator that one of you mentioned. The podcast segment is called Which Wolf Will you Feed? We all know that story to be true.
I have been lazy working on my sobriety. I have not listened to my fav inspiring youtubers (Craig Beck, Annie Grace, etc.) I have not gone to any meetings. When I moved, I put my sobriety books in a closet!! Need to unearth them today. It’s my first weekend in my apartment where I don’t have any firm plans or am not traveling. It’s quiet here. And I am loving it! I hung some of my paintings in my apartment. Make today your sober best! 10 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »Hi Friends, I am listening to the podcast Recovery Elevator that one of you mentioned. The podcast segment is called Which Wolf Will you Feed? We all know that story to be true.
I have been lazy working on my sobriety. I have not listened to my fav inspiring youtubers (Craig Beck, Annie Grace, etc.) I have not gone to any meetings. When I moved, I put my sobriety books in a closet!! Need to unearth them today. It’s my first weekend in my apartment where I don’t have any firm plans or am not traveling. It’s quiet here. And I am loving it! I hung some of my paintings in my apartment. Make today your sober best!
You have awareness and a desire to continue to be sober, and that is so important! May you have a wonderful and peaceful weekend! 😊🤗6 -
Just wanted to say great job to those of you staying sober and keep up the good work! I'll have 11 years in July thanks to the AA program and fellowship. Best thing I ever did, although the first few years were a bit like trying to climb Mt Everest, lol.9
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Just wanted to say great job to those of you staying sober and keep up the good work! I'll have 11 years in July thanks to the AA program and fellowship. Best thing I ever did, although the first few years were a bit like trying to climb Mt Everest, lol.
Congratulations on nearly 11 years!! I have 6 and a half, and am grateful for the program and the people I have met.8 -
@jessicastanfill You absolutely have to prepare yourself mentally to stop drinking. I find it very helpful to educate myself about the true nature of alcohol and the fact that it is a poisonous substance. It is not harmless. I watched Craig Beck, Annie Grace (you likely read here about her free 30 day course) and Alcohol Mastery daily for many months & read, & read, & read lots of helpful articles & will continue to read articles to reinforce what I've learned.
I also found prayer to be vital. I profess to be a Christian so decided it was time to live up to what I believe to be true for me. I'm not going to use this forum to preach, but had such a guilty conscience because the Bible is very clear on our Creator's view of over drinking...not just getting drunk, but drinking too much & the consequences of that way of life.....Anyway, having a clear conscience is the best pillow. So that has been a huge motivator for me through this process.
AND like @RubyRed427 said we can get "lazy" or just gradually forget how important it is to work at this new way of living. If we get complacent then we will have trouble sticking to our resolve to be AF. Yes, it is work, but like @jenkofb stated, "best thing I ever did"
May your desire to stay sober turn into your mission to stay sober...
Hoping the best for you & everyone here 6
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