Note to self - you need to do more work!

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I lost 65 pounds in about a year. I was at my goal of a healthy BMI. Then I thought I could ease up a little to see if I could maintain my weight. I couldn't. Slowly but surely my weight crept up and up. Each time I saw a gain or felt the clothes get tighter I thought, it's okay, I will just start again on (fill in date).... Days turned into months and here I sit 31 pounds up from July 1, 2021.

I know that I need to do more inner work. Focus on and heal from the emotional triggers. It doesn't matter how I am feeling, happy, sad, angry, overwhelmed...I eat.
During the course of the year when I was losing I had ups and downs, but I never stayed down. Now I can't seem to shake it and find it very difficult to get motivated. I am still exercising 3-4 times per week but I can't get a handle on the food. I binge at least once a week and overeat most days. I am back to drinking again too.

I know I am not alone in this. I could use some encouragement.

Replies

  • ewmerritt18
    ewmerritt18 Posts: 1 Member
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    I'm there with you. The number keeps going up and I feel like I can maybe do it and then I don't. Discouraging.
  • LiveOnceBeHappy
    LiveOnceBeHappy Posts: 433 Member
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    I *just* reached my goal weight, and this is exactly what I’m afraid I will do too.

    I don’t know the answer other than to see a goal and use the same mental determination you did when you lost the first time.

    Denise
  • girlwithcurls2
    girlwithcurls2 Posts: 2,276 Member
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    You are definitely not alone... I'm right beside you. I too, recognized that the weight was coming back on, but lied to myself and said that I had to take into account "fluctuations." Yes... well... Ehem. Being in the throes of menopause didn't help. My sleep was severely disrupted for months, my energy level was miserable, my determination usually faded by about 3:30pm every day. And I have known this body for 54 years, so I KNOW that I can't do anything for a few days or even weeks, and expect to see results. I have to grind through about 2-3 months, trusting that it will work, and then there's a shift.

    It's hard to get those wheels going again. My entire movement routine changed completely. Everything from what I had access to do, as well as the time available to do it. But, like you, I'm re-committing and logging everything. I was in a routine once and it worked for 7 years. I can do it again. I'm always reminding myself to be kind to me (but not too kind!) :)
  • imgwendolyn2015
    imgwendolyn2015 Posts: 347 Member
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    You are definitely not alone... I'm right beside you. I too, recognized that the weight was coming back on, but lied to myself and said that I had to take into account "fluctuations." Yes... well... Ehem. Being in the throes of menopause didn't help. My sleep was severely disrupted for months, my energy level was miserable, my determination usually faded by about 3:30pm every day. And I have known this body for 54 years, so I KNOW that I can't do anything for a few days or even weeks, and expect to see results. I have to grind through about 2-3 months, trusting that it will work, and then there's a shift.

    It's hard to get those wheels going again. My entire movement routine changed completely. Everything from what I had access to do, as well as the time available to do it. But, like you, I'm re-committing and logging everything. I was in a routine once and it worked for 7 years. I can do it again. I'm always reminding myself to be kind to me (but not too kind!) :)

    Routines!! Yes! I have great ideas, just need to make them reality now. Make a plan and stick to it. No matter what.
  • imgwendolyn2015
    imgwendolyn2015 Posts: 347 Member
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    JaysFan82 wrote: »
    It took me a while to get going until I found an activity that I enjoy : swimming laps. My energy levels are through the roof and I can't believe the weight I'm losing. Plus I'm getting better at it.

    I am looking for this too. I need to branch out to find the activity that I will love. Walking on the treadmill is definitely NOT it. Lol
  • imgwendolyn2015
    imgwendolyn2015 Posts: 347 Member
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    I'm there with you. The number keeps going up and I feel like I can maybe do it and then I don't. Discouraging.

    I guess we just need to take a step every day. Big or small, just keep moving forward!
  • Xerogs
    Xerogs Posts: 328 Member
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    Sometimes I get discouraged because NO ONE that I am close to is on the same page as me. They all drink too much and don't exercise at all. It is hard to be alone it in. I should just be grateful that I have a healthy body to do the things I love. Maybe I will find new friends! :)

    I know how you feel. I have friends that do the same thing but even though they look fit they are not. It's OK to be alone and concentrate on your own goals. Everyone is different.

    People yo yo on diets because they follow some plan for a limited time until they hit some goal and then go back to eating and drinking the way they did before the diet. I've done it on more than one occasion. Whatever you adopt needs to be long term and sustainable to a point where its a habit and then its just normal. I've not had any added sugar now for quite a while, I don't miss it and the health benefits of eating this way definitely outweigh the bad health path I was on. Like cwolfman13 stated once you hit certain goals then its a small change to maintain if you even need to make that change sometimes a body will remain in balance at a certain point. I can overeat with the best of them so these days I really concentrate on eating foods that satiate and eliminate the trigger foods especially added sugar.

    It's a bit selfish but you have to do what is right for you plus you have to make the decision you want to change. Mine happened after I looked over my bloodwork during a physical with my Doctor and it looked like I was going to have to add medications with more side effects. Afterwards I went and ate a two large red chile bacon breakfast burritos. It seems like a no brainer but in that moment something finally clicked in me. I realized I was slowly killing myself via my food choices. I didn't want to keep adding in more medications because of my bad lifestyle choices so I made the decision to change and those changes need to remain in place for the rest of my life. I also got to the root of why I was eating the way I was, it was partially due to the addictive nature of the foods that I ate but more so some unresolved emotional issues over the past two decades. People change a lot over their lifetimes and its OK to let a part of your old life go to open a door to something new.

    None of this is easy but it gets easier the longer you hold onto the things that make you better and let go of the things that don't
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,867 Member
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    As maintenance goes, I maintained for almost 8 years. During my weight loss process I took it upon myself to develop healthy habits, both dietary and exercise wise that were sustainable long term and independent of just losing weight. I realized early on that there isn't a great deal of difference between losing weight and maintaining weight...there is a little more leeway, but in reality we're talking a handful of calories. I typically aim for a 500 calorie per day deficit from maintenance to lose...that's a couple of snacks or an extra serving of something or a desert. The reality is that we just can't go back to whatever we were doing before, there has to be a new normal.

    @cwolfman13 This hit me with a dose of reality this morning. I don't know why I thought that I could get to my goal and then go back to old ways. I have to accept the healthier eating and consistent exercise as my new normal. That is a good thing because I truly do love it.
    Sometimes I get discouraged because NO ONE that I am close to is on the same page as me. They all drink too much and don't exercise at all. It is hard to be alone it in. I should just be grateful that I have a healthy body to do the things I love. Maybe I will find new friends! :)

    It does happen. My circle of friends has changed quite a bit over the last 9-10 years. Unfortunately, there are some of my old crew that I haven't actually seen in years...partly due to lifestyle and priorities and also partly due to a lot of things changing when I had kids. There was a group of us guys that would go to the sports bar every Sunday during football season to drink and watch the games...like get their at 11AM and I wouldn't leave until Sunday night football was over. Having kids wasn't really conducive to that, but I would still meet up with them for the afternoon game or something. When I started getting into fitness and trying to lose weight I found myself spending those afternoons out cycling or mountain biking and those relationships started to fade. There are a couple of them that I see now and then, maybe 4 or 5 times a year when we meet up at a brewery or something for a beer. Most of my old circle of friends weren't at all interested in fitness or anything...I'd invite them out for a MTB ride or a hike, but they'd rather just go to the bar (which I'm fine to do afterwards).

    Over the years I have made quite a circle of friends who are into fitness and health though. Years ago my best friend introduced me to a guy that was buying his house...guy is a trainer and he and his wife own their own gym. I was in the market for a trainer so I started working with him and my wife started working out with his wife. We all really hit it off and became close friends and do a lot of things together, including travel on occasion and we're always taking turns with sleepovers with each others kids. They're actually coming over this weekend for some grilling and hot tub time. The first time you do a tequila shot with your trainer is kinda weird though...

    When I first started cycling and mountain biking, I was joining "meet ups" online for group rides on the weekends...met a lot of folks there as well who I still ride with pretty regularly and a few that I hang out with regularly outside of riding. I've met all kinds of people at events as well. In fact I met my prior Dr. (he's now full time cardiology) at a road time trial race...he's an iron man triathlete and coaches his own team. We're not best buds, but we still keep in touch and occasionally see each other out on the bike path.

    Anyway, the more you're out there in that world, the more people you meet with similar interests.

  • imgwendolyn2015
    imgwendolyn2015 Posts: 347 Member
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    @cwolfman13 Tequila shot with the trainer...love it!

    I am hopeful that I will make some new friends along the way, but need to accept the fact that if I don't, it's still okay to do things myself. I sometimes enjoy the alone time anyway.

    @Xerogs I know I am addicted to sugar. That is where my bingeing is the worst. I am trying to detox from added sugar but it is SO hard. I am trying to get back to logging everything so that I can use the numbers game as a tool to stop overeating. Stress of life creeps in though!
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,867 Member
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    @cwolfman13 Tequila shot with the trainer...love it!

    I am hopeful that I will make some new friends along the way, but need to accept the fact that if I don't, it's still okay to do things myself. I sometimes enjoy the alone time anyway.

    @Xerogs I know I am addicted to sugar. That is where my bingeing is the worst. I am trying to detox from added sugar but it is SO hard. I am trying to get back to logging everything so that I can use the numbers game as a tool to stop overeating. Stress of life creeps in though!

    Yeah, I still do most of my stuff by myself. My wife is pretty into fitness too, but we have different interests. She will occasionally join me for some MTB and we usually hike together...but she's primarily a runner and I don't do that. It does help that she is also into fitness and nutrition, so we keep each other going. I'll be feeling lazy on a Saturday morning or whatever and think I'm just going to chill for the day...and then she comes out of the room geared up and tells me she's going for a run and will be back in an hour...and then I feel like I need to go do something to keep up.

    She used to do marathons and half marathons but she retired herself after she collapsed at a marathon in Lisbon, Portugal and was hospitalized. She doesn't do anything more than a 10K these days. She kind of half-assed her training for that race...she probably would have been fine though except there was also a heat wave moving through Lisbon...it was in October and temps are usually mid 70s but with the heat wave temps were around 90*F. I usually meet up with my MTB peeps a couple times per month to ride...haven't met up with my road group in awhile...I should probably do that, but I've also retired myself from century and half century rides and don't do as much road as I used to.
  • imgwendolyn2015
    imgwendolyn2015 Posts: 347 Member
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    @cwolfman13 That is awesome that your wife has the same interests. Mine is a completely different story. My husband has some skeletal issues that prevent him from doing much these days. He told me he wants to ride his bike though, so I am hopeful that he will feel good enough to do that.
    So, I must push myself!
    Her marathon collapse sounds absolutely awful and scary! I wish I was a runner. When I go to the gym I mostly bike and just walk as fast as I can on the treadmill...BORING!! Weather is finally starting to improve here so I can walk outside. At least it is a little more entertaining.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 32,816 Member
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    @cwolfman13 Tequila shot with the trainer...love it!

    I am hopeful that I will make some new friends along the way, but need to accept the fact that if I don't, it's still okay to do things myself. I sometimes enjoy the alone time anyway.

    @Xerogs I know I am addicted to sugar. That is where my bingeing is the worst. I am trying to detox from added sugar but it is SO hard. I am trying to get back to logging everything so that I can use the numbers game as a tool to stop overeating. Stress of life creeps in though!

    For sugar cravings specifically, some of us have found that if we make it a point to get several servings of fruit daily, cravings for less nutrient dense sweets (like baked goods, candy) gradually decline. This doesn't work for everyone, but I've seen others here say that it helped them, and it definitely helped me.

    I initially heard this idea from a registered dietitian who speculated that our bodies crave sweets when what's needed is more micronutrients, because (over the long sweep of human history) fruits are sweet and have micros, so we're a bit wired to crave sweets for that reason (among others).

    For me, late-in-day cravings - not sure if that's your pattern - are also fatigue related. As the day goes on, fatigue accumulates, and the body's energy-seeking behavior results in appetite spikes, possible especially for sweets (which provide quick energy). If that's part of the picture for you, efforts to improve sleep quality/quantity, manage stress (which is fatiguing), keep exercise intensity/duration/frequency energizing rather than exhausting - those can pay off in more manageable cravings level.

    If overeating episodes are more on the emotional side, as they are for many folks, those things above may be less helpful. In general, if the root problem isn't nutrition or true hunger, the solution isn't food. Sorting out the root causes can be hard, and working on them can also be hard. There's a payoff, though.

    Keep up your good efforts, you can work your way through the challenges if you simply keep experimenting, figuring out what works. Weight management is a process of continuous analysis and problem solving, in that sense.

    Best wishes!
  • dana_cousins
    dana_cousins Posts: 2 Member
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    I have been in or around the 170's for a very long time and how I did it was to report in every day.. and that is simply step on the scale and force myself to see where I am from yesterday. You should pick a app to set up how many calories you require to maintain your weight or if you need to lose weight to a healthy BMI... Aim for the middle of road BMI number, for the low may give you a look you don't like as too skinny and the max BMI wont' put your body in the best feel good shape. There are two things that you have to understand about healthy living, it goes with 3 important factors. Sleep, Exercise and Food Quality and Calories. I have been a part time vegan for the past few years in which I ate mainly plant base and fish and dairy. And for most part its a good starting point to healthy eating as you don't stress out to much on taking away all the food you grew up with and enjoy.. But after doing a lot of research on animal and fish consumption and dairy I decided to go full vegan and I must say it wasn't difficult as I thought it may be. One reason was I trusted the information as it enlighten me to see the path of better health.. yes on plant base only you can lose weight and maintain it , but most importantly its a cleaner way to live. There are a lot of good information regarding plant base and the science backs it up for a healthy heart and maybe even to avoid certain types of cancers. I will list a few helpful websites that I hope you will watch to understand the logical of eating clean from Vegan world. Good luck in your journey of healthy lifestyle and happiness.

    NUTRITIONFACTS.ORG

    https://www.pcrm.org
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 32,816 Member
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    OP has not mentioned any inclination toward veganism. Veganism is not a guarantee of either health or weight loss - really a tangent, honestly - and I say that as someone who's been a committed vegetarian for over 47 years (thin to obese and back again), not a shill for Big Meat. There are many excellent reasons to become vegan or vegetarian, but either one makes good nutrition slightly more difficult (not major, if someone has ethical concerns about meat consumption).

    Nutritionfacts and PCRM are both vegan advocacy organizations that claim to provide nutrition advice. Anyone considering fully plant based eating, veganism (which is different from simply eating no animal products), or vegetarianism should look for external reviews of these organizations before following their advice. (The reviews are not uniformly positive, to say the least.)

    If someone is seeking information about vegan nutrition, this is a much better source, an evidence-based source staffed by registered dietitians who are vegan.

    https://veganhealth.org/

    I'm not associated in any way with that site. I simply prefer factual information over advocacy-biased advice. I feel like many of the advocacy sites, by cherry picking and twisting the science, make all of us vegetarians, plant-based eaters, and vegans look bad.

    Some people find that eating more plants is a more satiating way to eat, eat fewer calories as a result, and therefore lose weight. (But there are overweight vegans, even whole foods ones, so there are no guarantees.) The average American would be healthier if s/he ate more plant foods, because we statistically tend not to get enough of them, according to mainstream authorities on nutrition. (But it's entirely feasible to eat lots of plants while also eating reasonable amounts of healthful meat/fish.)

    /rant /manifesto
  • NutritionCoachVee
    NutritionCoachVee Posts: 12 Member
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    Hey!

    Step 1 has already been accomplished in that you’ve recognised and accepted that you need to do some inner work.

    Depending on the root cause of your triggers, it can and will take time, how long it takes, I can’t say.

    What I will say from someone who has been there, it was the hardest yet most rewarding thing I’ve ever done in my life.

    Hopefully that’s things will bring you encouragement

    I applied for counselling. I had a bad experience and so I was worried it’d repeat itself, but the last counsellor I had was brilliant, so much so I cried when we did a mid session check in 😂

    Seriously though, working through the root cause, which was rejection in my case and like you, happy angry dad I ate to compensate those feelings, but once I allowed the healing to begin it was a game changer.

    I’m a Christian woman and my faith in Jesus helped too

    In that it gave me clarity on what was going on and once I identified the root in a safe space I begin working on the healing with took 18 months

    I focused on my mindset
    I focused on my diet
    The results

    More confident than I’ve ever been in my entire life

    I’ll encourage you with this, it takes time, and one step at a time, you’ve acknowledged that’s a huge step

    You’ve confessed it out loud

    The next step will be to sought some form of therapy

    Harley street, Talking Therapies, Better Help Counselling are key ones that I know

    Harley street you can choose a counsellor based on what you need and resonates with you the most

    If you need more specifics feel free to message me. Happy to help if needed

    But I believe you got this