WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR SEPTEMBER 2022

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  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    edited September 2022
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    Barbie— Thank you for September. I appreciate the gift of each new month. I am grateful for the wonderful women here. <3

    Katla
  • fanncy0626
    fanncy0626 Posts: 7,152 Member
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    💞 Barbie thanks for taking such good care of us 💞I was going through my storage containers and memorabilia that I have saved over the years and I found the letters that you sent to me when I was taking a break from here due to my chronic Lyme's and I am so grateful for your kindness to me and all of the ladies on here 💞 you are amazing 💞

    💞 Mary from Arizona/ Minnesota

  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,332 Member
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    Thank you, Barbie. <3 Your constant presence is our lodestar.

    Karen - Is your brother up to approaching a greetings card company? Or even producing his own and marketing them? Even in a small way? My feeling is, he is not up to that and I would not want you to take on another burden. They are perfect for that market and I would buy them if I saw them in the card rack at my local shop! :D

    At last, a day to myself. I have a newspaper article to finish. :o

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
  • wizzywig
    wizzywig Posts: 1,246 Member
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    Thanks Barbie for the new month. I've finally caught up with August, now on to September :)

    I've booked a hair appointment for Saturday, I'm hoping the weather will be fine as there are some gardens near the hairdresser that has a kiosk that sells beverages and home made cakes. I've asked mum if she would like to go for a coffee. She's not been in the best of health the last few months so it will do her good to get out of the house.

    Tracey I love the dragon, I prefer them with a bit of colour.

    Better move, I haven't done my exercises yet, I've been getting fit with Rick :D

    Love to all
    Viv <3
  • KetoneKaren
    KetoneKaren Posts: 6,411 Member
    edited September 2022
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    Tracey, My son did watch/help when his in-laws downsized, so he has an inkling of what is involved. But you're right, he probably won't ever know what I spared him from, if I do this right. It's a natural consequence of me taking responsibility for the disposition of my/our belongings and getting my affairs in order.

    Heather,. My brother Gary did have some notecards made many years ago; he had worked for an advertising agency for many years so had knowledge about magazines, brochures, business cards, etc. They were lovely. I'll mention it to him. There is a small business here called Gracie's Cottage that carries an eclectic mix of vintage items, cottage chic, local art, etc. I'm sure he could market them there. I don't know if he'd be up for anything else now, but it's an idea for the future. I hope once we get him into his own apartment, he will have time to heal from the last 7 years of being in group homes. I feel so bad for him. I have to be careful not to spook him. Baby steps.

    Rebecca, First, I want to echo what the others have said about being privileged to see that darling Athena grow up. She is a delightful child and I look forward to the photos and updates.
    Second, my heart is with you as you support your sister get through the loss of her husband. It sounds as if his celebration of life is going to be amazing. It's so heartwarming to hear of the enthusiastic RSVP response - it speaks volumes about him.

    Kim, I am very interested in a group discussion about generation skipping, and anything else you would be willing to share about estate planning. I need to get that all done, update wills, etc., and it intimidates me a bit. It seems to me that many attorneys aren't adept at explanations that a person can understand (and retain). I figure if a professional really understands something, he/she should be able to customize the explanation for a specific client.

    Kelly, I know you are so busy! I'm looking forward to seeing photo updates of your precious grandchildren.

    ___

    Today, my housekeeper and I are going to tackle the storage unit. I hope we can get it empty. If not, my granddaughter has offered to help me over Labor Day weekend.

    ___

    Karen in Virginia
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,140 Member
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    From a couple years ago ... might be appropriate for several of us ...
    Make things easier on yourselves by ...

    -- making sure all affairs are in order. 2 names on all accounts, enduring power of attorney, bills, wills, taxes, paperwork, whatever it takes. Make sure you both know everything about your accounts, bills, etc. etc. etc. of all sorts. Make sure everything is up to date and crystal clear. It's easy to say, "I'll remember my password" or "We'll sort that out later" ...
    http://ssandifer.com/MyLoveList2015.pdf... all about organising estates, etc. ... very good information although you will have to check what's what in your particular area.

    Also, from a USA perspective:https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/getting-your-affairs-order

    And from an Australian perspective:https://www.agedcare101.com.au/aged-care/get-set/“putting-your-affairs-order” and https://www.moneysmart.gov.au/life-events-and-you/life-events/money-musts-before-you-die and https://yourlifeassist.com.au/information-assistance/put-your-affairs-in-order/


    -- making sure you're fit and healthy. Being fit and healthy improves the odds. Also could you actually support and lower your partner to the ground, should he/she collapse? Do you know first aid?


    -- making sure your house well set up. Are there stairs? Tight corners? Difficult showers?


    -- having a look at options around you. What would you do for groceries? What if you couldn't drive? If you have never used public transportation, try it now while you're still able. What about things like doctor's offices? Hospitals? All the stuff you use? Is it scattered around and difficult to get to or quite convenient?


    --making sure you've got resources. Do you have people who can offer assistance? Knowledge of who to call if you've got problems with the house? Do you know about services in your area which can help?


    -- creating an Emergency Management Plan for fires, floods, and health issues.
    https://www.redcross.org.au/prepare


    -- starting to downsize. Distribute the family treasures (unless you're using them, of course). Scan then shred paperwork. Reduce things you don't really need. If you were to make the move into a smaller apartment in a senior's complex, would it be a huge undertaking or would it be a fairly smooth transition.
    https://dallas.momcollective.com/most-of-your-stuff-is-worthless-3-things-you-should-be-doing-now-to-reduce-what-you-own

    Machka in Oz
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
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    <3
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,140 Member
    edited September 2022
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    OregonMother wrote: »
    Machka9 wrote: »
    Snowflake1968 wrote: »
    My Brother had to take my Mom’s car away from her when she first started showing signs of Alzheimer’s. It started out that she was driving to town 8-10 times a day and couldn’t afford it. At one point she called me because her car wouldn’t start and my brother (a mechanic) was too busy to look at it. When I called him to ask about it he told me she had ran it out of gas and luckily it was in the driveway. He did put gas in it, but she was soon getting lost and not knowing her way home. It was 7 miles outside of town through 4 miles of woods. He unhooked a wire so that she thought the car wasn’t working again. He sold it shortly after that. She was upset, and I think the loneliness exacerbated the Alzheimer’s, but it was for her safety.

    Tracey in Edmonton

    My grandfather also developed dementia, starting in his 70s if I recall correctly.

    I remember that one of his early symptoms was repeating himself frequently, and it seems that is quite common in people with dementia.
    https://www.scie.org.uk/dementia/living-with-dementia/difficult-situations/repetition.asp

    But at some point along the way, he had to give up driving too. I don't remember how easy/difficult the process of giving up driving was for him, but I do remember that my grandmother had to learn to drive in her 60s!!!

    My husband can no longer drive either but, as I mentioned, he gets around on foot or by bus which is good. And I try to take him places most weekends. I know that being social is important for him so despite the fact that I'd rather stay in bed most weekends and not go anywhere or deal with anything, we do get out and about.

    I had to relearn to drive.

    Katla, I've been glad to see that your daughter is taking you out now and then. Hopefully when your husband gets a bit better he might be able to go out for walks with you or to help you with other transportation as Kim mentions below ...
    GodMomKim wrote: »
    Katla – my heart goes out to you. Please work with your daughter or staff at the assisted living community to find/learn about the other transportation options in the area you are. Maybe the assisted living community has a shuttle bus that can take you to the store, hairdresser etc… or you could learn how to use the Lyft or Uber app on your phone. I am guessing that the issue for you is less the physical car, but more the freedom to go when and where you want. And other transportation might help.

    Machka in Oz

    Yes. I believe repeating things, as if it is new information is a warning sign. At least, for me, after two or three times, never mind dozens of times, I figure something has gone wrong. And I am heartbroken.

    We were lucky, I guess, that with all of my mom's mobility issues, completely bedridden now, can't even sit in a wheelchair, her mind is sharp. She realized on her own a few years ago that she was not safe to drive. My niece sold my mom's car a few months ago because my mom was tired of paying for insurance on it.

    I think it's harder for people with dementia because apparently they can't see what is happening, or don't remember why things are happening. I assume that was the case with my coworker's dad who, upon finding his car missing, had a rental brought to him.

    As a family member, trying to negotiate dementia must be so difficult, because you end up being the villain by just trying to enforce safety measures.

    Flea
    Willamette Valley OR


    Same with brain injury ... the brain doesn't know that it doesn't know. It's known as "lack of insight" or "anosognosia".

    https://www.health.qld.gov.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0037/388576/insight_aware_fsw.pdf
    https://www.headway.org.uk/media/4091/lack-of-insight-after-brain-injury-factsheet.pdf

    https://www.dementiacarers.ca/when-the-person-with-dementia-doesnt-know-they-have-limitations-anosognosia/
    https://www.agingcare.com/articles/anosognosia-dementia-patients-cant-recognize-impairment-210090.htm


    For example, my husband ...
    ... can list all the physical aspects of his brain injury but is mostly unaware of his cognitive issues.

    Interestingly, I know his physical and cognitive issues and how to compensate ... so the results of his assessments can come as a little bit of a surprise to me too.


    Machka in Oz

  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,140 Member
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    Snowflake1968 wrote: »
    Had ceramics tonight, I am making this for Jonah for his birthday. I had decided to paint one for him a few months ago. When he went to ceramics camp and saw them on the shelf he asked his Mother if she thought I would do one for him.
    The blue metallic paint is sapphire. Appropriate for our birthstone.
    y0ez1ceweyj8.jpeg

    Tracey in Edmonton

    Gorgeous!!
    Love that colour!


    M in Oz

  • ginnytez
    ginnytez Posts: 1,352 Member
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    Good morning all. Thanks for the fresh start Barbie. Have been reading along, catching up, not taking a lot of notes but enjoying the conversations.

    The talk of purging and organizing is very motivating to me. I have been using a start/stop method for it and need to get into more consistent gear. This week, while it may not sound like much, I got motivated to put two smaller trashcans of boards taken down with removal of things in basement. They have just been sitting there since last December when brother, SIL and I worked on ceilings. I don't have anyone to haul the stuff away, but I can put it out for trash weekly-so I am getting it done. This weekend I plan to cut some of the bigger pieces down to size. I need to be careful not to overload things.

    Work continues. Having some frustrations with personnel. Keep checking to make sure it is not just me fed up with working (some days maybe!), but I think it is more that a couple of folks are just plain lacking common sense and don't take responsibility. Working on the best way to tune them up.

    Have decided to move forward with surgery for prolapse issue. Physical Therapy has been very helpful (wish they had this 20 years ago so more of the issue could have been prevented) but it will not completely resolve issues. Doctor says with my activity level, it is a good idea. If I want to sit around for the rest of my life I could tolerate the issue-but that is not for me! Probably won't be on schedule for a month or so, but that's ok. Will get my brother situated and can get house ready for my limited mobility for a few weeks.

    Heather-the cruise sounds delightful!

    Off to get ready for work. Full day today-half day tomorrow and long weekend!

    Take care all,

    Ginny in Ohio
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,140 Member
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    x55lq59wbycp.png

    Except that we're having a final blast of winter ...


    Machka in Oz
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
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    <3
  • LisaInArkansas
    LisaInArkansas Posts: 2,508 Member
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    Thank you, Barbie!
    <3
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,332 Member
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    Finished my article for the Guardian. I know it won't get published, but I had to have a try. I may be able to place a modified version somewhere else, perhaps the local paper.
    Just got to titivate it and write a covering email.
    Relieved and happy to have got it done. Grandkids tomorrow, so I had a bit of a deadline.

    Love Heather UK xxxxxx
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 16,679 Member
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    41
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,140 Member
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    If you're interested ...


    Self Care September
    Self-care isn't selfish, it's essential.
    https://actionforhappiness.org/calendar

    Calendar in Spoiler ...

    30hjurtztpdw.png


    Machka in Oz

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