WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MARCH 2023
Replies
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KetoneKaren wrote: »Rebecca,
I’ve been thinking a lot about your response to the Navy support group and your self-scolding over it.
Here’s what I think:
If there was a support group for people with painful hangnails, and I joined it after cutting the tip of my finger off, it wouldn’t take long for me to grow impatient with it. It doesn’t mean a hangnail can’t make a person miserable, and it doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t have empathy for the people with painful hangnails.
It does mean, however, that the discussion in the support group is going to be about painful hangnails and the misery they cause, rather than the excruciating throbbing agony of having cut the tip of one’s finger off.
I perfectly understand why you’ve grown impatient with the support group and want to scream I HAVEN’T SEEN OR HEARD FROM MY SON IN 20 MONTHS!
It’s not your fault, and it’s not their fault. But they can’t be supportive of you if they don’t know or don’t keep in mind that your injury is in a different category altogether. Your injury doesn’t make their misery any less legitimate or miserable. The depths of your despair, however, would be appropriate in a grief group, or an estrangement group, neither of which would be a place for hangnail sufferers.
We love you, and you know you can scream and vent here all you need to. We have your back, dear friend.
Having said that, maybe there is a Navy group better suited for the level of your grief.
Karen in Virginia
I understand what you mean.💖 It puts things in a perspective I haven't realized. I was talking with my eldest sister about the grief I am feeling, as her and grief are best buds. She said we are both dealing with loss, and she attends grief support meetings. I was surprised she put my grief on the same shelf as hers as she has had her husband pass. I just haven't heard from my sailor son. It made me feel validated a bit, and thanked her for understanding so.
I have been attending the gym mornings with husband, and yesterday cleaned remodeled bathroom from top to bottom. Then vacuumed our bedroom, cleaned our master bathroom, floor, walking shower. This morning I slept in!
This is the bathroom before when we moved in:
This is it now with new tile, tub and toilet. The guy repainted as well. Other than cranking down the drain on the side so we can't "flip it" so more water can be put in the tub, he get amazing. He also installed the curtain rod really low, so our plastic curtain is too long. I could trim it, but then there would be no little magnet pockets. So just selling that and buying a new one.
Yesterday made potatoes, onions, cabbage and sausage simmered in a nice chicken stock with turmeric and lots of pepper. Comfort food.
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa
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Happy birthday to the march peeps including my sister and one of my brothers7
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March, 2023 Action for happiness.org
Word of the year: Appreciate : today I appreciate midnight loving.Exercise goals added
Yoga 10 mins 3 times a week 3/15-(100%,100%)
Walk 7,000 every day 4/31– (84%,86%,)
Arm weights twice a week 3/10 (100%, 60%hurt my elbow,)
Meditation: daily. 4/31 (82%(started Feb))
1. cut back drinking and limit to 2 days a week. 4/8–(100%,100%)
2. Average 7,000 steps a week. 9484, (7,700,100%-9851,100%)
3. Update budget every 2 weeks 1/2 —(100%,100%)
4. Contact close family every week (4x) 6/15 —(100%,100%)
5. Contact Donat and sibs once a month (8x)24/64–(100%,100%)
6. Weigh less last day of month compared to first until I reach 140. Start at 178.6,176,174.2—(100%,100%)
7. Develop a journaling practice by aiming to journal at least 5 days a week. 4/20– -(100%,88%)
8. Read 12 books at least this year. 8/12 (100%,100%)
9. Pay off credit card debt by January 2024 by making monthly payments to NDR——3/12—(100%.100%,100%)
10. Continue building emergency fund at SLFCU (min$25 a month)$25+$25+$71(100%,100%,100)
Decided that if I do more than stated I will not grade higher than 100% 2/5/23
January Met —100%
February met —-90%
March met met
April met
May met
June met
July met — met
August met
September met
October met —
November met—
December met—1. Set an intention to live with awareness and kindness. I intend to live with more awareness and kindness every day.7. Take three calm breaths at regular intervals during your day. Sounds like a plan.
2. Notice three things you find beautiful in the outside world. The blue water of Lea Lake, Snow on the mountains at a distance, walking a nature trail. All at Bottomless Lakes State Park.
3. Start today by appreciating your body and that you are alive. I am healthy and above ground. I can walk,talk,hear, see, taste, and smell (mostly). I appreciate that I alive and have a healthy body.
4. Notice how you speak to yourself and choose to use kind words. I will try…
5. Bring to mind people you care about and send love to them. I sent texts to my long distance friends to send them love.
6. Have a ‘no plans’ day and notice how that feels. Most days are like that for me. So much less stress!
8. Eat mindfully. Appreciate the taste, texture and smell of your food. Started at breakfast.9. Take a full breath in and out before you reply to others.
10. Get outside and notice how the weather feels on your face.
11. Stay fully present while drinking your cup of tea or coffee.
12. Listen deeply to someone and really hear what they are saying.
13. Pause to watch the sky or clouds for a few minutes today.
14. Find ways to enjoy any chores or tasks that you do.
15. Stop. Breathe. Notice. Repeat regularly.
16. Get really absorbed with an interesting or creative activity.
17. Look around and spot three thing you find unusual or pleasant.
18. If you find yourself rushing, make an effort to slow down.
19. Appreciate nature around you wherever you are.
20. Focus on what makes you and others happy today.
21. Listen to a piece of music without doing anything else.
22. Notice something that is going well, even if today feels difficult.
23. Tune into your feelings, without judging or trying to change them.
24. Appreciate your hands and all the things they enable you to do.
25. Focus your attention on the good things you take for granted.
26. Choose too spend less times looking at screens today.
27. Cultivate a feeling of loving-kindness towards others today.
28. Notice when you are tired and take a break as soon as possible.
29. Choose a different route today and see what you notice.
30. Mentally scan your body and notice what you are feeling.
31. Discover the joy in the simple things of life.Barbie's Happiness Commandments
Be Barbie
Lighten up
Do it now
Dance more
Choose strategy over willpower
Cultivate an attitude of gratitude
Come from a place of love
Stay in the moment
Act the way you want to feel
Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good
Don't expect praise or recognition
It is what it is
Don't take things personally
Treat yourself like a toddler
What's fun for other people may not be fun for you, and vice versa
You can choose what you do, but you can't choose what you like
Be kind, no exceptions
Ask always, how could my life be better with less?2 -
Happy Birthday March peeps!👍🏻🎂💖🤗
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Happy Birthday Debbie :flowerforyou:
Happy Birthday M :flowerforyou:2 -
Wicket Is 10.5 years old and doing very well. She went for her yearly shots and 3 yr. Rabies booster. She has arthritis in her back and right foot, which we treat with Cosoquine (sp?) and works well. The vet tried to sell me his brand but I tried those and she wouldn’t eat it. At checkout, I was prepared for $200 bill with the med refills (she has allergies and must take Apoquel ($80 for 2 months) but the bill was over $300!I was upset needless to say. After having the entire office in to investigate, they found they had doubled the meds and charged me for 2 sets. After they eliminated that, it was what I had planned for. What a morning! But, I did not get mad, just politely asked for them to investigate because that was way too much for her checkup! They obliged and we got it fixed. YAY!! My working on happiness and mental stability is starting to pay off in small ways!
The rest of the day went well. Got home, did reservations tags, went for a walk, had lunch, did yoga and hand weights, then relaxed rest of the day, doing computer work to get a refund on a bite guard that didn’t fit and other ‘stuff’. Then played on my iPad and read the rest of the evening. (Of course, a little housework and dishes included in this day.)
RVRita8 -
Happy birthday to my fellow March Peeps! We must have someone every day this month! LOL.
RVRita9 -
I am journaling in these 3 books daily (almost). My psych really enjoyed them, so I thought I would share here. Two are prompted writing, the one with my DH and me is free-style. Sorry about the size. Missed the option to change size.l. RVRita
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Snowflake1968 wrote: »
I think my daughter summed it up well when we were home when my FIL passed. She said, “Mom, it just feels like the whole world should be as shocked and upset as we are. It makes it hard to comprehend that their lives are just going along like it’s a Monday and we are heartbroken and our whole world changed”.
Tracey in Edmonton
This is perfect!!!
It has been so hard on me since my dad passed away and dh has shown no real feelings or compassion.
He has shown more when the different cats have died, including a feral one that had just shown up.
I told him how hurt I was but he just shrugged it off.
It really has made the divide between him and I even bigger(along with a lot of other things)
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dlfk202000 wrote: »I had a great walk around the wetlands. Nice to get out and walk after so many days of rain.
Got my 5 miles in. Tomorrow I will see if it is sunny or rain- 50/50 chance if you listen to Alexa.
I have zumba tomorrow night so if I don't walk, it will be ok. Yep, going to class on my birthday. Dh and I will go out to lunch on Thursday instead beings we are both off. Not sure where yet.
Going to head for bed a little early. Want to get extra sleep so I can keep up at class.
Debbie
Napa Valley, Ca
Exercising on our birthday is a great way to celebrate it.
Happy Birthday from one birthday girl to another.
Machka in Oz
Thanks! Happy birthday to you too.
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Machka and Debbie,
Happy Birthday!!! 2 -
Just popping in to catch up before heading to the grocery store.
I liked my new mattress a little better last night.
I have killed a few peace lillies in my time. It k8nd of hurt my feelings that my mother did not offer me any of the flowers sent to Daddy’s service. On the other hand, she does know my lack of a green thumb.
Later, y’all.
K
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margaretturk wrote: »I do like having plants because our winters are so long here it is nice to have green. Yesterday I also bought a bouquet of daisies for $5.99 and split it into three bouquets to spread about the house. Between having both plants and the flowers it really helps me through the winter. I have a number of plants at son's house too! I bring in some of my annuals too that will give me some blooms over the winter. Geraniums and Lantania are two of them.
Yes plants and pets are work, but they also give back. They also do not argue and appreciate whatever care you give them. With DrewB I have met so many nice people on my walks who I would have not met otherwise. I sleep better with her at my side too.
I love plants and flowers in the house but until this past year, I had a cat that would eat every plant /flower(live or plastic) so couldn't have them. With 7 cats still in the house, a bit leary about having them in case they go for them too.
I really want to pick up the daffodil that are on sale this week at Safeway- two bunches for $5.2 -
Thank you all so much for all the birthday wishes.
I will walk a little at the wetlands before picking Ezie up and school and I have Zumba tonight so get to do what I enjoy on my day.
We will go out to lunch tomorrow- dh and I are both off plus his package that was supposed to be delivered tomorrow and signed for(a 3D printed thing that he made for a guy and the guy broke it so needs it repaired along with some other model he wants dh to repaint)is coming today.
Got to text with my BFF this morning- She has been my best friend since I was in 4th grade and she was in 2nd grade.
Mom just called me.
So far, a good day. Only thing I wanted to do was sleep in a little more but that is ok. Had an asthma attack early this morning but was able to get back to sleep for another hour before dh came home from work at 8AM
Thanks again ladies
Debbie
Napa Valley,Ca
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8. Eat mindfully. Appreciate the taste, texture and smell of your food. And think about what I really want ;}
Karen thanks for the pbutter chicken recipe!
Machka how long ago was that cardiologist dismissal? Could it be time for a second opinion?
Welcome @rberr71 Rebecca! Would you let us know your general locale so we can distinguish you from Rebecca on Whidbey Island?
Rosemarie sounds like you are taking the best steps you can at this time. Sharing here gives me a sense of accomplishment, hope it does the same for you.
Welcome home Betsy!
Allie the “do not pet..’ meme made me snort my water. Thanks! Now that Miles has mastered the witch doctor song, is he ready for the one eyed one armed flying purple people eater?
Welcome @laurieangel64 Laurie! Read your 59 newbie post. Congratulations on your new determination. Many wise, caring women here can empathize with one or more of your issues. When my bad/sad thoughts overwhelm me it helps me to get up and dance a few steps, even if it is only for a minute or two. It really helps.
Margaret yours to Allie and especially Rosemarie. I’m learning the greatest gift I can give the grieving is to listen without speaking/thinking/trying to distract. Just be with the person.
Carol JC Penney’s St. John’s Bay Petite 16 jeans fit my apple shaped 4’10” body just right. Yours to Allie too!
Welcome @Joy1580vb from Canada! Would you let us know what you’d like to be called?
Only through pg 24 but time to get ready for line dance class.03/07: Move: 2 sets PT with dumbbells, Jeopardy walking active mins: steps:Lighter, lovelies!
Fuel: plants running count for week so far far: 10+5+6+4+5+4+4 =38 apple, artichoke, beans-garbanzo, cabbage, carrots, cauliflower, celeriac, celery, cherries-dried, cranberries, edamame, ginger, Kashi, kohlrabi, macadamia nuts, mint jelly, mushrooms, olive oil, onions-red/soup, parsnips, peanut butter, pecans, pepperoncini, peppers-sweet, pomelo, popcorn, potato, radish, rice-white, romaine, scallions, snap peas, tangerines, tea-black, tea-lemongrass/wintergreen, tofu, walnuts, wheat-pasta/English Muffin/ginger snaps/brownie/pancake/matzoh/sourdough. CI<CO=672
Live: Joe, readings, BP, 45+ mins grooming Tumble, Wt: 136.9
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
2023: Be of good cheer. March: Move more, fuel better, live NOW.
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Kylia--Not surprised with all the stess you have at work. Hopefully this will get DH and SIL to step up at work. Please take care of you.
Rosemarie--Sounds like your B&B is just what you need. Please feel free to vent here anytime. We are here for you. HUG!!
Machka--Scary that your doctor will not check your heart out just for your own piece of mind and as a baseline if something comes up later.Can you make your own appointment with a cardica doctor?
Allie--Do not let them push you into doing something you do not want to do. You still need your time to go and do things important to you. As you say with some many deaths you need to take care of you and go on trips when you can. As tracy works partime she can do this school thing, at his age I would think an hour or two a day is enough. Just a thought, but so much attention is on Miles, what about Carmine? Could he be feeling like he doesn't matter. Maybe they could get him to help with teaching Miles or just give him some attention.
Kim--Sorry you are going though all this with your mom and now your sister. Know we are here for you. HUGS and PRAYERS.
Tracey--Your daughter said it right. When our son passed away I could not believe the rest of the world kept going on like nothing happened.
Rita--Like the journal books. Looks like you have a lot covered in them.
Blessings, Vicki GRAND ISLAND, NE Where we are to get rain, snow and sleet the next couple days.
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Happy birthday Debbie and Machka! Hope you both have a wonderful day.
I have indoor and outdoor plants. The cats leave them alone except for the spider plant. I hung that planter from the ceiling so they can't reach it. The lucky bamboo is on a high shelf or I think they would eat it too. They don't seem to care for the Christmas cactus, pepperomia or shamrocks. The outdoor plants are in pots around the gazebo and consist mostly of plants that repel mosquitoes.
Kim - words fail me. Sending strength and peace.
Everyone take care, Sue in WA3 -
Oh, Kim. I'm so sorry.
Regarding the heat at Allie's daughter's place. It's off during the day because her son in law isn't home. He was fussing about the cost, so I suspect he decided he wasn't going to pay for it unless he was using it. He strikes me as that kind of person.
Happy birthday to the birthday people.
I had more to comment on but my brain is a sieve.
Flea8 -
Happy birthday to Debbie and Machka ... Hope you celebrate yourselves as you deserve!
Heather, really loving the flowers and the sense of movement in your swing dancers...
They're gutting the house next door (not the one we hope to buy, but a small stone house). The residents moved to the larger town before Christmas and it's just been sitting empty. With five children, two quite large Dobermans, a Corgi, a demonspawn of a Chihuahua, and even a monkey, it was a major relief for mine and Corey's noise tolerance when they moved. We couldn't walk on the western side of our house without the dogs losing their minds. The gut job in progress, even with compressors and power tools and hammers all day long, isn't one-tenth of the previous noise levels.
Not sure why the gut job - I never actually walked in the house in the couple of years they lived here. But the massive pile of used lumber they've thrown into the front yard implies that they're taking everything out. Really hoping they're not remodeling to move back in! It is just a two-bedroom house, and they would have to build a massive addition to actually accommodate them comfortably. Ah well, not something I can change, just being nosy. They felt us out about buying it when they were moving, but wanted far too much for it. I hope any future residents are less noisy, but can't change what happens with that, either.
As for house plants, my ex used to say he felt like an accessory to murder if he brought me a houseplant. True enough. I like planting flowers outside, but the whole houseplant thing doesn't do much for me. Corey's nursed one along for the last five years, and I have no idea what it is or why we have it.
Today is a better day than yesterday, and I appreciate that. One last load of laundry to fold and I'm done with chores. Chilly, gray day, perfect for the chili con carne Corey wants to make this evening, and wonderful for curling up with a good book.
Later, y'all,
Love,
Lisa in AR
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Afternoon ladies
Not much to add,except bless his heart Miles was giving me kisses with a stuffy nose here is hoping I don't catch anything lol
He is the most sweet and loving little guy..
Carmine on the other hand,is hormonal and miserable and failing school... but is going to therapy every other week..
They have a PPT meeting online tomorrow I think Tracy said.. both her and Kyle have tried to sit with him to help with schoolwork.. but he just wont do it... he has stayed after a few times to get extra help.but other than doing the work for him Tracy is at a loss.
Im still trying to figure out what to pack ,,but i am going to vaccum seal it in my suitcase..and bring the little vacuum sealer with me.4 -
Thank you all for your kind comments.
I had a lovely time at the B&B and very nice breakfast with a friend. I then visited two cemeteries and came home at 1 pm exhausted and emotionally spent. I did nap for a while. I don't think I can clean the house before going North. I think I need to conserve my energy. The house is a real downer. I hope I can get it to a place where I enjoy living in it.
I've cleaned the house for decades. My husband never did much cleaning or sorting. I have a rough draft of a eulogy but not a final draft. I need to work on this. I think next week will be better, once I have traveled up North and the service is over. It was to be a small service..30 people...but now I understand it is up to 50 people. Still small but not as intimate as I was expecting. 3 high school friends will come have dinner with me Saturday evening. My mother and brother and sister in law will come for b11 -
Rosemarie- safe travels to Boston.. here is hoping you Uber where you need to go,because they drive like wackos up there..
Scares the bejesus out of me..
Will be thinking of you..my best friend is flying up fro. North Carolina tomorrow for Doreens wake on friday.. and then Saturday I have a retirement party at night to go to.. I am going to try this weekend..to get everything packed and set for the trip.. as I'll be busy with Miles through Wednesday and I fly out Thursday morning God willing.3 -
Allie have a smooth trip!
Rosemarie (((hugs)))
I ate 1003 calories today and have a deficit of 292 so far. Yay!
I haven't done my aerobic walking yet. I did an hour of yoga again. Maybe that's why my upper back is a bit sore - lots of planks. But my knee is holding tough, so that's good.
I made a meatloaf for my parents. I can do it without a recipe now, at least if no one is talking to me.
Have a great evening my friends!
Annie in Delaware
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Stat for the day-
Walk w/family- 2hrs 7min 34sec, 147elev, 2.58ap, 88ahr, 115mhr, 2.58ap, 6.17mi= 818c
Strava app= 756c2 -
Today was Uber busy. Groceries and prep for an art display at the end of the month.
I had a great ‘ no plan’ day yesterday. It’s surprising how much you can get done when you have never plans. 😝
Intentions for March:🔹Maintain weight < 140 (I have managed to stay at the lower end off the 140s)
🔹Continue with Solid Habit development
Intentions for today✔️
I’m bushed so will catch up tomorrow.
Pg 24
Virtual (((hugs))) and 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 for all those those who need them.
🙋♀️ Miele failte to the newbies.
☘️ Terri
March Action for Happiness:1. Set an intention to live with awareness and kindness. I intend to live with awareness and kindness8. Eat mindfully. Appreciate the taste, texture and email of your food. ✔️
2. Notice three things you find beautiful in the outside world.Trees silhouetted against the sky; the appearance of snowdrops in spring; the sound of waves breaking on the shore.
3. Start today by appreciating your body and that you are alive. I meditate on this each morning when I wake up, and am grateful for each new opportunity to have a good day.
4. Notice how you speak to yourself and choose to use kind words. Positive affirmations are very powerful. Be kind to yourself, always.
5. Bring to mind people you care about and send love to them. We chatted with our girls about other family members, and raised a glass to them.
6. Have a ‘no plans’ day and notice how that feels. I will do this tomorrow (7th)
7. Take three calm breaths at regular intervals during your day.Resisting the temptation to plan my day. Serendipity reigns today.9. Take a full breath in and out before you reply to others.
10. Get outside and notice how the weather feels on your face.
11. Stay fully present while drinking your cup of tea or coffee.
12. Listen deeply to someone and really hear what they are saying.
13. Pause to watch the sky or clouds for a few minutes today.
14. Find ways to enjoy any chores or tasks that you do.
15. Stop. Breathe. Notice. Repeat regularly.
16. Get really absorbed with an interesting or creative activity.
17. Look around and spot three thing you find unusual or pleasant.
18. If you find yourself rushing, make an effort to slow down.
19. Appreciate nature around you wherever you are.
20. Focus on what makes you and others happy today.
21. Listen to a piece of music without doing anything else.
22. Notice something that is going well, even if today feels difficult.
23. Tune into your feelings, without judging or trying to change them.
24. Appreciate your hands and all the things they enable you to do.
25. Focus your attention on the good things you take for granted.
26. Choose too spend less times looking at screens today.
27. Cultivate a feeling of loving-kindness towards others today.
28. Notice when you are tired and take a break as soon as possible.
29. Choose a different route today and see what you notice.
30. Mentally scan your body and notice what you are feeling.
31. Discover the joy in the simple things of life.2 -
Happy Birthday to Debbie & Machka!
🌸 🌺. 🌸1 -
Grandmallie: I hope you are able to spend some time with your friend from North Carolina.
I am back to talking with more people than I have in years. I will have to toughen up! Some of the things they say are remarkable! My Friend from high school called from San Francisco. I had to call her back because I had was making a run to McDonald's to have something for dinner at the Inn. She said your eating McDonalds..that's bad...that's because your in the South. People in California eat healthier. How rude...8 days a widow and she is chiding me because I got McDonalds. And she hates to work out and I do work out. And give me a break...people in California go to McDonalds.
We had a nice conversation otherwise. But pretty rude about the McDonalds thing...8 days a widow!9 -
Rosemarie- California gal here and yes we go to mcdonalds, some of us more than others, but even your opinionated friend from SF probably goes (but will not admit it) to Mcdonalds... and honestly it is a rude comment - period - your widow-hood means it hurt more, but it was just as rude no matter what.
Sometimes when there is a change in our lives we look out at the world differently and find it is time to make some changes. I have had to re-evaluate friends and what circle of friendship that they fit into, an inner circle or on an outside ring....
Your other friend who was rude/hurtful, I wondered if your recent widowhood brought up memories for her and made her sad and she lashed out from her own hurt. Again not ok, but maybe something to re-visit in time. On your schedule!
just my 2 cents...
Kim in N. California7 -
Rosemarie, some people ya just sorta have to let it slide..but yes thats rude..I have a SIL like that.
Just found out another friend passed away jees o pete what is it something in the water here or what?
Luann had a stroke about a month ago and had been hospitalized since then,so I guess it was a blessing but still sad ,and I don't think she was even 60 yet.7 -
Grandmallie: Sorry about the passing of Luann. She was young and this is sad.
Grandmallie and Kim: Thank you for validating that I am not going crazy about what is rude. I hope to volunteer at a dog shelter and maybe meet some nice people through this activity. Right now I get very tired and have to take frequent naps.8
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