What's on your mind?

1127012711273127512762148

Replies

  • ArmyVeteranM1A1C
    ArmyVeteranM1A1C Posts: 1,045 Member
    Camping

    1sjxgzeyhkl4.png
    7r6xn6ctcwsg.png
  • Reckoner68
    Reckoner68 Posts: 2,139 Member
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Someone I can't forget even though they hurt me and have decided I am not worthwhile enough to be in their life. Our friendship/companionship/sexual liaison apparently meant more to me than it did them. I wish I could forget, but I find that I cannot. I dwell on the lost connection often.. as I do with so many others that have left, abandoned or hurt me (emotionally) in the past.

    Why am I like this? Who knows.

    P.S. The raccoon above me is quite charming. Super cute.

    ++ for raccoons. My childhood buddy had one as a pet, “Rambo.” He was cool.

    I get the lost connections thing. I don’t connect with people easily so when I do and lose that, it takes me forever (if that’s even long enough) to let it go. It’s sucks. Sorry you’re wrestling with old memories :/

    Yeah, it's been a few years since we last talked. I get why they avoid me, but it still hurts. It's like being slapped across the face and being told that you're pond scum or that you're a bad person somehow for being authentic for how you felt about someone.

    I understand that from their perspective, I am avoided for their mental health as I could not provide what was needed, but still.. it kinda sucks. And that seems to be a pattern in my life regardless of what I try or how I may attempt to amend it. It all just.. falls apart.

    A lot of my darkest days revolve around the realization of what knowing me “well” seems to do to people that get close to me. I try not to dwell on that aspect cause it’s a pretty deep and dark spiral that’s tough to get away from, but sometimes the thoughts go that route.

    I tell myself that it isn’t true, even if it feels that way most times
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Camping

    1sjxgzeyhkl4.png
    7r6xn6ctcwsg.png

    Beautiful 5th wheeler..
  • ArmyVeteranM1A1C
    ArmyVeteranM1A1C Posts: 1,045 Member
    Camping

    1sjxgzeyhkl4.png
    7r6xn6ctcwsg.png

    Beautiful 5th wheeler..

    Thanks, my safe place ;)
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Someone I can't forget even though they hurt me and have decided I am not worthwhile enough to be in their life. Our friendship/companionship/sexual liaison apparently meant more to me than it did them. I wish I could forget, but I find that I cannot. I dwell on the lost connection often.. as I do with so many others that have left, abandoned or hurt me (emotionally) in the past.

    Why am I like this? Who knows.

    P.S. The raccoon above me is quite charming. Super cute.

    ++ for raccoons. My childhood buddy had one as a pet, “Rambo.” He was cool.

    I get the lost connections thing. I don’t connect with people easily so when I do and lose that, it takes me forever (if that’s even long enough) to let it go. It’s sucks. Sorry you’re wrestling with old memories :/

    Yeah, it's been a few years since we last talked. I get why they avoid me, but it still hurts. It's like being slapped across the face and being told that you're pond scum or that you're a bad person somehow for being authentic for how you felt about someone.

    I understand that from their perspective, I am avoided for their mental health as I could not provide what was needed, but still.. it kinda sucks. And that seems to be a pattern in my life regardless of what I try or how I may attempt to amend it. It all just.. falls apart.

    A lot of my darkest days revolve around the realization of what knowing me “well” seems to do to people that get close to me. I try not to dwell on that aspect cause it’s a pretty deep and dark spiral that’s tough to get away from, but sometimes the thoughts go that route.

    I tell myself that it isn’t true, even if it feels that way most times

    What do you do when all your days are dark? There are never "light" days for me anymore. Haven't been since I was 18.
  • amorfati601070
    amorfati601070 Posts: 2,890 Member
    Boomers, so glad that meme went mainstream.
  • Reckoner68
    Reckoner68 Posts: 2,139 Member
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Someone I can't forget even though they hurt me and have decided I am not worthwhile enough to be in their life. Our friendship/companionship/sexual liaison apparently meant more to me than it did them. I wish I could forget, but I find that I cannot. I dwell on the lost connection often.. as I do with so many others that have left, abandoned or hurt me (emotionally) in the past.

    Why am I like this? Who knows.

    P.S. The raccoon above me is quite charming. Super cute.

    ++ for raccoons. My childhood buddy had one as a pet, “Rambo.” He was cool.

    I get the lost connections thing. I don’t connect with people easily so when I do and lose that, it takes me forever (if that’s even long enough) to let it go. It’s sucks. Sorry you’re wrestling with old memories :/

    Yeah, it's been a few years since we last talked. I get why they avoid me, but it still hurts. It's like being slapped across the face and being told that you're pond scum or that you're a bad person somehow for being authentic for how you felt about someone.

    I understand that from their perspective, I am avoided for their mental health as I could not provide what was needed, but still.. it kinda sucks. And that seems to be a pattern in my life regardless of what I try or how I may attempt to amend it. It all just.. falls apart.

    A lot of my darkest days revolve around the realization of what knowing me “well” seems to do to people that get close to me. I try not to dwell on that aspect cause it’s a pretty deep and dark spiral that’s tough to get away from, but sometimes the thoughts go that route.

    I tell myself that it isn’t true, even if it feels that way most times

    What do you do when all your days are dark? There are never "light" days for me anymore. Haven't been since I was 18.

    I don’t honestly know. I’m working with therapy and meds, even lookin into EMDR. Wish I had some good answers but it feels like I’m kinda finding my way through a dark maze with all of this. Been feeling pretty good lately which has been great, but this has been a good time for me every year for the past two or three and if traditions hold I’m gonna hate everything come January/February. I just keep trying, tho my own predilection toward sadness kinda works against me, too
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Camping

    1sjxgzeyhkl4.png
    7r6xn6ctcwsg.png

    Beautiful 5th wheeler..

    Thanks, my safe place ;)

    I have a caravan that is mine 🙂
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Someone I can't forget even though they hurt me and have decided I am not worthwhile enough to be in their life. Our friendship/companionship/sexual liaison apparently meant more to me than it did them. I wish I could forget, but I find that I cannot. I dwell on the lost connection often.. as I do with so many others that have left, abandoned or hurt me (emotionally) in the past.

    Why am I like this? Who knows.

    P.S. The raccoon above me is quite charming. Super cute.

    ++ for raccoons. My childhood buddy had one as a pet, “Rambo.” He was cool.

    I get the lost connections thing. I don’t connect with people easily so when I do and lose that, it takes me forever (if that’s even long enough) to let it go. It’s sucks. Sorry you’re wrestling with old memories :/

    Yeah, it's been a few years since we last talked. I get why they avoid me, but it still hurts. It's like being slapped across the face and being told that you're pond scum or that you're a bad person somehow for being authentic for how you felt about someone.

    I understand that from their perspective, I am avoided for their mental health as I could not provide what was needed, but still.. it kinda sucks. And that seems to be a pattern in my life regardless of what I try or how I may attempt to amend it. It all just.. falls apart.

    A lot of my darkest days revolve around the realization of what knowing me “well” seems to do to people that get close to me. I try not to dwell on that aspect cause it’s a pretty deep and dark spiral that’s tough to get away from, but sometimes the thoughts go that route.

    I tell myself that it isn’t true, even if it feels that way most times

    What do you do when all your days are dark? There are never "light" days for me anymore. Haven't been since I was 18.

    I don’t honestly know. I’m working with therapy and meds, even lookin into EMDR. Wish I had some good answers but it feels like I’m kinda finding my way through a dark maze with all of this. Been feeling pretty good lately which has been great, but this has been a good time for me every year for the past two or three and if traditions hold I’m gonna hate everything come January/February. I just keep trying, tho my own predilection toward sadness kinda works against me, too

    Ah. Therapy never really worked for me. I have tried before.

    Happy that it's working for you, though! :heart:

    And yeah, it kinda seems like my "on" mode is permanently set to "sad".
  • Reckoner68
    Reckoner68 Posts: 2,139 Member
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Someone I can't forget even though they hurt me and have decided I am not worthwhile enough to be in their life. Our friendship/companionship/sexual liaison apparently meant more to me than it did them. I wish I could forget, but I find that I cannot. I dwell on the lost connection often.. as I do with so many others that have left, abandoned or hurt me (emotionally) in the past.

    Why am I like this? Who knows.

    P.S. The raccoon above me is quite charming. Super cute.

    ++ for raccoons. My childhood buddy had one as a pet, “Rambo.” He was cool.

    I get the lost connections thing. I don’t connect with people easily so when I do and lose that, it takes me forever (if that’s even long enough) to let it go. It’s sucks. Sorry you’re wrestling with old memories :/

    Yeah, it's been a few years since we last talked. I get why they avoid me, but it still hurts. It's like being slapped across the face and being told that you're pond scum or that you're a bad person somehow for being authentic for how you felt about someone.

    I understand that from their perspective, I am avoided for their mental health as I could not provide what was needed, but still.. it kinda sucks. And that seems to be a pattern in my life regardless of what I try or how I may attempt to amend it. It all just.. falls apart.

    A lot of my darkest days revolve around the realization of what knowing me “well” seems to do to people that get close to me. I try not to dwell on that aspect cause it’s a pretty deep and dark spiral that’s tough to get away from, but sometimes the thoughts go that route.

    I tell myself that it isn’t true, even if it feels that way most times

    What do you do when all your days are dark? There are never "light" days for me anymore. Haven't been since I was 18.

    I don’t honestly know. I’m working with therapy and meds, even lookin into EMDR. Wish I had some good answers but it feels like I’m kinda finding my way through a dark maze with all of this. Been feeling pretty good lately which has been great, but this has been a good time for me every year for the past two or three and if traditions hold I’m gonna hate everything come January/February. I just keep trying, tho my own predilection toward sadness kinda works against me, too

    Ah. Therapy never really worked for me. I have tried before.

    Happy that it's working for you, though! :heart:

    And yeah, it kinda seems like my "on" mode is permanently set to "sad".

    One of the most real epiphanies I had in the last twelve months wasrealizing I was addicted to sadness. I dunno if it’s cause I can “feel” it but there’s a draw to it. In small doses, it’s strange how it can make me feel good...but then if I sit there too long, it becomes overwhelming. Learning to live with that has been tough but illuminating
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Someone I can't forget even though they hurt me and have decided I am not worthwhile enough to be in their life. Our friendship/companionship/sexual liaison apparently meant more to me than it did them. I wish I could forget, but I find that I cannot. I dwell on the lost connection often.. as I do with so many others that have left, abandoned or hurt me (emotionally) in the past.

    Why am I like this? Who knows.

    P.S. The raccoon above me is quite charming. Super cute.

    ++ for raccoons. My childhood buddy had one as a pet, “Rambo.” He was cool.

    I get the lost connections thing. I don’t connect with people easily so when I do and lose that, it takes me forever (if that’s even long enough) to let it go. It’s sucks. Sorry you’re wrestling with old memories :/

    Yeah, it's been a few years since we last talked. I get why they avoid me, but it still hurts. It's like being slapped across the face and being told that you're pond scum or that you're a bad person somehow for being authentic for how you felt about someone.

    I understand that from their perspective, I am avoided for their mental health as I could not provide what was needed, but still.. it kinda sucks. And that seems to be a pattern in my life regardless of what I try or how I may attempt to amend it. It all just.. falls apart.

    A lot of my darkest days revolve around the realization of what knowing me “well” seems to do to people that get close to me. I try not to dwell on that aspect cause it’s a pretty deep and dark spiral that’s tough to get away from, but sometimes the thoughts go that route.

    I tell myself that it isn’t true, even if it feels that way most times

    What do you do when all your days are dark? There are never "light" days for me anymore. Haven't been since I was 18.

    I don’t honestly know. I’m working with therapy and meds, even lookin into EMDR. Wish I had some good answers but it feels like I’m kinda finding my way through a dark maze with all of this. Been feeling pretty good lately which has been great, but this has been a good time for me every year for the past two or three and if traditions hold I’m gonna hate everything come January/February. I just keep trying, tho my own predilection toward sadness kinda works against me, too

    Ah. Therapy never really worked for me. I have tried before.

    Happy that it's working for you, though! :heart:

    And yeah, it kinda seems like my "on" mode is permanently set to "sad".

    One of the most real epiphanies I had in the last twelve months wasrealizing I was addicted to sadness. I dunno if it’s cause I can “feel” it but there’s a draw to it. In small doses, it’s strange how it can make me feel good...but then if I sit there too long, it becomes overwhelming. Learning to live with that has been tough but illuminating

    I'm not addicted to it, but I just seem unable to escape it... if that makes sense at all.
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Someone I can't forget even though they hurt me and have decided I am not worthwhile enough to be in their life. Our friendship/companionship/sexual liaison apparently meant more to me than it did them. I wish I could forget, but I find that I cannot. I dwell on the lost connection often.. as I do with so many others that have left, abandoned or hurt me (emotionally) in the past.

    Why am I like this? Who knows.

    P.S. The raccoon above me is quite charming. Super cute.

    ++ for raccoons. My childhood buddy had one as a pet, “Rambo.” He was cool.

    I get the lost connections thing. I don’t connect with people easily so when I do and lose that, it takes me forever (if that’s even long enough) to let it go. It’s sucks. Sorry you’re wrestling with old memories :/

    Yeah, it's been a few years since we last talked. I get why they avoid me, but it still hurts. It's like being slapped across the face and being told that you're pond scum or that you're a bad person somehow for being authentic for how you felt about someone.

    I understand that from their perspective, I am avoided for their mental health as I could not provide what was needed, but still.. it kinda sucks. And that seems to be a pattern in my life regardless of what I try or how I may attempt to amend it. It all just.. falls apart.

    A lot of my darkest days revolve around the realization of what knowing me “well” seems to do to people that get close to me. I try not to dwell on that aspect cause it’s a pretty deep and dark spiral that’s tough to get away from, but sometimes the thoughts go that route.

    I tell myself that it isn’t true, even if it feels that way most times

    What do you do when all your days are dark? There are never "light" days for me anymore. Haven't been since I was 18.

    I don’t honestly know. I’m working with therapy and meds, even lookin into EMDR. Wish I had some good answers but it feels like I’m kinda finding my way through a dark maze with all of this. Been feeling pretty good lately which has been great, but this has been a good time for me every year for the past two or three and if traditions hold I’m gonna hate everything come January/February. I just keep trying, tho my own predilection toward sadness kinda works against me, too

    Ah. Therapy never really worked for me. I have tried before.

    Happy that it's working for you, though! :heart:

    And yeah, it kinda seems like my "on" mode is permanently set to "sad".

    One of the most real epiphanies I had in the last twelve months wasrealizing I was addicted to sadness. I dunno if it’s cause I can “feel” it but there’s a draw to it. In small doses, it’s strange how it can make me feel good...but then if I sit there too long, it becomes overwhelming. Learning to live with that has been tough but illuminating

    Do you find yourself listening to sad, depressing songs often?
  • happimess01
    happimess01 Posts: 9,074 Member
    IslandGal3 wrote: »
    Lack of sleep. I'll be riding the struggle bus today.
    My Dad wants to run errands. Somebody bring me a gallon of coffee.

    Permission to come aboard your struggle bus? Running on 4 hours of sleep here
  • Chillidude
    Chillidude Posts: 58 Member
    Monday meh 😑
  • happimess01
    happimess01 Posts: 9,074 Member
    IslandGal3 wrote: »
    IslandGal3 wrote: »
    Lack of sleep. I'll be riding the struggle bus today.
    My Dad wants to run errands. Somebody bring me a gallon of coffee.

    Permission to come aboard your struggle bus? Running on 4 hours of sleep here

    Bring coffee, and donuts.

    done and done 😴
  • Reckoner68
    Reckoner68 Posts: 2,139 Member
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Someone I can't forget even though they hurt me and have decided I am not worthwhile enough to be in their life. Our friendship/companionship/sexual liaison apparently meant more to me than it did them. I wish I could forget, but I find that I cannot. I dwell on the lost connection often.. as I do with so many others that have left, abandoned or hurt me (emotionally) in the past.

    Why am I like this? Who knows.

    P.S. The raccoon above me is quite charming. Super cute.

    ++ for raccoons. My childhood buddy had one as a pet, “Rambo.” He was cool.

    I get the lost connections thing. I don’t connect with people easily so when I do and lose that, it takes me forever (if that’s even long enough) to let it go. It’s sucks. Sorry you’re wrestling with old memories :/

    Yeah, it's been a few years since we last talked. I get why they avoid me, but it still hurts. It's like being slapped across the face and being told that you're pond scum or that you're a bad person somehow for being authentic for how you felt about someone.

    I understand that from their perspective, I am avoided for their mental health as I could not provide what was needed, but still.. it kinda sucks. And that seems to be a pattern in my life regardless of what I try or how I may attempt to amend it. It all just.. falls apart.

    A lot of my darkest days revolve around the realization of what knowing me “well” seems to do to people that get close to me. I try not to dwell on that aspect cause it’s a pretty deep and dark spiral that’s tough to get away from, but sometimes the thoughts go that route.

    I tell myself that it isn’t true, even if it feels that way most times

    What do you do when all your days are dark? There are never "light" days for me anymore. Haven't been since I was 18.

    I don’t honestly know. I’m working with therapy and meds, even lookin into EMDR. Wish I had some good answers but it feels like I’m kinda finding my way through a dark maze with all of this. Been feeling pretty good lately which has been great, but this has been a good time for me every year for the past two or three and if traditions hold I’m gonna hate everything come January/February. I just keep trying, tho my own predilection toward sadness kinda works against me, too

    Ah. Therapy never really worked for me. I have tried before.

    Happy that it's working for you, though! :heart:

    And yeah, it kinda seems like my "on" mode is permanently set to "sad".

    One of the most real epiphanies I had in the last twelve months wasrealizing I was addicted to sadness. I dunno if it’s cause I can “feel” it but there’s a draw to it. In small doses, it’s strange how it can make me feel good...but then if I sit there too long, it becomes overwhelming. Learning to live with that has been tough but illuminating

    Do you find yourself listening to sad, depressing songs often?

    I do, a lot of my favorites are kinda sad
  • ghudson92
    ghudson92 Posts: 2,061 Member
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    Pizza. I'm going for pizza tonight and it has been all I can think about.

    I get this, very much

    Just under two hours to go now.
  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    Pizza. I'm going for pizza tonight and it has been all I can think about.

    I get this, very much

    Just under two hours to go now.

    Pineapple on your pizza? 👀
  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    Pizza. I'm going for pizza tonight and it has been all I can think about.

    I get this, very much

    Just under two hours to go now.

    Pineapple on your pizza? 👀

    492x3spvzsb9.gif

    Oh hey I didn't see you there 😂
    I've bet you've never even fried egg on your burger 😏
  • ghudson92
    ghudson92 Posts: 2,061 Member
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    Pizza. I'm going for pizza tonight and it has been all I can think about.

    I get this, very much

    Just under two hours to go now.

    Pineapple on your pizza? 👀
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    Pizza. I'm going for pizza tonight and it has been all I can think about.

    I get this, very much

    Just under two hours to go now.

    Pineapple on your pizza? 👀

    I actually love pineapple on pizza but it's a proper Italian so probably wont be available 😥
  • bourbon_n_barbells
    bourbon_n_barbells Posts: 425 Member
    ghudson92 wrote: »

    I actually love pineapple on pizza but it's a proper Italian so probably wont be available 😥

    I also love pineapple on pizza! :)
  • isalsayourface123
    isalsayourface123 Posts: 2,153 Member
    Naps
  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
    edited November 2019
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    Pizza. I'm going for pizza tonight and it has been all I can think about.

    I get this, very much

    Just under two hours to go now.

    Pineapple on your pizza? 👀

    492x3spvzsb9.gif

    Oh hey I didn't see you there 😂
    I've bet you've never even fried egg on your burger 😏

    Oh, eggs on burgers are 😋 and you knew I was here 😂

    You know what, I actually made burgers this weekend... Although I'm not sure what compelled me to do so 🤔.

    But I call it "The Slippers Thief" 😂
    It just kinda came to me 🤷🏽‍♂️

    uplg67rkq75e.jpg
  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    Pizza. I'm going for pizza tonight and it has been all I can think about.

    I get this, very much

    Just under two hours to go now.

    Pineapple on your pizza? 👀
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    Pizza. I'm going for pizza tonight and it has been all I can think about.

    I get this, very much

    Just under two hours to go now.

    Pineapple on your pizza? 👀

    I actually love pineapple on pizza but it's a proper Italian so probably wont be available 😥

    Will you be mfp pizza buddy?
    We pineapple pizza people got to stick together ya know!
  • TarryTaffy
    TarryTaffy Posts: 883 Member
    Relocation... narrowed down to Sarasota, FL & surrounding area vs Scottsdale, AZ & surrounding area.
    Beach (yea!) & humidity (boo!) vs mountains (boo, nosebleeds!) vs dry heat (yea!).
    Lower COL by 30% & no state taxes (yea!) vs higher wages (yea!).
    1,100-mi commute (yea!) vs (2,500-ish or more mi, avoiding snowy mountain roads)... (STFrontDoor!)

    So...
    giphy.gif

    Tomorrow, I may toss it all & move across the street from the hotel.
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    I was going to bake up some fish, but the pizza pictures are making me want to make pizza now. Thanks.