Immediate Gratification
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Start seeing yourself doing the things you want to do and do all of them on your own terms. See yourself actually putting on those new clothes. That's not a bunch of hippy dippy happy horsesheet. Without a vision you may edge up against your dream weight and fitness goals but bounce right off of them with just a glancing blow. It's the vision that will keep you there for the rest of your life.
Dig down to the roots and find the deeper reasons for doing all of this or none of it will stick.
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Maybe I'm missing something here, but honestly, I think I kind of don't delay gratification, mostly.
If I'm hungry, and it isn't almost time for a meal, I usually eat something small and satiating, quite soon. While losing, I had single-serve shelf-stable protein-y snacks in the car for just this purpose. I've also bought a hard-boiled egg or string cheese or something for the same reason. I'm personally worse off if I let perceived hunger (true hunger or not 😆) keep growing. If I give it a li'l jolt of gratification, it tends to hop back on its shelf and stop bugging me.
I guess my strategies are more like:
* having small stuff around as a go to, because it's that first couple of bites that are the most gratifying hedonically anyway (lately I'm liking individually-wrapped good chocolate at about 45 calories, dried fruit in small amounts, string cheese, Kind minis, and crispy broad beans, but the list changes over time),
and
* being a little bit conscious of considering whether I'm really hungry vs. just bored or some other thing that should be addressed more directly.
If I'm hungry and it is almost time for a meal, I'd probably start planning it. If I'm at home, I'd maybe even start cooking it. Sometimes when I get a meal, my first move is to cut up some carrots or wash some cherry tomatoes, or something like that, and start snacking on that while I cook.
Hedonism is one of my bigger personal obstacles, but experience tells me I'm better off - I'm happier and it actually *works* *better* - if I game it, rather than try to fight it.
@AnnPT77 I am also in the camp of gratifying my hunger with a "li'l jolt" of something satiating to keep it in its rightful place. 🤗3 -
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Diatonic12 wrote: »1. Food
"With 37.7% of Americans suffering from obesity and chronic diseases, delayed gratification, and the implications of fast food culture are of utmost concern (Shuval, 2016). The American Cancer Society has linked time constraints and the lack of forward-thinking to the decrease of healthy, home-prepared food intake.
It requires considerable effort to override the instant gratification and satiating food that is readily available.
Peak performance takes an extreme delay of gratification. Someone who wants to get healthy has to view themselves in a personal peak state instead of seeing themselves as someone who might be featured on the cover of a magazine.
Healthy food intake requires eating a smaller slice of cake, once in a while, instead of ingesting the whole cake. Food habits add up quickly, and a healthy lifestyle will always serve someone better than a quick fix or fad diet."
https://positivepsychology.com/delayed-gratification/
I feel like this mythologizes the difficulty somewhat, puts it on a pedestal, implies an unnecessary level of drama.
For me, low drama is essential. (For others, high drama (the epic battle) may be motivating: Have at, and welcome - do what *you* need.)
l know we all differ, and I respect that others vary from me, have had bigger challenges, psychologically or logistically. But a thing that surprised me, was that weight loss was much easier (once that switch flipped to "committed" in my brain) than I had built it up to be, in my mind. Small steps. manageable changes that add up to results, with patience, over time. (Yup, the reward is deferred, in a meta sense - short term, the goal is the process. (Love Kimny's post at https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/disattle)cussion/10662287/the-goal-is-the-process/p1).
At goal, I felt kind of stupid for not doing it sooner, especially given the big payoff.
Reading that I have to be "in a peak state of performance" and have "an extreme delay of gratification" and that it will "require considerable effort" . . . that would make me feel tired before I even start. Stack that on top of all the blog-fog about how 80% of people regain (or whatever that big percent is), how calorie counting can't work, the importance of superfoods, the need for HIIT or other arcane intense exercise, the carb restrictions and fasting that are necessary, the hormones that will make my body try to defeat me, . . . and on and on and on?
Sounds impossible. Why try? It can be easier than that: Maybe that's a "lucky few" thing, I have no subjective way of knowing.
Personalization: Vital, IMO.9 -
lately when I felt Mr. Hunger coming on I would write down the time and say ok let's see how long you last Mister, well I never would write down when it went away cause I would just get distracted and just doing that instead of reaching for food did it for me
this is mostly the case on the few days I have fasted the entire day, the other thing is I always have a glass of water around and sip, chug, drink it all the time in between meals
also if I really want something like Pistachios I just go ahead and get some but only as much as will fit in the palm of my hand, and yes I go for it and grab as many as I can, ha ha, but that's it, never eat out of the bag - and that's it that's my snack, if I want apple pie, that's tomorrow, kapish
at 48 I am done with Work Hard Play Hard, now I don't shove that food in my mouth in the first place cause I know I can't run it off, I have bad knees
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https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26563536/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31276712/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12095190/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17056407/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25999872/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24281612/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30216595/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24597441/
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The short-run self strives for immediate gratification. The long-run self reflects the long-term consequences of unhealthy behavior on health outcomes and longevity.
There's only choices and consequences. Immediate gratification doesn't work for me and it never did.
Our mileage will always vary. I'm going to keep looking way on down the road.2 -
But a thing that surprised me, was that weight loss was much easier (once that switch flipped to "committed" in my brain) than I had built it up to be, in my mind. Small steps. manageable changes that add up to results, with patience, over time. (Yup, the reward is deferred, in a meta sense - short term, the goal is the process. (Love Kimny's post at https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/disattle)cussion/10662287/the-goal-is-the-process/p1).
At goal, I felt kind of stupid for not doing it sooner, especially given the big payoff.
This! And then working out a strategy for continuing a lifestyle that keeps you (=me) there. I've been thinking as I read the amazing range of posts here at mfp that for me this journey is increasingly about finding an approach that befriends both my body and my appetites, rather than trying to control them strictly or punish them. That for me is also about practising restraint, so perhaps the befriending metaphor doesn't quite work, but I hope you can see what I am getting at. If I love my (non-existent) child I need to restrain that child from doing certain things sometimes without being over-controlling. It's the same with my appetites.2 -
Immediate Gratification doesn't apply only to food. It affects every area of your life.
It's the bait. There are decisions made on impulse with a strong desire for immediate gratification that will cost you for the rest of your life. Instant gratification can be the loss of something greater in the future. It's the rush of the hit. It's convenient but it can hold you back from reaching your goals.
How much of your weekly progress are you willing to give up. You choose. You decide.
Watch the urges and you'll know where your treasure lies. It feels good in the moment but short-term fixes don't fix long-term problems.
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I pre-log for the day. I decide what treats I really want today that I'd like to fit in - Enlightened ice cream? An avocado/cacao brownie? More nuts? Grilled cheese? - and then I put those in along with everything else that will give me a well-balanced day. Then I start removing items that put me over the limit - aiming at keeping the healthier items there rather than ALL the treats I'm in the mood for. Having this structure - I'm going to have ice cream this afternoon, something to look forward to! - has worked really well for me to avoid cravings because there's always something to look forward to. And I do try to save an evening snack unless the calories for the day just don't permit it so that I can end with something and thus still have something to look forward to even after dinner. So logging and the app have really made a difference for me in sticking to my daily limit, knowing that I have scheduled treats for each day.7
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@mylittlerainbow Those are great decisions and I like your approach.0
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something I am working on right now is finishing chewing what is in my mouth before I shovel another load in my mouth, I can blame many things for my speed eating, raising small kids, the military, etc, but really just chew your food, when you first start consciously chewing your food, you will catch yourself trying to swallow before it is really chewed up, and then you'll go wait a minute I can still break it down into smaller pieces, this in turn translates to longer eating times so you are really enjoying your food longer, and that can make a smaller meal last longer like a much oversized one would have in the past
there are many benefits to this, helps digest the food better, you actually taste what you are eating, rather than swallowing it, ha ha8 -
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Diatonic12 wrote: »That emotional hit of happiness that hits you when eat without delay. What tools have you used to slow things down and keep your head engaged?
Patience and compassion...1 -
Diatonic12 wrote: »Immediate Gratification doesn't apply only to food. It affects every area of your life.
It's the bait. There are decisions made on impulse with a strong desire for immediate gratification that will cost you for the rest of your life. Instant gratification can be the loss of something greater in the future. It's the rush of the hit. It's convenient but it can hold you back from reaching your goals.
How much of your weekly progress are you willing to give up. You choose. You decide.
Watch the urges and you'll know where your treasure lies. It feels good in the moment but short-term fixes don't fix long-term problems.
Read a long term study a while back. I'll see if I can find it. Basically, what it found is the most important predictor of success in a career was not intelligence, looks, sex or education. It was the ability to put off/forego instant gratification.
That's why when parents never tell kids no, it's tantamount to child abuse.
https://psychcentral.com/news/2018/09/05/delaying-gratification-among-top-predictors-of-financial-success/138438.html4 -
@MikePfirrman Boom! You've hit the nail square on the head. I hope you can find that study.
@muszyngr and me, we're friends, too.1 -
MikePfirrman wrote: »Diatonic12 wrote: »Immediate Gratification doesn't apply only to food. It affects every area of your life.
It's the bait. There are decisions made on impulse with a strong desire for immediate gratification that will cost you for the rest of your life. Instant gratification can be the loss of something greater in the future. It's the rush of the hit. It's convenient but it can hold you back from reaching your goals.
How much of your weekly progress are you willing to give up. You choose. You decide.
Watch the urges and you'll know where your treasure lies. It feels good in the moment but short-term fixes don't fix long-term problems.
Read a long term study a while back. I'll see if I can find it. Basically, what it found is the most important predictor of success in a career was not intelligence, looks, sex or education. It was the ability to put off/forego instant gratification.
That's why when parents never tell kids no, it's tantamount to child abuse.
https://psychcentral.com/news/2018/09/05/delaying-gratification-among-top-predictors-of-financial-success/138438.html
“Early pain for long term gain…”
-Matthew McConaughey
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LoveyChar - trust me it's not just your husband. I think it's a male thing and as you said it is so frigging annoying.
Mine would cut the cheese and leave it out - when asked his reply would be I am coming back.
Guess what sometimes the cheese would stay out all night - same for the milk and other things
I reached the stage now where I just put them away just to keep my stress levels low
Don't ask him to make a salad - everything is taken out of the fridge scattered on the counter - add to that all of the dirty dishes just to make a salad.
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Diatonic12 wrote: »@mylittlerainbow Those are great decisions and I like your approach.
Me too, now if I could only adhere to such a sensible plan.
But then Ms. Immediate Gratification jumps in and messes it all up. So not only do I now have the calories of planned foods but also the extra foods I didn't think I could live without.
I'm in the camp of 'life is short, eat dessert first'.
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Thanks, Mike.
https://psychcentral.com/news/2018/09/05/delaying-gratification-among-top-predictors-of-financial-success/138438.html
"If you want your child to grow up to earn a good salary, consider instilling in them the importance of passing on smaller, immediate rewards in favor of larger ones that they have to wait for.”
It's not only about food. This translates over into every area of your life.3
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