WHY do people CHEAT?
Replies
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I also personally believe that religion has a lot to do with trying to keep people "forced" together when they may not want to be. I know in my former religion (Catholicism) that divorce is very much looked down upon and highly discouraged. Many cultures and religions have expectations of couples and I believe that many couples just got married because it was expected if they've been together for awhile. But that doesn't mean that person was always the right one for you. Again, unless one has met every possible person available to them, how can you really know? Most people in the world on average have had about 7 real relationships. They are picking the BEST out of that 7. But what if that 7 was only subpar?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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So you don't believe people can change over the years? That someone who may be really short tempered can become more patient and vice versa? It takes TWO to maintain a relationship and if one is unwilling, why should the other HAVE to keep watering that grass?Be_theBest_Me wrote: »
Again, unless you've met the 7 billion people on Earth face to face, how can you say that?Be_theBest_Me wrote: »Looking for greener grass is pointless. Grass only gets greener with maintenance and care. If you find green grass you maintain it to keep it that way. If you can't do that then no matter the grass it will brown dry up.
If the "grass" you have at home, and it starts going bad and no amount of watering, fertilizing, care, etc. improves it, then either "resodding" or "renewing your lawn" is likely. It's NOT always about the caretaker though. There is such a thing as "bad grass".
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I disagree. Grass doesn't go "bad" now if you start with a "weed" you can't turn that into grass. All you can do is pull the weeds and plant the grass!! You actually have to know what kind of grass you have the amount of water it needs the right time to cut it and the right time to let it grow. When to fertilize and feed your grass so that it stays lush and beautiful!!! I see it as I'm a lawn and so is my hubby!! We both gotta maintain the lawn and give it love and be there when it needs us. Took us time to pull all the weeds and plant the right grass!! I know I had a few weeds!! My husband had his work cut out for him. I was an undeveloped yard with a few sticks and clumps of green here and there. Now I'm a well manicured lawn that gets lots of attention!! I can promise as soon as you start looking for other grass yours will brown....that's a fact. Experience unfortunately......I learned the hard way. I looked and I realized I needed to pop my head outta my *kitten* and appreciate my grass!!!
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
That's exactly what I believe. My yard went from broke down and busted to amazing and lush so did my husband. We were hostile in the beginning wild and crazy!! Hurt each other over and over. But because we never stopped improving the yard maintenance and kept working so hard to help each other become amazing!!!!!! I was angry at my husband thought I was tired of working on mess I wanna find someone who doesn't come with all of that NEWS FLASH: WE ARE ALL A MESS!! Everyone has *kitten*!! Stay home work on ya own *kitten*!! It's worth it!!! We have come a long way and I believe in long relationships and working hard to maintain them!! I almost tossed that all away looking for something that isn't there......now I just get out my watering can and my weed Wacker and go to work when our relationship needs help!!!0 -
Things is people can change from loving to unloving over the years as well. It's not ALWAYS something someone has to work on, but different goals and desires for people. And if the other isn't on board for those changes, then it's likely they will grow apart. I'm not into ballroom dancing but my wife is. If I was FORCED to try to do it and enjoy it, I would resent it even more. And if she spent ALL her free time doing it rather than with me, then it might be time to reassess our relationship and do the things we enjoy more with a person who has the same interests. Nothing worse than just hanging around and being unhappy just because of a piece of paper stating you're married.Be_theBest_Me wrote: »
So you don't believe people can change over the years? That someone who may be really short tempered can become more patient and vice versa? It takes TWO to maintain a relationship and if one is unwilling, why should the other HAVE to keep watering that grass?Be_theBest_Me wrote: »
Again, unless you've met the 7 billion people on Earth face to face, how can you say that?Be_theBest_Me wrote: »Looking for greener grass is pointless. Grass only gets greener with maintenance and care. If you find green grass you maintain it to keep it that way. If you can't do that then no matter the grass it will brown dry up.
If the "grass" you have at home, and it starts going bad and no amount of watering, fertilizing, care, etc. improves it, then either "resodding" or "renewing your lawn" is likely. It's NOT always about the caretaker though. There is such a thing as "bad grass".
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I disagree. Grass doesn't go "bad" now if you start with a "weed" you can't turn that into grass. All you can do is pull the weeds and plant the grass!! You actually have to know what kind of grass you have the amount of water it needs the right time to cut it and the right time to let it grow. When to fertilize and feed your grass so that it stays lush and beautiful!!! I see it as I'm a lawn and so is my hubby!! We both gotta maintain the lawn and give it love and be there when it needs us. Took us time to pull all the weeds and plant the right grass!! I know I had a few weeds!! My husband had his work cut out for him. I was an undeveloped yard with a few sticks and clumps of green here and there. Now I'm a well manicured lawn that gets lots of attention!! I can promise as soon as you start looking for other grass yours will brown....that's a fact. Experience unfortunately......I learned the hard way. I looked and I realized I needed to pop my head outta my *kitten* and appreciate my grass!!!
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
That's exactly what I believe. My yard went from broke down and busted to amazing and lush so did my husband. We were hostile in the beginning wild and crazy!! Hurt each other over and over. But because we never stopped improving the yard maintenance and kept working so hard to help each other become amazing!!!!!! I was angry at my husband thought I was tired of working on mess I wanna find someone who doesn't come with all of that NEWS FLASH: WE ARE ALL A MESS!! Everyone has *kitten*!! Stay home work on ya own *kitten*!! It's worth it!!! We have come a long way and I believe in long relationships and working hard to maintain them!! I almost tossed that all away looking for something that isn't there......now I just get out my watering can and my weed Wacker and go to work when our relationship needs help!!!
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Yep thats my question also....
Cheaters freaking suck2 -
🙄2
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They come to the realization that they made a terrible mistake. They are better, want better and deserve better. They go out and get what they perceive as better. Yet, they keep their SO around because they have no spine to face the consequences of their own actions and decisions.4
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Eltriste73 wrote: »They come to the realization that they made a terrible mistake. They are better, want better and deserve better. They go out and get what they perceive as better. Yet, they keep their SO around because they have no spine to face the consequences of their own actions and decisions.
Yep, thats exactly what we do, and exactly what we are.1 -
Because they’re cowards.4
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Last time I cheated was about 12 years ago. Happened to have 3 different girls I really liked and couldnt decide which was the best match so I just dated them all at the same time.........for 3 years 🤷♂️5
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Butt_Snorkeler wrote: »Last time I cheated was about 12 years ago. Happened to have 3 different girls I really liked and couldnt decide which was the best match so I just dated them all at the same time.........for 3 years 🤷♂️
How did you have time for all that??? So you called each of them your gf??? Surely they knew...or they had their own side piece too😂😂😂3 -
One of them was local and Id see them everyday. One of them was 3 hrs away and would take greyhounds to come visit me on weekends. She was a foreign au pair, so she could not have a social life during the week. The other one was long distance and would fly in from her country occassionally to visit. Just spent my free time on webcam chats with the long distance one. They all sorta knew about each other. They knew who was who. I tried to be the good guy and break up with one before dating the other, but when the original came crying back asking me to accept her again, i couldnt take the tears and accepted....becoming the bad guy.
All in all, there wasnt much drama and it was a great 3 years. I would have married any one of them. And I did end up marrying one. 😁3 -
I wannabe a butt snorkeler2
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Butt_Snorkeler wrote: »One of them was local and Id see them everyday. One of them was 3 hrs away and would take greyhounds to come visit me on weekends. She was a foreign au pair, so she could not have a social life during the week. The other one was long distance and would fly in from her country occassionally to visit. Just spent my free time on webcam chats with the long distance one. They all sorta knew about each other. They knew who was who. I tried to be the good guy and break up with one before dating the other, but when the original came crying back asking me to accept her again, i couldnt take the tears and accepted....becoming the bad guy.
All in all, there wasnt much drama and it was a great 3 years. I would have married any one of them. And I did end up marrying one. 😁
What happened with the other 2? You got my curiosity2 -
Finishiitnow wrote: »Butt_Snorkeler wrote: »One of them was local and Id see them everyday. One of them was 3 hrs away and would take greyhounds to come visit me on weekends. She was a foreign au pair, so she could not have a social life during the week. The other one was long distance and would fly in from her country occassionally to visit. Just spent my free time on webcam chats with the long distance one. They all sorta knew about each other. They knew who was who. I tried to be the good guy and break up with one before dating the other, but when the original came crying back asking me to accept her again, i couldnt take the tears and accepted....becoming the bad guy.
All in all, there wasnt much drama and it was a great 3 years. I would have married any one of them. And I did end up marrying one. 😁
What happened with the other 2? You got my curiosity
They are in his backyard...(just guessing here)3 -
Finishiitnow wrote: »
What happened with the other 2? You got my curiosity
I remained good friends with the other two up until I married and then stopped talking to them. Not sure about one of them. I think she tried working in a different country for awhile before moving back home. She found a guy and adopted a bunch of kittens (my wife continues to stalk them periodically on FB and keep me updated). The other actually just hit me up a few weeks ago for the first time in years saying she hasnt gotten over me and needed closure. However shes also been dating a guy for idk how many years. I quietly deleted that message without responding.4 -
Butt_Snorkeler wrote: »Finishiitnow wrote: »
What happened with the other 2? You got my curiosity
I remained good friends with the other two up until I married and then stopped talking to them. Not sure about one of them. I think she tried working in a different country for awhile before moving back home. She found a guy and adopted a bunch of kittens (my wife continues to stalk them periodically on FB and keep me updated). The other actually just hit me up a few weeks ago for the first time in years saying she hasnt gotten over me and needed closure. However shes also been dating a guy for idk how many years. I quietly deleted that message without responding.
Are you tempted to see them again?4 -
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We want better, we strive for better. What is current may be good for the time being but there is always better available so if what is current doesn't continue to meet our expectations then it's time to seek out and find the "better".
The honorable thing to do is to terminate current relationship and then look for something better. The dishonorable and dishonest thing to do is to look, find and establish a new relationship while keeping the current one.11 -
Generally because they don't think they'll get caught2
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Because they are broken in some way so are always looking for someone or something to fix them in some subconscious way, regardless of if they have a partner or not.3
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To feel accepted or desired. To experience the thrill. All kinds of reasons for everyone I suppose. One thing I do know.. There is never a happy ending (pun intended).8
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Some people just don't believe in monogamy but haven't shared that information with their SO.
I know a few people.like this, my ex from a dozen years ago being one of them, he has 2 girlfriends and they all live together.
And a friend's son who has 2 live in girlfriends as well.
I have a friend she isn't monogamist, but her SO doesn't know that. She seems to need a lot of attention from various men mostly sexual. her SO isnt doing anything wrong because he's actually seem to be a great guy. But my friend never seems satisfied with anyone. They've
been together 5 years, it's no figuring it out so I don't try. I know to many details because she has insisted on sharing.
Some people want variety and to get that, they go from person to person, while still attached.
As others have said want their cake and eat it to,
I can respect if a person is honest about their real wants and needs, it gives the so the opportunity to make the choice of what type of relationship they want to be in.but doing things behind your back is leaving nothing but rooms for problems..
My cousins boyfriend was still seeing his suppposed ex she went to my cousins house, beating on her door then threw a brick through her car windshield now the ex has a case against her with the police for vandalism.
If the cousins boyfriend was honest, just maybe that drama could have been avoided
Cake and eat it to, usually doesn't work when your sneaking around. Not for long.
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I've never really quite understood it. You really have to dislike somebody to cheat on them in my opinion. It's like rubbing their nose in the fact that you're not attracted to them anymore. Again these are all my opinions. I would rather end things first if I found somebody I had to be with than to cheat6
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I don’t know.
But imo the worst part of being cheated on is the fact that that person could forget you exist while they do it.
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Dees_Apples wrote: »Because you really, really don't want to lose that game of monopoly 🤷🏻♂️ :bigsmile:
Dammit!! You beat me to it 😂 my thoughts exactly!1 -
All I can say is, I don’t understand why.. surely you should leave the one you’re with before you play around with someone else.. I don’t understand cheaters at all 🥴1
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Lady_ov_leisure wrote: »All I can say is, I don’t understand why.. surely you should leave the one you’re with before you play around with someone else.. I don’t understand cheaters at all 🥴
Safety net. Like the monkey swinging through the trees in the jungle, they don't let go of one branch until the next is firmly in their grasp.3 -
Lady_ov_leisure wrote: »All I can say is, I don’t understand why.. surely you should leave the one you’re with before you play around with someone else.. I don’t understand cheaters at all 🥴
Safety net. Like the monkey swinging through the trees in the jungle, they don't let go of one branch until the next is firmly in their grasp.
Some of them want to hang on to both branches, letting neither go. It's just selfish. These people also tend to be very insecure with themselves.5
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