A Broken Man, But Better...

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  • salleewins
    salleewins Posts: 2,308 Member
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    BendableButMendable wrote: »
    I suppose it's been long enough that this thread is due for a positive update, at least I think this is positive.

    I was finally able to bring myself to apply for some jobs. I haven't had an offer yet but it's a numbers game so I'll try to keep submitting applications and hopefully find steady work soon. It's at least a step in the right direction.

    I also finally got around to signing up for a food delivery app. I'm waiting for my background check to clear and then I should be able to start earning some money.

    Pertaining to physical health and fitness... adjusting to maintenance is going well. I gained some weight (~4lbs) in the first few weeks but I think most of that was water weight with some muscle gains as my fat percentage stayed the same and I think I look leaner. I started losing again (back down to 170) and will shortly be upping my calorie intake to 2300-2400 to see how that goes.

    I hope everyone is doing well on their own journey and thank you all again for your support.

    Happy to hear!!
  • JustJ2014
    JustJ2014 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    💟 Sending you all the good vibes and prayers. You are doing amazing. 💟
  • JohnDziak
    JohnDziak Posts: 6 Member
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    I hope you are feeling a little better these days!
  • Nikki542687
    Nikki542687 Posts: 47 Member
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    Thank you for sharing your story. Your story is an inspiration and honestly, I think you have more in common with some of us than you realize. Hugs!!
  • Tzippo
    Tzippo Posts: 3 Member
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    Congrats on being a better you and try and join an interest group. Meetup sometimes has them and may be a place to start. Thank you for sharing your story and for having the courage to face your demons and change. We all have them.
  • BendableButMendable
    BendableButMendable Posts: 60 Member
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    Bluetail6 wrote: »
    Fantastic job. You will get to where you want to be.😊
    salleewins wrote: »
    Happy to hear!!
    JustJ2014 wrote: »
    💟 Sending you all the good vibes and prayers. You are doing amazing. 💟
    JohnDziak wrote: »
    I hope you are feeling a little better these days!

    Thank you all for the kind words, I truly appreciate them.
  • BendableButMendable
    BendableButMendable Posts: 60 Member
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    Nikki542687 wrote: »
    Thank you for sharing your story. Your story is an inspiration and honestly, I think you have more in common with some of us than you realize. Hugs!!

    Thank you for the support and I'm glad you got something out of it. I honestly don't think I'm all that different, but I have just enough different about me that I've struggled to build community. Hopefully I'll have better success with a therapist helping along the way this time around.
    Tzippo wrote: »
    Congrats on being a better you and try and join an interest group. Meetup sometimes has them and may be a place to start. Thank you for sharing your story and for having the courage to face your demons and change. We all have them.

    Thank you for the kindness and the suggestion. I haven't had great luck with those kinds of things in the past but I know I need to try again. Unfortunately some of the ideas my therapist and I have discussed aren't currently options because of COVID or my financial situation, but hopefully those issues will turn around soon.
  • BendableButMendable
    BendableButMendable Posts: 60 Member
    edited August 2021
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    Born2Run1958 wrote: »
    You should be so proud. Hell, after reading your story....now I have NO EXCUSE. I will say Covid nearly killed me. Not in the literal sense. However, I was so depressed I would start drinking vodka at 930 in the morning and eating everything in sight. My business (professional pet sitter for 20 years) tanked. I had 22 cancellations just in the month of April 2020 alone. I finally got my ducks in a row. Not drinking, eating better (lost 18 lbs and work is finally beginning to come back. I understand alot of what you have endured relating to the last 18 months, but you straightened your back and moved forward. You have done the hard part. Keep focused, keep trudging through. Best to you on your journey.

    I'm sorry that COVID hit you so hard. I imagine that specific line of work was especially affected. I'm so happy to hear that you've taken control of your drinking and your weight loss, you should be very proud of yourself for that. Thank you for the words of encouragement, I feel like I've made a lot more progress this last week or so than I had up to this point so hopefully I can keep riding that momentum into a better situation.
  • lisaccleaver
    lisaccleaver Posts: 3 Member
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    Very inspiring. What a great job. I am proud that you took your therapist's advice, and that you are seeing a therapist. Sharing your story really helps others and that is very important in your healing process. You look amazing in your photos of your bod. So happy for you that you have been able to share and accomplish so much.
  • Une_Poire
    Une_Poire Posts: 55 Member
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    BendableButMendable wrote: »
    Okay... scary but good update:

    Tomorrow (Friday) afternoon I have my first job interview since 2015. I'm not going to lie and say I'm not borderline freaking out with anxiety but I do recognize it as a good opportunity and a step in the right direction. I keep trying to tell myself that I'm more than qualified for the position so I shouldn't have anything to stress about but my anxiety has a different opinion...

    At any rate, I will go and do the best that I can. Please wish me luck.

    Best wishes on the interview!
  • BendableButMendable
    BendableButMendable Posts: 60 Member
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    lisaccleaver wrote: »
    Very inspiring. What a great job. I am proud that you took your therapist's advice, and that you are seeing a therapist. Sharing your story really helps others and that is very important in your healing process. You look amazing in your photos of your bod. So happy for you that you have been able to share and accomplish so much.

    Thank you for the kind words, I hope this thread has helped someone out there. And thank you for the compliment. No one has seen me without my shirt on for a very long time so I was pretty nervous putting that photo on the internet for anyone to see. I guess I thought this thread would have more of an impact if I could bring myself to post a "good" after picture.
    Une_Poire wrote: »

    Best wishes on the interview!

    Thank you so much.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,440 Member
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    BendableButMendable wrote: »
    I just got home from my interview and my anxiety must not have shown too much because they offered me the job right there on the spot. I am expecting to hear from them early next week about orientation and start date.

    I had to take some time to compose myself in the car with some deep breathing/meditation before I could go in and I was really worried that my nerves would show and set off alarm bells, but I made it through well enough apparently.

    I feel good about this, kind of like a weight lifting off my shoulders because I recognize this is a big step towards getting back into the world. However, I am still very anxious about having to deal with coworkers and unsure what approach I need to take to facilitate a better outcome this time.

    Congratulations on the new job 👏
  • salleewins
    salleewins Posts: 2,308 Member
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    CONGRATULATIONS!!

    One day and step at a time. How exciting!! The therapist can probably help a lot with coworker dynamics along the way. Maybe start right at the beginning with keeping things light, cordial, happy without much serious depth...See what she thinks. Have a plan going in and forward and discuss what you need to along the way with her. You may not have had her before and/or the old job was just not right and not for you. Maybe it just was not healthy... The current job I have is not healthy and I am looking, too. I am going to ask for more help, too. Things can be different. You will do well and you will grow. We all should be growing. Your reaction is important. Remember you have worth no matter what. Hope it is a good match.
  • JBanx256
    JBanx256 Posts: 1,471 Member
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    Congrats!!!
  • WellnessGeek
    WellnessGeek Posts: 1 Member
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    Every journey starts with a step and it seems like you have been taking quite a few in the right direction, and the courage to share, which is fantastic.

    Sometimes the seemingly small or “insignificant” steps have big impact, although you might not know where at the time :)

    A lifecoach once told me that most people see the path to success as a straight line from the starting point to the goal. The reality however, is that it is a series of zig-zags off and back on the path. The key is to keep taking steps, and keep finding your way back to the path.

    And the “goal” is only a stepping stone that lets you then see all of the other possibilities, places to venture next. Just like in the photo you shared from long ago up on the high peak. (Reminds me of a place I hiked to back in Maine long ago)

    Thanks for sharing your story, and so glad to see the positive update. My very best wishes for continued success with your journey!

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