What nobody tells you about losing weight
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penguinmama87 wrote: »I've now lost about forty pounds and am dealing with very weird self-perception issues. Half the time I feel really skinny, the other half I feel impossibly fat and like I've made no progress at all. Photos and the raw data of measurements help, and I know cognitively that it isn't *real* when I feel like I'm still just as heavy as I was when I started. But I was not expecting this weird mind stuff.
It's a pain.
I now wear a size 6 jeans, small or medium tops and dresses. My SHOE size and ring size have both dropped. My bra size is 4" shorter and down 2 cup sizes.
That's 60lbs on me.
I. Still. Flip. Between 'too skinny' and 'have lost no weight at all, really fat'.11 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »rheddmobile wrote: »Chubbynomore10 wrote: »Absolute hostility from one family member complete with insults......
Even strangers are surly...A woman who looked to be in her 20s walked up to me in a crowded store (I was wearing shorts) and she stopped in front of me and slowly and deliberately looked me up and down with disdain (I'm 68). I looked her in the eye and turned and went around her. Hope she had a great day!
I have no "padding" in the back so some chairs are very uncomfortable.
Can't sit still...Hubby comments on my fidgeting to help my energy overflow when I have to sit
Realizing that you can't outrun your fork...what you eat is vitally important. You have to walk 35 miles to walk off a pound.
The way weight loss improves EVERYTHING about your body! Quitting smoking 25 years ago did the same. My husband apparently doesn't believe that I can be so much better and feel so good. I dance around all the time.
Good and Bad things happen when we lose weight, but in my opinion the good far outweighs the bad.
I have lost 69 and still have 30-35 to go and don't know about the loose skin yet, but I believe that for me it will be preferable to the gobs of fat that I have yo-yoed from 180 to 227 and all around since 1994.
While 35 miles sounds like a lot, that’s only five miles a day for a week, which is well within reason. Many many ordinary runners run 35 miles or more a week, which gets you even more calories than walking. I hear “you can’t outrun your fork” a lot. But becoming an active person, if you were previously a sedentary person, makes an enormous difference. In fact, the database which follows large losers who have maintained for a year or more found that regular exercise was the primary commonality among them. It’s much harder to fit a satisfying diet into a calorie budget without regular exercise.
Personally? I don’t find it that hard to fit a satisfying diet into my daily calorie budget.
And yes. I exercise.
But since I am otherwise extremely sedentary I think I’m within reason to comment this. From my personal experience, anyhow.
Honestly I could/would have said this before I got more active, but because I am now more active my eating habits are for about 300 calories higher than sedentary. So when I spent July being really sedentary because of injury it was honestly miserable.
And I thinkt hat's honestly part of it. When your activity level stays static and you get used to the deficit/habits to maintain a weight nbd. You exercise, get used to more food, your eating habits form around that then you have to change it? Not a good time.9 -
wunderkindking wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »rheddmobile wrote: »Chubbynomore10 wrote: »Absolute hostility from one family member complete with insults......
Even strangers are surly...A woman who looked to be in her 20s walked up to me in a crowded store (I was wearing shorts) and she stopped in front of me and slowly and deliberately looked me up and down with disdain (I'm 68). I looked her in the eye and turned and went around her. Hope she had a great day!
I have no "padding" in the back so some chairs are very uncomfortable.
Can't sit still...Hubby comments on my fidgeting to help my energy overflow when I have to sit
Realizing that you can't outrun your fork...what you eat is vitally important. You have to walk 35 miles to walk off a pound.
The way weight loss improves EVERYTHING about your body! Quitting smoking 25 years ago did the same. My husband apparently doesn't believe that I can be so much better and feel so good. I dance around all the time.
Good and Bad things happen when we lose weight, but in my opinion the good far outweighs the bad.
I have lost 69 and still have 30-35 to go and don't know about the loose skin yet, but I believe that for me it will be preferable to the gobs of fat that I have yo-yoed from 180 to 227 and all around since 1994.
While 35 miles sounds like a lot, that’s only five miles a day for a week, which is well within reason. Many many ordinary runners run 35 miles or more a week, which gets you even more calories than walking. I hear “you can’t outrun your fork” a lot. But becoming an active person, if you were previously a sedentary person, makes an enormous difference. In fact, the database which follows large losers who have maintained for a year or more found that regular exercise was the primary commonality among them. It’s much harder to fit a satisfying diet into a calorie budget without regular exercise.
Personally? I don’t find it that hard to fit a satisfying diet into my daily calorie budget.
And yes. I exercise.
But since I am otherwise extremely sedentary I think I’m within reason to comment this. From my personal experience, anyhow.
Honestly I could/would have said this before I got more active, but because I am now more active my eating habits are for about 300 calories higher than sedentary. So when I spent July being really sedentary because of injury it was honestly miserable.
And I thinkt hat's honestly part of it. When your activity level stays static and you get used to the deficit/habits to maintain a weight nbd. You exercise, get used to more food, your eating habits form around that then you have to change it? Not a good time.
Good point.
I’ve been extremely sedentary for years. So it’s my normal. And I’ve been cutting back calories (although not enough until February) for a very long time. So it is easy-ish for me to feel sated.
You’re right. For someone who is changing habits, it is likely an issue7 -
rheddmobile wrote: »Chubbynomore10 wrote: »Absolute hostility from one family member complete with insults......
Even strangers are surly...A woman who looked to be in her 20s walked up to me in a crowded store (I was wearing shorts) and she stopped in front of me and slowly and deliberately looked me up and down with disdain (I'm 68). I looked her in the eye and turned and went around her. Hope she had a great day!
I have no "padding" in the back so some chairs are very uncomfortable.
Can't sit still...Hubby comments on my fidgeting to help my energy overflow when I have to sit
Realizing that you can't outrun your fork...what you eat is vitally important. You have to walk 35 miles to walk off a pound.
The way weight loss improves EVERYTHING about your body! Quitting smoking 25 years ago did the same. My husband apparently doesn't believe that I can be so much better and feel so good. I dance around all the time.
Good and Bad things happen when we lose weight, but in my opinion the good far outweighs the bad.
I have lost 69 and still have 30-35 to go and don't know about the loose skin yet, but I believe that for me it will be preferable to the gobs of fat that I have yo-yoed from 180 to 227 and all around since 1994.
While 35 miles sounds like a lot, that’s only five miles a day for a week, which is well within reason. Many many ordinary runners run 35 miles or more a week, which gets you even more calories than walking. I hear “you can’t outrun your fork” a lot. But becoming an active person, if you were previously a sedentary person, makes an enormous difference. In fact, the database which follows large losers who have maintained for a year or more found that regular exercise was the primary commonality among them. It’s much harder to fit a satisfying diet into a calorie budget without regular exercise.
I agree that it makes life a lot easier having a lot of execise - it is not a requirement but it helps a lot.
Personally I find not only because of the additional calorie but but simply also having less time to eat and being busy. For me personally I found that my biggest fall was sitting down in front of the TV or computer and having nothing much to do Keeping my hands (and full body) active has been the driver to knock back the not needed snacking moments5 -
wunderkindking wrote: »penguinmama87 wrote: »I've now lost about forty pounds and am dealing with very weird self-perception issues. Half the time I feel really skinny, the other half I feel impossibly fat and like I've made no progress at all. Photos and the raw data of measurements help, and I know cognitively that it isn't *real* when I feel like I'm still just as heavy as I was when I started. But I was not expecting this weird mind stuff.
It's a pain.
I now wear a size 6 jeans, small or medium tops and dresses. My SHOE size and ring size have both dropped. My bra size is 4" shorter and down 2 cup sizes.
That's 60lbs on me.
I. Still. Flip. Between 'too skinny' and 'have lost no weight at all, really fat'.
So true. After 4 years in maintenance you'd think I'd be used to the new me. Nope I too still flip as @wunderkindking calls it. Last week while on a holiday I felt really really fat. I came home looked in the mirror and noted Nah you are still the same, then tried on my skinny skirt - it still fits6 -
Lolinloggen wrote: »wunderkindking wrote: »penguinmama87 wrote: »I've now lost about forty pounds and am dealing with very weird self-perception issues. Half the time I feel really skinny, the other half I feel impossibly fat and like I've made no progress at all. Photos and the raw data of measurements help, and I know cognitively that it isn't *real* when I feel like I'm still just as heavy as I was when I started. But I was not expecting this weird mind stuff.
It's a pain.
I now wear a size 6 jeans, small or medium tops and dresses. My SHOE size and ring size have both dropped. My bra size is 4" shorter and down 2 cup sizes.
That's 60lbs on me.
I. Still. Flip. Between 'too skinny' and 'have lost no weight at all, really fat'.
So true. After 4 years in maintenance you'd think I'd be used to the new me. Nope I too still flip as @wunderkindking calls it. Last week while on a holiday I felt really really fat. I came home looked in the mirror and noted Nah you are still the same, then tried on my skinny skirt - it still fits
Oh yeah. This is SO true.4 -
justanotherloser007 wrote: »aerochic42 wrote: »less butt= longer pants
I had no idea this was a thing, until I kept having to take my skirt hems in! I wear maxi's all the time. Then I kept walking on the skirt hems, after I would maybe fix a waist. At first, I didn't understand why my skirts kept getting longer... I was like "Why is this happening??!" But when you said that, that is sooo a thing. My hubby said my skirts no longer need to cover my butt, of course it is happening in the front - the sides. The incredible elongating skirts!!
I realise that this is happening with my trouser legs too!
And blouse sleeves! As the cooler nights start, I put on a long sleeved pretty blouse last night to go out to dinner. I found myself pulling on it to keep it out of my plate - didn't occur to me this is the reason until now!4 -
SingRunTing wrote: »Serious for a second:
- Realizing that it wasn't my weight that was making me unhappy. There was something broken in my head. Once I fixed that, I was able to start losing the weight. I had to learn to love myself so that I could lose weight, instead of losing weight so that I could love myself.
I was just the opposite. It WAS the extra weight that was making me unhappy. Once I lost the weight, I had confidence, great health, and am still beaming with pride that I accomplished so much.
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Probably been said a thousand times previously....happiness and feeling content is not a number on the scale...and body image, mental health and other factors are extremely important, not just fat loss...if you don't change your attitude (mindset) to food, exercise/fitness, life in general and health (sometimes that means being less strict and more flexible, especially those who have had full blown eating disorders, which also need therapy and help aside from less food or more food, etc) you will always be yo-yo ing....4
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Suddenly my bathtub feels much bigger
I love when my sons encourage me to reach my goal weight or say, "You look great mom"
When I first noticed my thigh felt "hard" and it took me a minute to remember "Oh! That's what muscles feel like!"
Trying on a bathing suit ~~~ excited that you FINALLY have a reason to buy a new one (the old one is too big); but, seeing that you have some more toning to do and still feel subconscious enough to want to cover up a bit more.
I've got 10lbs to go to reach my goal of 110 (I'm 5' and the "normal" range for my height is between 95 and 125 lbs . . . I believe I chose a good middle (15 lbs more than I weighed before having 4 children) and people are already saying "You're getting too thin". Um, no. I'm not but, thanks
So glad I'm almost there but, the cravings are kicking into high gear this week ~~~ I'm working on it
One last thing, I may need to buy a body pillow now that I don't have a stomach to lean on while lying on my side 11 -
SummerJasmine23 wrote: »When I first noticed my thigh felt "hard" and it took me a minute to remember "Oh! That's what muscles feel like!"
Leaned over to tie my shoes yesterday and noticed a lump in my calf! Poked it with my fingers...oh, yeah, that's called a muscle ...long time no see!11 -
Beautyofdreams wrote: »It amazes me that people see a woman and feel compelled to make comments about her size. Since last March I have lost 83.6 lbs. and people just have to keep telling me how tiny I am. I'm 5'7" wear a large shirt and a 26 or 27x32" pants. and don't feel tiny. I look like a python who swallowed a goat. It is very disconcerting to hear tiny or big . Mainly because my body image still does not see me as the size I am. And I just don't appreciate hearing it no matter what size I am.
Perhaps they are offering you a compliment and mean no harm? Some people don't have the best skill at putting their thoughts into words. I wouldn't constantly take such comments as being offensive. There have been times, when I have put so much hard work and effort into losing weight, that I was wondering if anyone was ever going to notice. I did it for me, but any praise from someone else helped me greatly in the motivation area, and it showed me that perhaps others can see good things about me even when I don't. Best to you.10 -
I too got asked a lot "what did you do?????" (I've lost about 85 lbs & kept it off over 8 years). My answer was that I choose to eat healthy most of the time, tracked my food & paid attention to staying within my range, and exercised every day. That wasn't sexy or easy enough I guess. I even got certified as a health coach and several friends wanted to work with me until they found out that I would charge them...something for free is worth what you pay for it
I bet they'd pay for pills, shakes, or some TV commercial workout video though! America's mentality in regards to weight loss is astounding.3 -
@mjglantz That is exactly why I absolutely despise when people ask for "tips or tricks" to lose weight. What they really want is a quick fix. The "diet" mentality has ruined lives, made people sick both physically and mentally, and the answer is still the same as it always has been. Eat less and choose mostly healthy foods, do more physically every day, develop good habits that will last a lifetime, and be patient. Done. No magic bullet to make you lose 20 pounds over night, nothing will make you a buff body without work and time.
You stick to your guns and NO FREE RIDES!11 -
@mjglantz That is exactly why I absolutely despise when people ask for "tips or tricks" to lose weight. What they really want is a quick fix. The "diet" mentality has ruined lives, made people sick both physically and mentally, and the answer is still the same as it always has been. Eat less and choose mostly healthy foods, do more physically every day, develop good habits that will last a lifetime, and be patient. Done. No magic bullet to make you lose 20 pounds over night, nothing will make you a buff body without work and time.
You stick to your guns and NO FREE RIDES!
There is always people looking for a quick fix, a fad diet or a reason they are heavy that needs to be fixed. When the conversation turns to just tracking calories and eating less than you burn... they seem to just shut that idea down and move on to something else. I have friends who are cutting out sugar but pay no attention to the amount of calories ingested or do any exercise to boost the calories burned. It has to be much hard when you dont know the numbers and are just winging it. I am an Engineer and I like the numbers. Tracking calories in and out (while greatly simplified for what really happens) is a nice, simple little system to watch and manage. Try to make it efficient and optimize the key components. If you are a numbers person, its actually kind of fun.9 -
My mind used to trick me into thinking my image in the mirror wasn't really all that fat, that I was carrying it well, etc. But at 321 pounds, I wasn't really fooling myself or anyone else. I started a program in April this year (won't mention any names, but it's Moon spelled backwards!) that really worked to get me *thinking* differently about myself, my health, and how I look at food -- in other words, changing my lifelong lifestyle habits. I started exercising more, mostly walking/jogging, set a goal of 10,000 steps per day, and stuck to the program (which is *way* more than just "eat this, not that"). So far I've lost 50 pounds in four months (actually five months, but for some reason I hit a plateau in June and stagnated at a single number for the whole month), I can't believe what I look like in the mirror and in pictures now. I still have about 40 pounds to go, but I have to echo what so many have said here -- there are no shortcuts, no free rides, no easy fixes. You can't keep doing the same things and expecting things to change. Until you change your *mind*, your body will not change by itself. All cliches, I know, but that's how ideas become cliches -- because they're so TRUE. You *WILL* feel better, look better, and give your doctor a pleasant surprise on your next visit. Do not despair, the changes are HARD and they TAKE TIME, but they are WORTH EVERY MOMENT.14
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It's a solitary experience. People won't comment on your weight loss either out of a sense of decorum or a fear that it's unintentional, both which I understand. The weigh-ins, measurement and logging of food, and activity tracking are rituals you perform alone for the most part. There are few people with whom you celebrate your victories or voice your frustrations when you hit a plateau. You have to be mentally tough to continue the fight every day and focused on your goals - long and short term.
I say all of this after hitting a huge milestone in my efforts today. I now weigh less today than I have at ANY point in my adult life. I am 14 pounds from hitting my first major weight loss goal and 34 pounds from being less than 200 pounds for the first time since I was a junior in high school. And ultimately, who is the only person who really cares about this achievement? Me.
Thank goodness for MFP and these forums to allow us a place to celebrate our wins and vent our frustrations. Keep up the grind. I'm rooting for all of you.45 -
I'm following a no food is off limits eating plan (within reason - meaning for the most part I am eating the healthiest choices I can but occasionally I can have a treat, though in a smaller portion). I am finding that eating less and/or smaller portions is not easy at all for me and it takes great perseverance. I am used to eating probably larger than normal sized portions of things. I realized I have to reprogram my idea of a small portion when a recipe appeared on my social media showing a piece of pie. It looked like a "fairly small" piece of pie to me. Something you might receive in a restaurant. And I could easily consume such a piece but.... to portion control... I need to eat a much smaller piece (perhaps a 1/3 --say a sliver of what is usually served). So in my head I need to do 3 things: a) keep telling myself that I eat small portions; b) create pictures in my mind of what those small portions are before taking any and c) try, try and try again to adjust my portions especially of unhealthy foods--- to a much smaller size.15
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Nobody told me I would find it so hard to know when to stop. That is, to pick a "goal weight." I started out with a fairly high GW because deep down I really didn't believe I could lose the weight, so it seemed safe. Then as I found that CICO really DID work, I got all excited and picked a weight I hadn't been in many years. And I hit that, but I still had some stubborn areas I wanted to lose. Maybe. Or maybe not. As others said, my brain flip flops so much that half the time I feel too skinny and the other half like I'm all flab. It's nuts!! I don't want to get all fixated on numbers and fall into unhealthy patterns, but I must say the transition between losing and maintaining is just as psychologically weird as trying to lose in the first place.
I thought I'd be so happy to hit my GW that I'd be thrilled to up my calories for maintenance. Instead, I feel kind of lost. I like how I look and feel (except when my brain is being weird), but the idea of giving up dieting is a bit like giving up a comfy pair of shoes. I know how to be someone who's trying to lose weight. I don't yet know how to be someone who's maintaining. It's a different head space, and I need to figure it out because I sure don't want to gain the weight back and have to repeat the whole process. My goal is a long term, sustainale lifestyle that keeps me fit into old age. I've laid some good groundwork for that, but I didn't expect the transition to maintenance to feel so weird. I'm grateful that I can keep logging as a touchstone while I work out this new season of life.28 -
BrightEyedAgain wrote: »I know how to be someone who's trying to lose weight. I don't yet know how to be someone who's maintaining. It's a different head space, and I need to figure it out because I sure don't want to gain the weight back and have to repeat the whole process.
That's so important, and I speak/write as someone who lost to goal (ca. 15kg), gained back to my starting point and beyond, and has now lost to goal again (ca. 15kg again), but over the summer has regained 3 kg...
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