WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MAY 2020
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KetoneKaren wrote: »
Jam is appealing!1 -
AZTeri2016 wrote: »Suzi Q - commenting on this:
Father Daughter Relationship – Lisa, like you I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had a better male influence in my life. But also realized I would be a much different person and I am happy with myself. When I think of my dad and how he handled things while mom and he were together I know he did what he knew and how he was trained. Each generation either continues on the same path as what was learned at an early age or grows and becomes better. Not everyone can look deep inside and see where they may be the issue or their minds close up to the unpleasantness they experienced so they cannot begin to know where their behavior stems. Oh, the mind is a wonderful and scary place!
I’be had this conversation with my sister who is estranged from our father. She holds him and our mother responsible for everything bad in her life, even though she’s probably the most successful and privileged one of the seven of us. She is angry (can you believe?) that my mother had 7 kids and PPD. She said she should have stopped. When pressed about when, needless to say she can’t/won’t answer. She’s #5. I can’t believe the anger that comes from her at times. When I said he did the best he could considering he grew up without a father, she said that’s no excuse. It’s so sad because Dad is 90 and certainly won’t be around much longer.
Teri - It's such a sad situation. The only one she is hurting is herself. She will never have the conversation she feels she needs. And, at your dad's age one has to realize society was not so "open", men were expected to be "men". And, who spoke about PPD??!! Women were just "hysterical" when they acted out of the norm.
In my very early twenties I made peace with everything and called my father up out of the blue. It was never a traditional type of father/daughter relationship, but I chose to let him in to my life because I did not want to wake up one day and say "what if". We were never able to fully communicate what I saw through my eyes as a child, but there was enough of those types of conversations that skirted around the topic. After a few years I realized we all do the best we know how to do at various times during our lives. When I look back there were countless things I should have handled differently and/or took a different path. It is up to us to accept and move forward. I know I am preaching to the choir!
There is some interesting reading regarding birth order. She may just be one of those "middle" kids who follows the traditional birth order attitude even though she is the most successful one. I think there is so much more to us than birth order and it is just one small piece of a dynamic that molds us.
I, like you, hope she can move beyond herself for her own sake. But know at her age that may not happen especially since it seems like she is a closed book on the topic.
Hugs to you!2 -
KetoneKaren wrote: »
Jam is appealing!
Apple butter.........0 -
Michelle - with so many counties in the great State of Florida I am really keeping it local. Here's a link where you can check down to the zip code.
https://experience.arcgis.com/experience/96dd742462124fa0b38ddedb9b25e429
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Machka - My vote is for the apple butter, too. (https://www.tastesoflizzyt.com/homemade-apple-butter/) You don't have to put nearly as much sweetener in as they show here; you can sweeten to taste once they're cooked. That way the apples don't have to be pretty. The reserve looks lovely.
Kim - That is just gorgeous! Love the entry, and love the non-mowable yard even more. Here, the ticks are so bad that any growth has to be cut as short as possible near the house, so I'm trying to figure out how to do pathways between flower or other beds all around the house. Probably won't happen until I'm retired. I want to see a picture of your garden!
Up nearly an hour and a half early this morning - storm rolled in overnight. We're just north of Fort Smith in the picture below, and the worst of it is nearly past. The thunder continues to roll, the ones you can feel in your chest--massive hammer blows of sound. Love thunder. Do not love it at 3 a.m., necessarily.
Later, y'all,
Lisa in AR, still yawning4 -
Lisa - I wish it was thunder that awakened me at 2:00 am! I hope I can make it through the day today......dentist appointment first thing this morning and then a full day of work. And, still T'ing G every day I have employment!2
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Kim, love the entryway to your natural garden. I wish more would promote 0 grass here.0
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iiiii0
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Glenda > Love the pics. Did you take them?
Good afternoon everyone (afternoon here) Finally dragged my butt out of bed and it looks quite nice outside. Going to make a omelette for dinner I think and try to change my eating some as I pretty much eat the same thing everday.
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend x
Tonya UK2 -
Morning, afternoon and evening all, once more,
Finished on the elliptical, which I enjoy so much more than the rower, which I'm using on the days in between. But it takes me so long to cool down longer each time. I'm hoping that means calories are a-burning. Probably just means I'm a sweaty old lady and getting sweatier. It's also possible that I just need to add in the three to five minutes of cool down time on the machine, which I seldom do, and it's possibly there for a reason. Ha!
Am in the midst of a mini, internal revolution against the "beat my last time" drive that I just can't seem to leave behind. My Fitbit died, and I chose not to replace it because it puts me into a space where, if the Fitbit didn't record it, then I didn't do it. I realized that is a path to obsession--something I struggle with in other ways and other times. I want to work out on the machines because my fitness matters to me, rather than so I can beat yesterday's time. I'll know I actually succeed when, rather than recording the time and the distance and the calories each day, I just put a checkmark. Haven't got there yet. Maybe when I get to that point, I'll be able to put the scale away. It would be a sea change of no small proportions.
Love y'all,
Lisa in AR
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hit a new personal best riding to work. all cuz i wanted to get warm... 14.8amph!3
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Lisa - I'm happy just to have 'got it done'. If I tried to beat my time I would soon get to the point when I wasn't enjoying it anymore. Some days are faster than others. I don't make a note of it, but I remember my PR for each machine and haven't been there for months. I really think, at this stage of my life, that it's a miracle I'm doing it at all! Just occasionally I get an urge for a HIIT, but that's not often. More important for me is to be moving. I do love the radio and tv programmes I listen to, so it's not a chore. Mind you, I spend at least 120 mins exercising in the morning and another 55 mins after lunch. I'm more interested in the calorie burn than anything, so that I can eat and drink.
Are you doing any weights? I do only about 10 mins a day, but it has made a difference. Plus the yoga type stuff that involves body weight.
I am a bit obsessed with doing the whole routine every day, with minor variations, so I am a bit OCD about it. But it is the thing in my life that enables every other thing in my life. Sine qua non. Eating, drinking, health, vanity, daily ease. Being able to move about the world with ease is huge for me. For years after the chemo daily life was a struggle. And vanity is a big factor.
Keep your eye on the prize! It's not about this second, or that second, it's about all over feeling good.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx who is just about to do some rowing.5 -
@Machka, you can probably find medical masks in pharmacies if they are not requisitioned for hospitals. Social distancing PLUS masks. Here in a major city it's impossible to go out on a normal path without crossing someone.
I had to go to doctors etc. Now they ask you to wear masks, and, sure enough, people not wearing masks on public transportation (once it opens again on monday) can be fined 135 euros!2 -
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i don't think i missed any personals, i just saw one from Machka! lol
semi deconfined for 3 trial weeks on Monday, after 2 months strict confinement.
won't have to self authorize going out the door anymore for at least 3 weeks and can go up to 100k without any justification (except we can't take public transport during rush hour if not going to work or some other major motivation). maybe i'll rent a car and go to a distant forest for a day. i dunno. much to tend to post confinement. so much was stopped and blocked.1 -
Lisa and Heather I keep track of everything and write it down. I keep track of time spent rather than calories burned. I like to see evidence of how active I have been. It encourages me and keeps me moving. I don't try to beat my best time or set any records. I record my weight first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Keeping these records reminds me that my weight and fitness are important. It works for me.
Tonya, I eat exactly the same thing every morning for breakfast. It saves me from extra "decision fatigue". I have a collection of meals and snacks that I rotate for my other meals. I have to eat every few hours but what I eat at each event is modest in size. My body can't handle the intermittent fasting that many on this thread are doing.
One of my line dance students called me yesterday. She and her husband have been in Florida for the winter to be near her mother who is in a nursing home. They weren't able to see her mother since early March. They flew home wearing masks, goggles, and gloves and were on day 10 of a self quarantine.
I don't know what is opening around here except for the car wash that is right outside the boundaries of my neighborhood and I can see it each morning while walking. Someone complained to me that she couldn't understand why a car wash was more "essential" than a hair salon, completely missing the point that it's about safe distancing, not how essential a business is. We don't plan to go anywhere even if things open up.
Today promises to be warm --69 F--and sunny. Could be a good time for a little more weeding and an extra walk.
Barbie in NW WA3 -
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