WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JULY 2021
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💙😊💚🤗❤️2
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M I think our son suffered from some kind of Brain trauma too! He played hockey as a youth and in highschool and I think it was a contributing facor to do with his illness.
The symtoms you described our son had many of them.
Living with someone who is having the issues you described is high stress. You are doing what you can to mitigate that stress.
I also found listening to meditation music helpful too.
Finding beauty everyday.
Finding humor.
Doing the things I enjoyed to give myself a mental break gardening, singing, reading for fun..
Occasionally throwing away my lists...(I do like order and control..the teacher in me) I would do this to give myself a break there are things as much as I want to fix things and control them I am just not that powerful. The weight of trying to do this became a stress in and of itself.
(((M)))
Parking update...
I did call owners of property. Management listened to my concerns. I suggested maybe they had a property that has more parking and that might be a solution. I did use your I risk an accident with the tenants double parking in the alley. It did not sound like e-mails are that effective with this company. Writing management and calling Parking Police just gives me a paper trail and helped me deal with my frustration whatever the outcome...So thank you friends for your support... it helped me tremendously and kept me from stress eating.
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I came over with Alfie to get Homer out,i didnt come and take him to my place.. he is almost completely blind now so you have to talk so he knows where you are..
He still likes to tell stories though and he has alot of them to tell lol
Lisa- i feel the same way..Tom said his Dr told him with age it comes with the territory2 -
KELLY ~ Happy 32nd Anniversary! May there be many more!
Carol in GA2 -
Kelly — Happy 32nd Anniversary!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️0
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Kelly- Happiest of Anniveraries xoxo0
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Kelli - happyyyyy anniiiiii!0
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KJ- HAPPYYYYYY ANNIVERSARYYYYYYY!!!!!
:drinker:
Love Heather UK xxxxxx0 -
Good morning!
I am enjoying reading the posts - such a motivating and supportive group. I look forward to getting to know you all better.
This morning was the first morning run of my marathon training - 4 miles before work. I used to run a ton and it is kind of messing with my mind that 3-4 miles is a lot of work for me now. I can't compare the now-me to the previous-me, but sometimes it creeps in. I will keep working on it. I packed my food and planned my day and am working hard to set myself up for success.
Have a wonderful day ladies!
Erin5 -
Snowflake1968 wrote: »Barbara - I don’t know how you can handle having bears so close. As a teen I read a newspaper article about this young girl my age who had a bear try to gain entrance to her house while she was making supper. I thought of that story often and wondered how she handled it. The picture with the article showed clearly where the bear tried to move the screen door out of its way. Move forward a couple years and I married her brother! They both talk about it if you ask the dogs barking didn’t scare that bear away.
I am terribly disappointed and angry about the hours since I was told several times to track my hours. I heard today that this is the reason our Administrator was let go at a previous job.
Machka - I agree. I weigh daily and used to track it for averages. I consistently lost 1/2lb a week but when I was weighing only once a week I became very discouraged because I may have had too much salt the day before or something.
R from Indiana - I used to have that mindset and finally just decided to log every day and see what happened, in doing that I was able to be mindful when I was in those situations that previously I would have said “might as well wait”.
Heather - thank you for the note to make my hubby aware. I will tell him tonight.
I used to eat a lot when he was away too. I think it was the boredom. I do better these days.
Michele - Like Machka I am tired most of the time too. There are numerous reasons that people have constant fatigue I think.
Debbie - I don’t know what happened to make you and your husband be at odds but I found this quite one night when I was at one of my lowest points with out our marriage. It said, “We didn’t have major issues I just expected him to “be more”, “do more”, etc. We hadn’t been connecting.
Tracey in Edmonton
in a nutshell- many years ago, my husband decided to totally shut me out. I thought I had done something wrong. I did not ask, didn't speak up(a bad trait I got when with hubby #1-) Finally I had had enough of being cook/maid/room mate at best. He told me it was because he THOUGHT the only reason I was with him was to make a baby(we were going through fertility problems at the time) So, out of SPITE he did this and sadly has continued to. I told him that is not what I was doing- yes, I really wanted a baby- had wanted one with hubby #1 but fertility issues didn't allow that. Now he says it is because of his hips(double hip replacement twice), his weight, he is too tired, ..... I joke that the cats or even the vacuum get more attention from him than I ever do.
He doesn't let things go- Not just with me but with everything.
I have tried over the years to do more for him/be more/etc- it is just very hard when it is not returned at all.
I was 75% ready to leave when my hubby #1 was widowed but before I was 100% sure, he remarried so that is not an option.
Things could be a lot worse but oh, they could and should be so much better.
Financially we are doing well but emotionally we are bankrupt.5 -
M in Oz your description of the symptoms of a frontal lobe injury fits my DH perfectly! He used to box and play hockey and baseball. Also used to fight (fist fight) with his brother. It would explain his behaviors. I’ll have to look into that more.
Went for a 20 minute walk this morning then remembered I was supposed to be at the visitor center helping with the landscaping. So did that too! Yesterday I got up and my phone reminded me of an oil change I had scheduled. Got dressed fast-no breakfast and went there to find I was scheduled a half hour earlier! But they were kind enough to fit me in. Almost home I live 20 miles from town) and remember I needed to get a 2 year old birthday gift and do laundry. Soooo. Got home, got laundry, and back to town I went! Monday and Sunday I worked at the boat rental place selling stuff for the park Friend‘s group of which I am a part of the board. Friday and Saturday were the UFO festival.
Now I think I can slow down for the day! Phew! Super busy!! Getting my steps in but was not good with food yesterday. Gotta get back to behaving!
I WILL NOT PUT THE WEIGHT BACK ON!
RvRita
RvRita4 -
THANK YOU- I printed it and will be taping it to my desk as a reminder. It is exactly what I needed.
Debbie0 -
FLEA. thinking of you and sending hug and healing thoughts
SHARON nice to see you!!
TRACEY if you are looking for a Mac it's supposed to be better to wait till new revamped model comes out this fall.1 -
nothing special here.
met a very old classmate a few days ago. he was all over the place years back, and we were not close at all, but we had many common close friends, so it was actually surprisingly cool to meet up.
nice work session yesterday with colleague, also online Sunday.
ran into neighbour and another neighbour who had been hitting on me sort of casually last fall (that's not my bag, and if every it were, I wasn't very drawn to him- he seems fine but I didn't feel much depth to the connection so I let it past. he then snubbed me which was a drag, not really him but he had been inviting me to little get togethers w neighbours : very handy as we were limited to 1km movement at first, and cafés and restaurants closed for 7 months. his friends, women and men, were great. but since he then snubbed me I stopped getting invited for a while. except one guy I kept running into. I ran into them on the way home and the 2nd guy invited me to have a apero (pre-dinner drink) with them on patio. I absolutely didn't want a drink so got something super light and bought the round. this seemed to soften the relation with guy one - who is a neighbour and close friend of a few neighbours who I find interesting....So that was a good thing.
Not a great working day today.
Painter came by to prep bathroom which has been in poor state since water damage some time ago. he was SO fast. in 2h he did all the prep, and then said all the painting will be done in a half a day or so.
talk about fast. summer probably helps with faster drying...getting a palish sunny yellow (slightly to orange). he said that's an "outside color" but I like it okay. Hard to choose. most is white here but I figured a change would be ok.
then sorted some computer thing - less bad than I thought - probably cost)free, but unable to get it done somehow.... I may need to bring it back to shop to have them update time machine...
it feels like a spend endless time on sorting out tech stuff.
my concentration and work motivation is very so so!
relaxing motivation is better.
got some pretty cloth at home to cover some busy shelves and I love it!!
WAY behind in all paper work
EXCEPT work for collective workers rights stuff.
not reasonable...
but that's where it's at.
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What a difference ! U can’t tell much in the pic but we had lights put in the garage
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Finally got my shirt and jersey for the MS Virtual Ride last year. U get the jersey if u raise 1k or more. Don’t think I will reach that this year 0:(
think I will reach that this year
0:(.
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Hello i am trying to continue on my weight reduction However im frustrated that the scale has not budged more than a 2-3 pounds in one month.4
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Allie -- Your poor granddaughter! Who wants to look like Cousin IT? I hope the hair dresser is skilled and your granddaughter feels good about herself. Back in the day, my mom took me to get a permanent. I looked like Harpo Marx and I got a lot of teasing at school. It took forever to grow out so that I could look like a regular kid again. :flowerforyou:
(((Tracey in Edmonton))) – No advice, just HUGS.
Rita -- I am impressed with all that you accomplish. WTG!!! :bigsmile:
Pip – I love your T-Shirt collection and the service you give to MS patients everywhere by riding in the Virtual MS Classic.
I had a good Yoga class this morning and am back at home.
Many years ago I inherited a hand-made Grandmother clock that now needs work. I have a phone number for a nearby clock repair shop. The clock was a gift for my mom from her sister. It is a family treasure and I want to get it serviced and the problem solved. Now, DH is waiting for a phone call. When that is done, I’ll give the clock shop a call.
Katla in NW Oregon
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Thanks katla I do it for u and your hubby3
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Stats for the day-
Walk w/family- 2hrs 30min 20sec, 3.17ap, 195elev, 80ahr, 122mhr, 8.02mi= 751c
Strava app = 972c
Zwift home spin bike- 15.05min, 130ahr, 155mhr, 131elev, 20.21amph, 144aw, 58arpm, 5.08mi= 156c
Zwift app = 125c
Walk to gym- 10.51min, .51mi= 50c
Strava app = 62c
Treadmill jog - 32.07min, 10.35min mi, 5.5-6.5sp, 133ahr, 155mhr, 5k= 345c
Walk gym to home- 11.23min, .55mi= 55c
Strava app = 67c
Total cal 13572 -
OregonMother wrote: »OregonMother wrote: »But the fireworks were lovely, and I adore watching baseball. I'm not sure I'll take hubby next time, if I ever go again. I knew he wasn't a fan of baseball -- not of any sports at all -- but I thought he liked fireworks. He was complaining afterwards about the traffic and said we should have left the show early because "my ADHD was kicking in anyway, and I really wanted to get out of there." Sigh. I hate that so much because I really did have a nice time and thought we were having a great family outing, despite the near miss to my head. But I guess not.
Flea
Willamette Valley, OR
He's not had a frontal lobe knock at some point in his life, has he?
I don't know if you are joking or serious, but if I had liquid in my mouth, it would have spewed all over my computer. It is hysterical.
But no. No brain damage.
Flea
Willamette Valley, OR
I was actually serious because what you've described of your husband is similar to how a person with frontal lobe damage might be.
https://www.healthline.com/health/frontal-lobe#function
What does your frontal lobe do?- attention and concentration
- reasoning and judgment
- organization and planning
- problem-solving
- regulation of emotions and mood, including reading the emotions of others
- personality expression
- motivation, including evaluating rewards, pleasure, and happiness
- impulse control
- controlling social behaviors
- and more (see website).
I've been taking a course on Understanding Traumatic Brain Injury and of course I'm living with someone with severe traumatic brain injury. Some of my husband's brain injury is to the frontal lobe so I see and deal with some of the mood stuff just about every day. For example, we'll be doing something and I think it's all going well ... and then all of a sudden he's upset about some random thing and we've got to go.
M in Oz
He doesn't have most of these, but he legitimately does have ADHD, has had it since a child. Couple that with narcissism, and he doesn't have much patience for things that he wasn't initially interested in, and he can even get tired of things that he was interested in! But he can focus on complex technical problems for hours, seemingly without getting tired. Perhaps because of great personal interest?
So his better nature said, "my wife and son want to go to a baseball game and watch fireworks, and we only do this once a year, so I can handle it." But then the game went long (14-4), so by time the fireworks started he was already antsy, then we had traffic getting out of the stadium, and he had reached his limit and was probably regretting his better nature. We didn't get home until almost 11, and he was complaining even the day after about how stressful it all was. Only because he made it so.
Flea
Willamette Valley, OR7 -
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Having a down day today. got in fight with angsty teenager last night. DH took their side, which just ticked me off. Had to go into my office to work today (as opposed to working from home, which I do several days a week since covid) so been spending the day dreading going home with unresolved fight with everyone. Going camping tomorrow and I just don't even want to do it now. I don't think I'm wrong on the issue the fight was over, but it's about angsty teen and not me. And kid is 18 in a month. I feel so like I screwed this one up and now it's too late to fix. Anyway - nothing I can do other than accept kid's decision or don't. But neither will make any difference. Feel like I just want them to finish school and go on to college just so I don't have to deal with the drama every stinking day. But we're not allowed to give up on our kids, right? I'm just tired tired tired of it all. And on top of that, scale was up this morning. Gross.8
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Afternoon ladies
Took Tal for the haircut and she was practically in tears she was so happy with the haircut.. its short but she loves it...
Karen always does a spectacular job ... makes me happy to see her happy .. but she doesnt like babies,told her good luck .. she said they cry,they smell and she isnt feeding the baby or changing a diaper lol..
We shall see how it goes..
Dan staying overnight to use the internet .. he did take out the garbage for me..3 -
England won, so they are in the European Cup finals on Sunday against Italy.
The cricket ended up a draw, which was disappointing for DH, but the football cheered him up. I nurtured him with delicious salmon, fennel and leek dish, and provided him with dessert, cheese, chocolate and Pernod. I am sleeping upstairs again though as I had a long nap today, so I'm not tired. I will rejoin him tomorrow night. It does feel a bit strange, having hardly seen him for four days and been doing my own thing. Got to get used to sharing my space again. 
Love to all Heather UK xxxxxxxx2 -
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD, I am falling in love with my cast iron pans! As long as I put water in them right after using them, then scrubbing with coarse salt, its good. Last night I was heating up the water in the pan to loosen the bits, and I was writing letters at the same time. Boiled all the water and heard a sizzling sound. Eek! Kind of the opposite thing I was wanting to happen. Need to set a timer next time. Check water in 5 minutes! I was still able to scrub it clean though. (Phew!)
Athena pics
Athena walks trails
Next week we visit!💖👍
Rebecca
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Regarding the brain ... here are a couple images with a list of what each lobe in the brain is responsible for. There are slight differences between the images because researchers aren't 100% sure. There is some variation between people.
In my husband's case, he has a spot on his frontal lobe which is "dead" scar tissue now, and quite a bit of his left temporal lobe is "dead" scar tissue.
He also has a diffuse axonal injury which means that little spots all over have been affected. Axons were sheared and no longer transmit the information.
In my husband's case, it was a severe traumatic brain injury ... but yes, concussion (mild brain injury) and especially repeated concussion can have a long term detrimental effect on the brain.
The course I'm currently taking (Understanding TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) is part of the Island Project: https://island.mooc.utas.edu.au/
The Island Project is the world's largest dementia prevention study. "The Island Study Linking Ageing and Neurodegenerative Disease (ISLAND) Project will involve a range of studies that relate to understanding who is at most risk of dementia and how we can self-manage risk behaviours to build resilience to dementia."
In addition to the Understanding TBI course, they've also got courses on Understanding and Preventing Dementia which I may take as well since there is evidence that brain injury (even repeated concussion) can be a factor in the development of dementia.
Machka in Oz
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Having a down day today. got in fight with angsty teenager last night. DH took their side, which just ticked me off. Had to go into my office to work today (as opposed to working from home, which I do several days a week since covid) so been spending the day dreading going home with unresolved fight with everyone. Going camping tomorrow and I just don't even want to do it now. I don't think I'm wrong on the issue the fight was over, but it's about angsty teen and not me. And kid is 18 in a month. I feel so like I screwed this one up and now it's too late to fix. Anyway - nothing I can do other than accept kid's decision or don't. But neither will make any difference. Feel like I just want them to finish school and go on to college just so I don't have to deal with the drama every stinking day. But we're not allowed to give up on our kids, right? I'm just tired tired tired of it all. And on top of that, scale was up this morning. Gross.
My sons were all in the Navy right out of high school, my now 22yr old has been stationed in Japan since 2018. I would give my right arm to argue with him, just have a conversation with him😢😢. Just my two cents.💖👍
Rebecca5 -
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Good morning!
I am enjoying reading the posts - such a motivating and supportive group. I look forward to getting to know you all better.
This morning was the first morning run of my marathon training - 4 miles before work. I used to run a ton and it is kind of messing with my mind that 3-4 miles is a lot of work for me now. I can't compare the now-me to the previous-me, but sometimes it creeps in. I will keep working on it. I packed my food and planned my day and am working hard to set myself up for success.
Have a wonderful day ladies!
Erin
Well done!
I've got a 6.2 km run on August 1 and I need to get off my butt and start running! I did a 5K in late May and have run a bit since, but really need to make it a more regular part of my week.
I've got my eye on longer runs as time goes by too.
Machka in Oz3
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