OT: Falling For A Boy Makes You Crazzzy!

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  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
    I didn't say ALL 19 year olds act this way. I just said that, since she's 19, I'm not surprised. Some are really mature, but most aren't. By the time I was 18 I was living on my own and I've been working since I was 14. I'm 22 now and, while I still have a lot to learn, I consider myself more responsible than most of my peers because I don't make rash decisions and I stay focused on my educational and career goals and values.

    I should also add that I stated she'd act this way until she fully realized the magnitude of her responsibilities. That can happen at any age. It just usually happens later, but in cases of young motherhood or absolute independence from the parents it can happen earlier.
  • KatWood
    KatWood Posts: 1,135 Member
    All I want to say is that youth is no excuse, especially when there are children involved.

    You and your family will be in my thoughts. I hope you find your way soon before it is too late.
  • magichatter06
    magichatter06 Posts: 3,593 Member
    I think you look great, you've lost a ton of weight and you're a very pretty girl. But you're letting it go to your head and you're forgetting about your priorities.

    Don't get me wrong, I know what it's like, I was ALWAYS fat. Now when I walk down the street, I feel the eyes on me and it feels NICE. But I have my priorities and I will never forget them.

    You are young and you are allowed to make mistakes but please try to stop making such big ones. Your husband, now matter how much he loves your guts (:laugh: ) will eventually give up on you. ANd guess what? Only one of those kids is yours whether you've been mommy from the start or not. If this marriage ends badly, you have no rights over the other 2 kids, whom you seem to love very much. I think that would be really sad. for you, but also for them. Don't do that to them. If your marriage is over, let it be over, in a civil way. In a mature way. If not then stop with the nonsense and be a wife and a mommy. You can still have fun (OF COURSE!) enjoy yourself once in awhile, but do it responsible.

    Agreed:smile:
  • mrsyac2
    mrsyac2 Posts: 2,784 Member
    This is exactly why I don't think people should get married at a young age let alone have kids- Because alot more is going to change from 19-25 and more--

    I can see your viewpoint, although I must respectfully disagree - not everyone that gets married under 25 looks at it so flippantly. Myself and the friends I have that are around my age and married take our commitment very seriously, and I know I speak for them, too, when I say we would sacrifice anything for our families. Not everyone my age is too immature for marriage, although I agree that there are people who definitely are. It bothers me, too, to see people that blatantly disregard the sanctity of marriage and look at it as 'playing house', a game to end whenever you want, and to be picked up again whenever you feel like it.

    My $.02.

    :flowerforyou:

    I understand your point- i should have added in my comment that I was married before I was 20 and have been married for 7 years and still going- I also have kids as well--
  • mrsyac2
    mrsyac2 Posts: 2,784 Member
    You are 19, therefore I expect nothing else. You're still a child and will act like one until you fully realize your responsibilities and how influential your actions are.

    Now I must disagree-- Some now I say that lightly young mothers step up to the plate and mature faster due to responsibilities-

    But yes she is young- and hopefully will become a grown up before it is too late- considering she has children looking up to her.

    She also doesnt need to do the whole getting seperated not getting seperated thing because marriage isn't highschool also it isn't healthy for the kids to see that it is very confusing and kids are alot smarter than they think--


    This is exactly why I don't think people should get married at a young age let alone have kids- Because alot more is going to change from 19-25 and more--

    America's divorce rate is so damn high because people forget about the commitment of marriage and see divorce as an easy out--

    I would like to say please don't judge all young mom's by this standard I had my son a month after my 17th birthday and have dedicated my life to raising him alone.I don't party,I don't drink I am mom he is 13 now and I have to say I'm proud of him and the job I've done

    If I judged all young mom's I would be judging myself as well- I am 25 with a soon to be 8 year old daughter-

    Also let me point out that I said "SOME" I didn't say all

    I also was married at a young age and still am married to the same man- it hasn't been easy but life and marriage aren't easy and you work through the problems and issues- When your married young you must grow together.
  • yellow_pepper
    yellow_pepper Posts: 708 Member
    There is a BIG difference between being a 19- or 17-year old mother and being a 19-year-old mother whose "friends" are in and out of jail, and who earns a living taking off her clothes, like Marisa Tomei in "The Wrestler," which by the way, was darn good movie. Mickey Rourke should have won the Oscar.

    BeGorgeous could learn something from watching that movie about what happens to single-mother go-go dancers when they get older. Life suddenly isn't so glamorous... Though even in that movie, the character played by Marisa Tomei seemed to offer a more stable life for her child.
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
    There is a BIG difference between being a 19- or 17-year old mother and being a 19-year-old mother whose "friends" are in and out of jail, and who earns a living taking off her clothes, like Marisa Tomei in "The Wrestler," which by the way, was darn good movie. Mickey Rourke should have won the Oscar.

    BeGorgeous could learn something from watching that movie about what happens to single-mother go-go dancers when they get older. Life suddenly isn't so glamorous... Though even in that movie, the character played by Marisa Tomei seemed to offer a more stable life for her child.

    Marisa is hot
    fantastic movie
    Mickey should have won
    When 19 noone could tell me anything....sometimes only life can teach the young
  • mrsyac2
    mrsyac2 Posts: 2,784 Member

    When 19 noone could tell me anything....sometimes only life can teach the young





    That is true too-- Hell Im 25 soon to be 26 and people still can't tell me nothing lol just ask my husband hahahahaha :laugh: :laugh:
  • chrissyh
    chrissyh Posts: 8,235 Member
    All I can say is...you are married and you are a mom - all your decisions in your life need to be thought of as a family decision-what's best for my family-whether you are 18 or 48 whether you are skinny or fat. Your Jobs, friends, where you go, etc....are they what's best for your family?

    I don't think the age matters here - I was married at 18 - still married 19 years next month
  • havingitall
    havingitall Posts: 3,728 Member
    When I was 19 I didn't have a clue. My kids are almost 19 and almost 17 and the thought of them being somebody's parent now terrifies me.
  • CassieNic
    CassieNic Posts: 223

    She is ridiculous and people in my age group who think that way are embarrassing to me.

    Preach on, sista!!
    *high fives*
    Am also 22, btw.. lol.. 86 is a fine vintage!
    :wink:

    Im 22 as well, married with 2 children. when i became pregnant the first time, i was in no way ready. But put on my big girl panties and got my act together. People my age that run around like this embarrass me too. If I can grow up...why cant they? I read her profile and saw nothing said about her children until the very end. Maybe its just me, but I gush about my kids, no thats not all I am...but they are a big part of me.

    and 4 or 5 guys in a few weeks. cmon, now, thats not respecting yourself. marriage isnt a game you only play when its fun.
  • smalltownsquarepeg
    smalltownsquarepeg Posts: 24 Member
    Ok, so I have NOT always been fat. In fact, I was quite the hottie back in the day...and believe me it's ROUGH on the ol' self esteem when you don't get that shallow type of attention anymore. Her newfound confidence is going to turn around and bite her if she puts too much stock into it. Until you're healthy and beautiful on the inside and surround yourself with people who see you that way, you're not in a place I would call 'good'. It took me until thirty to figure some of things out...this could be a long road for her and her family. :brokenheart:

    If you can step back from this 'scene' and say "this person would've loved my company when I was 80 lbs heavier" they might be worth inviting into your life, now...otherwise I'd say sayonara to the rappers, homies and drama queens.
  • mrsyac2
    mrsyac2 Posts: 2,784 Member
    Ok, so I have NOT always been fat. In fact, I was quite the hottie back in the day...and believe me it's ROUGH on the ol' self esteem when you don't get that shallow type of attention anymore. Her newfound confidence is going to turn around and bite her if she puts too much stock into it. Until you're healthy and beautiful on the inside and surround yourself with people who see you that way, you're not in a place I would call 'good'. It took me until thirty to figure some of things out...this could be a long road for her and her family. :brokenheart:

    If you can step back from this 'scene' and say "this person would've loved my company when I was 80 lbs heavier" they might be worth inviting into your life, now...otherwise I'd say sayonara to the rappers, homies and drama queens.

    Good advice-
  • Manda86
    Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member
    But put on my big girl panties and got my act together.

    I love this! :laugh: :laugh:

    And I completely agree with the rest of your post, too :happy:
  • MissGorgeous
    MissGorgeous Posts: 394 Member
    actually...i made the desison not to hang out with any of thoes people anymore
    removed them from my myspace page and am done with that crowd
    its not good for me...im not going to sing for their CD and am pretty much done with chillin with them


    as far as dancing goes...i love to dance...i did ballet jazz tap and hip hop for 12years
    and go go dancing isnt taking off your clothes
    at least not where i dance at its not

    you wear shorts and a belt with lots of glitter and bling and a tight low cut tank top
    and boots and just dance around and have fun...no getting undressed or looking like a HOOKER
    i would wear that same outfit in the summertime to the beach or the park...minus the gltter and bling belt of course

    i talked to my husband untill like 7this morning then the kids woke up
    for ju jit su and dance class and pianno lessions today...:indifferent:

    but we talked about what kind of path i was heading down
    the kind of things i want for myself and my family
    and he made me realize that 6months ago
    i was best friends with his sisters and sister in laws
    and we did BUNCO and POKER nights and i was really active in the 3 mommys clubs we are in
    he said i should get back to being active in the mommy groups
    and start hanging out with my sister in laws again

    so we pretty much decided im going to be a server at his bar and grill
    3-4 shifts a week and ill keep doing all the payroll and schedualing
    and i will go ahead and dance 1 night a week IF i have the time
    but we decided we are gonna start doing our weekend trips again now that its gonna warm up

    we have season passes to disneyland and seaworld and the wild animal park
    so in the summer months we go weekly...to at least 2 of thoes places
    so we are just gunna keep ourselfs busy with kids and working and family fun
    when we did that...i was more focused...but i think having so much free time and less family time was just a bad combo for me
  • keiko
    keiko Posts: 2,919 Member
    I'm glad to hear that you are going to make some positive changes in your life. It will not only be better for your kids. But in the long run for you too. Like you said the road you were heading down did not sound like a good road to be on.

    I hope you and your husband have alot of wonderful years together making beautiful memories together.
  • chrissyh
    chrissyh Posts: 8,235 Member
    sounds like you're heading in in a positive direction - good luck!
  • Marla64
    Marla64 Posts: 23,120 Member
    Well, that was sure a quick turnaround. Amazing grace, eh?

    This couldn't have all been started just for the attention could it?

    Nahh...cynical me. What was I thinking? :noway: :indifferent: :huh:

    Pardon me while I vomit-- :sick:

    Back to the real world I go-- toodles.:yawn:
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
    Well, that was sure a quick turnaround. Amazing grace, eh?

    This couldn't have all been started just for the attention could it?

    Nahh...cynical me. What was I thinking? :noway: :indifferent: :huh:

    Pardon me while I vomit-- :sick:

    Back to the real world I go-- toodles.:yawn:

    if I were to post anything close to this you would crucify me. How are double standards ever fair?
    just a question
    thanks
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    Well, that was sure a quick turnaround. Amazing grace, eh?

    This couldn't have all been started just for the attention could it?

    Nahh...cynical me. What was I thinking? :noway: :indifferent: :huh:

    Pardon me while I vomit-- :sick:

    Back to the real world I go-- toodles.:yawn:

    if I were to post anything close to this you would crucify me. How are double standards ever fair?
    just a question
    thanks

    '"you might as well laugh"
  • Marla64
    Marla64 Posts: 23,120 Member
    Well, that was sure a quick turnaround. Amazing grace, eh?

    This couldn't have all been started just for the attention could it?

    Nahh...cynical me. What was I thinking? :noway: :indifferent: :huh:

    Pardon me while I vomit-- :sick:

    Back to the real world I go-- toodles.:yawn:

    if I were to post anything close to this you would crucify me. How are double standards ever fair?
    just a question
    thanks

    Dave-- I can't recall ever even addressing you in a thread, or having much interaction in posts with you-- how do you know what I'd say to you? I do believe I'm intensely fair. If you have proof otherwise, heck, I'm all ears.
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  • chrissyh
    chrissyh Posts: 8,235 Member
    I have to say - I opened this back up just to see what Max had to say....
  • TudorRose
    TudorRose Posts: 238 Member
    I have to say - I opened this back up just to see what Max had to say....

    Ditto. Who needs soap operas? :tongue: Seriously though guys, please chill out.
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    I have to say - I opened this back up just to see what Max had to say....

    Kinda anti-climatic, wasn't it? :laugh:
  • Marla64
    Marla64 Posts: 23,120 Member
    I have to say - I opened this back up just to see what Max had to say....

    Kinda anti-climatic, wasn't it? :laugh:

    :laugh:
  • chrissyh
    chrissyh Posts: 8,235 Member
    And now we all just laugh......:laugh:
  • Unknown
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  • Marla64
    Marla64 Posts: 23,120 Member
    I have to say - I opened this back up just to see what Max had to say....

    I am a man of wisdom, you're darn tootin!

    When E.F. Maximus talks, people listen.
    notlisteningsmiley.gif
  • chrissyh
    chrissyh Posts: 8,235 Member
    How do you fit all that wisdom in the van?
This discussion has been closed.

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