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Does your doctor comment on your weight?
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wunderkindking wrote: »Size is not an identity (or, well I suppose some plus sized/health at every size influencers have made it one, but that's not a good thing)
Actually, plus size influencers have been a huge encouragement to me and so good for my mental health. Plus size women have been discriminated against for so long. Women are constantly pressured to look like impossible Photoshopped supermodels who are so skinny it’s unhealthy. No wonder so many girls have body image issues and low self esteem and depression. Even if they eat healthy and live an active lifestyle and are physically fit, they still get labeled “unhealthy” if they have a naturally bigger body size. Yes, I said naturally bigger. Some women eat super healthy and exercise like crazy and have great fitness and they are STILL plus size. Because it’s genetic. And that CAN’T be changed.
I’m not saying that every overweight person is healthy. I know I need to lose weight. But you CAN be overweight by BMI and still be healthy if you have muscle mass and an active lifestyle and good diet. You can also be skinny and very unhealthy if you don’t live a good lifestyle. Healthy doesn’t equal skinny but people think it does because society constantly pushes skinny as the standard and naturally bigger women feel like they can never attain it. Plus size women don’t get equal representation in the media and their bodies are not normalized like skinny people. I am glad we have plus size influencers pushing back against that!!wunderkindking wrote: »Identity is who you are. Inside. Not what you LOOK LIKE, or how heavy you are.
Exactly, and that’s why I don’t identify as “morbidly obese”. I know my body and I know my fitness level and I know that “morbidly obese” doesn’t fit who I am on the inside.
Yes, I’m overweight and I admit that and that’s why I’m here. I am overweight. But I am also a relatively healthy and relatively average woman. ”Morbidly obese” is an awful term and makes it sound like I’m freaking 400 pounds. That’s not me. My weight has actually been pretty average my whole life and I only gained weight recently because of the pandemic. I am chubby but I don’t think anybody would look at me and say “she’s morbidly obese”!3 -
Yes, especially the one I see for sleep apnea. I am already seeing some improvements with weight loss.5
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@CurvyEmmy
Those "Photoshopped supermodels who are so skinny are unhealthy" are not good role models. If they are photoshopped to look more gaunt, then they aren't even that skinny in real life. Those that are do not have a healthy BMI. They would be healthier if they put on a little mass. Being undereweight has health implications just like being overweight, obese, or morbidly obese.
If you don't have a caliper or access to someone who can measure your body fat percent, there's lots of resources on the internet that let you get a rough guess from pictures. This is one example. There's lots more. Where do you estimate you would fall on that comparison?
Yes, people can be a healthy weight and not healthy. People can be underweight and not healthy. Being overweight, obese, or morbidly obese comes with physical health implications. If you flat out deny that, there's nothing else I can write that would help you be realistic.
If you continue to disagree with what I write, I would love for you to specify exactly what you disagree with. I am sort of direct; others have written more eloquently than I have. I have written nothing that is inaccurate or judgemental.
There's a difference between loving yourself at any weight and the idea that being healthy at any size is accurate. I think I know what you mean by "plus size influencers," and I think they do a disservice to people who would be healthier if they lost weight but don't want to put in the effort. Losing weight to a healthy mass is simple for sure, and it's also not easy for most people.
I am glad that you are deciding to make changes to be a more healthy you. Please keep it up and keep us apprised of your success.
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I loved myself when I was obese. I never had a problem with how I looked. I never had a problem with who I was. I liked the clothes I had, the life I lived, and the sports I played.
I also loved myself enough to recognize that, at middle aged and not getting younger, I deserved to take care of myself at least as well as I take care of my DOGS.
I feed my dogs a healthy diet, that covers all their bases. I make sure they're properly conditioned (ie: fit) enough to do activities they love for as long as they can, with as little risk of injury as they can.
I was living on a fairly crappy diet, playing games I loved without fueling them properly and not taking care of my actual conditioning to do so at all. I tracked a while on MPF at first because I was trying to work out how much protein I was eating. It was low - way low, too low, scary low. Only after that and, again, recognizing that I was treating myself in a way I would never, ever, treat someone I loved - or even a pet, or honestly even someone I hated (because I'd sure make sure they got a decently healthy diet and were in decent physical condition) but was responsible for.
THEN I lost weight.
Not because I hated myself fat, but because I loved myself enough to *take care of myself*. My sleep schedule got better. My energy increased. My reflux went away. I got to do MORE OF THE THINGS I LOVE TO DO because I was more physically able to do them.
I am all about body positivity - all about it. Not just for people who are bigger, but for people who are thin, people who are fit, people who are differently abled. I am even more all about body NEUTRALITY where the abilities/disabilities/conditions are not something people can love, and just treating your body like the thing that houses the interesting parts of you, so you take care of it to the best of your ability.
Health at every size though? No. That crap is dangerous. There ARE health risks associated with obesity and the fact that the obesity rate HALVES or more in people over 75 (and abruptly so) says a lot.
Most of what it says, sadly, is that obesity leads to health problems that kill people.
You can find all of those problems in people who are not obese, yes. The difference is, those people who are not obese and have those problems do not usually have multiple comorbidities layered on top of each other because of their weight.
Also? Kinda disrespectful to say "Yeah well you've got diabetes and are skinny and I know it's hell, and I know I'm at risk for it and CAN lower my risk to avoid it, but instead of doing that I'm going to point at you as a reason to do nothing" Really disrespectful and generally crappy, actually.16 -
And, to answer the original four-year-old question that got revived after languishing for 2.5 years....
My doctor commented more on my health markers than my actual weight. He wanted to put me on drugs. I didn't want to. I told him I'd try diet and exercise. He put up with me making that promise for a few years.... and then I did it! My health markers improved a whole hell of a lot, and have stayed that way. I remember a year or two ago taking a SCUBA belt when I went for a walk. It weighed less than the amount I had lost, but even with just that amount of weight, I could feel it in my knees. I remember thinking, "Wow; I used to carry more than this around ALL THE TIME." Yes it makes a difference.
The sad thing for me was when I went back to the doctor that first time after losing weight. I was actually hoping he'd lost some weight, too. I remember he seemed a little bit thinner the year before. Nope. He was pretty big. He said, ".... You're looking at a fat fat man." He knew it wasn't good, yet he let it persist. I hope that next time I see him he'll be smaller again. He told me he had actually lost 50 pounds or something, but that people "keep bringing him cookies." Even medical professionals who should (and who do) know better can have a really hard time managing weight. It's not just us "regular" people.
The good news is that it IS possible! The better news is that the instructions are simple. Executing the instructions is not easy at all, but the formula is right there if we choose to make changes. Cutting five or ten percent of body mass has an amazing effect on health. Most of us gained weight over a number of years, and by taking a slow and stead approach, we can all get to a better place and do it at a good pace. Even the very slow rate of a half pound a week would mean 26 pounds in a year. Don't wait. Start now. Warren Miller used to say, "If you don't do it this year, you'll be a year older when you do." Tomorrow never comes. Yesterday is a memory. TODAY is the day you have, and you can make positive changes TODAY.
My chiropractor noticed my weight loss. He was happy for me. I think my oral hygienist did too. My dentist retired; my new dentist didn't know me as a bigger human.
I think this is the last I'll write on the topic because it's starting to feel like feeding trolls....6 -
Everyone knows the BMI system is crap because it doesn’t account for muscle mass. A muscular woman could have a high BMI due to the muscle weight, but still have very low body fat, and BMI will classify her as “obese”. So yes, you can be “obese” according to BMI and be perfectly healthy. We need to be a lot more careful with words like “obese” because it can really hurt a person’s self-esteem and body image!
adding to the comments (although perhaps mtaratoot was right and should leave alone )
No we don't all know BMI is crap
we all know, I hope, that it should be used in context.
Yes there can be outliers - elite body builders and suchlike who carry a much larger muscle mass and will be incorrectly labelled obese - but I think both the doctor and the patient would know if that applies to them.
It doesnt apply to very many people - and very few women are muscular enough to be 'falsely obese' unless they really are body builders or similar.
Unless this is you - no, it doesnt apply to you.
that isnt body shaming or saying anything about your body specifically - it is general facts.13 -
It's weird that people accept that the BMI is terrible and inacurrate but also seem to be defending it's use. Being over weight CAN be a major health issue. But since it's that big of a deal, shouldn't we want accurate measurments and guidelines?0
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t’s totally unfair to compare me to some other country where people are probably starving. If 65% of people are “overweight” and only 35% are “normal” that just shows you how BMI is a broken system. “Normal” should be the range where most people are at, not a small minority of people.
Genetics also plays a huge role - some women are naturally larger even if they do the same diet and same exercise as skinny girls. That is just their natural size and it doesn’t make them unhealthy. I am apple shape so I naturally have a large waistline. That is my body’s NATURAL shape. It doesn’t make me unhealthy.
I’m sorry but I’m feeling a lot of judgement here and it’s making me feel pissed.
No - it shows you the country has an obesity problem, not that BMI is a broken system.
Normal in this context should be the range at which people (barring obvious outliers) are a healthy weight
and sure, genetics plays a part in your body shape - some people are a larger frame than others - that's why healthy BMI is a range, not a single number.
Nobody (barring obvious outliers like people with dwarfism or born with missing limbs) has a 'natural shape' that is far out of healthy BMI range
Sorry if you are interpreting facts as judgment.11 -
paperpudding wrote: »Nobody (barring obvious outliers like people with dwarfism or born with missing limbs) has a 'natural shape' that is far out of healthy BMI range
I’ve been outside of the “healthy” BMI range my whole life DESPITE a relatively healthy lifestyle. I know lots of women in the same boat. Some people are just naturally heavier!
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paperpudding wrote: »Nobody (barring obvious outliers like people with dwarfism or born with missing limbs) has a 'natural shape' that is far out of healthy BMI range
I’ve been outside of the “healthy” BMI range my whole life DESPITE a relatively healthy lifestyle. I know lots of women in the same boat. Some people are just naturally heavier!
Nobody is just naturally heavier very far out of BMI range,(slightly out, yes that is possible for some people, but not very far) regardless of how healthy they eat or their lifestyle is or how much their friends weigh.
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And, to answer the original four-year-old question that got revived after languishing for 2.5 years....
My doctor commented more on my health markers than my actual weight. He wanted to put me on drugs. I didn't want to. I told him I'd try diet and exercise. He put up with me making that promise for a few years.... and then I did it! My health markers improved a whole hell of a lot, and have stayed that way. I remember a year or two ago taking a SCUBA belt when I went for a walk. It weighed less than the amount I had lost, but even with just that amount of weight, I could feel it in my knees. I remember thinking, "Wow; I used to carry more than this around ALL THE TIME." Yes it makes a difference.
The sad thing for me was when I went back to the doctor that first time after losing weight. I was actually hoping he'd lost some weight, too. I remember he seemed a little bit thinner the year before. Nope. He was pretty big. He said, ".... You're looking at a fat fat man." He knew it wasn't good, yet he let it persist. I hope that next time I see him he'll be smaller again. He told me he had actually lost 50 pounds or something, but that people "keep bringing him cookies." Even medical professionals who should (and who do) know better can have a really hard time managing weight. It's not just us "regular" people.
The good news is that it IS possible! The better news is that the instructions are simple. Executing the instructions is not easy at all, but the formula is right there if we choose to make changes. Cutting five or ten percent of body mass has an amazing effect on health. Most of us gained weight over a number of years, and by taking a slow and stead approach, we can all get to a better place and do it at a good pace. Even the very slow rate of a half pound a week would mean 26 pounds in a year. Don't wait. Start now. Warren Miller used to say, "If you don't do it this year, you'll be a year older when you do." Tomorrow never comes. Yesterday is a memory. TODAY is the day you have, and you can make positive changes TODAY.
My chiropractor noticed my weight loss. He was happy for me. I think my oral hygienist did too. My dentist retired; my new dentist didn't know me as a bigger human.
I think this is the last I'll write on the topic because it's starting to feel like feeding trolls....
Sadly, I don't think that's the case.
I watch a lot of youtube influencers, mostly for fashion stuff. Always did, including when I was obese -- which means I watched a lot of people who were obese (often morbidly so) and crossed into fashion/style stuff. This sort of stuff? Super common. Super pervasive.
It's capitalizing on people's insecurities. People do need a place to feel accepted and to love themselves and not be made to feel less than. That's true if they're an addict, autistic, or obese.
But what these people are doing? It's predatory.
And when it crosses into 'anyone at any size can be healthy' it's deadly dangerous.
No one's worth as a person should be determined by their size, but their future and current health problems sure can be.
Oh, and as icing on the cake? That community tends to viciously turn on anyone who is trying to lose weight, even if it's because of an IMMEDIATE and DIRECTLY WEIGHT RELATED health issue (there's a whole thing with a youtuber named glitterandlasers or something similar). BIG TOXIC hiding under a thin shell of 'positivity'. It's killing people.
What this poster is parroting?
Right out of the 'I watch these videos a lot and need to believe this crap' playbook.
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It's weird that people accept that the BMI is terrible and inacurrate but also seem to be defending it's use. Being over weight CAN be a major health issue. But since it's that big of a deal, shouldn't we want accurate measurments and guidelines?
I think we should want practical and easy to use measurements and people to interpret them in context- seems to me BMI fits that.
Of course there are people and circumstances where more advanced measurements are suitable too - but BMI is a good guide and easy and practical to use.
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So, real facts here and personal story time.
Before I started logging on MFP, my general attitude was: I exercise, I am active, I have a pretty healthy lifestyle and I don't eat more than other people, even skinny ones. Guess I'm just fat/naturally fat/meant to be fat/whatever (remember, I never disliked my weight, got bullied, experienced bad things, had any self-loathing related to it).
This was true on one front and false on another.
The front it was true on was that I did not eat more VOLUME or more frequently than other people, really. Coffee and toast for breakfast, salad and a sandwich for lunch, apple and PB for a snack, some meat and potatoes basic for dinner.
The direction it was absolutely false from? Logging showed me very quickly that I ate about 1,000 calories in a day of high fat condiments. Cream in my coffee, butter on my toast, mayo on my sandwich, PB with my apple, and lots of ranch on my salad.
But that's normal! I can already hear it.
Yeah. It is kinda normal, but two things here:
1-) I know a lot of fat people. Because most people in the US are medically overweight or obese.
2-) The people who are NOT fat that I know, might eat like that sometimes. But they don't eat like that EVERY DAY and then ALSO have the special treats they post on facebook.
So, yeah, I guess I was 'naturally just fat'. I was naturally just fat because I ate, no joke, 1,000 calories OF CONDIMENTS. MOST DAYS. THEN STILL ATE THE DONUT, BROWNIE, CANDY BAR, or whatever TOO. I somehow took an image of what I thought I saw and decided I was eating like one of my 115 lb, 5' tall friends.
Tracking some calories and a question or two proved that to be an enormous, enormous, lie. I got fat because I 1/3 again as much as any actual reasonable person would - IN CALORIES, not frequency or volume.12 -
wunderkindking wrote: »Oh, and as icing on the cake? That community tends to viciously turn on anyone who is trying to lose weight, even if it's for a direct health benefit (there's a whole thing with a youtuber named glitterandlasers or something similar). BIG TOXIC hiding under a thin shell of 'positivity'. It's killing people.
What this poster is parroting?
Right out of the 'I watch these videos a lot and need to believe this crap' playbook.
No, I do not oppose weight loss. I oppose the idea that you need to be a certain weight to be attractive or healthy. Weight loss CAN help you get healthier depending on your situation, but there are so many factors that play into a person’s health - it’s not determined by just one number on a scale.
Body positivity isn’t toxic. Decades of society telling young girls that they’re fat and ugly if they’re not a size 0 - that’s what’s toxic. So many girls have gotten body dismorphia and anorexia from those toxic messages.
I’ve been plus size my whole life and despite being only slight overweight for most of my life, I felt SO insecure about my body - I felt like a whale and felt like no boy would ever look at me. I didn’t have the confidence to wear clothes that flattered my figure. I felt invisible and depressed.
Plus size YouTubers have helped me to unlearn that toxicity and see that I’m beautiful and sexy just the way I am and I can dress to show off my assets that super skinny girls don’t have
Despite being at ny heaviest weight yet, I feel SO much better about myself now and I’m more confident than I was when I was skinnier.
I’m not opposed to weight loss - I WANT to lose weight so I can get in shape and be able to walk further and climb stairs better and do more things without getting out of breath. But I no longer believe I need to lose weight to be sexy. I’m letting go of that toxic mindset. I’m learning to love and flaunt my natural body shape - hence the “curvy” in my username 2 -
wunderkindking wrote: »Oh, and as icing on the cake? That community tends to viciously turn on anyone who is trying to lose weight, even if it's for a direct health benefit (there's a whole thing with a youtuber named glitterandlasers or something similar). BIG TOXIC hiding under a thin shell of 'positivity'. It's killing people
Yeah, that's terrible and I've seen that too.5 -
wunderkindking wrote: »Oh, and as icing on the cake? That community tends to viciously turn on anyone who is trying to lose weight, even if it's for a direct health benefit (there's a whole thing with a youtuber named glitterandlasers or something similar). BIG TOXIC hiding under a thin shell of 'positivity'. It's killing people
Yeah, that's terrible and I've seen that too.
Yeah. It is basically the exact reverse of pro-ana. Sure, find people who are vulnerable, lacking confidence, badly treating, dealing with psychological and physical issues--
and encourage them to dig deeper into them.
That is not self-love. That's enabling people to self-destruct and self-harm and saying it's LOVE.
I HATE IT ALL.
It is toxic, it is abusive, it is dangerous, deadly and wrong.
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I recently asked my doctor:
"How much exactly should I weight?"
He replied:
"Dunno, let's take a look at the BMI chart and find out."
Then we laughed and laughed and laughed some more......8 -
wunderkindking wrote: »That is not self-love. That's enabling people to self-destruct and self-harm and saying it's LOVE.
My God, what an awful take. I’ve been told I’m fat my whole life and it left me feeling totally insecure and depressed. Plus size girls have it SO hard in our society. When I discovered body positivity and started to finally feel like I’m OK the way I am, I felt a massive relief.
No, it is NOT gonna stop me from living a healthy lifestyle. I am still trying to lose (a realistic amount of) weight, eat healthy, and be more active. The only thing body positivity has changed for me, is it’s helped me to love my body and it’s given me confidence to feel beautiful and sexy just the way I am. That is really healthy and desperately needed for a lot of plus size girls out there.4 -
wunderkindking wrote: »That is not self-love. That's enabling people to self-destruct and self-harm and saying it's LOVE.
My God, what an awful take. I’ve been told I’m fat my whole life and it left me feeling totally insecure and depressed. Plus size girls have it SO hard in our society. When I discovered body positivity and started to finally feel like I’m OK the way I am, I felt a massive relief.
No, it is NOT gonna stop me from living a healthy lifestyle. I am still trying to lose (a realistic amount of) weight, eat healthy, and be more active. The only thing body positivity has changed for me, is it’s helped me to love my body and it’s given me confidence to feel beautiful and sexy just the way I am. That is really healthy and desperately needed for a lot of plus size girls out there.
I feel like it’s important to look at the difference between the way fat men and fat women are treated to understand the societal drive to shame fat women. No one is telling fat men they are disgusting and should die rather than expect others to be around them, yet that’s a fairly mild comment easily found online directed towards any woman who is larger than supermodel size. Until that impulse to punish women for daring to be other than what society tells them to be is gone, it’s difficult to have an honest discussion about health.
I do want to say, at the risk of going off-topic, that I disagree with the concept of losing a realistic amount of weight. Having gone from morbidly obese to the middle of normal BMI and maintained it for four years I know it’s perfectly “realistic” to lose however much weight you need to lose. It’s become kind of a thing in the media recently to say that diets don’t work and losing weight is impossible because set points blah blah blah. This sort of article usually follows up with some body positive statement on the order of, “Bodies come in all sizes and we should learn to love all of them.” Well… baloney. Bodies very rarely came in morbidly obese size until quite recently - the latter half of the last century. When you look at women who were considered fat enough to be working as circus freaks from 1920 or so, they are smaller than half the people I saw out shopping today. It’s not actually cool that anyone is that heavy, it’s horribly limiting on a daily basis. And I say this as someone who has lived it. There really does need to be a way to help people out of that situation without giving into the urge to blame and shame.
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Yes, I’m overweight and I admit that and that’s why I’m here. I am overweight. But I am also a relatively healthy and relatively average woman. ”Morbidly obese” is an awful term and makes it sound like I’m freaking 400 pounds. That’s not me. My weight has actually been pretty average my whole life and I only gained weight recently because of the pandemic. I am chubby but I don’t think anybody would look at me and say “she’s morbidly obese”!
Aren’t you fat shaming those 400 pound women? You just said, essentially, “I’m fat but not as fat as REALLY FAT people! I’m the cute kind of fat!” That’s why the term morbidly obese exists. It isn’t a loaded term, it’s a medical term. It means your obesity is a morbid condition. It literally, factually, increases your risk of death.
Studies have found that although it’s possible to be overweight and healthy, it’s very difficult to be obese and healthy. Those who don’t currently have comorbidities like heart disease soon develop them. Even outlier obese men with massive amounts of muscle tend to have health issues because their bodies aren’t really made to sustain that mass.20
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