What age is appropriate for you kid to start dating?

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  • _Ben
    _Ben Posts: 1,608 Member
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    Anyway, just saying guys, this is started to get a bit heated, so Im taking a step back for now. Just going to say this, you are absolutely allowed to disagree with another poster, have a counter opinion, but lets not be attacking one another. We are all starting to get a bit out of hand, so as I said, make sure you are not attackinf one another
  • Pinnagerjaggin
    Pinnagerjaggin Posts: 79
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    My parents never made any definitive age for me that I could start dating but they did make rules. I started dating freshman year of highschool and every one of my boyfriends was expected to come over and have dinner with my parents so they can get to know them. I'm 24 now and they don't require it but I still bring them home for dinner so I they can meet them.
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,293 Member
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    Anyway, just saying guys, this is started to get a bit heated, so Im taking a step back for now. Just going to say this, you are absolutely allowed to disagree with another poster, have a counter opinion, but lets not be attacking one another. We are all starting to get a bit out of hand, so as I said, make sure you are not attackinf one another

    I don't see anyone getting out of hand or attacking. I must have missed it.
  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
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    My husband and I agreed that if our daughter is to date before 18, then we are double dating with her. She goes to the movies, guess what, it just happens to be that they will be seeing the movie we *REALLY* wanted to see too. We joke that we will be sitting right behind her. They go to a concert, guess what, we love that band too, expect us to be the geeky parents rocking out to the teen band....

    If she has a problem with this, then she can wait till she is 40, like I said before. :wink:
  • writtenINthestars
    writtenINthestars Posts: 1,933 Member
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    Hmmm well didn't really "date" until i had my license and could go out and about on my own...so 16. Before that, the only "dates" I would go on were with my love interest of my whole teenage life, Jason ::sighs::. For *my* kids, I'd be fine with dating to start around 15ish....(so I say now...)
  • sweetiepie31612
    sweetiepie31612 Posts: 240 Member
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    Just be careful about putting strict rules about NOT dating till a certain age. I wasn't allowed to date, but I had a "boyfriend" in 5th grade. I desperately wanted to tell my mom about it because I was so excited, but I was afraid she's be mad and I'd get punished. When she chaperoned the 5th grade dance I broke down and HAD to tell her and the rules changed. I never had to sneak out of my house. I never had a curfew I only had to call if I was going to be unreasonably late and I always had to wake my parents up when I got home (this prevented me from drinking). My parents always took the time to get to know all of my friends and boyfriends. It was a small school and I dated the whole football team by the time I graduated. My poor dad. LOL I have a relationship with my parents though and we talk about everything. My mom never wanted me to feel like I couldn't come to her with ANYTHING and I eventually went to her for EVERYTHING. I was far from a goody goody, but I didn't lose my viginity until I was a senior in college. I respected myself and my parents and I wanted my frist time to be with someone I was in love with and who clearly loved me back. My mom was one of the first people I told and she was so happy for me. So many girls don't get to have such a meaninful and special first time. While I'm sure she wished I'd waited until I was married, she was nothing but supportive.
  • fairygirl716
    fairygirl716 Posts: 213
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    I haven't read through all the posts, but needed to add my two cents.

    I'm the senior high youth director for our church. I deal with teens all the time and just about all of them are dating. I see all the non sense drama that takes place. I know, because they have told me themselves, that those that are dating 8 out of 10 are sexual active and regret it.

    With that being said...

    My husband and I have taught our 12 year old girl and 13 year old boy from a young age by way of them answering this simple question: What is the point of dating?
    Their answer? To find the person you want to marry.

    Our response: Are you ready to think about getting married?

    Their Response: Heck no!

    Therefore, they aren't in the frame of mind that they want to date anytime soon. It doesn't seem exhilerating to them or "moviefied".

    Teaching our children that dating isn't all "fun and games" and giving them purpose for dating CAN change the way they approach the subject. We have not set a certain age for dating in our household. As of right now, it isn't even on the table as an option. When the topic is risen again we have already built a foundation that they are able to utilize to answer the question on their own.

    In my opinion, until they are 16 (ish, this really depends on their maturity and the maturity of their friends), taking a group of 3 or more with parent surpervsion on date like activities is acceptable. After 16, if they have shown maturity, they can go on "group dates" with 4 or more.

    It is very important to teach our children what dating is for. You can certainly spend time with friends and get to know them on many levels WITHOUT one on one time. The set-up of a date promotes intimacy that MOST teenagers are not fully equipped to handle.

    Thus concluding my thoughts, intimacy really should be reserved for a serious couple that has plans for a future. (*note: I'm not saying sex, I'm saying INTIMACY)


    And bring on the naysayers...
  • writtenINthestars
    writtenINthestars Posts: 1,933 Member
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    Until they are 18 though, imo, always make sure they are going to bf/gf house when PARENTS ARE HOME. Call and ask to talk to a parent. They arent home? Then you aint going! Just the same with parties. Its shocking to me at times how little parents actually check up on things like that. If your worried about your kid getting preggers or w/e, just make sure they are not the only ones home. Its not that difficult

    Oh geez.... no offense but the things I've gotten away with that would make a nun blush happened when people were home....

    But I do agree that parents do need to check up on their kids more often in situations like these :)
  • joejccva71
    joejccva71 Posts: 2,985 Member
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    When I am able to pick up a truck with my bare hands and throw it down the street, then my daughter can date. =)
  • ljloran
    ljloran Posts: 18
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    To Ben

    I don't think you need a hug. After reading your other posts, I think you need a pat on the back. Totally agree with your views.
  • vbennett7
    vbennett7 Posts: 99 Member
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    I tell my daughter that dating has a purpose=to find a husband. She is not looking to get married, thus no dating. (she is only 13)I know she will have to wait til 16 at least.
  • chrissyh
    chrissyh Posts: 8,235 Member
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    MY DAUGHTER IS 15..SHE CAN DOUBLE DATE W/ FRIENDS IF I KNOW WHO THEY ARE AND THERE FAMILY. SHE CAN DATE AT 16

    sounds right to me too.
  • lbetancourt
    lbetancourt Posts: 522 Member
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    What is considering dating? Going out to a movie, I suppose. Really, I don't mind my 14 yr old daughter going out to watch a movie with a boyfriend or meeting him at the mall. I am not worried about the dating. Think the real issue here is parents are afraid of their kids having sex. We speak openly about sex in my home. My thought is, they are going to have it regardless. I just want my kids to be safe. That's my concern. And, I don't think dating means looking for husband. It's not in everyone's card to get married.
  • brittanyjeanxo
    brittanyjeanxo Posts: 1,831 Member
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    I'm surprised at some of the answers on here. My mom never really gave me an age that was appropriate. I would come home at like 11 and say that I got a boyfriend and she would be "happy" (I'm sure not on the inside, haha.) She was there for me when they undoubtedly came to an end, and I was never really asked out on dates. Just had boyfriends. They would be allowed over to hang out, not alone in my room or anything, but she was pretty lenient as far as hanging out goes. She was always open with me about things like sex and invited me to not feel scared about talking to her when it came to that kind of thing, but always made sure that I waited until I was totally ready. I think it was because of that that I did end up waiting until I met my fiance. Obviously since he's my fiance, it's working out haha. I'm glad I didn't have one of those moms that was overprotective. I knew a lot of girls that did, and they were some of the most promiscuous girls in school. Overprotecting does nothing but lead to your kid feeling like they have to sneak around behind your back.
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,293 Member
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    What is considering dating? Going out to a movie, I suppose. Really, I don't mind my 14 yr old daughter going out to watch a movie with a boyfriend or meeting him at the mall. I am not worried about the dating. Think the real issue here is parents are afraid of their kids having sex. We speak openly about sex in my home. My thought is, they are going to have it regardless. I just want my kids to be safe. That's my concern. And, I don't think dating means looking for husband. It's not in everyone's card to get married.

    I agree. As I recall from my dating past it was mostly hoping for sex, nothing to do with finding a wife, as crude as they may sound it would be the same for the majority of boys.
  • withchaco
    withchaco Posts: 1,026 Member
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    This isn't about reaching a certain age. It's about how mature and prudent the individual is. Some people never gain enough maturity and wisdom to choose a suitable partner no matter how old they get... There are also exceptional people who become ready at a surprisingly early age. Then there are all sorts of people in between.

    I'm in the "dating isn't fun and games, it's for finding your wife/husband" boat.
  • IamOnMywayNow
    IamOnMywayNow Posts: 470 Member
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    My son/daughter cant date until they are out of high school. So about 18.
  • JaydeSkye
    JaydeSkye Posts: 282 Member
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    These are my three daughters.

    119lzc0.jpg

    Unless Prince Charming finds a way to clone himself and make three exact copies, is 100% Italian and rides in on a f*cking unicorn... I'm going with NEVER.
  • joejccva71
    joejccva71 Posts: 2,985 Member
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    These are my three daughters.

    119lzc0.jpg

    Unless Prince Charming finds a way to clone himself and make three exact copies, is 100% Italian and rides in on a f*cking unicorn... I'm going with NEVER.

    LOL. We gotta talk about this unicorn thing.
  • Shanna_Inc86
    Shanna_Inc86 Posts: 781 Member
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    Having raised two daughters, their father and I decided that they could date when they were 16. They KNEW this, at an early age. And although we STUCK to that, they tried to sneak around a bit........and generally got caught!

    I'll never forget the time that my eldest (who was about 15 at the time) was spending the night at her best friend's house - well, we also had a rule that the kids had to call home around 10 PM when they were over-night like this (that was my x's rule......but what the heck, it worked). She didn't call.

    So, he asked me to call their house - Mom answered and said "Oh, the girls went out to a movie with their boyfriends". WHAT???? Hubby got on the line, found out which theatre they went to, WENT to the theatre, into each movie, calling out her name! Yikes (I was home with the younger child, so didn't witness this ;)

    She and the bf had left the theatre, and when The Princess got back to her friend's house, Dad was there to take her home. Needless to say, she didn't try that again ;)

    bahahahahaha I love this so much!!!!
    I wasn't allowed to date till I was 16 and my parents had to meet the guy first.
    My rule will probably be the same for my daughter, under the condition that she has a healthy fear of her mother and understands that mama is crazy and mama will own a gun by then. My ex isn't the one boys will have to fear...its me! :devil:

    Even though I'm a younger mom, I know that I have to be a MOM FIRST and her friend 2nd...if she ends up hating me at some point, I'm doing my job

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