Less Alcohol ~ JULY 2021 ~ One Day At A Time
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I have to work on my relationship with alcohol just like I work on my relationship with people. Having every other day AF is one of my most important rules. I’ve lost about 20 pounds. Another important point is HALT. That is definitely a trigger to drink. So when I feel lonely and tired, I go to bed now. It means I’m sleeping more and still, when I am up I am happier and more energetic so that works out.😊13
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Yes, I had forgotten about HALT, but sooo true. Was that Hungry-Angry-Lonely-Tired? Let's add Thirsty, Bored, and Depressed. HALT-TBD. My husband re-started regular all-afternoon drinking again on weekends as he's doing work in the hot garage and the hot backyard. The excuses: Thirsty and Tired. There you go...at least he is not drinking in front of me because that would make me want to run out and get a cold bottle of something fizzy and alcoholic.
65 something AF days left, losing count.
@lilylady3k oh I can relate to the whole retirement stress thing. It makes me go through bags of chips.
My husband retires in a year. Now I am leaning towards staying in AZ but finding land 2-3hrs away from "the kids" and get starting on building a house while I am working. We have places in the 4000-6000 ft altitude "sweet spot" for weather that won't kill us with increasing heat since our plan is to do a lot of trail running into our old age so we need lots of nice sunny days and a high of 60F during the winter is just right. While I am working we can get a construction loan then pay it off when we sell our main house and move. I could get solar panels and the big yard I always wanted for a vegetable garden and a chicken coop. This is sounding good. Now I have to make sure the place has the mountain view, deer, birds, and bunnies and I can sell this idea to husband after he has his Sunday afternoon IPA....
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@globalhiker Your plan sound wonderful! My DH & I may retire in about 5 years... just now bouncing around ideas, but it will depend a lot on where our "kids" are at that time, don't want to be too far away from any of them. The idea of moving away from the busy city, away from the horrific traffic, to a place with a bit more outdoor space is what I want. We live in southern California. Thinking about heading north. DH will most likely be happy as long as he can get his cable sports channels and be near a bowling alley!
I had a good week and stuck to my plan, 6 AF days, and a shot +seltzer, almost. The bar didn't have a seltzer I would like, so I had a Watermelon Ice... half way into it, I looked up on MFP how many calories it had, 228 for only 1 bottle! I gave the rest to DH. I need to repeat this, it was really nice seeing a loss on the scale, and I just feel so much better.
All good, but then kinda went off the rails last night, had the equivalent of 3 shots...
then the mindless munching kicked in, something I didn't do the past week... for me drinking and mindless munching are tied together. I am planning to be AF for the next 5 days, have something on Fri, and then planning another 6 AF after that. 
Now I want a Fancy Glass to drink my sparking water from!
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@globalhiker love HALT TBD LOL😃5
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@globalhiker - Sounds like a wonderful plan for retirement! One of my daughter's friend's parents bought a piece of land about an hour outside Houston area in Brenham. They built the guest house first and a pool. Guest house has 2 bedrooms on one side and 2 bedrooms on the other side of a compact kitchen living area with stacked washer dryer. This is for each of their two daughters to have their own space when they have hubbies and kids visiting. Each girl gets 2 rooms for their family
Now they have started building on the main house which is large living & kitchen space, master bedroom space and 1 guest bedroom. Very cool how they decided to handle the build out and design.
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This is SOOO delish and adult tasting! I'm on my second. Calling it a New Fashioned. The Old Fashioned would have me either under or dancing on top of the table instead of setting it for dinner. It's not in my fav glass cuz it's at the cabin, but this one does the trick (though I have to hold with two hands like a 2 year-old).
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AF today. I am now even between AF days and drinks days this month. Started 8 of 9 drink days so made great progress.
Goal to end month with more AF days than drinking days. Next planned drinks Tuesday after golf with the gals.
AF - 9
Drinks - 96 -
@mainelylisa - That is Fresca and what? Love for you to share your recipe!5
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The stemmed glass that makes me feel special and my mocktails so enjoyable and satisfying.
Watermelon Wonder Kombucha. How ya like my garnish? Remember making melon ball fruit baskets? LOL
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@GiveHerGrace You're doing awesome!
@Lilylady3k 2 parts Fresca, 1 part blood orange bitters, 1/2 part lemon. Though I think subbing 1 part grapefruit for the lemon would kick it up a notch! I just made it up. I'm going to practice fancy citrus peeling.
@MissMay So creative and I LUV the glass! Honestly for Halloween you could draw a temporary mouth on it and this mocktail would look like a 3-eyed silly monster frog. 5 -
@MissMay - love your glass.
@mainelylisa - Thanks for the suggestion / recipe!
4 glasses of wine this evening. Stopping there. Paco & Lola Albarino (Spanish) ... one of my favorite white wines. No more wine for this chick tonight.8 -
Can't get enough of the glassware! Love it.6
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My usual goal, 16-20 AF for the month. This is sustainable long term for me.
Monday July 12 - AF - Time to rack up some AF days.
Tuesday July 13 - AF - Back to day shifts tomorrow after 2 evening shifts in a row. Body is a bit out of whack as is my eating schedule.
Wednesday July 14 - AF - Into another heatwave here, but not as intense as the last one. I was working day shift at the restaurant, so it was nice and cool in there.
Thursday July 15 - Drinks. Started with a mini champagne out of a 3-pack, then had 2 more drinks.
Friday July 16 - AF - Day off tomorrow, so I was tempted. I had months without a day off, so was indulging a bit once I began to have them on the regular.
Saturday July 17 - Drinks, 2 1/2 (1/2 a can of Ginsmash from the fridge). I hadn't intended to have drinks today. I went for an early morning trail, and then worked my butt off in the yard/garden all day. I didn't even think about it, just grabbed the ginsmash and an iced glass from the freezer and sat on the shaded front porch sweat still dripping down. I might not be trying hard enough for the AF days this month yet.
Sunday July 18 - AF - Planned cocktails with 3 different sets of people tomorrow. I will keep the first 2 to 1/2 ounce each because they are both in Kimberley where I have a small job first. The last stop is walking distance in Cranbrook, but I won't go hog wild.
Rolling total - 9 AF days out of 18 days7 -
July accountability:
13 dry
5 not dry
With thirteen days to go.....I believe I will go the rest of July AF because my more than two drinks last Wednesday evening have left me feeling sluggish. It could be in my head, or it could be the weather and allergies. Either way AF it is at least through July 31st.
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dawnbgethealthy wrote: »
Thank you so much!4 -
@mainelylisa your mock ole fashion is beautiful. I like the color layers in it. I see you used bitters. When we get together soon I will bring my new coffee bitters to show you. They say it is great in cocoa. YUMMY.
@Lilylady3k and @globalhiker I am facing the same retire/moving issue. It has been in a forward motion for in my mind for a year now. Getting rid of "stuff" seems to be the hardest. My husband holds on to items from when he was a toddler and he also likes to collect(or hoard as I refer to it) paper items, greeting cards,magazines, catalogs, newspapers, takeout menus. It is a nightmare.
Well something is going to have to get thrown out because all his stuff is not going to fit into the future home on wheels(RV) I mean come on, taleout menus from a place we will never go back to ever, they probably closed during the pandemic anyways.
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Oooh, that’s a tough one. Is his issue that he really just doesn’t like Houston, or that he wants you to put up boundaries with your family, especially financial? I totally understand your desire to stay connected with your friends, kids and community!!!!Lilylady3k wrote: »4 glasses of wine last night. This weekend has been mentally tough. DH is really pushing to move away as he retires. I want to stay within 5 hr drive of the kids while he wants to move out of state or even Europe ... far far away. This has been an ongoing discussion all of 2021 but it is starting to get more real as he could decide to retire in August or December this year instead of waiting 2 more years when he is 62. So I've been cleaning out the house anticipating that there is no way I can take all this with us that we've collected or everything that is stored in a huge walk-in attic. The idea of moving elsewhere away from the kids and all the community I’ve built up over the past 30 years in Houston is starting to stress me out. He is also pushing for me to sell the camp next to my mom and distance ourselves more from family. Even more so as we anticipate a grandchild in December ... he feels like he is getting pigeon holed here.
His parents passed away back in the early 80s & 90s and his brothers & sisters never call or invite us over ... I keep in touch with our nieces that live in Houston and his older brother that lives here (never married and we are his go to for medical as well). But it is always us trying to reach out to his family so he is done with that. My family mom, sister and brother call almost daily and we have to deal with my mom and my sister's medical issues and my brother's financial issues (I've bailed him out of foreclosure 4x) and my mom's financial issues since social security is not enough for her to live on. They don't have anyone else to look after them and it all falls back on me.
Drinking more, not paying attention to the meal planning, not sleeping well (dreams of what if) and in general riddled with anxiety have kicked into high gear this weekend.
7/16 - 3 wine
7/17 - 4 wine
I have to say, bailing out your brother 4 times did not make him any better with money, and it’s only a matter of time when he needs you to do so again. If your mom doesn’t have any savings beyond her social security (which nobody can live on), I suspect he learned his habits from her. Maybe the better thing to do would be to get them both Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace university to learn the baby steps to being debt free, and financially free. At least check out the podcast.
I can honestly see your husband being tired of basically supporting three households. Maybe he wants your family to take on a much bigger role caring for your mom. Maybe he thinks that moving far away is the only way to get you to set stronger boundaries. Or, he just hates flat, hot and humid and wants to live in the cool mountain air. Regardless, it’s important to get to the root of why you really want to stay, and why he really wants to go.
Meanwhile, you sound like the hinge keeping your side of the family together. Could the drinking and not taking care of yourself be your body’s way of telling you you need to step away from the role or family manager? Because if you fall apart, someone else has to step up, right? What better way for you to crap out than severe Heath issues from drinking too much and letting your health and fitness go. Or, you can make the choice to let others stand or fall on their own. I suspect that suddenly you won’t need to drink so much if you take control of the situation.
A lot of ponderables to ponder, I know!7 -
@MissMay I love love love that glass! So pretty and vintage! The melon ball garnish makes it extra special.
I did well this weekend. Only one drink Friday and Sunday night. Saturday night I had a glass of wine with dinner and some Sambuca afterwards. While delicious, I was a little hung over yesterday. I really just can’t do the liqueurs and expect a good day. Something about how sweet they are makes me feel kind of lousy the next day.
Good news, I finally got on my boat! Too windy for the sail, but we were able to putt putt around the bay for a little while. Here she is, the Ancestrale!!!
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Cool boat, looks like fun @Womona
Fresca and bitters sounds good @mainelylisa . Should be zero calories or close to it.
So I failed myself on Sunday and drank after dinner. And too much. Let's just leave it at that. Stupid move on my part and it started with dealing with a grouch in the house. I suppose day 1 AF starts again today.
Today is a new day....8 -
Hmm. I could have sworn I checked in earlier today (I know I did) but I can't see the post now?!?
Oh Well. Happy Monday all.
I'm on 10 days AF for July as of Sunday night. I had drinks Saturday and Friday but I am noticing that even on the days I do drink I'm drinking less recently.
I loved reading all your posts over the weekend both positive and challenging. It give's me a sense of shared journey.8 -
I am going to try drinking less. I have been in a habit since Covid started of having 6-8 rum and diet cokes a night, and I know that's not sustainable.12
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Welcome, @bionicrooster ! You've come to the right place for support to drink less--whatever that means to you? It's often easier to take baby steps--maybe cut back to 5...then 4...toward whatever your goal is.8
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Finally had a drink with friends after around 80 days, and one drink was all it took for me to get a nice buzz going so I stopped at that... didnt keep looking for the next one. So I am hoping to continue the trend of drinking minimally. Other than that had a beer yesterday evening with another friend while getting pizza.
I am okay with this, but still trying to keep it a couple of days a week at the most if not 0 days. Also no more looking for the next drink once I start. The break has helped with my control I believe.14 -
@dethstar77 I hope this works for you! It did not for me, but all our brains are different. My therapist thinks that my brain receptors globbed onto my one drink after a 140 day break, and while I wasn't always looking for the next one, it was. :-)8
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@Womona Looking good! (and the boat too) 4
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@Womona Very nice boat!!! You look happy which I’d great too.
AF this evening. I was the only one at book club without wine at the restaurant. I was okay with this decision. One friend asked what was up … I said I drank last night enough for both nights and needed a break. Guess she didn’t notice that I didn’t drink last month either. It is easy for me to skip when we have such a talkative group and every is only drinking 1 glass with dinner.
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One glass with dinner last night. Happy I stopped. Now that I’ve cut way back, I really feel that one drink! I totally understand , @dethstar77 !!! Isn’t that wild?5
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