Guess whats in my pocket?
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My sock0
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A sock puppet named Murray that she puts on her hand, feels herself up and loudly says "Ohhhh Murray, you Scoundrel!"1
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a small spiral notebook in which he has written his most favorite romance novel phrases. His favorites are "her quivering mounds" and "his volcanic eruption".0
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Her latest job performance review crumpled into a ball. Her Supervisor wrote "Spends entirely too much time talking about butts". Beside his signature, she drew a butt.0
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Corn on the cob.. for a snack attack0
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A cornless cob for a phallus attack1
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An eyepatch. Oftentimes he will put it on and whenever someone asks about it he'll say he lost his eye when he was constipated and pushed "a little too hard".0
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The resin encased left eye of a man named Bernie that she met during a drunken night in Saskatoon. Its the only thing she has left of him anymore, after his ears deteriorated anyway. She still chuckles when she looks into it and sighs.."Oh, Bernie"0
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An RFID chip recently pulled from a neighborhood fox. Trackers are now wondering how a fox could go 60mph and why the fox feels the need to visit Hooters everyday around 6pm.0
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A piece of fur. He likes to tell people its from a rare wolf he saw in his back yard. We all know its actually lint from his dryer but we like him so we humor him.0
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Hot pocket0
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A wrapper from a fortune cookie they found on the street, a torn dollar and some cookie crumbs.0
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Sunflower seeds and 3 paperclips chained together0
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This content has been removed.
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A 🥓 bacon wrapped wallet
Haha my son had one!0 -
A geriatric hamster named Mr. Sniffykins0
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A little crutch made out of two toothpicks glued together to give to Mr. Sniffykins one day.0
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Dollar bills0
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A rubberband0
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A rubber chicken shes carried for years. One day....one day itll pay off0
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Two drops of steak juice inside a small whiskey jar. He calls it, Essence of Medium Rare.0
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Six drops of skunk juice inside a small spray bottle.. it's labelled "go away"0
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a small scrap of paper with nothing written on it. Its all crumpled up though, and when she wants to feel important she will pull it out, pretend to read it, and say loudly, "Ah-ha!! Thats just what I thought!".0
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A foam finger used at sporting events turned inside out.0
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An old rubber band. He claims it belonged to Rupaul, but this fact is unsubstantiated.0
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A plastic thumb, for when they day is just too much. She sucks on it for relaxation.0
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also a plastic relaxation tool. However, it is not a thumb. It slightly resembles one though.1
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A chart, specifically for the purpose of difficult situations. She pulls the chart out of her pocket. Throws it over her shoulder, far behind her, and yells, "Now we are in uncharted territory!"1
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A limp French fry. He likes to pull it out and give it motivational speeches during lunch break.0
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Pandemonium_ wrote: »A geriatric hamster named Mr. Sniffykins
Bahahahahhaa0
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