What’s a red flag for you?
Replies
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Thanks for all your input guys. So far I haven't heard from her. Last time we texted was just told each other Happy New Year. We also go to the same church so tomorrow will be interesting....
Dress nice. Smile a lot, not necessarily at her. Leave before she does and don’t approach her, but if you do make eye contact, give a polite head nod and that’s it.5 -
Thanks for all your input guys. So far I haven't heard from her. Last time we texted was just told each other Happy New Year. We also go to the same church so tomorrow will be interesting....
Dress nice. Smile a lot, not necessarily at her. Leave before she does and don’t approach her, but if you do make eye contact, give a polite head nod and that’s it.
I concur0 -
keeps a pleasure journal 😐3
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When you borrow his phone to make a call and his password looks like this.
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If she has ever taught a teenage abstinence workshop0
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If they smell bad bad hygiene in general2
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Tragically hip. Always up on the latest trends.
👉👈5 -
Constant impulse purchases. Double the red flag when he impulse buys everything that pops up as an ad on IG and admits it with no shame later.1
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Inability to listen. For example, if you specifically ask me "do you like this particular food item?" and I respond that I very much dislike it and do not eat it, do not then cook it for me 2 days later and be upset that I do not want it.
Looks for validation and praise every time he does basic tasks like washing dishes, laundry, or grocery shopping - because he so rarely does any of the above or any other housekeeping task.
Related: hoards anything, but especially not being able to bother to throw away food that's long past the stage of disgusting and is bordering on unrecognizable. (Most recent specific example - why is there, among other gross things, half a pie with a best by date of months ago that's now mostly covered with mold sitting in a half-open box on your counter? How long has it been there? Are you aware there's a trash can 3 steps away? I might have an answer to the question of why you're having such a hard time with ants and mice...)
Daily selfies, especially if they're always posted to multiple social media platforms.
Constantly commenting gushing praise on half-naked/fully-naked women's photos on social media while claiming "oh, I'm totally serious about us and our relationship and I'll get jealous and anxious if you even talk to another guy, but these are my friends and I *have to* support my friends, so you just have to accept that it's not something I'm ever going to stop doing"...even better when done while apparently not noticing that these oh so important friends never respond to any of his own photos or posts.
Updates their relationship status on facebook to say you're in a relationship with each other when you've been out exactly 1 time, then calls in a panic because they're afraid you're going to break up with them when you hide that status. Didn't think an official breakup was necessary after 1 afternoon, but yes, now I most certainly am.
Gets irritated at me for going to the gym - followed by ranting at me about how he refuses to exercise in any way because his dad liked to work out and they didn't have a great relationship. Uh, ok? Afraid we're not very compatible then.
(Sheesh, apparently I needed to vent a bit about the fun that is attempting to date at 40.
) 7 -
skctilidie wrote: »Inability to listen. For example, if you specifically ask me "do you like this particular food item?" and I respond that I very much dislike it and do not eat it, do not then cook it for me 2 days later and be upset that I do not want it.
Looks for validation and praise every time he does basic tasks like washing dishes, laundry, or grocery shopping - because he so rarely does any of the above or any other housekeeping task.
Related: hoards anything, but especially not being able to bother to throw away food that's long past the stage of disgusting and is bordering on unrecognizable. (Most recent specific example - why is there, among other gross things, half a pie with a best by date of months ago that's now mostly covered with mold sitting in a half-open box on your counter? How long has it been there? Are you aware there's a trash can 3 steps away? I might have an answer to the question of why you're having such a hard time with ants and mice...)
Daily selfies, especially if they're always posted to multiple social media platforms.
Constantly commenting gushing praise on half-naked/fully-naked women's photos on social media while claiming "oh, I'm totally serious about us and our relationship and I'll get jealous and anxious if you even talk to another guy, but these are my friends and I *have to* support my friends, so you just have to accept that it's not something I'm ever going to stop doing"...even better when done while apparently not noticing that these oh so important friends never respond to any of his own photos or posts.
Updates their relationship status on facebook to say you're in a relationship with each other when you've been out exactly 1 time, then calls in a panic because they're afraid you're going to break up with them when you hide that status. Didn't think an official breakup was necessary after 1 afternoon, but yes, now I most certainly am.
Gets irritated at me for going to the gym - followed by ranting at me about how he refuses to exercise in any way because his dad liked to work out and they didn't have a great relationship. Uh, ok? Afraid we're not very compatible then.
(Sheesh, apparently I needed to vent a bit about the fun that is attempting to date at 40. )
Wow. Um. Just. Wow. I think I'd be happier without all the dating hoopla of life if this was my experience. Eek. Tell me this wasn't all rolled into one guy? Even so.
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skctilidie wrote: »Inability to listen. For example, if you specifically ask me "do you like this particular food item?" and I respond that I very much dislike it and do not eat it, do not then cook it for me 2 days later and be upset that I do not want it.
Looks for validation and praise every time he does basic tasks like washing dishes, laundry, or grocery shopping - because he so rarely does any of the above or any other housekeeping task.
Related: hoards anything, but especially not being able to bother to throw away food that's long past the stage of disgusting and is bordering on unrecognizable. (Most recent specific example - why is there, among other gross things, half a pie with a best by date of months ago that's now mostly covered with mold sitting in a half-open box on your counter? How long has it been there? Are you aware there's a trash can 3 steps away? I might have an answer to the question of why you're having such a hard time with ants and mice...)
Daily selfies, especially if they're always posted to multiple social media platforms.
Constantly commenting gushing praise on half-naked/fully-naked women's photos on social media while claiming "oh, I'm totally serious about us and our relationship and I'll get jealous and anxious if you even talk to another guy, but these are my friends and I *have to* support my friends, so you just have to accept that it's not something I'm ever going to stop doing"...even better when done while apparently not noticing that these oh so important friends never respond to any of his own photos or posts.
Updates their relationship status on facebook to say you're in a relationship with each other when you've been out exactly 1 time, then calls in a panic because they're afraid you're going to break up with them when you hide that status. Didn't think an official breakup was necessary after 1 afternoon, but yes, now I most certainly am.
Gets irritated at me for going to the gym - followed by ranting at me about how he refuses to exercise in any way because his dad liked to work out and they didn't have a great relationship. Uh, ok? Afraid we're not very compatible then.
(Sheesh, apparently I needed to vent a bit about the fun that is attempting to date at 40. )
Wow. Um. Just. Wow. I think I'd be happier without all the dating hoopla of life if this was my experience. Eek. Tell me this wasn't all rolled into one guy? Even so.
I second that I’d rather stay single if I were you lol1 -
If he has the crazy eyes2
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annrellis1339 wrote: »If they smell bad bad hygiene in general
Mmmk...but like their natural "musky" smell is fine right? Like when you nestle up into the crook of their shoulder and you can tell they didn't have deodorant on that day but you don't mind and kinda like it (assuming this is not post-workout).twitchandshout wrote: »Tragically hip. Always up on the latest trends.
👉👈
I don't like The Hip per se but they are Canadian, therefore it's a patriotic duty to rep. Also the juxtaposition of being into that band yet still being up on trends is deliciously intriguing.
🤔
Lemme jot this all down in my new Pleasure Journal.3 -
If he smacks someone upside the head with a twisted tea it might be a sign.1
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annrellis1339 wrote: »If they smell bad bad hygiene in general
Mmmk...but like their natural "musky" smell is fine right? Like when you nestle up into the crook of their shoulder and you can tell they didn't have deodorant on that day but you don't mind and kinda like it (assuming this is not post-workout).twitchandshout wrote: »Tragically hip. Always up on the latest trends.
👉👈
I don't like The Hip per se but they are Canadian, therefore it's a patriotic duty to rep. Also the juxtaposition of being into that band yet still being up on trends is deliciously intriguing.
🤔
Lemme jot this all down in my new Pleasure Journal.
I’ve been feeling incredibly hedonistic lately - doing all the things that feel good to me. Should I be writing these down or is my vlog sufficient?1 -
twitchandshout wrote: »annrellis1339 wrote: »If they smell bad bad hygiene in general
Mmmk...but like their natural "musky" smell is fine right? Like when you nestle up into the crook of their shoulder and you can tell they didn't have deodorant on that day but you don't mind and kinda like it (assuming this is not post-workout).twitchandshout wrote: »Tragically hip. Always up on the latest trends.
👉👈
I don't like The Hip per se but they are Canadian, therefore it's a patriotic duty to rep. Also the juxtaposition of being into that band yet still being up on trends is deliciously intriguing.
🤔
Lemme jot this all down in my new Pleasure Journal.
I’ve been feeling incredibly hedonistic lately - doing all the things that feel good to me. Should I be writing these down or is my vlog sufficient?
Are there visuals with this vlog? Send link for reference point3 -
PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »annrellis1339 wrote: »If they smell bad bad hygiene in general
Mmmk...but like their natural "musky" smell is fine right? Like when you nestle up into the crook of their shoulder and you can tell they didn't have deodorant on that day but you don't mind and kinda like it (assuming this is not post-workout).twitchandshout wrote: »Tragically hip. Always up on the latest trends.
👉👈
I don't like The Hip per se but they are Canadian, therefore it's a patriotic duty to rep. Also the juxtaposition of being into that band yet still being up on trends is deliciously intriguing.
🤔
Lemme jot this all down in my new Pleasure Journal.
I’ve been feeling incredibly hedonistic lately - doing all the things that feel good to me. Should I be writing these down or is my vlog sufficient?
Are there visuals with this vlog? Send link for reference point
It’s generally my cat while she licks her butt as I voiceover a description of my breakfast.2 -
twitchandshout wrote: »annrellis1339 wrote: »If they smell bad bad hygiene in general
Mmmk...but like their natural "musky" smell is fine right? Like when you nestle up into the crook of their shoulder and you can tell they didn't have deodorant on that day but you don't mind and kinda like it (assuming this is not post-workout).twitchandshout wrote: »Tragically hip. Always up on the latest trends.
👉👈
I don't like The Hip per se but they are Canadian, therefore it's a patriotic duty to rep. Also the juxtaposition of being into that band yet still being up on trends is deliciously intriguing.
🤔
Lemme jot this all down in my new Pleasure Journal.
I’ve been feeling incredibly hedonistic lately - doing all the things that feel good to me. Should I be writing these down or is my vlog sufficient?
A vlog, you say? You've leveled up! 🙌🏿 And, like @PlentyofProtein00, I'd want the link...even if it requires a substantial Patreon committment.2 -
Getting into a relationship based on just the first honeymoon phase of dating. If you havent seen them angry or upset or failed at something, you havent seen their true behavior.4
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Thanks for all your input guys. So far I haven't heard from her. Last time we texted was just told each other Happy New Year. We also go to the same church so tomorrow will be interesting....
Dress nice. Smile a lot, not necessarily at her. Leave before she does and don’t approach her, but if you do make eye contact, give a polite head nod and that’s it.
She got into her car and left after the first service. I know she saw me pull up with my truck and parked. I don't know....feels like it's already over.4 -
Motorsheen wrote: ».
Yeah, right2 -
Thanks for all your input guys. So far I haven't heard from her. Last time we texted was just told each other Happy New Year. We also go to the same church so tomorrow will be interesting....
Dress nice. Smile a lot, not necessarily at her. Leave before she does and don’t approach her, but if you do make eye contact, give a polite head nod and that’s it.
She got into her car and left after the first service. I know she saw me pull up with my truck and parked. I don't know....feels like it's already over.
I’m sorry. That’s not a fun way to start the new year. Guess the only thing left to do now is go get as hot as possible. And happy. Nothing kills ‘em like seeing you hot and happy
In all seriousness, she’ll sense a beaten down puppy dog if you seem to be waiting around on her and that’s not a good thing. Don’t just wait to hear from her first, don’t even respond if she does. Or do, but keep it wind and weather and never initiate.
The fact that she avoided you at church means she’s hoping you get the hint but she’s afraid you won’t.5 -
skctilidie wrote: »Inability to listen. For example, if you specifically ask me "do you like this particular food item?" and I respond that I very much dislike it and do not eat it, do not then cook it for me 2 days later and be upset that I do not want it.
Looks for validation and praise every time he does basic tasks like washing dishes, laundry, or grocery shopping - because he so rarely does any of the above or any other housekeeping task.
Related: hoards anything, but especially not being able to bother to throw away food that's long past the stage of disgusting and is bordering on unrecognizable. (Most recent specific example - why is there, among other gross things, half a pie with a best by date of months ago that's now mostly covered with mold sitting in a half-open box on your counter? How long has it been there? Are you aware there's a trash can 3 steps away? I might have an answer to the question of why you're having such a hard time with ants and mice...)
Daily selfies, especially if they're always posted to multiple social media platforms.
Constantly commenting gushing praise on half-naked/fully-naked women's photos on social media while claiming "oh, I'm totally serious about us and our relationship and I'll get jealous and anxious if you even talk to another guy, but these are my friends and I *have to* support my friends, so you just have to accept that it's not something I'm ever going to stop doing"...even better when done while apparently not noticing that these oh so important friends never respond to any of his own photos or posts.
Updates their relationship status on facebook to say you're in a relationship with each other when you've been out exactly 1 time, then calls in a panic because they're afraid you're going to break up with them when you hide that status. Didn't think an official breakup was necessary after 1 afternoon, but yes, now I most certainly am.
Gets irritated at me for going to the gym - followed by ranting at me about how he refuses to exercise in any way because his dad liked to work out and they didn't have a great relationship. Uh, ok? Afraid we're not very compatible then.
(Sheesh, apparently I needed to vent a bit about the fun that is attempting to date at 40. )
Wow. Um. Just. Wow. I think I'd be happier without all the dating hoopla of life if this was my experience. Eek. Tell me this wasn't all rolled into one guy? Even so.
Lol, no - not one guy, just a combination of experiences that make me leery of trying again!
3 -
If he never accidentally hits like on a really old wall post3
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skctilidie wrote: »Inability to listen. For example, if you specifically ask me "do you like this particular food item?" and I respond that I very much dislike it and do not eat it, do not then cook it for me 2 days later and be upset that I do not want it.
Looks for validation and praise every time he does basic tasks like washing dishes, laundry, or grocery shopping - because he so rarely does any of the above or any other housekeeping task.
Related: hoards anything, but especially not being able to bother to throw away food that's long past the stage of disgusting and is bordering on unrecognizable. (Most recent specific example - why is there, among other gross things, half a pie with a best by date of months ago that's now mostly covered with mold sitting in a half-open box on your counter? How long has it been there? Are you aware there's a trash can 3 steps away? I might have an answer to the question of why you're having such a hard time with ants and mice...)
Daily selfies, especially if they're always posted to multiple social media platforms.
Constantly commenting gushing praise on half-naked/fully-naked women's photos on social media while claiming "oh, I'm totally serious about us and our relationship and I'll get jealous and anxious if you even talk to another guy, but these are my friends and I *have to* support my friends, so you just have to accept that it's not something I'm ever going to stop doing"...even better when done while apparently not noticing that these oh so important friends never respond to any of his own photos or posts.
Updates their relationship status on facebook to say you're in a relationship with each other when you've been out exactly 1 time, then calls in a panic because they're afraid you're going to break up with them when you hide that status. Didn't think an official breakup was necessary after 1 afternoon, but yes, now I most certainly am.
Gets irritated at me for going to the gym - followed by ranting at me about how he refuses to exercise in any way because his dad liked to work out and they didn't have a great relationship. Uh, ok? Afraid we're not very compatible then.
(Sheesh, apparently I needed to vent a bit about the fun that is attempting to date at 40. )
I feel like you either dodged one giant bullet... or a bunch of tiny ones depending on if this is all ONE person or several different people you're referring to.
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I’m just one giant red flag to be fair 🚩3
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Thanks for all your input guys. So far I haven't heard from her. Last time we texted was just told each other Happy New Year. We also go to the same church so tomorrow will be interesting....
Dress nice. Smile a lot, not necessarily at her. Leave before she does and don’t approach her, but if you do make eye contact, give a polite head nod and that’s it.
She got into her car and left after the first service. I know she saw me pull up with my truck and parked. I don't know....feels like it's already over.
I’m sorry. That’s not a fun way to start the new year. Guess the only thing left to do now is go get as hot as possible. And happy. Nothing kills ‘em like seeing you hot and happy
In all seriousness, she’ll sense a beaten down puppy dog if you seem to be waiting around on her and that’s not a good thing. Don’t just wait to hear from her first, don’t even respond if she does. Or do, but keep it wind and weather and never initiate.
The fact that she avoided you at church means she’s hoping you get the hint but she’s afraid you won’t.
Great advice and I agree. She’s avoiding to lighten the blow. Someone said awhile back that they have found they usually found somebody else. That very well be the case but no matter what if this is how she leaves you hanging during a “break” then she shouldn’t expect you to wait around.
Don’t chase anyone who doesn’t want you and don’t wait for anyone who wouldn’t wait for you. Let this be the best year!6 -
if her legs/arms fall asleep very often0
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