You're not good enough..
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Tinydancer106 wrote: »This is one thread I've been circling and avoiding because Tinydancer doesn't want to open up her pot of Cray Cray ...since she will most likely never get the damn lid back on the way she likes it!🙄
The common message we can take from this thread is....we're not the only ones....and sometimes that's enough....it's not a solution and much of a consolation ..but we're not alone in our self doubt....self loathing....insecurities....and just plain *kitten* uppedness....its our quirk, our uniqueness that important to respect and nurture so that we can live to fight another day.👊
At least that's what I am taking away from it....it's comforting knowing you belong to a tribe of sorts...and even though I'll most likely never meet you ....I feel a sense of connection and understanding.....be it delusional or even wishful...and that helps me.💗
It's ok to vent and lament or if you're like me, smile, wave and fake it til you make it....just keep moving and not giving up....settle... don't settle ....just don't give up...because look around... we're all struggling and our struggles are very real.
Theres no contest to see who's baggage is bigger or badder... it all sucks if it makes us feel less....it's equal sucky baggage (ESB)
I love this thread because it's good to purge and better to be heard and comforted than remaining quiet and quitting.....amiright?!🤘🙋🏻♀️
Personally I feel for each and everyone of your stories and I honestly think I dig you more now....imagine that😉🤷🏻♀️💗
Free therapy rocks!!!🤘😎😘
I have always felt comfort when I see that “I’m
Not the only one”. I often know this to be true, but to actually see people you see post daily explain that they to feel not good enough, etc. is very comforting and helps one to feel like”hey, I fit in here!” And that’s a good feeling.5 -
pizzamyheart wrote: »Tinydancer106 wrote: »This is one thread I've been circling and avoiding because Tinydancer doesn't want to open up her pot of Cray Cray ...since she will most likely never get the damn lid back on the way she likes it!🙄
The common message we can take from this thread is....we're not the only ones....and sometimes that's enough....it's not a solution and much of a consolation ..but we're not alone in our self doubt....self loathing....insecurities....and just plain *kitten* uppedness....its our quirk, our uniqueness that important to respect and nurture so that we can live to fight another day.👊
At least that's what I am taking away from it....it's comforting knowing you belong to a tribe of sorts...and even though I'll most likely never meet you ....I feel a sense of connection and understanding.....be it delusional or even wishful...and that helps me.💗
It's ok to vent and lament or if you're like me, smile, wave and fake it til you make it....just keep moving and not giving up....settle... don't settle ....just don't give up...because look around... we're all struggling and our struggles are very real.
Theres no contest to see who's baggage is bigger or badder... it all sucks if it makes us feel less....it's equal sucky baggage (ESB)
I love this thread because it's good to purge and better to be heard and comforted than remaining quiet and quitting.....amiright?!🤘🙋🏻♀️
Personally I feel for each and everyone of your stories and I honestly think I dig you more now....imagine that😉🤷🏻♀️💗
Free therapy rocks!!!🤘😎😘
I have always felt comfort when I see that “I’m
Not the only one”. I often know this to be true, but to actually see people you see post daily explain that they to feel not good enough, etc. is very comforting and helps one to feel like”hey, I fit in here!” And that’s a good feeling.
Our tribe rocks🤗😎🤘💓0 -
Tinydancer106 wrote: »This is one thread I've been circling and avoiding because Tinydancer doesn't want to open up her pot of Cray Cray ...since she will most likely never get the damn lid back on the way she likes it!🙄
The common message we can take from this thread is....we're not the only ones....and sometimes that's enough....it's not a solution and much of a consolation ..but we're not alone in our self doubt....self loathing....insecurities....and just plain *kitten* uppedness....its our quirk, our uniqueness that important to respect and nurture so that we can live to fight another day.👊
At least that's what I am taking away from it....it's comforting knowing you belong to a tribe of sorts...and even though I'll most likely never meet you ....I feel a sense of connection and understanding.....be it delusional or even wishful...and that helps me.💗
It's ok to vent and lament or if you're like me, smile, wave and fake it til you make it....just keep moving and not giving up....settle... don't settle ....just don't give up...because look around... we're all struggling and our struggles are very real.
Theres no contest to see who's baggage is bigger or badder... it all sucks if it makes us feel less....it's equal sucky baggage (ESB)
I love this thread because it's good to purge and better to be heard and comforted than remaining quiet and quitting.....amiright?!🤘🙋🏻♀️
Personally I feel for each and everyone of your stories and I honestly think I dig you more now....imagine that😉🤷🏻♀️💗
Free therapy rocks!!!🤘😎😘
Baggage?
I have more baggage than Joan Collins on Safari.
5 -
Motorsheen wrote: »Tinydancer106 wrote: »This is one thread I've been circling and avoiding because Tinydancer doesn't want to open up her pot of Cray Cray ...since she will most likely never get the damn lid back on the way she likes it!🙄
The common message we can take from this thread is....we're not the only ones....and sometimes that's enough....it's not a solution and much of a consolation ..but we're not alone in our self doubt....self loathing....insecurities....and just plain *kitten* uppedness....its our quirk, our uniqueness that important to respect and nurture so that we can live to fight another day.👊
At least that's what I am taking away from it....it's comforting knowing you belong to a tribe of sorts...and even though I'll most likely never meet you ....I feel a sense of connection and understanding.....be it delusional or even wishful...and that helps me.💗
It's ok to vent and lament or if you're like me, smile, wave and fake it til you make it....just keep moving and not giving up....settle... don't settle ....just don't give up...because look around... we're all struggling and our struggles are very real.
Theres no contest to see who's baggage is bigger or badder... it all sucks if it makes us feel less....it's equal sucky baggage (ESB)
I love this thread because it's good to purge and better to be heard and comforted than remaining quiet and quitting.....amiright?!🤘🙋🏻♀️
Personally I feel for each and everyone of your stories and I honestly think I dig you more now....imagine that😉🤷🏻♀️💗
Free therapy rocks!!!🤘😎😘
Baggage?
I have more baggage than Joan Collins on Safari.
Time to break out the ruler I see...😎😁🤣🤗1 -
Tinydancer106 wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »Tinydancer106 wrote: »This is one thread I've been circling and avoiding because Tinydancer doesn't want to open up her pot of Cray Cray ...since she will most likely never get the damn lid back on the way she likes it!🙄
The common message we can take from this thread is....we're not the only ones....and sometimes that's enough....it's not a solution and much of a consolation ..but we're not alone in our self doubt....self loathing....insecurities....and just plain *kitten* uppedness....its our quirk, our uniqueness that important to respect and nurture so that we can live to fight another day.👊
At least that's what I am taking away from it....it's comforting knowing you belong to a tribe of sorts...and even though I'll most likely never meet you ....I feel a sense of connection and understanding.....be it delusional or even wishful...and that helps me.💗
It's ok to vent and lament or if you're like me, smile, wave and fake it til you make it....just keep moving and not giving up....settle... don't settle ....just don't give up...because look around... we're all struggling and our struggles are very real.
Theres no contest to see who's baggage is bigger or badder... it all sucks if it makes us feel less....it's equal sucky baggage (ESB)
I love this thread because it's good to purge and better to be heard and comforted than remaining quiet and quitting.....amiright?!🤘🙋🏻♀️
Personally I feel for each and everyone of your stories and I honestly think I dig you more now....imagine that😉🤷🏻♀️💗
Free therapy rocks!!!🤘😎😘
Baggage?
I have more baggage than Joan Collins on Safari.
Time to break out the ruler I see...😎😁🤣🤗
You gunna spank him with it? 😜3 -
My parents always made me feel like I wasn’t good enough and they still do so I actually don’t talk to them much. Even if I had all As and one B, they would criticize me.
Same. My mum is gone now but I can still hear her criticisms in my head. So for many years I picked partners who repeated the pattern, because that was what "fit" my self schema, and of course that just reinforced the negative feelings.
I have done the same. I have been a people
pleaser and even a pushover in the past. As a result, I have been a magnet for narcissists. I only recently became aware of this and am trying to do better now.
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CanesGalactica wrote: »pizzamyheart wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »I don't feel I am doing anything worthwhile with my life. I don't socialize, most of my friends have abandoned me (despite saying they would never do so) or they live very, very far away. I'm active with my son's activities and Cub Scouts, but I can't consider any of those people friends.. not to mention some of them constantly want to bring drama in where it's not needed, which I really, REALLY try to avoid.
I just feel like an absolute failure. This is not what I wanted to do with my life, but I am forever stuck.
I think this is part of having children and being a mom. It feels to me that the dad doesn’t give stuff up and get lost as much as Mother’s do. Maybe they do, I’m not trying to say one is harder than the other. I’m just saying that as a mom I am stuck because I do kid stuff, don’t have my ole friends anymore, don’t have the energy to make new friends, don’t necessarily like the other parents in cub scouts or soccer, so it’s like I’m stuck for now, living my life for everyone else. With people I don’t even necessarily like. Because I have to.
100%. I gave up pretty much everything. Add on top of that that I moved away from everything familiar for my husband's job and still do, I never really wanted children and I am stuck being a solo parent quite a lot of the time and I never have any worthwhile prospects any place we move because jobs that are flexible are not forthcoming anywhere I live.
Making friends is next to impossible because I move every three years and honestly? I've been burned too many times for putting myself out there. Also, LOL. I am a committee chair and den leader for our local pack and I agree with you. I don't necessarily agree with or get cozy with most of the parents. Some of the other leaders and parents are alright, but a lot of them expect way too much for a group of volunteers who all have their own lives.
we found a house we liked for our family. we had no idea what the people in the neighbourhood were like. we were stuck in a terrible house before we moved here and were desperate with a baby to find peace and quiet.
we ended up finding ourselves in an area where people are incredibly materialistic and have no sense of being a civil and even tempered neighbour. i don't like any of the women on my street as they are all stepford wives with designer cars and clothes and are completely unapproachable. even when my kids were little i made few friends here, because my way of thinking does not obviously jive with theirs.
i was very gregarious in highschool and university, and even until i got sick. i will say that i find a lot of people very fickle and untrustworthy. i have 3 good friends and frankly that is good enough for me. i don't have time for superficiality anymore. life is too short.
i think inherently you probably know what i am talking about?4 -
I always feel I'm failing at something. My family place enormous pressure on me to succeed and I feel guilty for not always meeting their expectations.
I was bullied from as young an age as I can remember, right up until I left school, and so find it difficult to believe anyone actually likes me.
My ex often told me no one would ever love me so, over the course of ten years, that obviously affected my self esteem and self worth.
I'm working on looking to myself for validation and not others.
From where I'm sitting, I see an intelligent, insightful, warm, successful & gorgeous lady with a wonderful sense of humor .
Obviously, your ex was just spiteful or a moron ( maybe both).3 -
@Nooneknows21 wrote: »I feel sorry for the people who know me and have to look at me.
I don't.
I like your Bitmoji.2 -
Motorsheen wrote: »I always feel I'm failing at something. My family place enormous pressure on me to succeed and I feel guilty for not always meeting their expectations.
I was bullied from as young an age as I can remember, right up until I left school, and so find it difficult to believe anyone actually likes me.
My ex often told me no one would ever love me so, over the course of ten years, that obviously affected my self esteem and self worth.
I'm working on looking to myself for validation and not others.
From where I'm sitting, I see an intelligent, insightful, warm, successful & gorgeous lady with a wonderful sense of humor .
Obviously, your ex was just spiteful or a moron ( maybe both).
🤗🤗1 -
Yep. Try the dating world as a fat girl, it's really really bad for your self esteem. Like, I know I have a good personality and I have most my shiit together but every time a dating situation doesn't work out or go anywhere, I just know it's because I'm not hot enough. Like there is always gonna be someone better out there so they think that I'm not worthy enough of investing time in.
Hot is relative and if someone's only interested in your "hotness" then they're not worth wasting your time with. The only relationships that work are ones that go beyond the shallow and ephemeral layers of our looks and to who we truly are. Once you find that person who sees you as you, you'll realise why it never worked with anyone else.
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I have worked my way up into a job where all of my coworkers have college degrees and I do not. I do twice as much work as all of them because I feel like that’s how I make up for not having a degree. Im always the first person at work and never call in sick like a lot of them do on a weekly basis. Not bragging and just trying to explain my situation but I am the top performer there but still feel like I’m not good enough because of the college degree.8
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Many people have college degrees and learnt jack-schitt. The ability to do what you do counts more than a piece of paper to show some studying off in the distant past. Keep on rocking it @PruneJuice2point0!
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Because of the cruel, strange family doctor I had as a child, I spent most of my teen & young adult years (actually...til my mid 30s) believing I wasn't good enough for regular medical treatment. He berated me (and my mom) about my weight and was horrible to me. In addition to causing some phobias and other issues, this made me think that I needed to be thin or "normal" in order to take proper care of my health. It's sad, but I didn't start consistently seeing a doctor for preventative medical treatment & tests until after I'd lost a LOT of weight and this is why. Every story someone shared about their doctor saying they needed to lose x number of pounds was one more reason I wouldn't go, even when I was sick.
Another big change...I always felt inferior to other employees at work who were fitter, or had degrees in the area of my job. Even though I have always been a good employee and do have a degree, I've usually worked in other fields. Finally now in my early forties, I've come to see that I offer a lot in the workplace and I've started asking for raises and such...15 or even 10 years ago, I think I felt that I wasn't good enough and didn't fit as well in the professional world (weight being one of several reasons). It's taken a long time to get over that and finally I'm proud of my position and compensation. I honestly never thought I would reach this point. I am shocked and pleased with how much things have changed, honestly.7 -
seltzermint555 wrote: »Because of the cruel, strange family doctor I had as a child, I spent most of my teen & young adult years (actually...til my mid 30s) believing I wasn't good enough for regular medical treatment. He berated me (and my mom) about my weight and was horrible to me. In addition to causing some phobias and other issues, this made me think that I needed to be thin or "normal" in order to take proper care of my health. It's sad, but I didn't start consistently seeing a doctor for preventative medical treatment & tests until after I'd lost a LOT of weight and this is why. Every story someone shared about their doctor saying they needed to lose x number of pounds was one more reason I wouldn't go, even when I was sick.
Another big change...I always felt inferior to other employees at work who were fitter, or had degrees in the area of my job. Even though I have always been a good employee and do have a degree, I've usually worked in other fields. Finally now in my early forties, I've come to see that I offer a lot in the workplace and I've started asking for raises and such...15 or even 10 years ago, I think I felt that I wasn't good enough and didn't fit as well in the professional world (weight being one of several reasons). It's taken a long time to get over that and finally I'm proud of my position and compensation. I honestly never thought I would reach this point. I am shocked and pleased with how much things have changed, honestly.
I'm so happy that you have come to realize your worth girl!👊❤....and I'm so sorry to hear about that atrocious quack you had to deal with early on....but look at you now chica!!! ❤...seriously made me smile🤗😁2 -
Thank you tinydancer106!! That's very sweet.1
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Nope I’m not good enough, I’m over weight still and have along way to go. According to current standard I’m an ugly pos6 -
DonutEatThat wrote: »I'm worried I'm not good enough to be a parent. I'm pregnant with my first and I have no *kitten* clue what I'm doing. My anxiety is kicking in and I'm terrified I'm going to be awful at it. My mom has said many times she thinks she's a bad mom and didn't want kids and my sister is a horribly selfish parent to her son so what if it's genetic and I'm exactly like them?
I have 4 and I think the best advice is to just spend time with them. It is hard to remember but my kids are happiest when I make sure my phone is away, TV is off and I am just wrestling or running around with them. You got this. Have fun with it! Good luck3
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