Feeling unattractive?

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Replies

  • Svanel
    Svanel Posts: 6,255 Member
    I used to struggle with self image/self esteem and it's still an issue from time to time. Some days I feel like a god and other days not so much. But I realized that for me personally the things I don't like about myself, whether physical or mental are things that I have the power to change.

    The more I exercise and stay on course the more I generally feel better about myself. Other people's opinions on how I look are starting to mean less and less to me because to be honest most people can and will find any reason not to like you, if it's wasn't your looks it would be something else really trivial.

    There was a point i meant to make but now I think I'm just rambling.

    But to end this comment, sometimes you just gotta look in the mirror, tell yourself you're the *kitten* and there's no one else like you on earth, and keep it moving.


    love, thanks for the insight!
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    Svanel wrote: »
    moya_bleh wrote: »
    5ft 8, grey hair, ugly face, not shredded enough, single for four years and counting. Unattractive? I genuinely hate myself and I am 100% ashamed of myself for the way I look and the effect that my appearance has on women.

    i don't see it. you're very attractive! don't see being single as a bad thing - do things that you otherwise would not do. i've been single now for 2 years. i don't miss the drama of a relationship. i do miss the hugs and the intimacy perhaps. but i love that i can be me and no one can say otherwise. if i have a bad day i have a bad day. i can call friends and talk or i can go for a long drive and get out of this town.

    Re5pext
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    edited October 2016
    moya_bleh wrote: »
    5ft 8, grey hair, ugly face, not shredded enough, single for four years and counting. Unattractive? I genuinely hate myself and I am 100% ashamed of myself for the way I look and the effect that my appearance has on women.

    I don't want to say the wrong thing. You look fit and attractive to me. Most people like gray hair on men. I have gray hair. Started turning white haired at 18. I'm not dying it anymore. I suspect it's your own self worth that's causing you issues. It sounds to me like you have BDD. When your self image disrupts your life. And 5'8" isn't short to petite woman. Still bigger than me.
  • Cerealsensei
    Cerealsensei Posts: 1,625 Member
    Svanel wrote: »
    I used to struggle with self image/self esteem and it's still an issue from time to time. Some days I feel like a god and other days not so much. But I realized that for me personally the things I don't like about myself, whether physical or mental are things that I have the power to change.

    The more I exercise and stay on course the more I generally feel better about myself. Other people's opinions on how I look are starting to mean less and less to me because to be honest most people can and will find any reason not to like you, if it's wasn't your looks it would be something else really trivial.

    There was a point i meant to make but now I think I'm just rambling.

    But to end this comment, sometimes you just gotta look in the mirror, tell yourself you're the *kitten* and there's no one else like you on earth, and keep it moving.


    love, thanks for the insight!

    anytime, trying to spread positive vibes across the globe
  • Svanel
    Svanel Posts: 6,255 Member
    united1974 wrote: »
    i genuinely feel for anyone who feels that badly about themselves.

    Have any of you ever been truly confident in yourselves? regardless of what you look like? i have/am. if i dont love myself a bit, who else will, without having a tinge of pity with their love? No one wants that.

    That's my current journey. Learning to love who I am, be happy in my own skin, sorta thing. It's been hard but I am learning to just like being me. So far so good :)
  • Svanel
    Svanel Posts: 6,255 Member
    oh you like? yes, i figure it'll grow on me a few years or so. But who cares? The world will just have to adjust! ;)
  • sw33tp3a_1
    sw33tp3a_1 Posts: 795 Member
    I have my days. But today ain't one of them :)
  • DeficitDuchess
    DeficitDuchess Posts: 3,099 Member
    edited October 2016
    Yeah yesterday but by my own standards, that I've set for myself; no 1 else's! While I've gotten rid of enough weight, to accomplish my 1st goal; I didn't gain the satisfaction of documenting it photographically!
  • lenalovestofish
    lenalovestofish Posts: 80 Member
    My bf cheated on me I guess that probably contributes to me feeling like I'm no good
  • daedae171
    daedae171 Posts: 247 Member
    Eh, I still feel unattractive most days. I know I'm not, but my self esteem isn't always completely there.
  • drivennightrunner87
    drivennightrunner87 Posts: 302 Member
    edited November 2016
    daedae171 wrote: »
    Eh, I still feel unattractive most days. I know I'm not, but my self esteem isn't always completely there.

    Me too...i thought losing weight would guarantee finding someone/a relationship (it even motivated me to keep jogging laps)...but i'm still alone with stretch marks to boot //:
  • Svanel
    Svanel Posts: 6,255 Member
    daedae171 wrote: »
    Eh, I still feel unattractive most days. I know I'm not, but my self esteem isn't always completely there.

    Me too...i thought losing weight would guarantee finding someone/a relationship (it even motivated me to keep jogging laps)...but i'm still alone with stretch marks to boot //:

    i think everyone has stretch marks - if they don't atm, they prob most likely will in the future
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    My bf cheated on me I guess that probably contributes to me feeling like I'm no good

    Been there. Take a long time to realize that it has nothing to do with you and doesn't define you in any way. However, it does define them.

    All the best.
  • aneedforchange
    aneedforchange Posts: 75 Member
    So many beautiful ladies that have such low self esteem.. it's disheartening :(
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    Unattractive?

    I reckon that I look like 5 pounds of *kitten* crammed into a 3 pound sack, then ridden hard and put away wet.




    ..... and that's on a good day.
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  • WinWamboh
    WinWamboh Posts: 19 Member
    Its a sad reality,,,, we all feel unattractive at some point if not almost always,,,,truth is if we see someone better looking than ourselves in any aspect,,,,insecurities come knocking. Also people around us ,,,close to us may be the cause. Its easier said than done but true appreciation of one self comes from within,,,don't wait for people's approval. Surround yourself with positive energy n start by loving yourself.... No one will ever love you more than you can love yourself,,,, start with YOU.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    WinWamboh wrote: »
    Its a sad reality,,,, we all feel unattractive at some point if not almost always,,,,truth is if we see someone better looking than ourselves in any aspect,,,,insecurities come knocking. Also people around us ,,,close to us may be the cause. Its easier said than done but true appreciation of one self comes from within,,,don't wait for people's approval. Surround yourself with positive energy n start by loving yourself.... No one will ever love you more than you can love yourself,,,, start with YOU.

    I think I like you. Mad Re5pext.

    ...... wise beyond her years
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    I can't believe so many people can think like this. I have never had this feeling. Even in my fattest days. Do any of you have any ounce of ego?! Damn you!

    As to the OP, I am sure others have told you. You look attractive. Your bf cheating on you does not have to do with how you look. There is a ton of factors involved. Don't sweat it. Don't let it define your future years and relatioships.

    Example, look at Tiger Woods. Totally gorgeous wife. His mistresses - some of them look so ugly that ....

    Turns out Tiger loved deviant sex and is a sex addict. A woman like his wife, she is not going to weird herself down like a prostitute. Some women are not raised/socialized that way.

    It also has to do with emotions. Arnold Schwar... had a secret life with his housekeeper for years. His wife is a Kennedy and is probably more arrogant and reserved. And he found comfort and love with his housekeeper though it goes against marriage vows.

    I had a coworker. She is blond and looks like Margot Robbie and is a top class dresser. Her husband was banging Asian women in the city. She found out and was crushed. Not her fault at all. Her husband found a new fetish.

    Point is - people cheat for the weirdest of reasons. No need to bring your self-esteem down for it.

    I think maybe you owe Tiger's girlfriends an apology.....

    Us Kennedys too.
  • WinWamboh
    WinWamboh Posts: 19 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    WinWamboh wrote: »
    Its a sad reality,,,, we all feel unattractive at some point if not almost always,,,,truth is if we see someone better looking than ourselves in any aspect,,,,insecurities come knocking. Also people around us ,,,close to us may be the cause. Its easier said than done but true appreciation of one self comes from within,,,don't wait for people's approval. Surround yourself with positive energy n start by loving yourself.... No one will ever love you more than you can love yourself,,,, start with YOU.

    I think I like you. Mad Re5pext.

    ...... wise beyond her years

    Thank you..... ☺
  • StarBonfireBeachSexMeYou
    StarBonfireBeachSexMeYou Posts: 1 Member
    edited November 2016
    @AashenReykar
    As much as we hear or would like to believe that other people's words and actions can't hurt us unless we let them, it's simply not always true. Most of the time it's who we love or who is supposed to love us, that hurt us the most. There is no love without pain. No growth without struggle. But we all make the choice how we treat others, what kind of ripple we help create. Unfortunately, as much as I'd like to believe all of it, sometimes I feel it's okay to let myself give in to the constriction.
    "If I can ease one life the aching"
    - Emily Dickinson
    I guess it'll be a wash...
  • Grey_1
    Grey_1 Posts: 1,139 Member
    Feeling unattractive....nah.

    I find lots of freedom in acknowledging I'm one step removed from a sasquatch lol. No false expectations :D
  • I can't believe so many people can think like this. I have never had this feeling. Even in my fattest days. Do any of you have any ounce of ego?! Damn you!

    As to the OP, I am sure others have told you. You look attractive. Your bf cheating on you does not have to do with how you look. There is a ton of factors involved. Don't sweat it. Don't let it define your future years and relatioships.

    Example, look at Tiger Woods. Totally gorgeous wife. His mistresses - some of them look so ugly that ....

    Turns out Tiger loved deviant sex and is a sex addict. A woman like his wife, she is not going to weird herself down like a prostitute. Some women are not raised/socialized that way.

    It also has to do with emotions. Arnold Schwar... had a secret life with his housekeeper for years. His wife is a Kennedy and is probably more arrogant and reserved. And he found comfort and love with his housekeeper though it goes against marriage vows.

    I had a coworker. She is blond and looks like Margot Robbie and is a top class dresser. Her husband was banging Asian women in the city. She found out and was crushed. Not her fault at all. Her husband found a new fetish.

    Point is - people cheat for the weirdest of reasons. No need to bring your self-esteem down for it.

    I find it hilarious that in this entire egotistical monologue you manage to tell women that their husbands don't cheat because of how they look, but it's still their fault because they won't 'weird themselves down like a prositute' or because they're 'probably arrogant and reserved'. It reads like a self-help book penned by a reclusive 14 year old boy.
    People cheat primarily because we all fear death.
  • amethystskycg
    amethystskycg Posts: 35 Member
    I have good days and bad days. I still hate to be in pictures.
  • tenwolves13
    tenwolves13 Posts: 5 Member
    Always felt a little insecure but now even more so since I turned 40 and gained some pounds. Trying to at least shes the pounds.
  • let_me_clip_dirty_wings
    let_me_clip_dirty_wings Posts: 2,910 Member
    edited November 2016
    Wait, what?!?! Feeling unattractive is a bad thing?!?! How else are we supposed to develop our minds and personalities?!?!
    #ChessIsBetterThanCheckers
    #TongueInCheek
  • Grey_1
    Grey_1 Posts: 1,139 Member
    Wait, what?!?! Feeling unattractive is a bad thing?!?! How else are we supposed to develop our minds and personalities?!?!
    #ChessIsBetterThanCheckers

    I like it :)

    While appearance is important in certain contexts, hopefully there's some depth behind the looks.
  • fitmomness
    fitmomness Posts: 6 Member
    Married since 1997 to brianbgboy :o
  • tbright1965
    tbright1965 Posts: 852 Member
    Looking back on my High School pictures, I don't understand why I felt unattractive then.

    Looking at current pictures compared to some of those same classmates from many decades ago, I feel pretty good :)
  • J_NY_Z
    J_NY_Z Posts: 2,540 Member
    Every day that ends in "Y"