Dating/Relationship Dealbreakers...

124

Replies

  • amelia_atlantic
    amelia_atlantic Posts: 926 Member
    Pessimistic
    Reliant on drugs or alcohol
    Playing the victim in life
    unmotivated
    lazy
    unintelligent
    critical
    prone to passing on negative news
    unsupportive
    unwilling to communicate openly
    super religious or conservative
    judgemental
    homophobic/sexist/anti-choice
    violent
    easily angered

    YES! This is pretty much my list exactly.
  • bigdawg025
    bigdawg025 Posts: 774 Member
    My dealbreakers in no particular order -

    Lazy
    Doesn't take care of themselves
    Gives me no sympathy
    Wants to completely change me... yes... I love gambling and drinking!
    Wouldn't support my weight loss journey
    No job - this isn't 1950.
    SMOKING!

    Luckily I don't have to worry about any of these! haha :P
  • JulieSD
    JulieSD Posts: 567
    - Has kids
    - Religious
    - Gonorrhea
    - Vegan
    - Liberal/Democrat (I'd casually date one but never take her seriously)
    - Unemployed
    - Uneducated

    The last three usually go hand in hand.

    This made me LOL for a few minutes. What a bold statement at the end. I'm still laughing. I'm an educated and surprisingly employed(!!) Liberal. I love a closed mind, just means I have a challenge xoxo
  • ShannaKayB
    ShannaKayB Posts: 157 Member
    Pessimistic
    Reliant on drugs or alcohol
    Playing the victim in life
    unmotivated
    lazy
    unintelligent
    critical
    prone to passing on negative news
    unsupportive
    unwilling to communicate openly
    super religious or conservative
    judgemental
    homophobic/sexist/anti-choice
    violent
    easily angered

    All of this!
  • MrBrown72
    MrBrown72 Posts: 407 Member
    Doesn't understand my love of things with blinky LEDs
    gets weird if I make more money than he does.
    No sense of adventure or need to travel and see new things

    the biggie: hates kids

    Everything should have LED's it's how you know it's important and functioning. Okay breasts don't "have" to have LED's however...
  • loristroud
    loristroud Posts: 138 Member
    Has to be able to survive a zombie apocalypse.
  • chocolateandvodka
    chocolateandvodka Posts: 1,850 Member
    bad hygeine
    average intelligence or below
    height of less than 72" (men)
    bad grammar/spelling
    they MUST have a vocabulary above 8th grade level
    does hard drugs - ever
    codependent on anything - me, parents, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, anything.
    little or no concern for health and wellbeing
    low or average sex drive
    unwillingness to explore the unknown
    wants children
    has children
    narrow-minded in any way
    Vegan or ultra-religious - these are basically the same for me
    doesn't think for themselves
    doesn't handle anger well
    unmotivated
    more than 15 years my senior.
    belittling
    STD's of course
    does not understand the meaning of "woo".

    i'm sure there are more - i'm a picky person.
  • mjshmily
    mjshmily Posts: 137 Member
    -must be employed
    -must be reasonably stable (ie. not homeless)
    -must be sincere and honest
    -should be younger than my dad
    -should weigh less than my horse
    -must not smell (unless he's just getting off work or some other reasonable excuse)
    -must have an IQ higher than a houseplant

    Seriously though, I just want someone that would be willing to get to know me and not be judgemental.
  • blue4myeyes
    blue4myeyes Posts: 93 Member
    - Has kids
    - Religious
    - Gonorrhea
    - Vegan
    - Liberal/Democrat (I'd casually date one but never take her seriously)
    - Unemployed
    - Uneducated

    The last three usually go hand in hand.

    This made me LOL for a few minutes. What a bold statement at the end. I'm still laughing. I'm an educated and surprisingly employed(!!) Liberal. I love a closed mind, just means I have a challenge xoxo

    I totally agree!! Educated, employed, Liberal -- and proud of it!

    I'm sure there are plenty of uneducated and unemployed Conservatives and Liberals just as there are plenty of both Liberals and Conservatives that ARE educated and employed. I don't find that the education and employment have any relation to political views.
  • Saruman_w
    Saruman_w Posts: 1,531 Member
    Think my main ones are

    smoking
    drug-use
    alcoholic
    already has kids ( would rather have my own one day)
    excessive tattoos ( I can tolerate a few.. but all over? A turn off )
    somewhat healthy eating habits ( not a requirement, but it would be nice to have someone keep me in line )
    whackjob in either end of the political spectrum ( I like a middle-ground )
  • adrian_indy
    adrian_indy Posts: 1,444 Member
    Why no military? If I weren't married, I nail every other requirement.
    I can relate to this. I would never have married someone in the military. My father was military. I could not endure what my mother went through.
    But are you forsaking all men in the Military, or just lifers? Her original post said uber patriotic/military, which leads me to believe she lumped all military men into the same category. Just asking.
    Fair question. I could not be married to a man currently in the military. If he had served before our relationship, that's perfectly acceptable. I can't speak to what the other poster meant, but this is how I feel.

    Thanks. I just wanted to know if she meant it as she didn't want to be in the military life sytle, if her experience with military men in general had turned her off, or maybe she was a pacifist that could never date a soldier. Not arguing with it, but if some one had said, No Doctors, or no Fireman, I would have asked why as well.
  • sleepytexan
    sleepytexan Posts: 3,138 Member
    kinda surprised at the religious/conservative/republican hate...but to each his own. there is always someone for everyone out there.

    ill stay a proud conservative that believes...

    a good man.
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
    When the guy calls you by your sister's name in the middle of sex. It kinda ended that relationship fast!

    What... the... :noway: :noway: Yeah, I can see how that would end your relationship fast!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    Needy/clingy
    Hairy
    No sense of humor
    Girls named Debbie or Angela

    WTH? I'm not in the market, but why would my name exclude? Some personal baggage there?

    BTW, I'm Debra. Debi was my young, evil twin. :laugh:
    Probably has them tattooed on already.
  • sleepytexan
    sleepytexan Posts: 3,138 Member
    ninerbuff, I think your profile pic is too sexual-looking. I might have to report you.
  • Dona_Maria
    Dona_Maria Posts: 78 Member
    Clingy, Cheater, Liar, No sense of humor, Aggressive, Macho-man, Has no job!, Thinks he knows it all, Republican (Bible Thumper type), Overly extrovert, Doesn't like animals, Has too many kids, Self centered, Arrogant, Bad hygiene, Reliant on drugs or alcohol, Playing the victim in life, unmotivated/ lazy, unintelligent, critical, prone to passing on negative news, unsupportive, unwilling to communicate openly, super religious or conservative, judgmental, Hates, homophobic/sexist/anti-choice, violent, easily angered, Racists

    Geesh I'm tired.

    On the positive side, I love someone who is down to earth, artsy, geeky, into MCM, likes self-expression, open-minded, family originated, with not much baggage (see above).
  • Kalrez
    Kalrez Posts: 655 Member
    Why no military? If I weren't married, I nail every other requirement.
    I can relate to this. I would never have married someone in the military. My father was military. I could not endure what my mother went through.
    But are you forsaking all men in the Military, or just lifers? Her original post said uber patriotic/military, which leads me to believe she lumped all military men into the same category. Just asking.
    Fair question. I could not be married to a man currently in the military. If he had served before our relationship, that's perfectly acceptable. I can't speak to what the other poster meant, but this is how I feel.

    Thanks. I just wanted to know if she meant it as she didn't want to be in the military life sytle, if her experience with military men in general had turned her off, or maybe she was a pacifist that could never date a soldier. Not arguing with it, but if some one had said, No Doctors, or no Fireman, I would have asked why as well.

    Been busy around the house and haven't checked the forums since I posted.

    My reason for the whole "No military" thing is that I'm not patriotic. I am a pacifist. I don't ZOMG LOVE AMERICA, so I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who potentially thinks that way. I don't want to be with someone who is pro-war or pro-military. Someone who gets worked up over 9/11 or thinks that the Middle East is evil and out to get us ... that's just not gonna work for me.

    Active duty is a definite no-go. But if someone served in the past to pay for college but doesn't look at this country through rose colored glasses, then it's a maybe.
  • TK266
    TK266 Posts: 3,638 Member
    Smoking and/or other addictions. would be a deal breaker, even if the person was perfect in everyone way. most other things I would raise would not wash someone out immediately, but might affect long term status.
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    - Has kids
    - Religious
    - Gonorrhea
    - Vegan
    - Liberal/Democrat (I'd casually date one but never take her seriously)
    - Unemployed
    - Uneducated

    The last three usually go hand in hand.

    I love this. Thank you for the laugh!!!
  • voluptas63
    voluptas63 Posts: 602 Member
    - Doesn't watch football
    - Doesn't know what football is
    - Thinks football is silly
    - Vegan/Vegetarian
    - Non-alcoholic
    - Hates mushrooms
    - Liberal
    - Anti-American
    - Doesn't watch cartoons
    - Hates guns
  • juliesummers
    juliesummers Posts: 738 Member
    bad hygeine
    average intelligence or below
    height of less than 72" (men)
    bad grammar/spelling
    they MUST have a vocabulary above 8th grade level
    does hard drugs - ever
    codependent on anything - me, parents, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, anything.
    little or no concern for health and wellbeing
    low or average sex drive
    unwillingness to explore the unknown
    wants children
    has children
    narrow-minded in any way
    Vegan or ultra-religious - these are basically the same for me
    doesn't think for themselves
    doesn't handle anger well
    unmotivated
    more than 15 years my senior.
    belittling
    STD's of course
    does not understand the meaning of "woo".

    i'm sure there are more - i'm a picky person.




    How are vegan and ultra-relgious AT ALL similar?
  • sleepytexan
    sleepytexan Posts: 3,138 Member
    - Doesn't watch football
    - Doesn't know what football is
    - Thinks football is silly
    - Vegan/Vegetarian
    - Non-alcoholic
    - Hates mushrooms
    - Liberal
    - Anti-American
    - Doesn't watch cartoons
    - Hates guns

    sheesh Volupta, you knocked me out with the first 3! and we would have been so cute together :( I really love mushrooms, though.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    ninerbuff, I think your profile pic is too sexual-looking. I might have to report you.
    I'll be in San Diego in November. You can cuff me then.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    Forgot these:

    Compulsive spender
    Hoarder
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
    Forgot these:

    Compulsive spender
    Hoarder

    oh my gosh I didn't even think about hoarder.
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    mean
    evil
    poor
    lazy
    rude
    depressing/pessimistic
    uses drugs or abuses alcohol
    no chemistry
    dangerous/thrill seeker (as in extreme sports, speeding on the freeway, throwing away money at the casino etc).
    selfish
    crazy
    unfaithful
    unstable
    dislikes animals
    STD like Aids
  • vanessaclarkgbr
    vanessaclarkgbr Posts: 731 Member
    Oh dear, I'm so fussy nowadays the list would be long and tedious. Not because I think I'm the dog's doodah's more that I've had plenty of on/off time on my own and other than missing the hugs and stuff it's better to be single than in a bad relationship for me - I've generally got one eye on the emergency exit!!
  • barbarajean3
    barbarajean3 Posts: 132 Member
    -unmotivated to work/job
    -rude/nasty
    -didn't want more and didn't like children
    -smoke
    -drugs
    -no sense of humor or adventure

    otherwise we're good to go lol
    Damn you must have dated my ex husband:laugh:
  • meerkat70
    meerkat70 Posts: 4,605 Member
    To the obvious alcoholic, incapable of fidelity, etc type characteristics.... I'd add that I find it hard to love a man who can't keep his mouth shut when chewing. Lipsmackers. Ugh.
  • hikeout470
    hikeout470 Posts: 628 Member
    1. a spending or money management problem
    2. unhealthy relationship with his mother (emotional incest)
    3. unable to enjoy alcohol responsibly
    4. doesn't like fox news
    5. unfaithful or untrustworthy
    6. a Bible thumper or anyone in his family is a Bible thumper
    7. Illegal activity (or anyone in his family participating in anything illegal)
    8. not on the same page about sex
    9. not on the same page about affection
    10. not over a previous relationship
    11. not on the same or similar page about politics
    12. doesn't work out
    13. smoking
    14. can't pass the dog test
    15. over 40 and never been married
    16 not on the same page about the roles of men and women
    17. jealous or insecure
    18. Uninteresting

    I guess many of these things would never make it to pre-relationship status. But unfortunately, many of them were discovered after several dates.
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