What's YOUR weakness when it comes to the opposite gender?

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Replies

  • Reckoner69_lmao
    Reckoner69_lmao Posts: 1,000 Member
    When she punches me in the dreams
  • brustmannzwei
    brustmannzwei Posts: 1,124 Member
    When she punches me in the dreams

    Like Bridget the midget using your “dreams” as a speed bag?

    Calling the ol’ twig and berries a dream is a new one for me.

    *Note to self, add to extensive vocabulary.
  • steph6556
    steph6556 Posts: 575 Member
    @brustmannzwei,

    “ He has also improved the effectiveness and efficiency of the shirt in numerous ways. Three such ways is by replacing the buttons with Velcro, removing the sleeves, and elongating the arm hole down to the bottom rib“😂🤣
    I haven’t had a laugh like that in a long time!! Technical or dirty I will appreciate everything you come up with. You gots talent
  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,285 Member
    steph6556 wrote: »
    @brustmannzwei is on a serious roll tonight between the threads I’ve read! This dude seriously needs to write some cheesy women’s romance bc he’s got skills

    @steph6556 I dunno. I’m more of a technical writer with an occasional dirty thought that I clean up and post here. If I did it would probably turn out to be something like this...

    Brustmannzwei response to RFP
    MFP Cheesy Women’s Romance Novel


    The respondents shall have an extensive vocabulary:
    Brustmannzwi has an extensive vocabulary of stupid, retarded, and made up words which he is proficient at weaving into thoughts and ideas. Most notable words include bewbs, breastisis, bottom buiscuits, metric butt ton, and waffle stomp.

    Brustmannzwi is also constantly improving his extensive vocabulary. For example, he’s recently decided that most women on MFP are Georgina Roses.

    The respondents shall use red, flannel, lumberjack shirts:
    Brustmannzwi is a subject matter expert (SME) with the use of red, flannel, lumberjack shirts. He is adept at the sizes, fit, and finish. He has also improved the effectiveness and efficiency of the shirt in numerous ways. Three such ways is by replacing the buttons with Velcro, removing the sleeves, and elongating the arm hole down to the bottom rib. These improvements resulted in measured improvements of a 94% efficiency in dressing and undressing the shirt, 82% less time donning the shirt due to shirt sleeves twist arm entanglement, and a 200% increase in trouser snake “boinginginging”.

    Past Performance:
    MFP user 255335 has attested to proper use and appreciation of the word “bewbs” by Brustmannzwi.

    He has received numerous light bulbs, smile faces, hitch hiking fingers, and hearts.

    The respondents shall explain all grouchy faces:
    Brustmannzwi occasionally receives grouchy faces but, they are statistically insignificant and can be attributed to accidental pressing because of where it is located on the screen. For the few grouchy faces that are intentional, they are wrong.

    MFP user 1009097687 (or whatever mine is) also appreciates "waffle stomp" and will now use the advanced search features to ensure she's read this story.

    Hope you win the RFP 🤞🏿
  • Reckoner69_lmao
    Reckoner69_lmao Posts: 1,000 Member
    Eyes
  • MiNinaLisa
    MiNinaLisa Posts: 648 Member
    Eyes

    how did i forget this?
  • brustmannzwei
    brustmannzwei Posts: 1,124 Member
    MaltedTea wrote: »
    steph6556 wrote: »
    @brustmannzwei is on a serious roll tonight between the threads I’ve read! This dude seriously needs to write some cheesy women’s romance bc he’s got skills

    @steph6556 I dunno. I’m more of a technical writer with an occasional dirty thought that I clean up and post here. If I did it would probably turn out to be something like this...

    Brustmannzwei response to RFP
    MFP Cheesy Women’s Romance Novel


    The respondents shall have an extensive vocabulary:
    Brustmannzwi has an extensive vocabulary of stupid, retarded, and made up words which he is proficient at weaving into thoughts and ideas. Most notable words include bewbs, breastisis, bottom buiscuits, metric butt ton, and waffle stomp.

    Brustmannzwi is also constantly improving his extensive vocabulary. For example, he’s recently decided that most women on MFP are Georgina Roses.

    The respondents shall use red, flannel, lumberjack shirts:
    Brustmannzwi is a subject matter expert (SME) with the use of red, flannel, lumberjack shirts. He is adept at the sizes, fit, and finish. He has also improved the effectiveness and efficiency of the shirt in numerous ways. Three such ways is by replacing the buttons with Velcro, removing the sleeves, and elongating the arm hole down to the bottom rib. These improvements resulted in measured improvements of a 94% efficiency in dressing and undressing the shirt, 82% less time donning the shirt due to shirt sleeves twist arm entanglement, and a 200% increase in trouser snake “boinginginging”.

    Past Performance:
    MFP user 255335 has attested to proper use and appreciation of the word “bewbs” by Brustmannzwi.

    He has received numerous light bulbs, smile faces, hitch hiking fingers, and hearts.

    The respondents shall explain all grouchy faces:
    Brustmannzwi occasionally receives grouchy faces but, they are statistically insignificant and can be attributed to accidental pressing because of where it is located on the screen. For the few grouchy faces that are intentional, they are wrong.

    MFP user 1009097687 (or whatever mine is) also appreciates "waffle stomp" and will now use the advanced search features to ensure she's read this story.

    Hope you win the RFP 🤞🏿

    Y’all are too kind. User 255335 is probably real, and not PFM, but I have no idea who it may be.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Mysterious and intriguing
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,510 Member
    Mysterious and intriguing

    ..... would you settle for obvious & predictable ??
  • honeybee__12
    honeybee__12 Posts: 15,688 Member
    stubble.......😉😜
  • Cards_Man
    Cards_Man Posts: 905 Member
    Non-stubble...
  • brustmannzwei
    brustmannzwei Posts: 1,124 Member
    Mysterious and intriguing

    Blond and sweet.
  • Cards_Man
    Cards_Man Posts: 905 Member
    The Makeup Selfies.....
  • hawkeye45_
    hawkeye45_ Posts: 812 Member
    When she's a bull and charges at every red flag she sees.
  • Miss_Chiev0us
    Miss_Chiev0us Posts: 1,592 Member
    When he can breathe out his ears :D

    😂
  • Reckoner69_lmao
    Reckoner69_lmao Posts: 1,000 Member
    When her safe word is unpronounceable
  • Miss_Chiev0us
    Miss_Chiev0us Posts: 1,592 Member
    When her safe word is unpronounceable

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  • CacoEther
    CacoEther Posts: 2,465 Member
    When her safe word is unpronounceable

    So close, mine is unintelligible
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,510 Member
    CacoEther wrote: »
    When her safe word is unpronounceable

    So close, mine is unintelligible

    that's an odd safe word...

    so many syllables
  • CacoEther
    CacoEther Posts: 2,465 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    CacoEther wrote: »
    When her safe word is unpronounceable

    So close, mine is unintelligible

    that's an odd safe word...

    so many syllables

    Easier to say than unpronounceable though
  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
    Safewords are for winers... I decide what's safe and not safe for you 😏
  • Miss_Chiev0us
    Miss_Chiev0us Posts: 1,592 Member
    Safewords are for winers... I decide what's safe and not safe for you 😏

    63tik9fpgtfc.gif
  • s131951
    s131951 Posts: 3,776 Member
    When she dresses like Whistler's Mother.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,510 Member
    Does not respect boundaries.
  • Miss_Chiev0us
    Miss_Chiev0us Posts: 1,592 Member
    Has no boundaries
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    Short black bob hairstyles and a witch’s hat. 😍
This discussion has been closed.