What nobody tells you about losing weight

@Brennen11 I read your comment, 'How sick of thinking about food you can get', and thought I can sooo relate.

And then, @justanotherloser007 , asked what you meant and posed some potential meanings of your comment, which were ones I didn't even think of.

It is funny how we hear something and without the benefit of additional information or context, we ascribe a meaning to it that relates to our life (makes sense, but still...).

Anyway, I will share my thoughts on that comment, as applied to my life.

I am so sick of thinking about food for so much time throughout my every day! When to eat, what to eat, will it hold me over until I eat again, how many calories is it, will I be too low on available calories to eat later this evening...and on and on it goes. This is even with usually logging my food ahead of time each day.

I have been overweight for a good couple decades of my adult life (up and down that !?#! overweight portion of the BMI scale). I never had to think about my weight as a child, teen, and through most of my 20's, actually, probably not until after my second (of two) children at age 31 years. If I was hungry, I ate, and I ate whatever was available (both healthy and less healthy foods), but a balanced diet overall.

I am now on the high side of the normal BMI scale for my height, but still a few pounds from my desired weight. And I just wish I could go back to intuitive eating. Sadly, my weight goes up without logging and following my daily calorie allotment. I am confident that if I up the amount of my 'wishing', it still wouldn't get me back the way I was.

I'm just so sick about thinking about food...

justanotherloser007 wrote: »

[quote="Brennen11;c-46736180"How sick of thinking about food you can get.

So I would like a litte more explanation here, are you into weight loss for a year now fantasizing about food and you are sick of it? Or, are you like, "Can't believe I think I want to eat that, yuck!"[/quote]

Looking back that statement was sort of confusing without more detail . Amazingly, NO I don't fantasize about food and NO I haven't ever thought "I can't believe I think I want to eat that or that I felt like I was forcing myself to eat things I didn't like. My "thinking about food" is probably mostly self-inflicted because I am always trying to find to recipes or change-ups to add to my menus to keep things interesting and to keep finding new yummy nutritious things to eat. I am also a very dedicated My fitness pal food tracker and food measurer so that is primarily where my constant thoughts about food fit in. The funny thing is as much as I dislike how much I think about food, it is also one of the best things I do. Admittedly there are times when I just don't want to think about what I should eat, or don't want to plan another week of meals or think ahead about my food choices to leave room for a special night out or celebration. However, in the end I'm sooooo glad I did. I hope that helps....

By far, the hardest thing about losing weight for me has been: losing my whole closet of clothes. I was the same size for at least 20 years. I can sew, and I kept a few things (I laugh at past me who thought she would keep the whole closet and just resize everything, she was so very naïve).

I eventually just resized some of my skirts, and bought the cheapest tees I could find to go with some new skirts from the thrift store. MY CONFIDENCE HAS NEVER RECOVERED. I have no idea what size I will be stopping at. I have never lost weight before. I am glad to be in maintenance at goal weight for a little while because the emotional blow back has been shocking. I went maintenance at goal weight for the whole month of January, and then when I got back to it, I lost weight really fast. Like I did when I started. I lost another size. It is just getting up my nose at this point.

I guess, I never realized how attached I was to my wardrobe. I think that is the take-away here. It took me a long time to find those clothes, and I wore most of them out to threads - I was not able to re-thrift many of them. I have some in the garage right now, because I really, really like the colors, the style, the flowers, etc. But in reality, unless I want to spend more time resizing them to still be too big in a month *grinds teeth*... I mean, it just isn't happening.

the numbers on the sale jumping back and forth each day dive me crazy less jumping on the scale and looking at health and wellness and the gains I am making also are important to me are what I need to do to stay focused.

Can we talk about Phantom Fat, PLEASE. I've been on this journey for just over a year now and this is one subject I bring up a lot. I've lost over 100 pounds and have been experiencing this more intensely as I continue to lose weight and put on muscle. I still have all the mental habits as a severe overweight individual. From shopping for 3XL shirts when I can fit comfortably into a Medium. Being self conscious about having my photo taken and how I hold my body so that way I can look as thin as possible. Sitting on the damn floor at gatherings so I won't take up too much room on the couch.. the list goes on. My mind has yet to catch up with my new body and I still see my body most days like it's morbidly obese. I advise everyone who is looking to lose a significant amount of weight to reach out to professionals and have counseling. Let's bring more awareness to BDDs AFTER weight loss.

Nobody tells you that you will look older and have more wrinkles. The skin takes time to rejuvenate itself to the new YOU size. The inner side of my elbows looks like they belong to a 20 year older person.

No one tells you about the struggle between pride and embarrassment in telling others how much weight you've lost. You know you should not have weighed that much, to begin with. You have to build yourself up to be proud and not ashamed.

JustJ2014 wrote: »

No one tells you about the struggle between pride and embarrassment in telling others how much weight you've lost.

I totally relate to this statement. Whenever people say something kind at about my weight loss (which is happening frequently since I have lost nearly 100 pounds in the past 16 months), there are times I barely say more than a quiet "thank you" and try not to talk about it any further. I think the shame in allowing myself to get so dangerously unhealthy makes it hard to talk about the remarkable strides I've taken to improve my health and life. It's a big reason MFP is so important to me - it gives me a place to talk about some of the feelings I need to work through as part of the process.

I am trying to be a little more vocal when asked about my weight loss because I am proud of what I have accomplished and I'm trying to stop kicking myself on those days when I feel ashamed of my starting point. I don't know if it will ever become easy, but I need to spend more time looking through the windshield instead of the rear-view mirror.

Ghostofachance wrote: »

JustJ2014 wrote: »

No one tells you about the struggle between pride and embarrassment in telling others how much weight you've lost.

I totally relate to this statement. Whenever people say something kind at about my weight loss (which is happening frequently since I have lost nearly 100 pounds in the past 16 months), there are times I barely say more than a quiet "thank you" and try not to talk about it any further.

This is me too! Whew, it is nice to hear others talk about it. Thanks to all of you (and thank you @coblujay for the thread up, and also the idea of justanotherloser007 2.0, I will think about what that means to me and try to adjust my thinking).

You know how when you lose weight, you have to play some mental games to get you there? Maybe your game has to be just as mentally tight for the new you. (which might include mind games or new thinking that appears completely unrelated to weight loss). Like, every time someone says I look younger now that I am thin @JustJ2014 - right! I am like, obviously you see that I am a much more wrinkly person now? But maybe it does seem that way to them? Somehow we look younger, even though we are (to us) not so full and plush in our skin.

Do you ever wonder how many people who have lost weight and then: 1) fully panicked about clothes 2) fully panicked about skin sag 3) fully panicked about body dysmorphia ... then said, NOPE and gained it all back because that appeared safer? And it all happened in the back of their mind? Like they weren't even aware of the stress of being a new person was driving some of the behaviors. The real rage quit of weight loss has some to do with eating, but maybe more to do with - some very basic ideas in your personal identity *this will mess up your mind as we have seen in this thread*.

Some days, I just want to stop losing weight and stay right here because of all these random ancillary issues. But because I have come this far, slayed the beasts, made plans for maintenance, actually hacked my brain and lifestyle choices to make it so easy for me to stay at maintenance at goal weight.... It is just a whisper, but I think the temptation is there. If I didn't make all these plans, and deal with the thoughts and done some reflection... I would definitely consider it easier to just gain the weight back and be like I always was. But I just made that so much harder for myself with math, and dealing with emotions. Poor me, I appear to be on the train ride and can't get off. Which is fine, it is what I planned for, but still ya'll probably know exactly what I mean.

47Jacqueline wrote: »

- Having the saleswoman look at you and say, Ok, you wear a "small" right?

I'm nowhere near there yet but I had lost a lot of weight before an accident, disrupting any sort of exercise for a long time. I never got the be the "small" stage yet, but I was thrilled to look at my t-shirts and see a MED for the first time in 15 years or so.

This time, I am going for that small !!

Things that seem to help me with Body Dysmorphia believe it or not is a photo. Just had my daughter in law (while visiting for the first time my new grand daughter, who is 8 months) take our picture at a Botanical Garden. I was amazed when she sent it to me. I said out loud, "Oh! Look how thin I am?" She laughed out loud. I think for me, now and with my previous large loss, photos or videos seem to hit my brain better than me looking in the mirror at myself. Especially since I am fully clothed. You can't see all the flabby skin and rolls! The imperfections, that I still have, I can't see or focus on.

That it's easier to bend over when you lose weight in your midsection. Because I had both my knees replaced I can't kneel when I garden. I have a bench that I sit on when I'm weeding and planting. Last spring it was extremely difficult to bend down and I would get really winded. This spring, after losing 31 lbs, I have very little discomfort when I'm working in the garden.

GinLee61 wrote: »

I feel cold quite often now vs pre-weight loss. After losing the first 25 lbs the difference is kind of shocking to me. Before I was almost always too hot. Even in the dead of winter. Makes me wonder how it's going to be after I lose another 60 lbs.

On the upside, I'm hoping this means that I'll be able to tolerate the summer heat a little easier this year.

I have the same thing but I notice that it's much worse when I'm in a calorie deficit. It's partly from losing insulation, yes, but a huge part is having less fuel to burn. If I have a few extra calories I warm right up, so you may be just fine after you hit maintenance.

When I see myself in a full length mirror, after losing 30 pounds in the past year and reaching a healthy weight in the middle of normal BMI, I can't believe my new figure.

And when I look at my really old photos, where I was even slimmer than I am now, I remember that I used to be so self-conscious and feel fat! I wasn't. I was slim but overly critical. Wow, Younger Me sure did a number on myself.