OK, let's talk

I think the groups with self-moderators are good idea. I don't get too easily offended... and I think it is sad that people cannot have open discussions on any topic.

You could also offer separate 'chit chat' forums with 'ratings' such as PG-17, G, etc. This way the parents that are in the living room with their kids are responsible for selecting a G rated forum.

Seriously I dont understand why if you ee a post that says bikin pics and you have a kid in the room you would still go into the thread if you have an issue with your kids seeing someone in a bikini
Thank you for trying to improve things I look forward to groups

I think things have gotten out of hand the last few weeks but by both sides of the "sex chat" isle. I am a firm believer that if you don't like something, you have the freedom to not partake. I think complaing about others partaking in sexual conversations but seeking them out is like saying you hate alcohol but show up at a bar and complain that beer is being served

^^^I agree with all of that.

Thanks so much for the site, Mike, and for doing your best to moderate. This place has become very important to me over the last 7 months or so. I love how it has helped me and all of the great people in my friends list. However, I think you and your mods have taken a very heavy hand in censoring things as of late. In your efforts to keep the site from changing, it is changing drastically in a different direction. I've lost great supportive and successful friends. People who meant a lot to me in my journey here. The fact of the matter is that we are all supposed to be adults here. Yes, sometimes adults are flirty and vulgar, but as long as that is kept in the chit-chat forum I don't see how anyone should be complaining about it. We have a choice to click or not click on a topic. We even have a choice to avoid the forums all together. No one is being forced to read offensive material. I think some people miss their days as high school hall monitor and want the other "kids" to stop having fun. As long as no one is being personally harassed abused, or stalked I think things should just be left alone. If someone does something that truly deserves moderating, warn them and delete that particular post. Unless the entire thread is just a train-wreck of truly offensive material, there is no need to delete the entire thread. You had said something earlier about how you want to make this a place where everyone can be comfortable all of the time. Well, it's just not possible to please everyone. Welcome to the wonderful world of the internet. It's a rough place, people. Put on your helmet and buckle up or turn off your computer and go watch Jay Leno.

In keeping with the positive, constructive dialogue here, I would like to share another point of view here. I do not think it is right to allow the "kids" to have full reign of the forum and tell others they can choose to "avoid the forums all together". I do not think it's right to seek out a topic that you know will offend you, then complain about it. However, I should not have to avoid the forums all together, even the chit-chat section, just because something may pop up in a thread I'm on (which happens often). I choose to address those comments myself, as opposed to reporting them or leaving the discussion. I see that does not help the situation, though. I think the groups will help allow the "kids" to play among themselves. We will still have the problem with trolls. I think we should all be able to help the mods with trolls, though. I am not a prude, a tattle-tale, or an overly sensitive bible thumper, but I cannot sit by and watch someone get harassed or allow indecent, horribly tasteless comments go without addressing them. I'm all for a positive, constructive debate, but disagreeing on here ends up going bad. I think it's awesome that we are such a diverse group. We come from different countries, religions, races, socio-economic backgrounds. We can all learn from each other. That won't happen if we bash each other for our differences, though. I apologize to anyone who thought I was doing that when I was speaking up against certain comments.

I am not going to derail this but perhaps part of the problems arise by this very thing,you have said you want a positive post but laced it with judgmental innuendo with frequent references to "kids" as if there are those here beneath you.
I only bring this up because maybe you are not actually realizing you might be a part of the problem and a thoughtful look inside could be helpful.

Will leave it there,no desire for a flame war on this thread. :flowerforyou:

No, you misunderstood me. I was quoting "kids" because that's how the person above me referred to them. I wasn't referring to them as younger than myself or beneath me. I was merely using the term in the quote I was responding to.. Again, sorry if it came across that way.

I have one suggestions.

when quoting others in a thread can the original poster of the quoted text be listed with the quote.

this would clear up a lot of misunderstanding of who said what.

I love this site and totally appreciate what is done to keep it at no cost to us. I don't think making it paid would reduce anything - I think it would make it worse!! (I PAY to be here so I can say whatever the **** I want)

massive wholehearted agreement with this sentiment.

As always, MFP has changed my life and I adore you guys for being so generous and amazing. A million thanks isn't enough for all this site has brought to my life.

Thanks Mike

In keeping with the positive, constructive dialogue here, I would like to share another point of view here. I do not think it is right to allow the "kids" to have full reign of the forum and tell others they can choose to "avoid the forums all together". I do not think it's right to seek out a topic that you know will offend you, then complain about it. However, I should not have to avoid the forums all together, even the chit-chat section, just because something may pop up in a thread I'm on (which happens often). I choose to address those comments myself, as opposed to reporting them or leaving the discussion. I see that does not help the situation, though. I think the groups will help allow the "kids" to play among themselves. We will still have the problem with trolls. I think we should all be able to help the mods with trolls, though. I am not a prude, a tattle-tale, or an overly sensitive bible thumper, but I cannot sit by and watch someone get harassed or allow indecent, horribly tasteless comments go without addressing them. I'm all for a positive, constructive debate, but disagreeing on here ends up going bad. I think it's awesome that we are such a diverse group. We come from different countries, religions, races, socio-economic backgrounds. We can all learn from each other. That won't happen if we bash each other for our differences, though. I apologize to anyone who thought I was doing that when I was speaking up against certain comments.

Now see, this is a perfect example of someone who will start a flame war. Your obvious use of disrespecful language by calling grown adults "kids" and putting it in quotes if very confrontational, regardless of who used it prior. You come off sounding condescending. This is the internet where millions of people interact, if not billions. Note that the tones you used in your post is one of the problems, not a solution.

^^this

I just want to point out that forum craziness always happens during a full moon.

Seriously. I've been running my dating forum for 12 years, and every full moon, there's a bongwater spill on aisle 12. :laugh:

"You can't please everyone, so you gotta please yourself" is the best line from any song ever. You'll never make everyone happy. Set guidelines that you're comfortable with, and let the pieces fall into place. You'll lose just as many people who get offended by what's said as you'll lose those who are offended by what can't be said.

The majority of folks are able to get along, despite differing opinions and beliefs. Those who can't or won't get long really need to step away from the computer a bit more. I've met a lot of fantastic people on MFP, and had fantastic results from using the site. I'm sure as heck not going to let some uptight [insert word of choice here] ruin MY enjoyment of the site, and storm off in a princess foot-stomping fit.

I saw a lot of folks throw around "freedom of speech." That applies to government, not to privately owned websites. The government can't stop you from telling someone on the pregnant pee diet they're an idiot, but Mike can. And since it's his site, he gets to make the rules.

I like to compare my forum to a party at my house. Everyone is welcome, and I hope they all have a great time. The mods are the really good friends who bring some booze or a side dish, or stay late to help me clean up. Mingle, flirt, become friends, whatever. I've even had several folks meet on my site and get married! But sometimes you get someone who tries to get the dog drunk, or pees in my potted plants, or insults the other party guests... and that's not cool.

So we're all guests here at Mike's house. He's doing a LOT for us, and all he asks is we respect a few simple guidelines. No biggie.

If you don't like it, you can get your money back.

bump...to read later

All I have to say is THANKS. This is a site for anyone and everyone and they all need to be comfortable to come here and get what I have received from so many. I have made many many new friends and have lost 106 pounds to date and without this site, MFP friends, and myself there is no way I would have had so much success. So again,

THANKS THANKS THANKS for saving my LIFE!!!!

My problem is the absolute ban on "sexuality" posts, but what that really means is *sexual orientation*. You've compared it to religion, etc and said there are no posts allowed about religion or politics, etc.

BUT, it's different. it isn't a topic ABOUT being gay. People just want to post to find other LGBT people to friend. That's it.

Just like I've seen people here request "kosher" recipes, or "halal" recipes. Though those are religions dietary restrictions, they aren't posts ABOUT religion. Those are just people looking for help from others regarding a topic that happens to *intersect* with religion.

The groups is a great idea. But, in the interim, I don't see why posts where someone happens to mention that they are gay and seeking other LGBT friends should be banned. If THAT is considered talking about "sexuality," then I want every single post wherein someone mentions their husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc banned. I fail to see how there's any difference and that too isn't talking about "sexuality."