Less Alcohol - NOVEMBER 2020 - One Day at a Time
Replies
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@lilylady3k I am envious you can have such discussions about alcohol with your husband. I may never reach that point with mine, sigh.
Good thought on the intro page. I have been contemplating doing something with it for for a while. It used to be much much LONGER, but I removed all the pictures that came with the vidieo links.
In October I dropped the intro page all together and no one asked where it was. Which was silently funny to me.
Here is my idea.
To put up the short intro page when the thread is created down to and including how to use our thread information.
Then there are 9 or 10 other seperate resources and helpful tip categories left. I can post them separately at different times randomly. As you say, and I concur, that the extremely long first post can bog down a reader.
Thanks for the input
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Keeping up with my 90 day weighted workout. This is the 4th week of the the 1st CD, next week I move onto another CD for another month. YAY another "purpose" to get the heck out of that bed in the morning. Cooler weather tends to keep me under the covers for longer than I wish to be there.
If our state begins to shut down again because of to many covid cases then it will not be such a shock as it was in March and April. I have my workouts to look forward to and turning the spare bedroom into a crafting area to get away from the noise of the TV.
Getting my 🦆 🦆 🦆 in a row.
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@lilylady3k I am envious you can have such discussions about alcohol with your husband. I may never reach that point with mine, sigh.
Good thought on the intro page. I have been contemplating doing something with it for for a while. It used to be much much LONGER, but I removed all the pictures that came with the vidieo links.
In October I dropped the intro page all together and no one asked where it was. Which was silently funny to me.
Here is my idea.
To put up the short intro page when the thread is created down to and including how to use our thread information.
Then there are 9 or 10 other seperate resources and helpful tip categories left. I can post them separately at different times randomly. As you say, and I concur, that the extremely long first post can bog down a reader.
Thanks for the input
There may also be another way of dealing with it. Create a separate one time Less Alcohol Tips and Resource Thread in M&S. Then the only thing you would need to do each month is have the intro, using our thread with a link to the resource thread, and if you want an inspirational idea/quote for the month.5 -
@MissMay These discussions about alcohol are interesting with DH. He wants to cut back and knows in his heart that he is headed or is an alcoholic. He does not want to be like his dad. But then the stress, boredom and anxiety get to him and he uses the glass as a crutch. Also after 1 he loses all willpower to stop at 2. He has trouble leaving wine in an open bottle or opening a 2nd or 3rd. Me stopping and pouring my wine in his glass this last week has been a recognition trigger ... here have mine ... don't open another bottle. It worked.
Also like this past week when I'm around both DH and my sister they both are trying to pour me wine or the next glass. I'm not sure how @MissMay pours the drink down the sink when your DH pours you an unexpected drink. I do like a nice glass of very good wine ... just trying to no longer drink 3-6 glasses in an evening. Made 2 my new limit this fall
OKAY my plan for the upcoming days. I have a physical with blood work on Wednesday 11/18. I had previously mentioned that I don't want to drink the night before which is DH's birthday and wait until our anniversary Thursday 11/19. DH reminded me of that this morning when I said I wanted to limit it to 1 glass for his birthday. So he said let's go for none and wait for our anniversary!
Also I told him because of the blood work I do not want any alcohol ... the one exception is the Friday evening of the viewing of my step father before the Sat graveside when we are in a small town in Arkansas at the hotel. He said he would try to support me and we would see.7 -
I am Dawn and live in South East British Columbia. I am 60.
My goal remains the same as it has been for quite some time, 16-20 AF days per month.
I check in diary style. It works for me.
Tuesday Nov 10 - Drinks. Seemingly back to making Tuesdays my drinks day.
Rolling total. 7AF day out of 10 days6 -
Success at home on Tuesday with DH being AF along with me. 2nd time for him. YAY I say.
My goal today is to not bring any attention to it. Maybe Thurs morning I will ask him if we're doing AF again today. I would love to see him get to 2 AF days this week, but need to keep my mouth shut for now. So hard!
@Lilylady3k, I appreciate your inspirational post about not giving up! For me this will be a forever thing, along with exercise, nutrition, sleep, stress management. Part of normal "maintenance" we all need to stay happy and healthy.
@MissMay just sharing one opinion here, and I am totally cool with how you want to proceed, but I would say that putting too much information upfront may turn off the "borderline" people needing help. I'm talking about all the functional people out there in denial. Proper marketing is needed for them and I wish I knew the best answer.
It would be nice if the system would have a place for reference docs that people could be directed to...
Also thinking that we here have pretty much stuck through this and have had successes if we look at it from a trend perspective....but it's because we have things in common, similar age ranges, female, etc. Long term it would be really nice to have a separate group for men or maybe even younger folks in 20s and 30s. Perhaps those could be the demographics needing the most help?
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I definitely treat this as a challenge, and I like long streaks of straight sobriety. I need the support less and less, though...I am getting more goal focused and it helps...
I can definitely attest to what @globalhiker said, maybe a group for the younger people. I'm only in my early forties with younger children and I stick around because this is it, there isn't another group to go to, but I don't always feel so welcome. I'm not in the sixties something or older age trying to down it from three drinks a day to two. I do like long streaks of sobriety, as all of our less goals should be respected. My goals are very different. People my age post once or twice here, rarely more, and then drop off the face of the earth around here and I can completely understand why! So yes, @globalhiker has a very valid, logical point or suggestion!2 -
@loveychar that saddens me that you don't always feel welcome. 😔3
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@loveychar that saddens me that you don't always feel welcome. 😔
@MissMay You're a great leader, truly. I have always felt that and let it be known, too. What I feel has absolutely nothing to do with you.1 -
Awe......
"It is whom we do not see that we may have the greatest and most lasting impact on. No matter age or gender."
Quoted by MissMay
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@LoveyChar - I would love to have the long streaks of AF that you do. I did much better in January and August but then I just seem to let things interfere with my resolutions. You definitely are an inspiration.
Tonight AF. We had company but did not serve wine. DH was the only one indulging in his bourbon & 7up.
Nov accountability: 5/10 days AF
11/1 Sun AF
11/2 Mon AF
11/3 Tues AF
@ our fishing camp 11/4-11/9
11/4 Wed 1
11/5 Thurs 2
11/6 Fri 2
11/7 Sat 3
11/8 Sun 2
11/9 Mon 2
11/10 Tues AF
11/11 Wed AF5 -
I am Dawn and live in South East British Columbia. I am 60.
My goal remains the same as it has been for quite some time, 16-20 AF days per month.
I check in diary style. It works for me.
Tuesday Nov 10 - Drinks. Seemingly back to making Tuesday my drinks day.
Wednesday Nov 11 - AF - Remembrance Day.
Rolling total. 8AF day out of 11 days6 -
Good morning to ALL.
Success comes in all size packages. I commend each person on here that finds either inspiration or a tidbit of knowledge from checking in or following. One sip less, one drink less or one month less of alcohol is and always has been each individuals own choice on this thread. At their own speed. Like it says One Day At A Time.
No color, age, gender is revealed unless the user puts it out there. Personally I did not hop on board for any other reason than to get support to DRINK LESS. I did not chime in because it was all women back in January 2018, or because it was folks my age posting or because we all shared the same hobby. I learn from those older than me and from those younger. You all have your own special value that you bring to this place.
When in limbo we find sharing or venting about some of our personal life helpful, and it is and we appreciate you opening that little piece of your world to us. It is all part of the process of wanting or needing to drinking less. Because in the end we share the same goal regardless of the amount of alcohol, the length of alcohol free days or the past we had to swim through to get to this point of coming together as a group.
❤
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Very well said, @MissMay and good points made here about drawing inspiration from others. Some posts inspire me to start filling my time and changing my focus away from not drinking to other wonderful activities that reduce stress and add joy.
And, if I can inspire someone some of the time, that makes me feel I did something purposeful and good for others.
As we approach the holidays I especially benefit from that added motivation from this group, so I need you all!
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I'm in for November! After a very good August & September decreasing my alcohol consumption, October just didn't go as planned. But recommitted to drinking less this month.
11/1 - AF
11/2 - AF, No plans to drink today (but tomorrow is another story)
11/3 - Stress drank watching election coverage
11/4 - More election stress drinking
11/5 - Blaming Arizona for my drinking at this point
11/6 - 2 drinks
11/7 - 2 drinks
11/8 - 2 drinks
11/9 - AF
11/10 - AF
11/11 - AF
11/12 - AF, no plans to drink today... So far 6 out of 12 days this month AF but plan on keeping this current AF streak up for the foreseeable days7 -
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I've still been lurking here, and my $0.02: there's no rules about how to post here - people can use it as they see fit, and that's great for setting individual goals. You don't even have to check in daily, or plan for a whole month! But I can also see how support more specific to your situation and your goals would be nice. Might I suggest taking advantage of the Groups feature? If enough people want a place to talk about a certain alcohol-related thing, we can start a Group for it and link it in the monthly blurb. Ideas for Groups (someone would need to invent catchy titles):
-Support for members with heavy-drinking spouses
-AF living (aimed at those not struggling with addiction, but who just don't want to drink often in a world that drinks a lot)
-Drinking less for health
-The singles club
-Etc.
(Note: I wouldn't do groups by age. I think your lifestyle, circumstances, and goals are the more important factors.)
Stepping up and leading a group is a bit of a commitment, but if the way you approach alcohol or the way others around you treat alcohol is something you'd like to talk about in-depth, there's probably others out there feeling the same way who would appreciate your effort. Groups also offer more privacy, so maybe people would be more inclined to share there? Just an idea
Now, in the spirit of this thread, I'm setting myself a goal of being AF today. Just for today, because this entire month is one giant curveball for me, but I need a day without drinks and if I post it here I'll do it.8 -
For those of you that would rather have more volume in numbers of responders to the thread, please remember ~
"You will never fully know what a positive impact YOUR words had on a silent listener".
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Great to hear from you @chocolate_owl. True, there have never been rules set. And no there won't be. The things we ask are for respect for each other as human beings.
And that respect includes not discussing or provoking the three notorious "no's".
No religion
No politics
No personal money wealth
Some folks on the thread a few years back talked about becoming a group. As you can see it never went that direction, one I am thankful for. Not to say that anyone can't start a group aside from here. The possibilities are endless when you put in the energy.
We did however, have a poster that broke into a sober thread that has great success in this category under challenges as well. They strive for a completely different relationship with alcohol than this thread does.
I love the positive feedback and suggestions from everyone. 😊😊😊5 -
Well well well ... DH came home with a lovely spanish Albarino white wine. He commented "I know you are not planning to drink this evening so I didn't pour you a glass". "Thank you". I tried one sip of his and then continued drinking my water. I did splurge after dinner with a coffee that I picked up at the grocery store Starbucks Peppermint Mocha in a red coffee cup.
Nov accountability: 6/12 days AF
Goal: AF days 3 per week / 12 per month; limit 1-2 glasses per day
11/1 Sun AF
11/2 Mon AF
11/3 Tues AF
@ our camp 11/4-11/9
11/4 Wed 1
11/5 Thurs 2
11/6 Fri 2
11/7 Sat 3
11/8 Sun 2
11/9 Mon 2
11/10 Tues AF
11/11 Wed AF
11/12 Thurs AF
Thank you for listening and being here so that I can share and be accountable ... to myself ... but it helps to know that I can "check in".6 -
Reaching for my 3rd beer and paused to read a few posts here. Thanks. I’m done for the night.10
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I have great news. Last night DH and myself were AF. This makes his 2nd time this week. WOO-HOO so proud of him. This is like the first time he's done this in all the years I have known him.
Really happy he is taking steps to improve his health. He's got a calorie savings of 8 IPAs this week so far so at this rate he's on track to drop quite a few lbs. this month.
8 IPAs=1600 calories=about half lb fat.
It is an easy weight loss for men without having to cut out the food.
I kept my mouth shut. I know that making a big deal out of it draws attention to the fact there was a problem in the first place and that is not a good feeling for him. He prefers to keep it easy and simple and not make a big deal about it.
Deep inside, I hope he continues and he feels motivated to hit 3 AF days next week because that will just be better for his body and he will lose weight faster.7 -
And I am thinking that @Lilylady3k and @globalhiker husbands are banding together unknowingly to support thier wives less alcohol goals and improve on their own.
Huge round of applause for the DH's even if they cant hear us.👏👍🤞7 -
@chocolate_owl I do like your idea Drinking Less For Health as a group label. For me, this is Drinking Less for Health and Happiness.
Makes me feel like drinking less isn't taking my fun away. Instead, it makes my world happier and better.
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Another busy day Thursday working outside with the last of our nice weather slipping away. My 5 hour day raced without me even knowing what time it was.
This can sometimes be a trigger for me, my excitement from a super accomplished task. Last night as I sat and searched some recipes for something new to make as an entree for Thanksgiving. I began to get that nagging itch for something alcoholic.
I put my tablet down and thought about it, something I would not have done in the past. "Hmmmmmm really I thought do I want my sleep interrupted later on?"
Went to the frig and poured a mug of soy milk, heated it slighly and added a smidge of honey. Sipped until I decided what my holiday entree was going to be.
Thanksgiving menu complete.
😊6 -
@Lilylady3k
Peppermint Mocha coffee sounds delicious!!3 -
I am Dawn and live in South East British Columbia. I am 60.
My goal remains the same as it has been for quite some time, 16-20 AF days per month.
I check in diary style. It works for me.
Tuesday Nov 10 - Drinks. Seemingly back to making Tuesday my drinks day.
Wednesday Nov 11 - AF - Remembrance Day.
Thursday Nov 12 - AF
Rolling total. 9AF day out of 12 days4 -
@MTW70 your not too far behind in November, you knew we would be here no matter what 😉. I see you picked back up and got back to your AF streak just fine. NICE JOB.
Always super to hear how you are doing.
Thanks @MissMay
I'm happily not drinking at the moment and DH is as well. Looking to get a long AF streak going for the rest of the month and regularly checking in with this group helps!
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