What’s a red flag for you?

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Replies

  • MsCzar
    MsCzar Posts: 1,071 Member
    CacoEther wrote: »
    MsCzar wrote: »

    Leaves more great dads for the rest of us 🤷🏼‍♀️

    Absolutely! :)
  • vanityy99
    vanityy99 Posts: 2,583 Member
    MsCzar wrote: »
    < donning flame proof suit >

    IMO, a man with younger children would be a man who (excepting widower status) possesses poor mate-choosing skills at best, and/or has abandoned a woman and his young children at worst. My nieces are young - in their early 20's; so they are probably not life-experienced enough to deal with the dynamics of older children - or a man old enough to have them.

    If I had nephews, I'd probably give them the same advice. If a woman doesn't love and respect her daddy, RUN!

    Not saying there aren't ever exceptions. I know there always are; but that's the advice I'd give to better the odds.

    < ducks for cover > :)

    True.
    They are in different stages in their lives.
  • slessofme
    slessofme Posts: 7,740 Member
    CacoEther wrote: »
    MsCzar wrote: »
    < donning flame proof suit >

    IMO, a man with younger children would be a man who (excepting widower status) possesses poor mate-choosing skills at best, and/or has abandoned a woman and his young children at worst. My nieces are young - in their early 20's; so they are probably not life-experienced enough to deal with the dynamics of older children - or a man old enough to have them.

    If I had nephews, I'd probably give them the same advice. If a woman doesn't love and respect her daddy, RUN!

    Not saying there aren't ever exceptions. I know there always are; but that's the advice I'd give to better the odds.

    < ducks for cover > :)

    Leaves more great dads for the rest of us 🤷🏼‍♀️

    I'd take a dad doing his best to coparent really well over other options any day.

    But also... I'm hoping he doesn't want more kids or have kids younger than 10. My kids are older and I'm not looking to get half way decent at this phase (or middling because... teens) and move on to other joys/challenges, only to find myself staring that path down again. I may be experienced, but I'm going to be tired.
  • jruch23
    jruch23 Posts: 1,069 Member
    Is it a normal thing now for girls to tell their boyfriend they want a break or space for a while (1 month or longer) to think about things or do they really want to break up but just can't say it? My situation :/
  • vanityy99
    vanityy99 Posts: 2,583 Member
    edited January 2021
    jruch23 wrote: »
    Is it a normal thing now for girls to tell their boyfriend they want a break or space for a while (1 month or longer) to think about things or do they really want to break up but just can't say it? My situation :/

    We been saying that.

    Asking for a break is the cruelest thing one can ask for from another person. Here you are weeks, months later being hopeful, and waiting, wasting your time.
  • jessienani
    jessienani Posts: 60 Member
    vanityy99 wrote: »
    jruch23 wrote: »
    Is it a normal thing now for girls to tell their boyfriend they want a break or space for a while (1 month or longer) to think about things or do they really want to break up but just can't say it? My situation :/

    We been saying that.

    Asking for a break is the cruelest thing can one can ask for from another person. Here you are weeks, months later being hopeful, and waiting, wasting your time.

    My ex recommended a break and then hooked up with another dude.. Lol I am no fan of breaks :(
  • vanityy99
    vanityy99 Posts: 2,583 Member
    jessienani wrote: »
    vanityy99 wrote: »
    jruch23 wrote: »
    Is it a normal thing now for girls to tell their boyfriend they want a break or space for a while (1 month or longer) to think about things or do they really want to break up but just can't say it? My situation :/

    We been saying that.

    Asking for a break is the cruelest thing can one can ask for from another person. Here you are weeks, months later being hopeful, and waiting, wasting your time.

    My ex recommended a break and then hooked up with another dude.. Lol I am no fan of breaks :(

    I’ve seen it happen so many times the person is usually interested and getting to know someone else.
  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,286 Member
    jruch23 wrote: »
    Is it a normal thing now for girls to tell their boyfriend they want a break or space for a while (1 month or longer) to think about things or do they really want to break up but just can't say it? My situation :/

    Just want to clarify the timeline here...

    She wants to get back together just before Valentine's Day?

    Also, are you the same guy who went to church a few weeks ago and she avoided you the entire service?

    She's not fit for you, my friend.
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    edited January 2021
    jruch23 wrote: »
    Is it a normal thing now for girls to tell their boyfriend they want a break or space for a while (1 month or longer) to think about things or do they really want to break up but just can't say it? My situation :/

    Is this the person you saw outside of a church and they ignored you Or was that something I read in a book(I'm being serious here cause I'm really not sure)? But if it is then I'd try to move forward and get on with your life. You deserve to it instead of waiting in limbo. IMO, anyone who says 'I need space' is trying to take the easy comfortable(for them) way out. Don't invest any more of your one life in this person.

    ETA: Ah, ok, I see Malted Tea remembers the same post that I did so definitely let her go and go forward.
  • jruch23
    jruch23 Posts: 1,069 Member
    Yep, same guy. Last we talked was Jan 5th through text. She didn't even want to meet up in person. I was ready to call it quits. She says the break is needed but not sure if or when the break will end. It sucks. I fell hard for her. But contemplating trying to meet up tomorrow.
  • happimess01
    happimess01 Posts: 9,074 Member
    if she keeps licking her ring pop on our first date
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    happimess01 wrote: »
    if she keeps licking her ring pop on our first date

    You sure you put this in the right topic?
  • slessofme
    slessofme Posts: 7,740 Member
    In an app profile:

    "I'm an open book"

    If he fills an app generated question about weird attractions with "redheads".
  • happimess01
    happimess01 Posts: 9,074 Member
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    happimess01 wrote: »
    if she keeps licking her ring pop on our first date

    You sure you put this in the right topic?

    I try not to be predictable. What's the fun in that?
  • HerNameIsMischief
    HerNameIsMischief Posts: 158 Member
    How would you feel about dating someone who had no prior long-term dating experience? Do you try to find out about the guy's past dating experience beyond if he's married and has kids?
  • will_it_go_round_in_circles
    will_it_go_round_in_circles Posts: 985 Member
    HerNameIsMischief wrote: »
    How would you feel about dating someone who had no prior long-term dating experience? Do you try to find out about the guy's past dating experience beyond if he's married and has kids?

    I think it's all a matter of perspective

    You could say no experience

    Or

    You could shine a little light on that and say no bad relationship habits. Yet.

  • twitchandshout
    twitchandshout Posts: 1,591 Member
    he doesn’t get insulted when I say I only date *kitten*
  • happimess01
    happimess01 Posts: 9,074 Member
    Craiglist roommates
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    That pic he sends in a room with obvious woman touches and kids toys in the back ground.. not married, no kids? Pfft.. 🙄
  • twitchandshout
    twitchandshout Posts: 1,591 Member
    edited January 2021
    slimgirljo15 wrote: »
    That pic he sends in a room with obvious woman touches and kids toys in the back ground.. not married, no kids? Pfft.. 🙄

    If the walls are anything but beige or gray and if there is more than one house plant or if there’s framed art he’s trouble
  • chuckle_bunny
    chuckle_bunny Posts: 496 Member
    slimgirljo15 wrote: »
    That pic he sends in a room with obvious woman touches and kids toys in the back ground.. not married, no kids? Pfft.. 🙄
    Hey I'm a man of integrity. I tell no lies. If you must know, I happen to live with my mother and she takes care of my sister's kids. We still on for tonight?

  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    edited January 2021

    chuckle_bunny wrote: »
    slimgirljo15 wrote: »
    That pic he sends in a room with obvious woman touches and kids toys in the back ground.. not married, no kids? Pfft.. 🙄
    Hey I'm a man of integrity. I tell no lies. If you must know, I happen to live with my mother and she takes care of my sister's kids. We still on for tonight?

    Sounds legit.. Im in 😉
  • PlentyofProtein00
    PlentyofProtein00 Posts: 3,669 Member
    ^^^ :D many fancy hand soaps, pretty lotions, and live, love, laugh signs ive questioned apparently men are more sensitive and gentle than I thought
  • twitchandshout
    twitchandshout Posts: 1,591 Member
    PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »
    ^^^ :D many fancy hand soaps, pretty lotions, and live, love, laugh signs ive questioned apparently men are more sensitive and gentle than I thought
    And if he is with a woman who likes that kind of wall art then I know we are not a match
  • honeybee__12
    honeybee__12 Posts: 15,688 Member
    i0jlhqdn6cus.gif

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