Dating/Relationship Dealbreakers...

135

Replies

  • Kalrez
    Kalrez Posts: 655 Member
    Things that don't work for me:

    - Hates cats, esp MY cats
    - Wants a lot of kids (a lot being 2+) or already has kids
    - Illegal drug use or abuse
    - Pushy religious views
    - Wants to go to bars/clubs every weekend
    - Incapable of doing things alone
    - Unable to let me have some alone time
    - Doesn't *kitten*
    - Seriously thinks a woman's place is in the kitchen
    - Racist, Homophobic
    - Rabid Alabama fan
    - Manchild
    - Large amount of debt (not inc student loans) and/or bad with finances

    Basically, be an adult. I'm not here to be your mommy. I have other preferences, but they're not deal breakers. You can be a Christian or Republican, but don't spend the entirety of our relationship trying to convert me. You can have only a high school education, but don't stop learning news things.

    ETA:

    - Uber patriotic and/or military
    - Anti-choice
    - Pretty/metro
    - Significantly shorter than me
  • jarrettd
    jarrettd Posts: 872 Member
    Needy/clingy
    Hairy
    No sense of humor
    Girls named Debbie or Angela

    WTH? I'm not in the market, but why would my name exclude? Some personal baggage there?

    BTW, I'm Debra. Debi was my young, evil twin. :laugh:
  • wriglucy
    wriglucy Posts: 1,064 Member
    I like a lot of these!
    How about too...at least for me....uneducated. I went on a date with a guy and mentioned that I was a "perpetual student" and he had to ask me what "perpetual" meant. Aye aye aye :)
    And for me....liberal :)
  • nikirushka
    nikirushka Posts: 27
    Hmmm, let's see.

    Uneducated for me too
    Homophobes, racists etc.
    Arrogant
    Wants kids - I don't do kids. At all. Don't understand them, don't get on with them, don't want them!
    Someone who tries to put a limit on how many dogs I have!
    Come to that, someone who doesn't like dogs! Pointless. Totally.
    Immaturity - can't stand it.
    Overtly religious - no problem with it - each to their own and fair enough - but not religious myself at all so it'd be a bit odd to me.
    Smoker - HATE HATE HATE. It killed my mum, it will kill my dad and my brother (not that the latter will be a loss to the world).
    Heavy drinker - a bit, fair enough. But not a bingey, get-razzed-every-weekend type.
    Drug user at any level
  • 36charlotte
    36charlotte Posts: 17
    My top three...

    does not know the Bible
    does not work hard
    does not love his family
  • adrian_indy
    adrian_indy Posts: 1,444 Member
    Has a weiner.
  • ladylu11
    ladylu11 Posts: 631 Member
    kinda surprised at the religious/conservative/republican hate...but to each his own. there is always someone for everyone out there.

    ill stay a proud conservative that believes...

    agreed!
  • kimziebaby
    kimziebaby Posts: 133 Member
    Pessimistic
    Reliant on drugs or alcohol
    Playing the victim in life
    unmotivated
    lazy
    unintelligent
    critical
    prone to passing on negative news
    unsupportive
    unwilling to communicate openly
    super religious or conservative
    judgemental
    homophobic/sexist/anti-choice
    violent
    easily angered

    ^^ this
  • ShannonR16385
    ShannonR16385 Posts: 3 Member
    Dealbreakers for me:

    Religious
    Republican
    Anti-choice
    Smoking
    Racist

    Add unable to support themselves and this is gold.
  • ladylu11
    ladylu11 Posts: 631 Member
    my dealbreakers:

    doesn't believe in God.
    doesn't like football
    rude
    negative outlook
    thinks they are better than others
    don't like those who take themselves too seriously (because I love to laugh and have fun)
    and absolutely no addicts!
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    I will never date:

    A liberal
    Someone who lacks work ethic/ a job
    Someone with bad manners
    An alcoholic(but I prefer someone who enjoys drinking responsibly)
    Someone who has bad taste in music accordintg to my standards :laugh:
    Someone with violent tendencies
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
    oh
    and if I was to end current relationship never again would I date somebody who couldn't reach me within 30 mintues.
    Ever
  • Goldenwoof
    Goldenwoof Posts: 535 Member
    Dealbreakers for me:

    Religious
    Republican
    Anti-choice
    Smoking
    Racist

    :flowerforyou:

    Very possibly the perfect list.
  • jend114
    jend114 Posts: 1,058 Member
    Pessimistic
    Reliant on drugs or alcohol
    Playing the victim in life
    unmotivated
    lazy
    unintelligent
    critical
    prone to passing on negative news
    unsupportive
    unwilling to communicate openly
    super religious or conservative
    judgemental
    homophobic/sexist/anti-choice
    violent
    easily angered

    Ill take your list and raise it a "doesnt like kids"

    all that
  • springtrio
    springtrio Posts: 429 Member
    Republican (Bible Beater type)
    Has an unhealthy BMI (so I don't come across a shallow *****, someone who maintains an active lifestyle - never again can I tolerate being married/in a relationship with someone who isn't)
    Racist
    Hates Kids (I come with a lot of "baggage" - 3 sons)
  • adrian_indy
    adrian_indy Posts: 1,444 Member
    Things that don't work for me:

    - Hates cats, esp MY cats
    - Wants a lot of kids (a lot being 2+) or already has kids
    - Illegal drug use or abuse
    - Pushy religious views
    - Wants to go to bars/clubs every weekend
    - Incapable of doing things alone
    - Unable to let me have some alone time
    - Doesn't *kitten*
    - Seriously thinks a woman's place is in the kitchen
    - Racist, Homophobic
    - Rabid Alabama fan
    - Manchild
    - Large amount of debt (not inc student loans) and/or bad with finances

    Basically, be an adult. I'm not here to be your mommy. I have other preferences, but they're not deal breakers. You can be a Christian or Republican, but don't spend the entirety of our relationship trying to convert me. You can have only a high school education, but don't stop learning news things.

    ETA:

    - Uber patriotic and/or military
    - Anti-choice
    - Pretty/metro
    - Significantly shorter than me

    Why no military? If I weren't married, I nail every other requirement.
  • dayzeerock
    dayzeerock Posts: 918 Member
    Okay, so I already posted mine, and I'm not religious, but my friend just posted this on her Facebook and I just had to share, because it's pretty funny!

    "To all the girls who are in a hurry to have a boyfriend or get married, a piece of Biblical advice: " Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz." While you are waiting on YOUR Boaz, don't settle for any of his relatives; Broke-az, Po-az, Lyin-az, Cheating-az, Dumb-az, Drunk-az, Cheap-az, Lockedup-az, , Goodfornothing-az, Lazy-az, and especially his third cousin Beatinyo-az. Wait on your Boaz and make sure he respects Yoaz.... :)"
  • Huskeryogi
    Huskeryogi Posts: 578 Member
    Pessimistic
    Reliant on drugs or alcohol
    Playing the victim in life
    unmotivated
    lazy
    unintelligent
    critical
    prone to passing on negative news
    unsupportive
    unwilling to communicate openly
    super religious or conservative
    judgemental
    homophobic/sexist/anti-choice
    violent
    easily angered

    Love all of these esp "playing the victim". That drives me crazy. Don't complain about missed job opportunities 10 min after telling me how you didn't go to work today because "you didn't feel like it".
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    Why no military? If I weren't married, I nail every other requirement.
    I can relate to this. I would never have married someone in the military. My father was military. I could not endure what my mother went through.
  • adrian_indy
    adrian_indy Posts: 1,444 Member
    Why no military? If I weren't married, I nail every other requirement.
    I can relate to this. I would never have married someone in the military. My father was military. I could not endure what my mother went through.

    But are you forsaking all men in the Military, or just lifers? Her original post said uber patriotic/military, which leads me to believe she lumped all military men into the same category. Just asking.
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
    1. Drugs aren't ok, addictions aren't ok (of any kind)
    2. Has to like my dog (I'm not budging on this)
    3. My dog has to like them (she is a better judge of character than I am)
    4. Not want to marry me on date 3 (yes this happened, yes, I continued to date him until he dropped the "L bomb" and I dropped him)
    5. Has to understand I'm his girlfriend, not his property of any kind, I will my my own choices and he can kiss my boots if he doesn't like it.

    all of this! except my dog is a He.

    also :

    cannot be conservative/ultra religious for another faith

    has to be tolerant of faith/sexual identity/race/et al

    CAN NOT WANT/HAVE KIDS! i am not a mom. i am an awesome auntie, but i will NOT have kids, and i will NOT raise yours - and yes i have broken up w/ ppl for this.

    has to be nice to my mom, my family, his family and waitstaff.

    cannot be serious. i am snarky and i love to have fun. i could not deal with a stick-up-the-bum person.
  • rybo
    rybo Posts: 5,424 Member
    Wow there were some interesting things that made people's lists.
    A lot I figured were things that were just taken for granted such as good hygene, not being in jail, not being violent, drug addict, etc.

    Other than a girl being a smoker,(which I actually broke before, but she quit just a couple months in)
    I'm not sure I have any real deal breaker issues where the situation would even get that far for me to say everything was good except...(insert deal breaker)

    I can list a few things that I'm pretty sure would just never work from the start
    PETA member
    Vegan/Vegetarian (although I dated a girl who was hugely into the raw thing, but broke it all the time cause she enjoyed a good burger, I will say some of those raw recipes were quite tasty)
    Screaming Liberal
    Dumber than a mud fence (See above)
  • statia152
    statia152 Posts: 558
    When the guy calls you by your sister's name in the middle of sex. It kinda ended that relationship fast!
  • ycc1964
    ycc1964 Posts: 698 Member
    can I just copy and paste yours?


    and then add:

    Must have their own place, preferrably not a jail cell.

    ROTFL
  • LadyG33
    LadyG33 Posts: 46
    Yucky teeth, bad breath or body odor!
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    Deal-breakers for me, in no particular order.

    - Married or in a committed relationship (BTDT, and it's not based on morals that I say this)

    - Cheating

    - Abusive in any way (to humans, animals, and the earth)

    - Addictive personality (drugs, alcohol, gambling, ho's)

    - No job

    - Does not like children.

    - Rigid in beliefs (religious, political, etc.) Gonna need you to respect the other sides of your own argument otherwise I'll think you don't know WTF you're talking about.

    - A lack of ambition (I'd like my partner to be able to look forward and set goals for himself, even if they're small)

    - Felonious criminal record or recent misdemeanor.

    - Poor character.

    - Dishonest

    - Financially dirt-poor. (I've been struggling my whole life, and I've helped my partners up as far as I could along the way. It's time for me to keep going and enjoy my life without someone else's financial burden.)
  • T_R_A_V
    T_R_A_V Posts: 1,629 Member
    Smoking is my #1 deal breaker
  • bigdawg025
    bigdawg025 Posts: 774 Member
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    Why no military? If I weren't married, I nail every other requirement.
    I can relate to this. I would never have married someone in the military. My father was military. I could not endure what my mother went through.
    But are you forsaking all men in the Military, or just lifers? Her original post said uber patriotic/military, which leads me to believe she lumped all military men into the same category. Just asking.
    Fair question. I could not be married to a man currently in the military. If he had served before our relationship, that's perfectly acceptable. I can't speak to what the other poster meant, but this is how I feel.
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
    weighs less than I
    Heh, I wouldn't have gone out with anyone since 1990 if that were a dealbreaker for me!
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