What age is appropriate for you kid to start dating?

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Replies

  • BlessedandBeautifulBrown
    BlessedandBeautifulBrown Posts: 464 Member
    13 group date.. 16 single date
  • _Ben
    _Ben Posts: 1,608 Member
    As I said, kids shouldnt be alone until you know the other kid for a while. In the end you can never fully protect them, but being smart is always the best option. Talk to them, make sure they are aware of the consiquences of their actions, and not just sex alone. Make sure for at least the first while, they are either suppervised, or if they are going to a destination, you give them a time frame to return. Also, they gotta date someone their age. No 16 yearold girl should EVER be dating a college guy. Why? The same reason he isnt dating girls his own age. Hes a creeper and trying to take advantage of a younger girl
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    Also, I think more importantly than stressing a specific age it's important to talk about it with your kids, try to impart on them to be careful, to have self respect, to understand that sex and relationships are about love and not about power or blame or guilt. Try to teach them to have healthy relationships. Why? Because you can set whatever age you want, but you don't know what's going on when you're not around, and you have to trust them to treat themselves with respect in relationships (part of that being sex).
  • luv_lea
    luv_lea Posts: 1,094 Member
    Let's see, he's 2 now, so I'm thinking 25 . . .

    haha ^^this! my daughter is 2 now, so not until she's 25 or 30!

    but in all honesty, probably in high school. at first, supervised dates (like watching a movie with me there to pop my head in) but then at 17ish, alone with the guy. But ONLY with guys I have met several times and approve of! And I'm not sure if I agree with driving together (I remember what happens with 2 teenagers alone in a car!) and I'm still iffy on going to movies alone (same idea as the car!) I'm 110% for group dating! :laugh:

    I agree with this. I guess everyone could have a different definition of 'dating' but Yes, supervised is a big key to it all until a certain point, and also how responsible/trust worthy the child is.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    repeat post
  • bzmom
    bzmom Posts: 1,332 Member
    I have two boys 14 and soon to be 11 next month and a 2year old daughter. My eldest had a little "girlfriend" already during the summer just before turning 14. He was allowed to go out to see her for 2hrs. Before anyone frowns uppon this let me say I was 16 when I got pregnant I truly believe that communication is the key when talking to your teens. My parents never talked to me about anything and I am being as open to communication as I can be with my kids. Needless to say that little "relationship" didnt last too long about 2 weeks LOL!!! My 11 year old says he has a girl friend but he never goes out anywhere so I think its just a school crush and well my 2 year old well I think she is too fisty at two cant imagine her at 16 LOL! besides with 2 older brothers and an over protective dad I think she is introuble.
  • kmtetour
    kmtetour Posts: 300 Member
    BTW, at 27, having been married and divorced, I think my dad would still prefer I didn't date! He still sees me as his little girl. I live on my own, but I bet he'd be all "I want to meet this guy" in a gruff manner if I had a new boyfriend.
  • iamlegion714
    iamlegion714 Posts: 50 Member
    Define dating first.

    Middle School age kids go to movies etc. as a group many times.... they probably consider that a date. Mom and Dad driving their child to meet someone at a school dance is probably considered a date to many. I also think it depends on the child, their maturity level, the age difference between the two wanting to date, is the boy driving the girl and are they alone etc. etc. etc.

    yup
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
    I have a 5 year-old son and a 15 year old daughter...
    For him...when I feel he has enough respect...so I'll put it out there around 14.
    For her....when chastity belt rusts off.
  • skittybang
    skittybang Posts: 1,525 Member
    Same age you tell a highway it was adopted (cr ZG)
  • iamlegion714
    iamlegion714 Posts: 50 Member
    Wow, every poster said it. Wow. I just cant understand people

    Really dude? Loosen up. Joke a little. Do you need a hug?

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • courtney_dawn
    courtney_dawn Posts: 1
    I think 15 or 16 is good. If a 13 or 14 year old wants to call someone their boyfriend/girlfriend and hang out occasionally, that's cool. But 15/16 is about right. That way they can drive, or if they are 15, more than likely the other is older and can. Big thing is that at 15, if you are going on a date, you do not want your parents to have to drive you. So for serious dating, 16.

    (I am 18 and been dating my fiance since I was 16. But I was going out with older guys who could drive at 14 or 15. Just personal experience. I'm not a parent, so I'm sure most wouldn't want their little ones out running around.)
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member

    For her....when chastity belt rusts off.

    :laugh:

    You're a good daddy! :drinker:
  • foremant86
    foremant86 Posts: 1,115 Member
    As a 20 year old, really dating in my opinion, as a guy, shouldnt happen until 16, when you can drive yourself places. Anything before is just childish crushes, saying you are boyfriend and girlfriend, when you have only maybe held hands, never talk to eachother, whatever. Everything before, getting drove by your parents, etc is not only akward for the kids, but really akward for the parents too.

    Note: This is coming from a serious place, not the whole irritating and annoying, my daughter is never gonna date because she is not allowed to have a life, or live in any fashion like a normal human being. I feel as though as soon as this reply posts there will be 5 people who said exactly that, but Im just saying, these people are being simply rediculous, and are not working to actually help the poster, they just think that joking about overparenting is cute.

    I agree with this. 16 is a perfectly good age to start dating.
  • criselia95
    criselia95 Posts: 18 Member
    I have a daughter; shes 16 going to be 17 years old soon. Shes never had a boyfriend eventhough I gave her permission to start dating a little before her 16th birthday. She is very mature and takes her schooling seriously. Besides school work, she has a bunch of activities.

    I think every child is different. If they want to start dating and thats all they think about, then they are probably not ready. When Ive asked her when is she finally going to give boys a chance to get to know her, she replies, she is very busy and wouldnt have time for a relationship. I just hope she doesnt turn into a 40 year old virgin.

    Great topic.
  • Charice
    Charice Posts: 188 Member
    I have set the rule of no dating until my kids are 16. I will allow for group activities (school dances, parties, etc.) at 14, but I have to know where they are going and who they wil be with. I think by allowing for group activities it hasn't really affected my kids socially to wait until 16 for real dating. In addition, I insist on a group or double date for big dances such as Prom. My kids know about the rule from infancy so I haven't had any issues of complaining about it. It's just the way it is and they know it. I think it also depends on the kid...I have a son that didn't date until he was almost 18, he just wasn't interested or ready. Whatever you choose...good luck! It is a scary time for a parent.
  • SailingMike
    SailingMike Posts: 237 Member
    ... because, lets be honest, she'll probably do it behind our backs if we put an age restriction on her ...

    WOW... if you start with that attitude you have already lost! Did my kids do things behind my back? Maybe, but that never stopped me from setting REASONABLE rules and enforcing them. We are parents and need to act like parents. NEVER be afraid of setting limits.

    On the other hand, a wise man and successful father told me, "Never say "NO" to your kids unless you have a good reason." And folks, sometimes just having a bad "feeling" about it IS a good reason.

    One more bit from me, a father of 7.... I always allowed my children the option of buying out of trouble. If they were grounded for bad grade, all they needed was a note from the teacher saying the grade was improved and the punishment ended. Other things required special extra service (work) around the home or in the community to buy a pass.
  • morganhccstudent724
    morganhccstudent724 Posts: 1,261 Member
    I don't have children.

    I had a boyfriend at 14. We were kissing/above the belt at 15.

    Sex at 16.

    It depends on the child.
  • baisleac
    baisleac Posts: 2,019 Member
    ... because, lets be honest, she'll probably do it behind our backs if we put an age restriction on her ...

    WOW... if you start with that attitude you have already lost!

    My parents had that same attitude and it worked really really well.

    Trust is a two way street. If the parents teach the child right and trust them, the child is more likely to trust the parents' advice. IMO, of course.
  • sarah_ep
    sarah_ep Posts: 580 Member
    I haven't read the other responses, but I will tell you what I think based on my experiences. I was not allowed to date until after I was out of high school. At this point, I was already about move out of the house and start my own life. I had no experience or guidance when did this happen because I was not allowed to date under supervision. I made a lot of mistakes and had to learn a lot of things the hard way. My other friends who were not allowed to date just did so behind their parents back - this was usually much worse than if the parents had been involved.

    Therefore, I believe that you should make that decision when your child tells you they want to date someone, and then set up appropriate boundaries.
  • lolainlondon
    lolainlondon Posts: 160 Member
    Anything before is just childish crushes, saying you are boyfriend and girlfriend, when you have only maybe held hands, never talk to eachother, whatever.

    Seriously, where do you live, the fifties? I'm thirty now, and there are a number of people I went to school with who have teenage children by now. They were most definitely not just holding hands and sending Valentines at 15...
  • lovejoydavid
    lovejoydavid Posts: 395 Member
    I am the father of 7. 5 in college, 1 high school and one graduated. All have done well and are well behaved people.

    The quick answer is 16. If there was some fancy dance a month or so before their 15th birthday, I would make an exception, but not for anything else. AND at 16 its double or group date ONLY.

    At 18... single dating still discouraged, but not forbidden, and no I don't care that they are adults then I am the Dad and I have the wallet '-)

    Good grief! Five in college and you still have something in the wallet? Must be bright kids!
  • SabrinaJL
    SabrinaJL Posts: 1,579 Member
    When Ive asked her when is she finally going to give boys a chance to get to know her, she replies, she is very busy and wouldnt have time for a relationship. I just hope she doesnt turn into a 40 year old virgin.

    lol The other day my sister asked if K (my girl) is ever going to date. I said, "I'm pretty sure K is going to end up as a virgin spinster with 30 cats."
  • SailingMike
    SailingMike Posts: 237 Member
    My 16 year old son had his first date last weekend. It was his homecoming dance. The girl he took was nice enough...but her mother kept calling me in the days/week prior to the dance with tidbits like..."your son isn't talking to my daughter"....."he doesn't send her long text...just one word responses"....what's a mom supposed to do with that information? I apololgized to her if her daughter had higher expectations, but that's just my son....he's got alot to learn....and nerves to get over...but he's only 16.....I think we have some time!! I think he's the best thing since sliced bread......

    Can you imagine having that woman as your mother-in-law? what a nut case!
  • CMmrsfloyd
    CMmrsfloyd Posts: 2,380 Member
    I currently have 2 boys, plan to have more kids in the future. I will let them have chaperoned 'dates' as soon as they start asking, as long as the other parent is fine with it and I get to talk to them first. Might turn out to be more like a double family outing. LOL As far as any 'private' time is concerned, I haven't decided on when that will start yet. They are going to have to sit through a lot of discussions about sex, feelings, reproduction, not trusting birth control since every method aside from abstinence has a real failure rate, how easy it is to get a girl pregnant and what happens afterward and to come directly to me and their dad if it happens, etc first before they gain my approval for private dates. I don't have a specific age in mind, I'd like them to wait as long as possible to do any serious dating b/c I don't want it to interfere with their school, but realistically I know that teenagers get interested in dating way before they are done with school so we'll take one day at a time.
  • _Ben
    _Ben Posts: 1,608 Member
    Anything before is just childish crushes, saying you are boyfriend and girlfriend, when you have only maybe held hands, never talk to eachother, whatever.

    Seriously, where do you live, the fifties? I'm thirty now, and there are a number of people I went to school with who have teenage children by now. They were most definitely not just holding hands and sending Valentines at 15...

    Its all about the parenting at that point. Im saying with good parenting, thats as far as it gets
  • SailingMike
    SailingMike Posts: 237 Member


    Good grief! Five in college and you still have something in the wallet? Must be bright kids!

    It amazes me too! lol

    (Hint: Post graduate science majors get FREE schooling AND get paid for working in the lab!!)
  • CMmrsfloyd
    CMmrsfloyd Posts: 2,380 Member
    Anything before is just childish crushes, saying you are boyfriend and girlfriend, when you have only maybe held hands, never talk to eachother, whatever.

    Seriously, where do you live, the fifties? I'm thirty now, and there are a number of people I went to school with who have teenage children by now. They were most definitely not just holding hands and sending Valentines at 15...

    Its all about the parenting at that point. Im saying with good parenting, thats as far as it gets

    Good parenting aside, by that time kids have a mind of their own. Believe me. I had amazing parents and definitely made my own decisions.
  • Sonchie
    Sonchie Posts: 259 Member
    I think it really depends on the child and the parents. My son had a g/f when he was 13 but of course they didnt go places alone. He didnt always want to be with her. They behaved like friends. They would go places with the family. More or less hanging out, but the real dates didnt start until he was 16 and driving. My now 13 year old daughter doesnt even seem interested yet so we will see!
  • jend114
    jend114 Posts: 1,058 Member
    I so don't want to think about this right now. She's only 2. I'm gonna go with 15/16 though.
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