Serious/heavy/deep/real stuff

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  • J_NY_Z
    J_NY_Z Posts: 2,535 Member
    J_NY_Z wrote: »
    J_NY_Z wrote: »
    When my ex wife and I were married we had several animals over the years. One cat, Ethel, was born in 2003. My youngest son was born in 1997. Ethel went downhill fast. I stopped over the house yesterday and my son, a man in his own right was sitting next to her stroking her head and telling her with tears in his eyes "...its ok..you can go, you don't have to hold on for me". There is nothing that will break you down faster than the pain of your children. She died soon after and we cried and reminisced together. While I've known that Ethel would die I did not know how much it affected him.

    I know those who have kids here are experiencing pain in different ways for different reasons. One step at a time, one day at a time, one issue at a time. We have no choice but to go forward.

    Less than a month after Ethel died, their dog Boba had to be put to sleep yesterday. Boba was sick and had gone downhill fast as well. Nature is cruel. Boba was a big strong pit bull. Yesterday he was reduced to a frail shell of himself. My ex wife and my son were crying and held him while he died. Again, seeing people that I love so upset stabs me as well. I whispered to him, "You are a good boy. You never did anything wrong and I love you. Thank you for taking care of them."

    Damn. Now I'm in my feelings. I'm so sorry for your losses.
    J_NY_Z wrote: »
    J_NY_Z wrote: »
    When my ex wife and I were married we had several animals over the years. One cat, Ethel, was born in 2003. My youngest son was born in 1997. Ethel went downhill fast. I stopped over the house yesterday and my son, a man in his own right was sitting next to her stroking her head and telling her with tears in his eyes "...its ok..you can go, you don't have to hold on for me". There is nothing that will break you down faster than the pain of your children. She died soon after and we cried and reminisced together. While I've known that Ethel would die I did not know how much it affected him.

    I know those who have kids here are experiencing pain in different ways for different reasons. One step at a time, one day at a time, one issue at a time. We have no choice but to go forward.

    Less than a month after Ethel died, their dog Boba had to be put to sleep yesterday. Boba was sick and had gone downhill fast as well. Nature is cruel. Boba was a big strong pit bull. Yesterday he was reduced to a frail shell of himself. My ex wife and my son were crying and held him while he died. Again, seeing people that I love so upset stabs me as well. I whispered to him, "You are a good boy. You never did anything wrong and I love you. Thank you for taking care of them."

    Im so sorry for yours and your families loss 😞

    Thank you ladies.
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    J_NY_Z wrote: »
    J_NY_Z wrote: »
    J_NY_Z wrote: »
    When my ex wife and I were married we had several animals over the years. One cat, Ethel, was born in 2003. My youngest son was born in 1997. Ethel went downhill fast. I stopped over the house yesterday and my son, a man in his own right was sitting next to her stroking her head and telling her with tears in his eyes "...its ok..you can go, you don't have to hold on for me". There is nothing that will break you down faster than the pain of your children. She died soon after and we cried and reminisced together. While I've known that Ethel would die I did not know how much it affected him.

    I know those who have kids here are experiencing pain in different ways for different reasons. One step at a time, one day at a time, one issue at a time. We have no choice but to go forward.

    Less than a month after Ethel died, their dog Boba had to be put to sleep yesterday. Boba was sick and had gone downhill fast as well. Nature is cruel. Boba was a big strong pit bull. Yesterday he was reduced to a frail shell of himself. My ex wife and my son were crying and held him while he died. Again, seeing people that I love so upset stabs me as well. I whispered to him, "You are a good boy. You never did anything wrong and I love you. Thank you for taking care of them."

    Damn. Now I'm in my feelings. I'm so sorry for your losses.
    J_NY_Z wrote: »
    J_NY_Z wrote: »
    When my ex wife and I were married we had several animals over the years. One cat, Ethel, was born in 2003. My youngest son was born in 1997. Ethel went downhill fast. I stopped over the house yesterday and my son, a man in his own right was sitting next to her stroking her head and telling her with tears in his eyes "...its ok..you can go, you don't have to hold on for me". There is nothing that will break you down faster than the pain of your children. She died soon after and we cried and reminisced together. While I've known that Ethel would die I did not know how much it affected him.

    I know those who have kids here are experiencing pain in different ways for different reasons. One step at a time, one day at a time, one issue at a time. We have no choice but to go forward.

    Less than a month after Ethel died, their dog Boba had to be put to sleep yesterday. Boba was sick and had gone downhill fast as well. Nature is cruel. Boba was a big strong pit bull. Yesterday he was reduced to a frail shell of himself. My ex wife and my son were crying and held him while he died. Again, seeing people that I love so upset stabs me as well. I whispered to him, "You are a good boy. You never did anything wrong and I love you. Thank you for taking care of them."

    Im so sorry for yours and your families loss 😞

    Thank you ladies.

    Aww man that's sad. :( Our hearts get so connected to our beloved animal family.
  • KickassAmazon76
    KickassAmazon76 Posts: 4,511 Member
    RAinWA wrote: »
    I have had a seriously sucky week. My step-mother died last weekend. She had been in failing health for awhile and was 89, but I am very sad to lose her and sad for everyone who loved her.

    Yesterday we got bad news about my husband's cancer and the doctors are basically doing a "hail Mary" round of chemo but are not hopeful at all. He is in pretty good spirits and still enjoying a good quality of life, it's just that the whole situation is unfair, miserable and is breaking my heart. Plus he lost all his hair (again) from the last round of radiation and is kind of bummed about that (although I think he looks really cute bald!) but said "it's just hair, maybe it will grow back again."

    This is absolutely the hardest thing I've ever done.

    My heart goes out to you. I am so very sad for your family's loss and for the battle your husband is fighting. I hope this hail Mary pass works and that he's able to recover. Sending you much love and support. ❤️
  • RAinWA
    RAinWA Posts: 1,980 Member
    RAinWA wrote: »
    I have had a seriously sucky week. My step-mother died last weekend. She had been in failing health for awhile and was 89, but I am very sad to lose her and sad for everyone who loved her.

    Yesterday we got bad news about my husband's cancer and the doctors are basically doing a "hail Mary" round of chemo but are not hopeful at all. He is in pretty good spirits and still enjoying a good quality of life, it's just that the whole situation is unfair, miserable and is breaking my heart. Plus he lost all his hair (again) from the last round of radiation and is kind of bummed about that (although I think he looks really cute bald!) but said "it's just hair, maybe it will grow back again."

    This is absolutely the hardest thing I've ever done.

    My heart goes out to you. I am so very sad for your family's loss and for the battle your husband is fighting. I hope this hail Mary pass works and that he's able to recover. Sending you much love and support. ❤️

    Thank you, you are so sweet. We are taking it a step at a time, a day at a time. I will always be grateful for the extra time I've already had with him.
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    RAinWA wrote: »
    RAinWA wrote: »
    I have had a seriously sucky week. My step-mother died last weekend. She had been in failing health for awhile and was 89, but I am very sad to lose her and sad for everyone who loved her.

    Yesterday we got bad news about my husband's cancer and the doctors are basically doing a "hail Mary" round of chemo but are not hopeful at all. He is in pretty good spirits and still enjoying a good quality of life, it's just that the whole situation is unfair, miserable and is breaking my heart. Plus he lost all his hair (again) from the last round of radiation and is kind of bummed about that (although I think he looks really cute bald!) but said "it's just hair, maybe it will grow back again."

    This is absolutely the hardest thing I've ever done.

    My heart goes out to you. I am so very sad for your family's loss and for the battle your husband is fighting. I hope this hail Mary pass works and that he's able to recover. Sending you much love and support. ❤️

    Thank you, you are so sweet. We are taking it a step at a time, a day at a time. I will always be grateful for the extra time I've already had with him.

    Wish there was a way to give you some real help. :(
    It's a terrible feeling. No way around it. I cannot tell you how sorry I am, also about your step-mother. You're definitely getting stormed on. {{HUGS}} I wish you peace, comfort and a strong circle of support surrounding the both of you during this time.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,440 Member
    RAinWA wrote: »
    I have had a seriously sucky week. My step-mother died last weekend. She had been in failing health for awhile and was 89, but I am very sad to lose her and sad for everyone who loved her.

    Yesterday we got bad news about my husband's cancer and the doctors are basically doing a "hail Mary" round of chemo but are not hopeful at all. He is in pretty good spirits and still enjoying a good quality of life, it's just that the whole situation is unfair, miserable and is breaking my heart. Plus he lost all his hair (again) from the last round of radiation and is kind of bummed about that (although I think he looks really cute bald!) but said "it's just hair, maybe it will grow back again."

    This is absolutely the hardest thing I've ever done.

    Im so sorry 😞 Its going to be an extremely tough time for you both one of the toughest is losing a loved one.
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    RAinWA wrote: »
    Thank you both. I was having a bit of a pity party earlier but I think sometimes I just need to go ahead and feel angry and sad for myself and then I can just get onto the next thing I need to do.

    That is 100% understandable and okay. Sometimes, anger can be beneficial.

    I recall having similar emotions/reactions when my stepmother took a steep decline in February due to cancer. It's such an unfair, cruel disease and it doesn't seem to care whether the person is young or old.

    You do what you need to for yourself. :heart:
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    RAinWA wrote: »
    Thank you both. I was having a bit of a pity party earlier but I think sometimes I just need to go ahead and feel angry and sad for myself and then I can just get onto the next thing I need to do.

    Yes, it's okay and expected to feel the feelings of all you're going through. It's a tough emotional situation. :(
    My sister has probably apologized for crying 100's of times while going through her pre/post loss of her dh. :( I told her she needs to cry, should feel free to cry, and it's actually expected. Her dd made her feel very uncomfortable for showing her emotions because then it made *her* uncomfortable as well. :( One thing I've learned is feelings and showing your emotions are perfectly acceptable.

    Just remember to keep taking care of YOU.
  • RAinWA
    RAinWA Posts: 1,980 Member
    Thanks for the understanding both of you - it makes me feel better about sometimes feeling like I'm weak for not being able to handle everything perfectly. I know that's not true but it's what it feels like sometimes.

    We keep going, one step at a time, one day at a time.
  • Versicolour
    Versicolour Posts: 7,164 Member
    My partner of 5 years has just dumped me by text messages.

    He deployed to Afghan after spending 6 weeks at home with me living our normal life. Waited two weeks and sent me four bunches of flowers and text me telling me it was over.

    After thorough discussion- turns out he cheated on me a year ago whilst on a job in America (which was brought up at the time but heavily denied) and the guilt of living a lie has killed him ever since.

    He’s dropped me and my children on our arses in the worst way possible as I’m a domestic abuse survivor from a previous relationship, with ptsd and gad. My head is focked. I’m struggling to cope. I don’t have a massive network as I struggle trusting people enough to let them in as I’m terrified of being hurt- now this.

    What an poop hole! I'm so sorry. I can relate to the ptsd from domestic abuse and the trust issues because of it. He did not deserve the 5 years you gave him and he did not deserve you. You are worthy of love and respect and he was clearly not capable of giving you either.

    If you want someone (completely random and never likely to see in person) to talk to, I am here.
  • RAinWA
    RAinWA Posts: 1,980 Member
    Cat0703a wrote: »
    @RAinWA you are going through something unbearably hard. I would safely bet that no one expects you to be stoic or brave all of the time. Heck, even most of the time!! I get putting on a brave face for your husband but I bet even he doesn’t expect that either. So please don’t put pressure on yourself to do it “perfectly”. Sending you a tight squeeze. And keep checking in with us here if it brings you relief. ❤️

    Thank you. You are absolutely right. I tend to be a bit hard on myself sometimes.
  • RAinWA
    RAinWA Posts: 1,980 Member
    My partner of 5 years has just dumped me by text messages.

    He deployed to Afghan after spending 6 weeks at home with me living our normal life. Waited two weeks and sent me four bunches of flowers and text me telling me it was over.

    After thorough discussion- turns out he cheated on me a year ago whilst on a job in America (which was brought up at the time but heavily denied) and the guilt of living a lie has killed him ever since.

    He’s dropped me and my children on our arses in the worst way possible as I’m a domestic abuse survivor from a previous relationship, with ptsd and gad. My head is focked. I’m struggling to cope. I don’t have a massive network as I struggle trusting people enough to let them in as I’m terrified of being hurt- now this.

    That is absolutely terrible - so sorry he's a jerk. You deserve to be treated with love and respect. Big hugs to you.