We broke up because...
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Pushed me off the swings and ran away0
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she took up a job as the receptionist at a nudist colony0
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Nudity offended him. He even showered fully clothed!0
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We parted ways bc they were made out of paper and not plastic0
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Her fur made me itch1
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He kept talking about his ex0
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She tried to poison me with some broccoli, I hate broccoli.0
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He didn't like cheese on his broccoli0
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She farted in her sleep.0
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He pooped the bed0
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She kept scratching her butt on my rug like a dog.0
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He kept making snort sounds like a pig0
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She told her friend about our bedroom activity and now she is calling me non stop0
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He dreams too much0
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When she laughed juice would come out of her nose. So disgusting..1
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When he laughed he would shart himself0
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He always eats bacon...nothing else0
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She didn't like the foot long dogs.0
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He only had the small.hot dogs1
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She wasn't flexible enough0
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He was so flexible I started wondering0
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She wouldn't wear her ankles as ear rings. I mean come on, try it out.0
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He would wear his ankles as earrings0
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She couldn't do a split, sent my imagination right out the window.0
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he could only get aroused when Amazon Alexa was talking in the room1
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He had something against people watching0
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he referred to installing hidden cameras in public bathrooms as people watching2
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He thought he was a celebrity and was paranoid everyone was filming him.0
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Every week, She would get her hand stuck in the Pringle’s can0
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