The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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A mantra that is now working for me, instead of "one day at a time", I am saying to myself, "tomorrow will not be a day 1." Day 1's are so dreadful as anyone on this thread knows, this thought is a powerful deterrent.6
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WOW @JenT304 that is awesome weight loss!! Congratulations! It makes a huge difference with no alcohol.
@RubyRed427 You got this! I know you will refrain and be strong.
I am doing well. Haven't been drinking. My Alpha Strength class is having a dinner get together. I cannot make it because i have to work tonight. Glad i have an excuse not to drink.
Next Thursday I am going to ATL to celebrate my sisters 50th bday. She already told me she bought a case of champagne!! Good grief!! I am feeling a little anxiety around that. This is the first time seeing her since my son's funeral and I DO NOT want this trip to turn into a pity party about me. I told her I am celebrating her bday. I dont want to about my son, her nephew. I need a nice break.
Hope you all have a great weekend!!
I have been thinking of you. It may be hard to abstain but you can do it. You may want to have a mantra "not one sip" or " I will feel so good in the morning."
When I went to Nashville with friends for a weekend, they drank in each and every bar. I tagged along and had my fill of club soda with a lime, but I also went to Starbucks a few times for specialty coffee drinks. So, have a back up- bring some good alternatives or go and get coffee for a treat. Order AF mojitos or other AF drinks.
Best part of your trip may be mornings- beautiful breakfasts, maybe a hike, delicious coffees and NO hangover. That will be so refreshing!! Enjoy your sister's birthday
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A mantra that is now working for me, instead of "one day at a time", I am saying to myself, "tomorrow will not be a day 1." Day 1's are so dreadful as anyone on this thread knows, this thought is a powerful deterrent.
For sure Jen!! Tomorrow won't be day 1! I hate that anxious climb out of day 1 that always happens after drinking .... But that won't be us! And no racing night heart beats either!5 -
Good job, everyone. Hope everyone's weekend it good, enjoyable, alcohol free. My colleagues called me on my drive home yesterday and begged me to come to Happy Hour because a former colleague was coming. I said I would and was really looking forward to my first AF Happy Hour. But then I called my husband to tell him I was going, and he said, "No Way!" I was shocked. But then I remembered . . . Oh, yeah. COVID. It hadn't even crossed my mind. I guess because I go to work every day and all has been well, I don't even think about it. The mask has just become part of my clothing. But I decided not to go and take the risk of being out in a crowded public place. So the AF Happy Hour will have to wait.
Day 131 for me today. Today (actually Friday . . . I'm up at 1:30 unable to sleep--unfortunately being sober hasn't exempted me totally from insomnia), anyway, today/Friday was a stressful day at work. Driving home, I told my husband, "If I were still drinking, today would be a triple-vodka day." But luckily I really wasn't even considering going back, as y'all say, to another Day 1. I do rely on my Curious Elixirs and delicious coffees and teas and V-8 juice with pepper--all the things I like to drink--to see me through. Hopefully one day I won't feel the need to have a drink of any kind as a response to stress. Not there yet.
@JenT304, I'm adding my congrats on the weight. I have been really happy with my own weight loss so far since I quit drinking. I'm down 26.8 pounds--with about that much still to go. And it's because, like you said, I'm making better choices in most areas of my life since quitting. I think your blood numbers will make you very happy. I just had to have a liver function test (think I mentioned that) because of a medication, and it was so great to have a very good result. I guess our bodies really do heal when the toxin is removed.6 -
FeelinFooFoo wrote: »https://amp.theguardian.com/society/2019/jun/08/adrian-chiles-honest-about-alcohol-drinks-industry-dangers
Found this quite interesting reading. The alcohol industry relies on problem drinkers!
I saw this guy's documentary on YouTube. It was interesting to see his realization of how subtly his problem developed. At the end he chose to attempt moderation and it would be interesting to know how that has worked for him over time. The recommended weekly allowance of 14 units of alcohol aka poison interests me also...it showed a bottle of wine being 10 units...that was my daily intake most days & occasionally more prior to stopping. All that I can say to my liver is, "You are very welcome!!"
I can't remember where I heard this but it may have been Craig Beck about how the government not only profits financially from problem drinking, but it lulls the masses into submission. I am not promoting protests against the powers that be or anything like that, but I find that reasoning interesting because alcohol is an anesthetic and it does lull us...we drink to dull our senses so the uncomfortable is more tolerable...it makes me think about the increased alcohol consumption since COVID began and the fact that alcohol kills approximately 3 MILLION people annually (pre-Covid stat), but the government isn't addressing that death toll. Tis a mixed up world we live in.
It looks like we may be headed for another lockdown in my part of the world just like the conspiracy types have been warning was going to happen way long ago...I'm not promoting that view either, but it's interesting to me that the predicted pattern that has been foretold seems to be playing out as they predicted. My take on this is, "I have NO control over what I cannot control." But what I can control is whether I drink today...and today I am not drinking...YAY me..."You are welcome again liver." LOL
FANTASTIC progress in this group btw...I am SO proud of you all
Happy, healthy AF wonderful day to all5 -
hi all, last night I blew it so today is day 1 again. my alcohol consumption has gone WAY down, I want it entirely gone. you guys are awesome just looking for some tips and some encouragement.6
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@mtngrl3, I venture to guess that every one of us on this forum has had more Day 1's than we care to count. I know I have. I hesitate to give any advice because I'm just now for the first time on a good roll past my day 1 (132 days today). But I can tell you what changed for me last July 6 (my last Day 1) was that I was in a class offered by Kate Bee. I don't really think it was the class per se. I think it was that having spent the money for it, I was all in to make quitting drinking my full-time job for awhile. Someone compared it to pregnancy. During pregnancy, you get to make that your "job." All your energies--what you read, what you do, what you eat and drink, what you think about--goes into that, and rightly so. I really made going AF my full-time job for a few weeks, maybe the whole 6 weeks of the class.
For me that looked like reading everything I could get my hands on. The books like Craig Beck's and Annie Grace's and Jason Vale's, yes, but also the "Quit Lit" books were really inspiring to me because I felt like the authors were going along on the journey with me (except I never woke up with a stranger, like so many of them seem to have done--they're generally much younger than I). I read Bex Weller, Lotta Dann, Sarah Hepola, Clare Pooley, and a few others I can't remember right now. I also took advantage of this forum as well as the one connected with the class. This is a wonderful place to come, as you have done, for encouragement! I let myself sleep a lot. I experimented with delicious AF substitutes (Curious Elixirs was my best find). I journaled every single day so when I felt weak I could look back through and remember that this was what I wanted. I made a list titled "What I Hated About Drinking" and referred to it often--still do sometimes. I bought myself awesome rewards every five days (lotions, perfume, books, puzzles, whatever). I still do that, but every 20 days or so when I notice it's an even number.
Anyway, my point is, if you're really serious about not wanting yet another Day 1, you might try going into this wholeheartedly and give yourself permission to put absolutely everything else that you can on hold--of course doing things you have to do to be responsible, but other than that--housework and "trivia" like that I felt could wait. And it did.
It really is nice on this side of the pool. I'll try to include a link to the article that reference is from. Best to you!!!
https://humanparts.medium.com/https-medium-com-kristicoulter-the-24-hour-woman-3425ca5be19f#.pkmq36aey
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hi all, last night I blew it so today is day 1 again. my alcohol consumption has gone WAY down, I want it entirely gone. you guys are awesome just looking for some tips and some encouragement.
@donimfp Great list. Thanks for compiling it. I want to check out a few I have not read from your list.
Mtngirl- Read some of these authors' books. It will make you feel good. You will realize you are not the only one who struggles.
I know when I began about three years ago to become sober (along with the people on this thread), I treated it like a college class. I read, took notes, studied addiction. Many of us have read the books suggested above. Watch some youtube Craig Beck videos. He is no nonsense.
I once read a celebrity quote that said "Acting is my hobby. Staying sober is my job." Makes sense.
Yes, we have all had many Day 1 days. So, dust yourself off and try again. Never give up. One day it will click and you will be having one month sober, and so on.
One more thing, we are all one day away from Day 1. It can happen to me. At any given moment, I can succumb and think "well why not, I'll have Just one." I heard recently that after you stop for awhile, if you drink again you don't just pick up where you left off. The disease is progressive. Instead your drinking habit picks up where you would have been if you kept on drinking- I'm not saying it right- it's progressive.
Keep trying. I feel for you. I have been in your shoes. Just keep trying. And always always be kind to yourself. You are doing the best you can. I am proud of all of us for striving to be sober even though it is so damn hard.5 -
FeelinFooFoo wrote: »Couple of observations....
My brother looks like a zombie this morning (drank almost a full bottle of vodka to himself last night)
Someone at work yesterday said they would be having a drink with their family later on. What stuck out was the fact they felt they had to justify their drinking by saying "Well, it is Friday after all!" ........
So, the day of the week dictates when you should drink alcohol? If that's not social conditioning, I don't know what is. Also, the weekend gives the excuse to get totally out of it.....probably a marketing tool so that the booze companies and pubs can rake it in every single weekend.....🤑🤑🤑
Ouch! I can feel his pain way over here. I have looked and felt like that dozens of times. It is so soul crushing besides feeling like you want to die from the hangover pain.
As much as I truly wish I could drink. I know that if I bought a bottle of vodka today, it would be gone in two days. I would just keep topping off my drink. I have zero limits.
But Foo Foo at least it wasn't you. Sometimes, it's ok to think that. He will learn and he will want what you have.6 -
Scrapbooking update: Last night the girls had one or two drinks (they are normal drinkers). I had none. I know that in the past by now, I would have been on my second bottle of wine. I would keep disappearing from this scrapbook room to fill up my coffee cup with wine.
So, one more day sober. I'm content.7 -
Ooh, FooFoo, I feel his pain. Ruby, well done!
I’ve felt down today. Pandemic and Politics Fatigue. Thinking of Thanksgiving without family. My husband’s 92-year-old parents in Ohio have been housebound since March even though they’re both fit. Becoming depressed understandably. Agh. This is when oblivion starts looking attractive. But I’m too aware that drinking just equals more pain. Still, I know we’ll all be so relieved when all “this” is over.6 -
RubyRed427 and donimfp thank you so much, I needed to hear it also. Tonight is my Friday so the temptation is there and I also don't have my kids tonight. Makes me feel better Im not the only one. I may be checking in when I'm off work. Will definitely look into those articles and references you guys mentioned.5
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@donimfp I too have politics and pandemic fatigue. I think most of us do. Have not figured out how to explain to my husband's 90 year old father who is an anti-masker science denier, that none of us intend to have Thanksgiving with him. I feel guilty but we need to all do our part. I will not even be seeing our granddaughters because we are all trying to play by the rules so we get out of this nightmare.
My husband just left for a day and night at the beach with his sister and boyfriend who are all in our germ pod. Frankly I am happy he went without me 1. because surely the wine, beer and probably scotch will be flowing, along with overeating and 2. I have seen him all day every day for 7 months and I need a break! I will enjoy the blessed silence with my 2 dogs and my tea.
Happy, peaceful, and sober Sunday to all of you, my Squad friends.4 -
correction: Father in Law. My own father is no longer with us. Plus he would have worn a %$# mask, gladly. He was in the Secret Service and would be horrified that 130 agents now have it, thanks to those super spreader rallies.
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@JenT304 Enjoy the solitude!! xo
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Good job, @FeelinFooFoo. Wow! Your 23 days seemed to go way faster than my own 23 days. Funny how that works, huh? You’re doing great!5
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@FeelinFooFoo 23 days already? Wow- you are doing amazing!!
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I am observing an alcoholic nightmare in my family. My cousin is out of control - binging more and more. He is only 49, very handsome, an engineer, has a loving wife, He is like a brother to me.
Well, nearly every weekend, his wife has to go through a nightmare- he goes to the store around noon and then disappears for 11 hours. This happened again yesterday. She finally found him in a bar with a woman and other bar flies 25 min. away from home. The woman told her to chill, they're all just friends unwinding together at a bar. He refused to go home with his wife.
So the wife went home and waited and waited. A few hours later, she called the bar and manager said yes he's still there and really drunk falling off the bar stool. She yelled why do you keep serving him!??!! Please send him home- get him in a taxi.
The bar must have felt responsible. So they took his keys and was walking him to an uber when he became belligerent and tried to fight the valet.
The bar manager called the wife, and said we lost him, sorry.
She finally found him near midnight at a different bar. She drags him home.
Today, he wakes around 10 am and soon has a glass of wine. And says "sorry" to his wife.
Calls her controlling, etc.
That's what she deals with every weekend. Then, she calls me and I try to help her by listening. It strengthens MY resolve to not be like that.
My dear cousin will either kill himself slowly drinking, kill someone else with his car, kill his marriage, kill his dignity and the successful life he made with a loving wife.... the other choice is to get and stay sober. I am so heartsick, but I do know it is his choice. He and I have a chronic disease but it is treatable. I am choosing to stay sober along with many of you. It is tough and hard, but in the long run I know it is the only way to have a decent, happy life.
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@RubyRed427, that is so hard. I have a brother-in-law in Ohio who could be his clone. Everything to live for but crazy out of control. His kids are grown and doing well but have dealt with that their whole lives. Has his wife taken advantage of support from AlAnon? Or a professional? It’s great that you’re there to support her but it seems like she would really need extraordinary levels of guidance. I’m amazed my BIL is still alive and even functioning in his engineering job. It’s so painful to witness that level of dysfunction. I’m so sorry to hear about your cousin.6
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