What's YOUR weakness when it comes to the opposite gender?

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  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,286 Member
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    steph6556 wrote: »
    @brustmannzwei is on a serious roll tonight between the threads I’ve read! This dude seriously needs to write some cheesy women’s romance bc he’s got skills

    @steph6556 I dunno. I’m more of a technical writer with an occasional dirty thought that I clean up and post here. If I did it would probably turn out to be something like this...

    Brustmannzwei response to RFP
    MFP Cheesy Women’s Romance Novel


    The respondents shall have an extensive vocabulary:
    Brustmannzwi has an extensive vocabulary of stupid, retarded, and made up words which he is proficient at weaving into thoughts and ideas. Most notable words include bewbs, breastisis, bottom buiscuits, metric butt ton, and waffle stomp.

    Brustmannzwi is also constantly improving his extensive vocabulary. For example, he’s recently decided that most women on MFP are Georgina Roses.

    The respondents shall use red, flannel, lumberjack shirts:
    Brustmannzwi is a subject matter expert (SME) with the use of red, flannel, lumberjack shirts. He is adept at the sizes, fit, and finish. He has also improved the effectiveness and efficiency of the shirt in numerous ways. Three such ways is by replacing the buttons with Velcro, removing the sleeves, and elongating the arm hole down to the bottom rib. These improvements resulted in measured improvements of a 94% efficiency in dressing and undressing the shirt, 82% less time donning the shirt due to shirt sleeves twist arm entanglement, and a 200% increase in trouser snake “boinginginging”.

    Past Performance:
    MFP user 255335 has attested to proper use and appreciation of the word “bewbs” by Brustmannzwi.

    He has received numerous light bulbs, smile faces, hitch hiking fingers, and hearts.

    The respondents shall explain all grouchy faces:
    Brustmannzwi occasionally receives grouchy faces but, they are statistically insignificant and can be attributed to accidental pressing because of where it is located on the screen. For the few grouchy faces that are intentional, they are wrong.

    MFP user 1009097687 (or whatever mine is) also appreciates "waffle stomp" and will now use the advanced search features to ensure she's read this story.

    Hope you win the RFP 🤞🏿
  • Reckoner69_lmao
    Reckoner69_lmao Posts: 1,000 Member
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    Eyes
  • MiNinaLisa
    MiNinaLisa Posts: 648 Member
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    Eyes

    how did i forget this?
  • brustmannzwei
    brustmannzwei Posts: 1,124 Member
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    MaltedTea wrote: »
    steph6556 wrote: »
    @brustmannzwei is on a serious roll tonight between the threads I’ve read! This dude seriously needs to write some cheesy women’s romance bc he’s got skills

    @steph6556 I dunno. I’m more of a technical writer with an occasional dirty thought that I clean up and post here. If I did it would probably turn out to be something like this...

    Brustmannzwei response to RFP
    MFP Cheesy Women’s Romance Novel


    The respondents shall have an extensive vocabulary:
    Brustmannzwi has an extensive vocabulary of stupid, retarded, and made up words which he is proficient at weaving into thoughts and ideas. Most notable words include bewbs, breastisis, bottom buiscuits, metric butt ton, and waffle stomp.

    Brustmannzwi is also constantly improving his extensive vocabulary. For example, he’s recently decided that most women on MFP are Georgina Roses.

    The respondents shall use red, flannel, lumberjack shirts:
    Brustmannzwi is a subject matter expert (SME) with the use of red, flannel, lumberjack shirts. He is adept at the sizes, fit, and finish. He has also improved the effectiveness and efficiency of the shirt in numerous ways. Three such ways is by replacing the buttons with Velcro, removing the sleeves, and elongating the arm hole down to the bottom rib. These improvements resulted in measured improvements of a 94% efficiency in dressing and undressing the shirt, 82% less time donning the shirt due to shirt sleeves twist arm entanglement, and a 200% increase in trouser snake “boinginginging”.

    Past Performance:
    MFP user 255335 has attested to proper use and appreciation of the word “bewbs” by Brustmannzwi.

    He has received numerous light bulbs, smile faces, hitch hiking fingers, and hearts.

    The respondents shall explain all grouchy faces:
    Brustmannzwi occasionally receives grouchy faces but, they are statistically insignificant and can be attributed to accidental pressing because of where it is located on the screen. For the few grouchy faces that are intentional, they are wrong.

    MFP user 1009097687 (or whatever mine is) also appreciates "waffle stomp" and will now use the advanced search features to ensure she's read this story.

    Hope you win the RFP 🤞🏿

    Y’all are too kind. User 255335 is probably real, and not PFM, but I have no idea who it may be.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,440 Member
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    Mysterious and intriguing
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,492 Member
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    Mysterious and intriguing

    ..... would you settle for obvious & predictable ??
  • honeybee__12
    honeybee__12 Posts: 15,688 Member
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    stubble.......😉😜
  • Cards_Man
    Cards_Man Posts: 905 Member
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    Non-stubble...
  • brustmannzwei
    brustmannzwei Posts: 1,124 Member
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    Mysterious and intriguing

    Blond and sweet.
  • Cards_Man
    Cards_Man Posts: 905 Member
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    The Makeup Selfies.....
  • hawkeye45_
    hawkeye45_ Posts: 812 Member
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    When she's a bull and charges at every red flag she sees.
  • Miss_Chiev0us
    Miss_Chiev0us Posts: 1,592 Member
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    When he can breathe out his ears :D

    😂
  • Reckoner69_lmao
    Reckoner69_lmao Posts: 1,000 Member
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    When her safe word is unpronounceable
  • Miss_Chiev0us
    Miss_Chiev0us Posts: 1,592 Member
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    When her safe word is unpronounceable

    54wf5cz5lv8i.gif
  • CacoEther
    CacoEther Posts: 2,465 Member
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    When her safe word is unpronounceable

    So close, mine is unintelligible
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,492 Member
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    CacoEther wrote: »
    When her safe word is unpronounceable

    So close, mine is unintelligible

    that's an odd safe word...

    so many syllables
  • CacoEther
    CacoEther Posts: 2,465 Member
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    Motorsheen wrote: »
    CacoEther wrote: »
    When her safe word is unpronounceable

    So close, mine is unintelligible

    that's an odd safe word...

    so many syllables

    Easier to say than unpronounceable though
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