What's on your mind?
Replies
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KosmosKitten wrote: »KickassAmazon76 wrote: »KosmosKitten wrote: »KickassAmazon76 wrote: »slimgirljo15 wrote: »KickassAmazon76 wrote: »My heart aches for my ex. He has managed to do such a number on his kids' hearts that they want nothing to do with him. They've been living with me full time for over a month now, and as Christmas approaches, neither of them want to see him for Christmas (in fact, the thought of even seeing or talking to him makes them anxious).
And my heart hurts. As a parent, I can imagine how much he is hurting. I know how hard this will be for him, and I KNOW he feels that this is all my doing. He doesn't see how much I have tried to soften the negative feelings, how often I have tried to help them see other viewpoints (including his). I don't want to see him suffer, I don't want him to lose contact with them. But at this point, it is no longer in my hands.
Sadly they never see that they did it to themselves.
My ex years ago told the kids when his gf got pregnant that they'd never amount to anything because they've too much of their mother in them and that he was going to start again and make a better family ( true story) that was just one of many examples. Yet today years later he blames me that 3 of the 4 have not spoken to him in years.
Oh god. That is heartbreaking. My ex was also quite adamant about "training" their mother out of them and couldn't understand why that devastated the kids so much. The thing that people don't get is that your children are half mom and half dad. When one parent hates the other, they are unconcously making it known that they are hating part of their child. My youngest learned that to make dad happy, they had to put mom down. As they grew older, that didn't sit well with them. The damage done was significant and will be very hard to undo. And you are so right... they are doing it to themselves.
I may not agree with my ex... but I will not insult him or call him down. Sadly that was a one sided decision that has backfired on him considerably.
I am glad that your children have you in their lives. *hugs*
Your story and the story of @slimgirljo15 are tumultuous and you both have my sympathies for ever having to deal with it. I come from a family of divorce that did not end amicably. My mother spent much of my teenage (formative) years arguing with, putting down and being bitter at my father. She even hauled *kitten* and moved to another state as soon as the courts would let her because I had no choice but to go with her at that time, thus cementing the fact that I would only see my father once a month (4 hour drive one way). In the end, I can confirm: it divided my loyalties, made it very obvious that I was a burden to my mother (and only a source of revenue) and made me resent her most of the time I had to live with her. I still love her, but as soon as she kicked me out at 18, I never looked back.
I was not troublesome, I was an honor roll student who only left the house to go to school and to do extra-curricular stuff like band/art club. My mother spent most of my teenage life and young adult life blaming my father for why I was "like I was" instead of looking at her *kitten* behavior and realizing she'd made her own bed.
Our relationship is better now, but I don't fully trust her nor do I go out of my way to talk to her. Meanwhile, I talk to my dad once a week via Skype.
What I'm getting at is that you both are correct: She did it to herself. They always do. I still love her because she's my mom and I always will, but my relationship with her has caused me to be extremely cautious about anything and everything I say and do around her because of my upbringing in her home and how she treated me.
This brought me to tears. I am so sad that you went through that. Thank you for sharing this. ❤️ I hope that one day my kids will be able to have some form of relationship with him.
They may, if he turns his attitude and values around and can see what is going on before too long. Your children probably also honestly need time to process their own emotions, how they deal with and respond to him, etc. and that takes time. I think it's PHENOMENAL that you have compassion for him at all, but I'd say not to beat yourself up too much about his decision making. You can't make the bad decisions for him, after all. He's gonna have to turn it around on his own. You're doing the best you can, not bad-mouthing him, being compassionate and showing your kids what a kind and loving human being can and should be like.
I'm not blowing smoke up your rear when I say I feel like you really, TRULY embody your username here. You're doing a lot of stuff on your own, absolutely killing it while still showing you struggle sometimes and have conflicting thoughts. You truly are a "Kickass Amazon".
And that is no small feat.
OK now I am legit crying.
❤️ ❤️ ❤️
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I've never heard of a tree being girthy. To see the girthiest one ever made me chuckle! Hahaha
Thanks for that @JessBbody!4 -
💩always..........rolls downhill.........1 -
You haven't seen me after having Chipotle lolhoneybee__12 wrote: »
💩always..........rolls downhill.........
1 -
chuckle_bunny wrote: »
You haven't seen me after having Chipotle lolhoneybee__12 wrote: »
💩always..........rolls downhill.........
😂😂😂🤭0 -
In the process of moving. I hate moving. Funny thing is...I don’t have a place to move into yet and I’m not exactly sure where in general I’ll be moving to...so that’s fun... 🙄🙄🙄4
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After watching Bette Midler in the movie
“ The Rose “ it reminded me how Amy Winehouse was before she died .
It’s like the movie was some how written for her before she was a star .2 -
I need hobbies outside of drinking and listening to sad music. Hobbies that don't require me to be creative.
Although this rum/Coke combo is quite nice.5 -
Thinking... How grateful I am to have listened to my intuition on Monday. Decided not to go for an hour walk at 4AM. By 415, Mom fell in the bathroom and hit her head on the metal door track on the bathtub. Had I not respected my intuition, she would have been on the bathroom floor bleeding profusely.
Grateful to live near a fire station. Fire truck and ambulance arrived less than 10 minutes. Grateful for the nurses and Drs.
Grateful shes ok. It could have been worse.9 -
FourWindsWalker wrote: »Thinking... How grateful I am to have listened to my intuition on Monday. Decided not to go for an hour walk at 4AM. By 415, Mom fell in the bathroom and hit her head on the metal door track on the bathtub. Had I not respected my intuition, she would have been on the bathroom floor bleeding profusely.
Grateful to live near a fire station. Fire truck and ambulance arrived less than 10 minutes. Grateful for the nurses and Drs.
Grateful shes ok. It could have been worse.
😮 so sorry that happened to her and lucky you were there!1 -
In 1986 I went to the beach with youth group to see Halley’s comet. It was cold and I had to pee and I saw nothing.
The Perseids are generally underwhelming.
Do I really need to stay up till after midnight in winter to try to see the northern lights?
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FourWindsWalker wrote: »Thinking... How grateful I am to have listened to my intuition on Monday. Decided not to go for an hour walk at 4AM. By 415, Mom fell in the bathroom and hit her head on the metal door track on the bathtub. Had I not respected my intuition, she would have been on the bathroom floor bleeding profusely.
Grateful to live near a fire station. Fire truck and ambulance arrived less than 10 minutes. Grateful for the nurses and Drs.
Grateful shes ok. It could have been worse.
Wow that's pretty scary .
So glad you listened to you're intuition .
I call them Guardian Angel
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what if that "sex and candy" song back in the day was actually about john candy4
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FourWindsWalker wrote: »Thinking... How grateful I am to have listened to my intuition on Monday. Decided not to go for an hour walk at 4AM. By 415, Mom fell in the bathroom and hit her head on the metal door track on the bathtub. Had I not respected my intuition, she would have been on the bathroom floor bleeding profusely.
Grateful to live near a fire station. Fire truck and ambulance arrived less than 10 minutes. Grateful for the nurses and Drs.
Grateful shes ok. It could have been worse.
How scary! Glad you listened to that inner voice and everything worked out okay for your mom!!1 -
@Kashmir_314_
I just googled why were chainsaws invented. And now I’m afraid of them too1 -
scratchmyTwitch wrote: »@kasmir_314_
I just googled why were chainsaws invented. And now I’m afraid of them too
Obviously they were invented for scary movies.4 -
scratchmyTwitch wrote: »@Kashmir_314_
I just googled why were chainsaws invented. And now I’m afraid of them too
"The procedure, which was known as a "symphysiotomy," was originally performed by hand using a small knife and saw to remove the bone.
And to make things worse, this was all done without anesthesia to a woman in the middle of giving birth.
It took a long time and it was messy and obviously painful."
Whoa..... and this wasn't all that long ago either.
Modern Medicine can't evolve fast enough.0 -
Kashmir_314_ wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »scratchmyTwitch wrote: »@Kashmir_314_
I just googled why were chainsaws invented. And now I’m afraid of them too
"The procedure, which was known as a "symphysiotomy," was originally performed by hand using a small knife and saw to remove the bone.
And to make things worse, this was all done without anesthesia to a woman in the middle of giving birth.
It took a long time and it was messy and obviously painful."
Whoa..... and this wasn't all that long ago either.
Modern Medicine can't evolve fast enough.
I mean, ouchy! Nono 😱
I'm queasy after reading this. 🤢1 -
I have a goldfish named Spike. He's about a year and a half old, and recently got sick. I think he's dying. 😔
He's been laying at the bottom of the tank now, moving only to eat, for a while, and now he's not even moving much. Just breathing. Gasping for water with his dying fishy breaths.
Last night I hand fed him. (he laid there while I put my hand in the water and dropped pellets by his face, then he'd suck them up like a vacuum).
Sigh. I hate this part about having fish. Watching them die. Wanting to put them out of their misery, but not wanting to kill them, either.
Stupid Spike. Why do you have to die so soon?9 -
After y'all over there talking about the marvel of the modern chainsaw and its application and invention primarily for use in the medical realm, I really feel like you could benefit from listening the podcast "Sawbones". It's an entire podcast about how modern medicine came to be, complete with all the stupid, terrible and hilarious things humanity has done to get where we are medically speaking.4
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Kashmir_314_ wrote: »KickassAmazon76 wrote: »I have a goldfish named Spike. He's about a year and a half old, and recently got sick. I think he's dying. 😔
He's been laying at the bottom of the tank now, moving only to eat, for a while, and now he's not even moving much. Just breathing. Gasping for water with his dying fishy breaths.
Last night I hand fed him. (he laid there while I put my hand in the water and dropped pellets by his face, then he'd suck them up like a vacuum).
Sigh. I hate this part about having fish. Watching them die. Wanting to put them out of their misery, but not wanting to kill them, either.
Stupid Spike. Why do you have to die so soon?
Awww, I'm sorry.
This triggered a memory of my goldfish bubbles. (Shut up @iMago ) I left him on the porch when I was moving into my new home. The water in his tank froze solid. I put him in a pot and heated it up, he survived! I had him for one more year.
RIP Spike and Bubbles
Whoa... I had a friend in college who accidentally left her fish on a windowsill (open window) in a dorm that had really shoddy heat. He froze solid, but I don't think she tried to revive him in warm water! Who knew that would actually work?
RIP pretty fish.
I had three fish when I was younger, but they all died of erm... not old age. I found the remnants of one in a tank one day after school... and soon after the other one passed from disease, so uhm.. yeah. That solidified in my mind to never have fish ever again. I just do not have good experiences with them.
@KickassAmazon76 - sorry for your loss (well, potential as of this writing). That really sucks. 1 -
Kashmir_314_ wrote: »KickassAmazon76 wrote: »I have a goldfish named Spike. He's about a year and a half old, and recently got sick. I think he's dying. 😔
He's been laying at the bottom of the tank now, moving only to eat, for a while, and now he's not even moving much. Just breathing. Gasping for water with his dying fishy breaths.
Last night I hand fed him. (he laid there while I put my hand in the water and dropped pellets by his face, then he'd suck them up like a vacuum).
Sigh. I hate this part about having fish. Watching them die. Wanting to put them out of their misery, but not wanting to kill them, either.
Stupid Spike. Why do you have to die so soon?
Awww, I'm sorry.
This triggered a memory of my goldfish bubbles. (Shut up @iMago ) I left him on the porch when I was moving into my new home. The water in his tank froze solid. I put him in a pot and heated it up, he survived! I had him for one more year.
RIP Spike and Bubbles
OMG! I can't believe that worked!
*feels intense feeling of dread, then wave of nausea*
OK... So once upon a time I had two fighting fish (on separate bowl - Noway and Jose lol). Noway got sick and was doing the backstroke, but trying to survive, for days. I felt so horrible I read about the best way to humanely kill a fish. They suggested adding ice cubes to the water, gradually making it colder and then they'd just go to sleep and die. So, I did that. And then put him in the freezer for good measure. Then once frozen, I threw him out.
Now I am having a panic attack thinking that he unthawed and died in the bottom of a garbage can! Good God, my imagination is too intense! I can see him in my head waking up and suffocating in coffee grounds! 😩😳🙄🤢🤪4 -
scratchmyTwitch wrote: »@Kashmir_314_
I just googled why were chainsaws invented. And now I’m afraid of them too
unrelated to chainsaws at all, but one of my favourite random factoids of life is about the inventor William Moulton Marston.
he created the systolic blood pressure test, which went on to become part of the polygraph/lie detector system.
he decided he wanted to make money off the idea of the lie detector system after that basically, and as he was a writer and a psychologist and an all around clever dude, he eventually made his way into writing comic books of all things
then sometime in 1941 he created Wonder Womanalso Wonder Woman's inspiration was Olive Byrne- who also happened to be the "domestic partner" of both Moulton and his wife Elizabeth. and all i have to say about that really is
1 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »I have a goldfish named Spike. He's about a year and a half old, and recently got sick. I think he's dying. 😔
He's been laying at the bottom of the tank now, moving only to eat, for a while, and now he's not even moving much. Just breathing. Gasping for water with his dying fishy breaths.
Last night I hand fed him. (he laid there while I put my hand in the water and dropped pellets by his face, then he'd suck them up like a vacuum).
Sigh. I hate this part about having fish. Watching them die. Wanting to put them out of their misery, but not wanting to kill them, either.
Stupid Spike. Why do you have to die so soon?
Is he a standard gold fish or a fan tail? year and half is a pretty short life span. Gold fish can seem almost immortal in the wild. Check with the fish store (not a pet store but an actual aquarium store) sometimes they can nurse those little buggers back to life. Sometimes its just a vitamin de-fish_ency (see what I did there) and you can just drop some tabs or drops in the water.
Sorry lady, losing a pet of any sort is always heart breaking. *hugs*5 -
Kashmir_314_ wrote: »KickassAmazon76 wrote: »Kashmir_314_ wrote: »KickassAmazon76 wrote: »I have a goldfish named Spike. He's about a year and a half old, and recently got sick. I think he's dying. 😔
He's been laying at the bottom of the tank now, moving only to eat, for a while, and now he's not even moving much. Just breathing. Gasping for water with his dying fishy breaths.
Last night I hand fed him. (he laid there while I put my hand in the water and dropped pellets by his face, then he'd suck them up like a vacuum).
Sigh. I hate this part about having fish. Watching them die. Wanting to put them out of their misery, but not wanting to kill them, either.
Stupid Spike. Why do you have to die so soon?
Awww, I'm sorry.
This triggered a memory of my goldfish bubbles. (Shut up @iMago ) I left him on the porch when I was moving into my new home. The water in his tank froze solid. I put him in a pot and heated it up, he survived! I had him for one more year.
RIP Spike and Bubbles
OMG! I can't believe that worked!
*feels intense feeling of dread, then wave of nausea*
OK... So once upon a time I had two fighting fish (on separate bowl - Noway and Jose lol). Noway got sick and was doing the backstroke, but trying to survive, for days. I felt so horrible I read about the best way to humanely kill a fish. They suggested adding ice cubes to the water, gradually making it colder and then they'd just go to sleep and die. So, I did that. And then put him in the freezer for good measure. Then once frozen, I threw him out.
Now I am having a panic attack thinking that he unthawed and died in the bottom of a garbage can! Good God, my imagination is too intense! I can see him in my head waking up and suffocating in coffee grounds! 😩😳🙄🤢🤪
Breathe. 🤗
Ok, those were some great names! 😂
Haha thanks! We also had Hooolio, Jerkface, Bubbles, Mr Mochi, and a whole host of others. We stopoed naming the guppies because they wouldn't stop breeding (thanks Jerkface!)
Oh and we had Romeo, too. He only liked the boy guppies. Haha
Ps... If you ever want awkward conversations with your kids... Get a 10g tank with guppies.2 -
GymGoddessGoals wrote: »KickassAmazon76 wrote: »I have a goldfish named Spike. He's about a year and a half old, and recently got sick. I think he's dying. 😔
He's been laying at the bottom of the tank now, moving only to eat, for a while, and now he's not even moving much. Just breathing. Gasping for water with his dying fishy breaths.
Last night I hand fed him. (he laid there while I put my hand in the water and dropped pellets by his face, then he'd suck them up like a vacuum).
Sigh. I hate this part about having fish. Watching them die. Wanting to put them out of their misery, but not wanting to kill them, either.
Stupid Spike. Why do you have to die so soon?
Is he a standard gold fish or a fan tail? year and half is a pretty short life span. Gold fish can seem almost immortal in the wild. Check with the fish store (not a pet store but an actual aquarium store) sometimes they can nurse those little buggers back to life. Sometimes its just a vitamin de-fish_ency (see what I did there) and you can just drop some tabs or drops in the water.
Sorry lady, losing a pet of any sort is always heart breaking. *hugs*
He was a 99c feeder fish I got - so I have no idea. He was only an inch long when I got him and he's almost 8" now.
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scratchmyTwitch wrote: »@Kashmir_314_
I just googled why were chainsaws invented. And now I’m afraid of them too
unrelated to chainsaws at all, but one of my favourite random factoids of life is about the inventor William Moulton Marston.
he created the systolic blood pressure test, which went on to become part of the polygraph/lie detector system.
he decided he wanted to make money off the idea of the lie detector system after that basically, and as he was a writer and a psychologist and an all around clever dude, he eventually made his way into writing comic books of all things
then sometime in 1941 he created Wonder Womanalso Wonder Woman's inspiration was Olive Byrne- who also happened to be the "domestic partner" of both Moulton and his wife Elizabeth. and all i have to say about that really is
I only knew the last part of that 😬3 -
scratchmyTwitch wrote: »scratchmyTwitch wrote: »@Kashmir_314_
I just googled why were chainsaws invented. And now I’m afraid of them too
unrelated to chainsaws at all, but one of my favourite random factoids of life is about the inventor William Moulton Marston.
he created the systolic blood pressure test, which went on to become part of the polygraph/lie detector system.
he decided he wanted to make money off the idea of the lie detector system after that basically, and as he was a writer and a psychologist and an all around clever dude, he eventually made his way into writing comic books of all things
then sometime in 1941 he created Wonder Womanalso Wonder Woman's inspiration was Olive Byrne- who also happened to be the "domestic partner" of both Moulton and his wife Elizabeth. and all i have to say about that really is
I only knew the last part of that 😬
yeah and aside from the whole "lie detector/lasso of truth" thing with wonder woman, he was also kinda into bondage:
"The only hope for peace is to teach people who are full of pep and unbound force to enjoy being bound... Only when the control of self by others is more pleasant than the unbound assertion of self in human relationships can we hope for a stable, peaceful human society... Giving to others, being controlled by them, submitting to other people cannot possibly be enjoyable without a strong erotic element"
also: "William Moulton Marston died of cancer on May 2, 1947, in Rye, seven days before his 54th birthday. After his death, Elizabeth and Olive continued to live together until Olive's death in 1990, aged 86."
5 -
"You will give the people an ideal to strive towards. They'll race behind you. They will stumble; they will fall. But, in time, they will join you in the sun. In time, you will help them accomplish wonders."3
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scratchmyTwitch wrote: »scratchmyTwitch wrote: »@Kashmir_314_
I just googled why were chainsaws invented. And now I’m afraid of them too
unrelated to chainsaws at all, but one of my favourite random factoids of life is about the inventor William Moulton Marston.
he created the systolic blood pressure test, which went on to become part of the polygraph/lie detector system.
he decided he wanted to make money off the idea of the lie detector system after that basically, and as he was a writer and a psychologist and an all around clever dude, he eventually made his way into writing comic books of all things
then sometime in 1941 he created Wonder Womanalso Wonder Woman's inspiration was Olive Byrne- who also happened to be the "domestic partner" of both Moulton and his wife Elizabeth. and all i have to say about that really is
I only knew the last part of that 😬
yeah and aside from the whole "lie detector/lasso of truth" thing with wonder woman, he was also kinda into bondage:
"The only hope for peace is to teach people who are full of pep and unbound force to enjoy being bound... Only when the control of self by others is more pleasant than the unbound assertion of self in human relationships can we hope for a stable, peaceful human society... Giving to others, being controlled by them, submitting to other people cannot possibly be enjoyable without a strong erotic element"
also: "William Moulton Marston died of cancer on May 2, 1947, in Rye, seven days before his 54th birthday. After his death, Elizabeth and Olive continued to live together until Olive's death in 1990, aged 86."
I feel like I’ve heard this before.1
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