What nobody tells you about losing weight
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SummerJasmine23 wrote: »When I first noticed my thigh felt "hard" and it took me a minute to remember "Oh! That's what muscles feel like!"
Leaned over to tie my shoes yesterday and noticed a lump in my calf! Poked it with my fingers...oh, yeah, that's called a muscle ...long time no see!11 -
Beautyofdreams wrote: »It amazes me that people see a woman and feel compelled to make comments about her size. Since last March I have lost 83.6 lbs. and people just have to keep telling me how tiny I am. I'm 5'7" wear a large shirt and a 26 or 27x32" pants. and don't feel tiny. I look like a python who swallowed a goat. It is very disconcerting to hear tiny or big . Mainly because my body image still does not see me as the size I am. And I just don't appreciate hearing it no matter what size I am.
Perhaps they are offering you a compliment and mean no harm? Some people don't have the best skill at putting their thoughts into words. I wouldn't constantly take such comments as being offensive. There have been times, when I have put so much hard work and effort into losing weight, that I was wondering if anyone was ever going to notice. I did it for me, but any praise from someone else helped me greatly in the motivation area, and it showed me that perhaps others can see good things about me even when I don't. Best to you.10 -
I too got asked a lot "what did you do?????" (I've lost about 85 lbs & kept it off over 8 years). My answer was that I choose to eat healthy most of the time, tracked my food & paid attention to staying within my range, and exercised every day. That wasn't sexy or easy enough I guess. I even got certified as a health coach and several friends wanted to work with me until they found out that I would charge them...something for free is worth what you pay for it
I bet they'd pay for pills, shakes, or some TV commercial workout video though! America's mentality in regards to weight loss is astounding.3 -
@mjglantz That is exactly why I absolutely despise when people ask for "tips or tricks" to lose weight. What they really want is a quick fix. The "diet" mentality has ruined lives, made people sick both physically and mentally, and the answer is still the same as it always has been. Eat less and choose mostly healthy foods, do more physically every day, develop good habits that will last a lifetime, and be patient. Done. No magic bullet to make you lose 20 pounds over night, nothing will make you a buff body without work and time.
You stick to your guns and NO FREE RIDES!11 -
@mjglantz That is exactly why I absolutely despise when people ask for "tips or tricks" to lose weight. What they really want is a quick fix. The "diet" mentality has ruined lives, made people sick both physically and mentally, and the answer is still the same as it always has been. Eat less and choose mostly healthy foods, do more physically every day, develop good habits that will last a lifetime, and be patient. Done. No magic bullet to make you lose 20 pounds over night, nothing will make you a buff body without work and time.
You stick to your guns and NO FREE RIDES!
There is always people looking for a quick fix, a fad diet or a reason they are heavy that needs to be fixed. When the conversation turns to just tracking calories and eating less than you burn... they seem to just shut that idea down and move on to something else. I have friends who are cutting out sugar but pay no attention to the amount of calories ingested or do any exercise to boost the calories burned. It has to be much hard when you dont know the numbers and are just winging it. I am an Engineer and I like the numbers. Tracking calories in and out (while greatly simplified for what really happens) is a nice, simple little system to watch and manage. Try to make it efficient and optimize the key components. If you are a numbers person, its actually kind of fun.9 -
My mind used to trick me into thinking my image in the mirror wasn't really all that fat, that I was carrying it well, etc. But at 321 pounds, I wasn't really fooling myself or anyone else. I started a program in April this year (won't mention any names, but it's Moon spelled backwards!) that really worked to get me *thinking* differently about myself, my health, and how I look at food -- in other words, changing my lifelong lifestyle habits. I started exercising more, mostly walking/jogging, set a goal of 10,000 steps per day, and stuck to the program (which is *way* more than just "eat this, not that"). So far I've lost 50 pounds in four months (actually five months, but for some reason I hit a plateau in June and stagnated at a single number for the whole month), I can't believe what I look like in the mirror and in pictures now. I still have about 40 pounds to go, but I have to echo what so many have said here -- there are no shortcuts, no free rides, no easy fixes. You can't keep doing the same things and expecting things to change. Until you change your *mind*, your body will not change by itself. All cliches, I know, but that's how ideas become cliches -- because they're so TRUE. You *WILL* feel better, look better, and give your doctor a pleasant surprise on your next visit. Do not despair, the changes are HARD and they TAKE TIME, but they are WORTH EVERY MOMENT.14
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It's a solitary experience. People won't comment on your weight loss either out of a sense of decorum or a fear that it's unintentional, both which I understand. The weigh-ins, measurement and logging of food, and activity tracking are rituals you perform alone for the most part. There are few people with whom you celebrate your victories or voice your frustrations when you hit a plateau. You have to be mentally tough to continue the fight every day and focused on your goals - long and short term.
I say all of this after hitting a huge milestone in my efforts today. I now weigh less today than I have at ANY point in my adult life. I am 14 pounds from hitting my first major weight loss goal and 34 pounds from being less than 200 pounds for the first time since I was a junior in high school. And ultimately, who is the only person who really cares about this achievement? Me.
Thank goodness for MFP and these forums to allow us a place to celebrate our wins and vent our frustrations. Keep up the grind. I'm rooting for all of you.45 -
I'm following a no food is off limits eating plan (within reason - meaning for the most part I am eating the healthiest choices I can but occasionally I can have a treat, though in a smaller portion). I am finding that eating less and/or smaller portions is not easy at all for me and it takes great perseverance. I am used to eating probably larger than normal sized portions of things. I realized I have to reprogram my idea of a small portion when a recipe appeared on my social media showing a piece of pie. It looked like a "fairly small" piece of pie to me. Something you might receive in a restaurant. And I could easily consume such a piece but.... to portion control... I need to eat a much smaller piece (perhaps a 1/3 --say a sliver of what is usually served). So in my head I need to do 3 things: a) keep telling myself that I eat small portions; b) create pictures in my mind of what those small portions are before taking any and c) try, try and try again to adjust my portions especially of unhealthy foods--- to a much smaller size.15
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Nobody told me I would find it so hard to know when to stop. That is, to pick a "goal weight." I started out with a fairly high GW because deep down I really didn't believe I could lose the weight, so it seemed safe. Then as I found that CICO really DID work, I got all excited and picked a weight I hadn't been in many years. And I hit that, but I still had some stubborn areas I wanted to lose. Maybe. Or maybe not. As others said, my brain flip flops so much that half the time I feel too skinny and the other half like I'm all flab. It's nuts!! I don't want to get all fixated on numbers and fall into unhealthy patterns, but I must say the transition between losing and maintaining is just as psychologically weird as trying to lose in the first place.
I thought I'd be so happy to hit my GW that I'd be thrilled to up my calories for maintenance. Instead, I feel kind of lost. I like how I look and feel (except when my brain is being weird), but the idea of giving up dieting is a bit like giving up a comfy pair of shoes. I know how to be someone who's trying to lose weight. I don't yet know how to be someone who's maintaining. It's a different head space, and I need to figure it out because I sure don't want to gain the weight back and have to repeat the whole process. My goal is a long term, sustainale lifestyle that keeps me fit into old age. I've laid some good groundwork for that, but I didn't expect the transition to maintenance to feel so weird. I'm grateful that I can keep logging as a touchstone while I work out this new season of life.29 -
BrightEyedAgain wrote: »I know how to be someone who's trying to lose weight. I don't yet know how to be someone who's maintaining. It's a different head space, and I need to figure it out because I sure don't want to gain the weight back and have to repeat the whole process.
That's so important, and I speak/write as someone who lost to goal (ca. 15kg), gained back to my starting point and beyond, and has now lost to goal again (ca. 15kg again), but over the summer has regained 3 kg...
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Your face might not be naturally round even if you think it is! Finding out that I have a heart shaped face, not a round one as I lost more weight was quite the discovery.16
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The more focused I've gotten, the less self conscious I am. I've lost about 35 pounds and still have about 50 to go. Before, I'd really cover up and was embarrassed to wear a swimsuit in public. Now, I have four swimsuits and could care less what anyone else thinks when I'm at the pool. I'm proud of myself for being committed to swim laps twice a week between my other workouts. It's not about them or what they think, it's about me and making myself the best I can be.26
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The thinner/shapelier you get...the more oppressive attention from Men. Le sigh.19
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DezYaoified wrote: »No one said family/friends would try to sabotage me.
A family member will bring lunch to my job.
1:knowing I plan my day in the morning and bring my lunch with me.
2:only brings lunch the day after my weigh in, and only if I lost.
Best friend makes me feel guilty about my progress by pointing out why she isn’t losing.
I vaguely knew family/friends aren’t always supportive, I’ve experienced that but I guess I thought it would be more dismissive than sabotage.
YIKES!!! Maybe ask your best friend what her new goals would be and tell family not much. Tell them you are changing things up and please don't bring lunch to work cuz it will be a waste and they will have to bring it back home because it will go bad?? How annoying!!4 -
Sand_TIger wrote: »WifeDeputy wrote: »ne of my biggest things was learning how to nest my knees for sleeping at night. What does this mean?
It means that some of us learn we now have super bony knees and we can't comfortably stack one on top of the other while sleeping on our sides. I had something like that happen for a bit as my thighs lost padding and for a while my spine was out of alignment when I slept.
A couple of chiropractors have told me to put the pillow between my knees to keep the spine aligned. I need to be more consistent.5 -
wunderkindking wrote: »I am cold.
I am so so cold.
It's 52. we're barely into fall. I usually like this time of year. I used to be fine in these temps. I AM SO COLD.
Be sure you are well hydrated, too, to help the body regulate the temp, but I am sure you have dropped the insulation like I am still working on doing!5 -
whaaaaaaaaaaaat?! i guess that explains my badunkadunk!springlering62 wrote: »justanotherloser007 wrote: »
Hips don't lie!! But then, sometimes they tell the truth so loudly!! Frequently even, did the song say anything about that?MargaretYakoda wrote: »I know exactly where those ‘ol hip bones are all day, every day.
In yoga I constantly hear,”you carry your emotions and stress in your hips”.
Maybe that’s why mine were so big. I had to have big ole saddlebags to carry all that.
It is usually the cortisol from stress that increases the stomach.2 -
@mjglantz That is exactly why I absolutely despise when people ask for "tips or tricks" to lose weight. What they really want is a quick fix. The "diet" mentality has ruined lives, made people sick both physically and mentally, and the answer is still the same as it always has been. Eat less and choose mostly healthy foods, do more physically every day, develop good habits that will last a lifetime, and be patient. Done. No magic bullet to make you lose 20 pounds over night, nothing will make you a buff body without work and time.
You stick to your guns and NO FREE RIDES!
There is always people looking for a quick fix, a fad diet or a reason they are heavy that needs to be fixed. When the conversation turns to just tracking calories and eating less than you burn... they seem to just shut that idea down and move on to something else. I have friends who are cutting out sugar but pay no attention to the amount of calories ingested or do any exercise to boost the calories burned. It has to be much hard when you dont know the numbers and are just winging it. I am an Engineer and I like the numbers. Tracking calories in and out (while greatly simplified for what really happens) is a nice, simple little system to watch and manage. Try to make it efficient and optimize the key components. If you are a numbers person, its actually kind of fun.
I always start by telling people it took me 12 years to lose the weight (228 pounds so far), which it technically did. I spent 2 years losing weight and 8 years changing my attitude towards food in ways that didn’t cause me to lose weight, but were permanent, and then 2 more years losing weight. And I only gained back 30 of 150 pounds in the middle, so I think I did pretty well. And I am an accountant by nature and avocation, if not by trade, so tracking my calories in, calories out and nutrition is something my husband would be grateful to stop hearing me prattle on about at any time!😂
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penguinmama87 wrote: »I've now lost about forty pounds and am dealing with very weird self-perception issues. Half the time I feel really skinny, the other half I feel impossibly fat and like I've made no progress at all. Photos and the raw data of measurements help, and I know cognitively that it isn't *real* when I feel like I'm still just as heavy as I was when I started. But I was not expecting this weird mind stuff.
So much this. 120 pounds down. I’m 31 and this is probably the most attractive I have felt since I was 17. Some days I’ll catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and think I look pretty darn good. Other days, the same will happen and I’ll think I’m Still so fat and have barely made any progress. It’s super weird.15 -
wunderkindking wrote: »I am cold.
I am so so cold.
It's 52. we're barely into fall. I usually like this time of year. I used to be fine in these temps. I AM SO COLD.
I used to think that being cold whilst skinny was purely due to the insulation from subcutaneous fat. Whilst that plays a role, I believe that there are other factors at play. For example, being overweight causes more uncoupling proteins. These decrease the efficiency of conversion of food into energy (through increasing hydrogen ion leakage in ATP processes.) So being overweight makes the metabolism less efficient, and more calories need to be burned to produce the same energy. The excess calories with the inefficient process go as heat.
I've got over the issue by wearing warmer clothes. I got a Quark Navy as my drysuit undersuit for scuba diving, and it is brilliant - dives would be really cold in the old undersuit. I may dive above the Artic Circle in Norway next year, and if I do I'll get a heated undersuit.10 -
I’m back already. It finally happened. I had a friend ask me what my “secret” was, and then discuss nutrition with me and shoot down Every Single Thing I told her to do. I was not in a social circumstance where I felt comfortable saying something along the lines if “Are you seriously trying to tell your friend who has lost 228 pounds that she doesn’t know what she is talking about?”. So I just said, “I’m sorry, but I don’t have a magical answer for you.” And left it at that. And, for some reason both completely predictable and completely unfathomable, she totally accepted that answer. I guess I need to get used to having to say that.33
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I got "what's your secret". Four times at an event friday. My answers were : myfitnesspal, blood magic, alien abduction, and running from bears. I elaborated on none of them. Those questions aren't asked for a desire to really know, ime, ever.34
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wunderkindking wrote: »I got "what's your secret". Four times at an event friday. My answers were : myfitnesspal, blood magic, alien abduction, and running from bears. I elaborated on none of them. Those questions aren't asked for a desire to really know, ime, ever.
ROTFLMAO!!!!7 -
buddharivet wrote: »wunderkindking wrote: »I got "what's your secret". Four times at an event friday. My answers were : myfitnesspal, blood magic, alien abduction, and running from bears. I elaborated on none of them. Those questions aren't asked for a desire to really know, ime, ever.
ROTFLMAO!!!!
It's really probably for the best that I am a known smart-*kitten*. It just really is, but honestly? Everyone accepted those answers without delving deeper or doing more than making polite noises. So, really, they clearly and truthfully did not actually want to know - just wanted to engage with me about it.5 -
I have lost 30 pounds in one year. I am almost 64 and 51 inches (short). I was thrilled to see my waist get smaller.
However, when I push a grocery cart outside I look at my thighs, and I can see the loose skin jiggle on my thighs. I never thought about that happening. What a reminder about all that weight I was carrying.14 -
wunderkindking wrote: »buddharivet wrote: »wunderkindking wrote: »I got "what's your secret". Four times at an event friday. My answers were : myfitnesspal, blood magic, alien abduction, and running from bears. I elaborated on none of them. Those questions aren't asked for a desire to really know, ime, ever.
ROTFLMAO!!!!
It's really probably for the best that I am a known smart-*kitten*. It just really is, but honestly? Everyone accepted those answers without delving deeper or doing more than making polite noises. So, really, they clearly and truthfully did not actually want to know - just wanted to engage with me about it.
Not too long before I started losing the weight fast I chose to give myself a punk rock buzz cut hairstyle. AND decided to purchase a standing walker, which I now use more often than my two canes.
Now lots of people assume I’m doing chemo.
I get why…. But it feels weird.10 -
I've gotten told I was "lucky" for losing 55 lbs.
No, it wasn't luck. It was a decision not to put so much food down my throat and then sticking to the plan.
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AlexandraFindsHerself1971 wrote: »I've gotten told I was "lucky" for losing 55 lbs.
No, it wasn't luck. It was a decision not to put so much food down my throat and then sticking to the plan.
You could always quote good ole Thomas Jefferson at them. "I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it."30 -
kenziestabes wrote: »AlexandraFindsHerself1971 wrote: »I've gotten told I was "lucky" for losing 55 lbs.
No, it wasn't luck. It was a decision not to put so much food down my throat and then sticking to the plan.
You could always quote good ole Thomas Jefferson at them. "I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it."
To be fair, he was also carried everywhere on a velvet pillow until he was three.
But I get what you’re saying.7 -
wunderkindking wrote: »buddharivet wrote: »wunderkindking wrote: »I got "what's your secret". Four times at an event friday. My answers were : myfitnesspal, blood magic, alien abduction, and running from bears. I elaborated on none of them. Those questions aren't asked for a desire to really know, ime, ever.
ROTFLMAO!!!!
It's really probably for the best that I am a known smart-*kitten*. It just really is, but honestly? Everyone accepted those answers without delving deeper or doing more than making polite noises. So, really, they clearly and truthfully did not actually want to know - just wanted to engage with me about it.
Yup, in my experience most people are asking either to simply converse or just in case you do have a super magic solution like "oh, what did I do? I lit incense throughout my house every night and took 2 magic pills every morning and lost 100 pounds." So yea, they don't want a real answer. Which is why I'll generally just respond "Short version: diet and exercise." It's not a helpful response on my end, but I've learned that if they actually care they will ask "what's the long version?" Or for specifics on what I did. But most just move on.
Oh and if we do get into specifics and they shoot me down, I'll just shrug and end the conversation. I've busted my @$$, I'm happy to talk to anyone about it, but its not my job to convince them. If they don't want to do the work, that's on them.22
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