What nobody tells you about losing weight
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@springlering62 ...IKR!! I'm still mourning a few of my favorite pieces and keep hoping I'll find a way to make them work.3
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That you will run out of clothes that fit, and How hard it is to buy clothes that fit. Maybe it’s just me, but I’m having a very difficult time finding clothes to buy that I like. I’m older, short and still fat, but I’ve lost 45 lbs. My shape is so very weird , that nothing fits right. I realize that now, my body shape is in the process of change, and looks a little different every couple of lbs. that I lose.
Ok, that’s the annoying part.
Here’s the good part- I’m a lot healthier according to my doctor, taking less medications, and have way more energy than before. I’ve joined humanity, and am living life.14 -
How important progress photos are and not just ones with you in a group. I’ve been taking a daily progress photo in the same pose since May. 40 lbs down and it’s mind blowing17
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RunningGirlKC wrote: »How important progress photos are and not just ones with you in a group. I’ve been taking a daily progress photo in the same pose since May. 40 lbs down and it’s mind blowing
I never cared til now, 3+ years into maintenance, that I never took measurements.
I now sincerely wish I had. I’m going through a period where I can’t button a lot of my pants, yet my trainer constantly asks if I’ve lost more weight. It feels like my thighs and butt are thinner, and my ribs have come in to “ normal” person status instead of splayed out, and it’s all conspiring to push everything between ribs and thighs into my abdomen.
My weight is still well within maintenance range, maybe a wee bit on the topside, so higher than I’m comfortable with, and I’ve been unusually sore and bloated the past three or four weeks. So much so I went to one doc and am seeing another next week, but honestly, I know it’s all in my head.
If I had taken measurements I could say “yep” for sure. But I didn’t. 🤦🏻♀️. Kicking myself.
Mucho regrets.10 -
[quote="springlering62: I’m going through a period where I can’t button a lot of my pants, yet my trainer constantly asks if I’ve lost more weight. It feels like my thighs and butt are thinner, and my ribs have come in to “ normal” person status instead of splayed out, and it’s all conspiring to push everything between ribs and thighs into my abdomen. [/quote]
I didn't know ribs did that! Does that happen if a person gains a lot of visceral fat? I carried weight all over but now most of what is left is in the abdominal area. Very little anywhere else. Unusual for a female but there it is. I never noticed my ribs being spread out more but maybe that's because the fat was more external?4 -
I didn't realize how much of this journey would be about identity and not weight. That is, I started out with an understanding of who I was that went along with the weight I was and what my body could do at that time.
That identity included a lot of unconscious fears and limitations. Lots of "I could never do X" type of beliefs. Fear of injury. Fear of failure. Fear of looking foolish. Believing I was just "getting old" and that it was normal to be less capable. It was normal to feel like crap in the morning and have to cling to the banister going down stairs. It was normal to avoid getting on the floor because it was hard to get up. My whole like was made up of little habits to accommodate my weight, most of which I wasn't consciously aware of. And my relationships were also calibrated around me being that size.
So, as I begin to lose consistently, part of me was honestly triggered and anxious by the change. Happy, yes, but deep down SCARED because it meant becoming someone new that I didn't know how to be. Some things were fun NSV things, but some of the changes felt threatening because they challenged my status quo.
Yes, it was fun being able to feel good in the morning, but it wasn't fun when I had to confront my fear of losing all my friends if I became thin. It was hard to push myself in the gym when my brain was screaming that I might get hurt because "someone like me" couldn't do stuff like that. Challenging the "someone like me" stuff and birthing the New Me was a process, and it was hard sometimes. I literally had to shed my old identity for a new one, and I still bump up against that occasionally even 2+ yrs into maintenance.
But, it's worth it. Worth facing the fears, even the silly ones. Worth challenging the limiting beliefs. Worth hammering out the New Me because dealing with THAT part of it is what will make this a long term change. If I keep my old identity, I believe I would gain the weight back because my mine/body would unconsciously seek to match that old identity. It would feel uncomfortable being smaller and seek to "fix it."
I honestly believe that's one reason a lot of people gain their weight back. Because they are still the fat person on inside, and losing weight hasn't changed that. Unfortunately there is no magic wand to change your identity. It's a process of its own that is separate from the scale/food part. For me, it took lots of self-awareness, prayer, journaling, and reading other people's posts. These days I truly don't feel like the same person anymore, and that's precious. Every day New Me feels more natural and innate. It takes time, but THAT is the part of weight loss that nobody told me about. It's also the process that has impacted me the most.29 -
Sand_TIger wrote: »"springlering62 wrote:I’m going through a period where I can’t button a lot of my pants, yet my trainer constantly asks if I’ve lost more weight. It feels like my thighs and butt are thinner, and my ribs have come in to “ normal” person status instead of splayed out, and it’s all conspiring to push everything between ribs and thighs into my abdomen.
I didn't know ribs did that! Does that happen if a person gains a lot of visceral fat? I carried weight all over but now most of what is left is in the abdominal area. Very little anywhere else. Unusual for a female but there it is. I never noticed my ribs being spread out more but maybe that's because the fat was more external?
My ribs didn’t start going vertical til last year. Before that, they stuck out at a 45 degree angle. I would hazard a guess that with the extra gut and weight, they were literally forced outwards over the years.
Fat hydraulics. 😬
I assume your skeleton size stays static when yoi reach adulthood, even as you add weight. Your body has to accomodate it somehow.
If you overstuff your pie, its gonna push that crust up and out, right?
Same with your pie-hole. 😂
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BrightEyedAgain wrote: »
(snip)
That identity included a lot of unconscious fears and limitations. Lots of "I could never do X" type of beliefs. Fear of injury. Fear of failure. Fear of looking foolish. Believing I was just "getting old" and that it was normal to be less capable. It was normal to feel like crap in the morning and have to cling to the banister going down stairs. It was normal to avoid getting on the floor because it was hard to get up. My whole like was made up of little habits to accommodate my weight, most of which I wasn't consciously aware of. And my relationships were also calibrated around me being that size.
(snip)
That whole post was astoundingly good, insightful. This piece, though - it resonates especially hard.
Wow.
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@brighteyedagain Please excuse me while I’m over here crying. 💜5
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springlering62 wrote: »How cold your hands get at below 60
That you have to dry your belly button out after a shower
I'm at work sneaking on here for inspiration! Love this post! LMAO!!! I'm in a quiet office and just lol. Let them wonder...4 -
How, at the age of 73, climbing stairs seems to get easier and easier with each pound lost.15
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springlering62 wrote: »BrightEyedAgain wrote: »…. I wear more delicate jewelry because the chunky style overwhelms my frame now that the fat isn't there.
💡💡💡
OMG. I just realized why my huge collection of elaborate costume jewelry is going unused. You’re right!!!!!!
But it’s all so shiny!!!! 🥹😭
I can so relate...also some of my bags are way too big for my frame. Had to sell some really expensive bags - the jewelry too.6 -
The people who try to talk you out of sticking to the plan have one or two problems. The first and most likely is that you are making them feel guilty or are showing them up and they don't want that. It is a personal problem with them and not you. The second is this. We live in a country where 66% of people are over weight. No one is shocked, but they should be. the reality is that obese people are the norm and when someone begins to go the other direction they stick out. We are like fish swimming upstream. You will be persecuted for getting healthy and that tells you how bad things are in this country when it comes to health and it also tells you why you must stick to your plan!12
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Morgan_1893 wrote: »When you've donated almost all of your clothes and you're wearing the smallest size you kept stored away for years in the closet but you know next month those will be too big very soon so everything ordered needs to be at least a size smaller than what you're wearing now. Your old skinny jeans are thing of the past because you're 4 to 5 sizes smaller and you need new jeans in a single digit size you've never worn before as an adult. You've pulled out all the jewelry, fancy shoes and boots, tiny jackets, and purses but also shopped for new stuff because you're dressing this new person with updated preferences. It's like meeting yourself for the first time and finding out you like different perfume, styles of jewelry and clothing, and absolutely refuse to wear anything baggy anymore. It's surreal.
@Morgan_1893 I absolutely loved the line "It's like meeting yourself for the first time" - this is so true!!!6 -
The people who try to talk you out of sticking to the plan have one or two problems. The first and most likely is that you are making them feel guilty or are showing them up and they don't want that. It is a personal problem with them and not you. The second is this. We live in a country where 66% of people are over weight. No one is shocked, but they should be. the reality is that obese people are the norm and when someone begins to go the other direction they stick out. We are like fish swimming upstream. You will be persecuted for getting healthy and that tells you how bad things are in this country when it comes to health and it also tells you why you must stick to your plan!
This is smart perspective. I’ve found the “making them feel guilty” part to be the feeling I’ve gotten. By doing NOTHING except living your own life and bettering yourself. No words or actions against them.4 -
The people who try to talk you out of sticking to the plan have one or two problems. The first and most likely is that you are making them feel guilty or are showing them up and they don't want that. It is a personal problem with them and not you. The second is this. We live in a country where 66% of people are over weight. No one is shocked, but they should be. the reality is that obese people are the norm and when someone begins to go the other direction they stick out. We are like fish swimming upstream. You will be persecuted for getting healthy and that tells you how bad things are in this country when it comes to health and it also tells you why you must stick to your plan!
I'm sure some others' experience differs, but my experience has been that people were weird about my weight loss at first, then lost interest over time.
When I first got even near goal weight, comments started. Well, some started (about the change in my eating habits) even earlier.
Nearing goal weight, even when technically still overweight (by BMI) I started getting "too thin", "skin and bones", "skinny", "stop losing", etc. One usually sensible friend even worried that I was developing anorexia (while I was eating 2000+ calories most days and losing super slowly by then).
Honestly, I think some of it was just shock. It's unusual in my circle for anyone to lose a meaningful total amount of weight, let alone do it pretty consistently over many months. Sure, it happens when people have some dire illness, but not often in a healthy person.
Friends were all used to looking at fat me (for decades). During loss, it's normal to have a bit of slack skin, can look a bit haggard to people - that just makes concerns worse. (That slackness/haggardness will all straighten itself out in the early months of maintenance, IME, no worries.)
I'm in year 7 of maintaining now. The same people have zero to say about either my eating habits or body appearance. They're used to it, it's boring, not notable; they've lost interest because it isn't news. To some extent, from a few of them (and much more of new people I meet), I get "you don't have to worry, you can eat anything you want", "naturally thin", etc. New people often literally refuse to believe I spent 30 years in adulthood overweight/obese (if it comes up in conversation - I don't advertise it, because it is boring
).
Years on, I asked the friend who worried that I had anorexic behavior why she reacted that way. She said she thought it was probably a mix of shock and envy.
As I said, different people have different experiences. To the bolded: For me, people were worried, critical, skeptical at first - sure. But I never felt that I was being persecuted for aiming to improve my health (or for succeeding in various ways).
I admit, when I truly set my mind on something, I can be pretty focused on achieving it, more likely to see critics as annoying gnats I should brush away and ignore, not as persecutors. Maybe they were trying to be persecutors and I missed it.
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The people who try to talk you out of sticking to the plan have one or two problems. The first and most likely is that you are making them feel guilty or are showing them up and they don't want that. It is a personal problem with them and not you. The second is this. We live in a country where 66% of people are over weight. No one is shocked, but they should be. the reality is that obese people are the norm and when someone begins to go the other direction they stick out. We are like fish swimming upstream. You will be persecuted for getting healthy and that tells you how bad things are in this country when it comes to health and it also tells you why you must stick to your plan!
When I first got even near goal weight, comments started. Well, some started (about the change in my eating habits) even earlier.
Nearing goal weight, even when technically still overweight (by BMI) I started getting "too thin", "skin and bones", "skinny", "stop losing", etc. One usually sensible friend even worried that I was developing anorexia (while I was eating 2000+ calories most days and losing super slowly by then).
I also had some friends that thought maybe I had an ED when I got close to goal weight and then actually kept paying attention to what I was eating. After a while, they realized that I was just making sure I didn't go back to the way I started. I also think that my face looked a little gaunt for a short time. It's funny how that happens, and then it fixes itself.
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I've been fighting with weight issues since I was 18 and I am now 68. I can't tell you how many times I have lost the same 35-40 pounds! 183-143! In early October of 2023, I was diagnosed with type 2 Diabetes (T2D). I was is shock. I was angry, sad, self loathing set in. I knew I had been pre diabetic for close to 10 years, but I never took it seriously or did anything about it. NOW I AM DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT. It's weird getting that diagnosis; that "medical Felony" on my record. This time my motivation is different. I'm steel focused! Over 9-10 weeks I've lost 12-13 pounds. (had lost 12 in 2021 and kept it off). I am so determined this time. I am a very social person and have attended several and hosted one holiday party. I gained a pound, but I am not flipping out. I felt good getting back on my routine today. My goal for 2024 is to lose 20 more pounds and keep it off throughout the year. I've never gotten to maintenance, so this will be a new experience. Thanks for listening.16
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Faith20000 wrote: »How cold you get when your in a pool, less fat to insulate!
Your clothes are way to big, so just keep the sewing machine out!
The disappointment from your grand children when they find out you fixed deviled eggs not cookies!
But then when you get your Dr. Report and your A1c is 5.2! No meds. Blessings
I am inspired by you!! I will have my A1c tested in January for the first time since being diagnosed with T2D. First reading in October was 6.8. I will post in january!!7
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