Why didn't you get married?
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CanesGalactica wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »... he broke into my apartment.
... he used me.
... he had a mommy fetish.
... he never picked up after himself.
... he ate my food without asking.
... he told me I made him feel so dirty that he would never be clean again after believing rumors instead of you know, the person he was dating.
... he didn't like reading.
... he liked kettle corn. Yuck.
... he hated eggnog.
... he refused to acknowledge that cake donuts ARE donuts.
imho, everything on your list is quite forgivable.... until we get to the donuts.
Are you a cake donut hater.... or lover?
Good lawd this is making me feel things 🤤🤤0 -
I made it 40 seconds through. Wtf.
I somehow sat through the whole thing. That guy has some MF patience. 😳2 -
The first love died of cancer, the second one almost murdered me......literally!5
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tinkerhellraiser wrote: »LiftingSpirits wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »... because he always wanted to brush my hair.
... because he turned into a stalker.
... because he was creepy af.
... because he couldn't cook.
... because he was too nice for me.
... because he ended up having a record.
2 times in the past year I was very interested in guys who turned out to have records. Not minor ones either. Ugh
i heard 30% of adults have a criminal record in america so
I know a lot of people have minor things, but 1 guy was kidnapping and battery the other was a whole host of drug and alcohol related things, including meth, and strangulation. Gonna have to pass on those guys. Messed up thing is that they both had good jobs so I was caught off guard. The "chef" at Five Guys had no record at all, go figure.
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I'm not ready to get married. I'm only 47.
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LiftingSpirits wrote: »Just have fun with this. It can be real things that happened to you or just reasons you have for not getting married.
https://youtu.be/VFIw3fyaw-E 0 -
LiftingSpirits wrote: »tinkerhellraiser wrote: »LiftingSpirits wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »... because he always wanted to brush my hair.
... because he turned into a stalker.
... because he was creepy af.
... because he couldn't cook.
... because he was too nice for me.
... because he ended up having a record.
2 times in the past year I was very interested in guys who turned out to have records. Not minor ones either. Ugh
i heard 30% of adults have a criminal record in america so
I know a lot of people have minor things, but 1 guy was kidnapping and battery the other was a whole host of drug and alcohol related things, including meth, and strangulation. Gonna have to pass on those guys. Messed up thing is that they both had good jobs so I was caught off guard. The "chef" at Five Guys had no record at all, go figure.
😯0 -
DonutEatThat wrote: »
I made it 40 seconds through. Wtf.
I somehow sat through the whole thing. That guy has some MF patience. 😳
I was ready to throw her out the damn car myself3 -
GoJohnGo71 wrote: »I'm not ready to get married. I'm only 47.
haha! I'm 54 and definitely too young to do such a foolish thing!0 -
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The first time I was proposed to, it was WHILE I was breaking up with him because I found out he had been cheating on me during our entire 2.5 year relationship. Like... No.2
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Marriage can be a good thing, there are positives, and I'm not dissing it. My last post sounded very negative
Depends on what you want for your life. You could find someone enjoys the same things you do. And then you can share some amazing adventures and experiences with that person.
I guess it also depends on you and that person you are with. Do you want to get married? Or do you want to just be together with out the official "marriage"? Or would you prefer to just be single?
There is such a variety these days, for lifestyles and relationships. What works for others may not work for you.
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That is true. What I want for me is also prone to change, and I guess it's normal that peoples feelings change with time.Marriage can be a good thing, there are positives, and I'm not dissing it. My last post sounded very negative
Depends on what you want for your life. You could find someone enjoys the same things you do. And then you can share some amazing adventures and experiences with that person.
That is very true.
When I had my daughter, a lot of my dreams changed. I had new dreams and goals that were very different from what I previously had. They weren't better or worse, it's just that I had changed. So the things I wanted out of life, changed as well.
Some people have this great ability to be open enough to grow and change WITH their partner. But unfortunately not everyone is that lucky....0 -
DonutEatThat wrote: »
I made it 40 seconds through. Wtf.
I somehow sat through the whole thing. That guy has some MF patience. 😳
I was ready to throw her out the damn car myself
I just kept thinking what a good place a lake is to drown a person.
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Bad experiences in college:
1) wasted two years pursuing a guy who was gay and in denial.
2) attacked by drunk fraternity thugs bent on rape and had to defend myself with a fencing foil.
3) took until 25 or 26 years old to start trusting men again and by then decent people were all paired up.
There were two decent men sandwiched in there who I perhaps unwisely took a pass on because my mother is a *kitten*ing racist and was persecuting a sibling for marrying a Jewish person. They were Jewish and I didn't want to sign up, or sign them up, for the kinds of abuse I was observing.
PS: sorry to be brutally honest, hope that doesn't ruin your day.
PPS: if you are a dude--that fraternity thug incident isn't that uncommon; if you've ever had a really neurotic girlfriend it's probably PTSD from an interaction with guys like those, or fear of them--'shroedinger's rapists'--that is making her neurotic. It's not you, it's her, but it is her because of what women call 'rape culture'. The predators among men are very good at pretending to be normal, sort of like a venus fly trap is good at looking like an ordinary plant. Studies show 5% of men don't recognize date rape when it is presented to them as a scenario and are at risk of being predators that way. So try to imagine if 1 in every 20 dudes you know as buddies might try to rape you at some point and you can understand why women can be neurotic when dating. What is more, each of these guys tends to be a serial offender and even at only 5%, bad dudes can result in tens of %'s of paranoid women. Lastly, a lot of the offenders have ego issues and become violent when rejected, which is why men complain of 'mixed signals'--she may fear that saying 'no' directly will result in being hospitalized or killed, because she can't tell the bad/violently explosive dudes from the good ones who will just walk away in disappointment. (you can't tell them apart either).4 -
Well he won’t agree that we should have a black accent wall in our dining room so I’m really not sure he’s the one anymore.6
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... we kissed for the first time and it felt like kissing a brother.
... they were too co-dependent.1 -
CoffeeAndContour wrote: »Well he won’t agree that we should have a black accent wall in our dining room so I’m really not sure he’s the one anymore.
.... what if he's right ??3 -
Motorsheen wrote: »CoffeeAndContour wrote: »Well he won’t agree that we should have a black accent wall in our dining room so I’m really not sure he’s the one anymore.
.... what if he's right ??
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Possibly because I became a cynical *kitten*. Still don’t wanna get married, I don’t think that formality is necessary. Plus when *kitten* goes south, which if you look at the statistics...it usually does it’s incredibly ugly from legal perspectives. But I must confess an admiration for those that do make it work and have happy families. Maybe one day, someone will change my mind2
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amorfati601070 wrote: »Possibly because I became a cynical *kitten*. Still don’t wanna get married, I don’t think that formality is necessary. Plus when *kitten* goes south, which if you look at the statistics...it usually does it’s incredibly ugly from legal perspectives. But I must confess an admiration for those that do make it work and have happy families. Maybe one day, someone will change my mind
I agree with all of this except the last sentence0 -
amorfati601070 wrote: »Possibly because I became a cynical *kitten*. Still don’t wanna get married, I don’t think that formality is necessary. Plus when *kitten* goes south, which if you look at the statistics...it usually does it’s incredibly ugly from legal perspectives. But I must confess an admiration for those that do make it work and have happy families. Maybe one day, someone will change my mind
It depends on the people. My divorce was easy. We divorced online. $300. Done. Granted, we had a short marriage, and never really combined anything. That was part of the reason for divorce. haha There was zero partnership. But it was amicable, we are still friendly (easy when living 3000 miles away from each other), and there were zero harsh words and/or ugly incidents.4 -
Cutemesoon wrote: »Because no one has asked me to. 🤷
What she said0 -
amorfati601070 wrote: »Possibly because I became a cynical *kitten*. Still don’t wanna get married, I don’t think that formality is necessary. Plus when *kitten* goes south, which if you look at the statistics...it usually does it’s incredibly ugly from legal perspectives. But I must confess an admiration for those that do make it work and have happy families. Maybe one day, someone will change my mind
It depends on the people. My divorce was easy. We divorced online. $300. Done. Granted, we had a short marriage, and never really combined anything. That was part of the reason for divorce. haha There was zero partnership. But it was amicable, we are still friendly (easy when living 3000 miles away from each other), and there were zero harsh words and/or ugly incidents.
Yeah, I agree tinak33. My divorce followed a 9.5 year marriage and we had real estate and investments and it was still just $500 (in-person attorney) because everything was agreed upon and fairly simple to divide. I was pretty annoyed with him but we never really "fought" and it was definitely an amicable divorce. After briefly working in a divorce attorney's office, I do think kids usually complicate matters and make any divorce FAR more expensive - but we didn't have kids.
Earlier in this thread, or maybe another recent marriage-related thread (sorry I'm not sure)...someone mentioned living together (without marriage) being great because you wake up every day knowing that person chooses to stay with you. It basically said that if you're not married, you have the choice every day to just leave with minimal complications. For most cohabiting couples, I don't think that is true at all. I think most (not all) couples who live together are somewhat tied in together whether financially, socially, or even just smaller things like a shared pet and/or lease. I think it's more similar to marriage in all senses, if not legally binding. I think most couples who live together have almost as hard a time splitting as a no kids divorce.3 -
I agree @seltzermint555. My roommate and I have lived together since 1999. We share no romantic relationship, but everything is jointly owned...vehicles, houses, etc. If we were to split, I'm sure it would be no different than a divorce when it comes down to dividing things up. Who buys whom out? Not to mention the 2 dogs who would freak out if separated because they are brothers. I could not split them up.3
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Motorsheen wrote: »CoffeeAndContour wrote: »Well he won’t agree that we should have a black accent wall in our dining room so I’m really not sure he’s the one anymore.
.... what if he's right ??
He isn’t.1 -
I really hate sharing bed.0
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corinasue1143 wrote: »I didn’t get married the second time because of the first time.
And I'm not getting married the third time, because of the other two times
This.. :laugh:1
https://youtu.be/2AXf5vjQV-w
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