WHY do people CHEAT?

Cause the game is going on and on and on and they just want it to end so they can go to bed

Cheaters think that they are doing something good when they cheat but at the end of there fantasy world the grass is never green on the side, before any one decide to stray they need to really think if it is worth it, the innocent is the one that hurts the most, some people just don't have moral and values

more_oomph wrote: »

sometimes I encourage my partner to cheat

I like to point out hot men and ask her, "would you jump his bones?"

nothing would make me prouder than seeing my sweet babygirl bag a stone cold hottie

and she wants the same for me

stop living in the dark ages, people

This is adorable

honey_honey_12 wrote: »

more_oomph wrote: »

sometimes I encourage my partner to cheat

I like to point out hot men and ask her, "would you jump his bones?"

nothing would make me prouder than seeing my sweet babygirl bag a stone cold hottie

and she wants the same for me

stop living in the dark ages, people

My gosh lookit these prudes

more_oomph wrote: »

sometimes I encourage my partner to cheat

I like to point out hot men and ask her, "would you jump his bones?"

nothing would make me prouder than seeing my sweet babygirl bag a stone cold hottie

and she wants the same for me

stop living in the dark ages, people

There’s a different word for that

steelrod1 wrote: »

more_oomph wrote: »

sometimes I encourage my partner to cheat

I like to point out hot men and ask her, "would you jump his bones?"

nothing would make me prouder than seeing my sweet babygirl bag a stone cold hottie

and she wants the same for me

stop living in the dark ages, people

Something about your post doesn't sound reasonable. Just don't agree with this behavior. Nuff said...

Depends what you mean by "cheating"...is a kiss cheating? Flirting? How about emotional affairs of the heart that don't involve physical intimacy? Physical affairs with no emotions involved? Are drunk texts cheating? Is the closeness that results in a "work spouses" cheating?

Clearly...I don't know the answer (ha ha ha) I suppose the basic reasons are either a) character flaw; b) personal or relationship insecurity or c) perception that something NECESSARY is lacking or d) person doesn't value the relationship

bellababy9031 wrote: »

Motorsheen wrote: »

Why?

Why?

Because that cozy, corner room at the El Dorado Motor Lodge ain't going to rent itself, amiright?

Do they have a free continental breakfast?

Asking for a friend.

Nobody knows.. they don't stay long.. gone back home before mornin.

I heard from a "friend"

bellababy9031 wrote: »

Motorsheen wrote: »

Why?

Why?

Because that cozy, corner room at the El Dorado Motor Lodge ain't going to rent itself, amiright?

Do they have a free continental breakfast?

Asking for a friend.

Probably just those sticky buns you get at a super 8 🤨

because they can

Speakeasy76 wrote: »

One that I think of is that the cheater is unhappy in their relationship,or maybe "settled" for their current partner in the first place thinking they could grow to love him/her. When one is married, esp. with kids, it takes a lot to end things because it is a HUGE change and adjustment.

Long time ago, over 30 years now, a friend of a friend was marrying a woman under those circumstances. He'd confided in my friend that he wasn't in love with his fiancee but he thought she'd make a great mother so that's why he had decided to marry her. As far as I could tell they had nothing in common.... they'd started dating in high school when you have everything in common but had grown in different directions since then. You could see the young woman was head over heels for him though.

I wonder how long it lasted.

In terms of long term relationships I’d say it was probably because one of the couple wasn’t having their needs met, be it emotionally or sexually and as such the other person finds that in someone else. It gives them a sense of fulfilment and of being whole again despite the need not being met inside their relationship.

It’s a sensitive topic and it’s hard to say right or wrong, as it totally depends on the individual’s circumstances. There could be someone who is struggling in his/her relationship and this other person is like the opportunity to overcome that pain. Though I’m personally supportive of the fact that cheating should be avoided at all cost, how we it’s the circumstances that guides you.

KL1887 wrote: »

ythannah wrote: »

KL1887 wrote: »

In terms of long term relationships I’d say it was probably because one of the couple wasn’t having their needs met, be it emotionally or sexually and as such the other person finds that in someone else. It gives them a sense of fulfilment and of being whole again despite the need not being met inside their relationship.

That's such a vague, insubstantial rationalization though.

First you have to separate what are truly "needs" from "wants".

How much responsibility lies on the partner to fulfil the other person's "needs", and how much on the individual self?

Has the partner clearly articulated what they "need" from the other person, and is that person actually refusing to make any effort to meet the requests, or have they been set an insurmountable task with shifting goalposts that they can never satisfy?

I’m talking basic relationship needs, not own personal needs, those area different.
In a relationship each party needs to feel that they are listened to, valued, they are wanted, desired. When aspects of that are ignored on a frequent basis, even if communicated effectively that it’s an element that’s missing is when people tend to seek it elsewhere.
For example, a small proportion of relationships end up in sexless marriages, very rarely do these relationships survive simply because the lack of intimacy causes a whole host of additional effects. Like reduced self esteem, paranoia, being touch starved, feelings of frustration, resentment and loneliness. Those feelings put the other party at an increased risk of affair be it emotional or physical because they will seek that missing aspect elsewhere, even if they don’t intend to. Many partners of people in sexless relationships will say that every other part of their relationship is great, but that area is one they cannot get over.
That example can be switched out for several other basics in a relationship and the result will be that if you aren’t left feeling secure in your relationship naturally it will be sought somewhere else.

I've been commenting on this post a lot because it's so relevant to my life right now, and honestly not a position I thought I'd be in.

My husband and I have been in an *almost* sexless marriage for a long time now, by my choice. To me, it is more of a duty, an obligation, but he would want to do it a lot more. If anyone should be cheating, it should be him. I wouldn't blame him at all and honestly, it would be a relief. I have tried to convince myself for a long time that I could be ok with staying married to him as more as my best friend and father of my children and not a romantic partner, but that thought just made me so depressed when I thought about it at night. It's also not fair to him at all. However, I've finally accepted that I'm not physically attracted to him anymore, and don't know if I ever felt all that attracted. When I met him, though, even though he wasn't my "type" in many ways, I was looking for stability and companionship after a certain phase of my life. He fulfilled that for me, plus he is kind, hard-working, smart, funny/goofy, etc. I tried to convince myself that makes a good husband and that would be ok, but don't know if I was ever "in love" with him.

In reconnecting with my old flame (which is all I can really call him since our relationship was so new before he had to leave), I had forgotten how many of my own needs were not being met in a relationship, and not necessarily in a way my husband could provide. This old flame and I had an intense, yet short-lived, relationship and I remember how I felt when I first met him and when I was with him, even talking to him now. We aren't having an affair now, not a physical one anyway, but it is definitely headed towards emotional, if not there already. I can honestly say I never felt that way with my husband, and it's not just about physical attraction. In fact, this old flame isn't probably a guy that I would feel head-over-heels just by physical looks alone. It's a combination of factors.

As I said in my previous posts, I was unhappy and thinking of divorce long before I reconnected with this other guy, but remembering all these old feelings and realizing what's important to me has given me the courage to ask for one. It's what's fair to not only me, but definitely my husband and my kids. He doesn't deserve a wife that is only lukewarm and deserves to be loved the way he should be loved. This other guy has had no direct involvement in that decision at all and never crossed lines that I didn't first, either. However, I'd be lying if I said that knowing that I can talk to him without guilt and do the things I really want to do isn't a motivating factor...and he lives 6 hours away, so it won't be easy, either.