WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR APRIL 2024

Anniesquats100 wrote: »

Machka I don't express my feelings at home. My dad is just difficult to talk to; his hearing is bad, he forgets what I say, and he thinks of me as a little girl. And his generation doesn't believe in feelings. Most of our conversations are about getting through the day's errands. So this forum is a great release for me.

And I recently started journaling, as part of my diet journey. I feel awkward about having a written record of my thoughts, but it feels good to actually do the writing. I haven't gotten into anything personal and I probably won't. But just expressing myself feels good and helps me focus on the day's diet lesson.

Annie in Delaware

For whatever reason writing my thoughts makes me irritated and upset. I have started to do it. I've gotten a few words out then deleted the whole thing and felt like I just wasted precious time.

It's the same sort of reaction I have to meditation. I have attempted some sort of meditation, usually with a group going through a guided meditation, but it usually just makes me feel irritated and upset and like I could have been doing something productive with that time.

I have even tried to write the story of what happened to my husband, but I haven't been able to do that either. I've started it and have the framework done, but when it comes to the non-technical stuff, the emotional stuff, I just can't bring myself to write it.


Machka in Oz

Machka9 wrote: »

RAIN!!

In the last 13 or 14 hours, we have had the 10 mm in the image below plus another 11 mm that hasn't been added to the first 10 mm yet. 😃 And it is still raining!!

But have a look at how dry it has been leading up to this!!

Everything is brown and dusty here with bushfires popping up here and there.




Machka in Oz

We ended up with a very welcome 26 mm. Not nearly enough but because it fell steadily , it should do some good.

M in Oz

Anna in Michigan - Good job standing firm! For me, measurements are a better indicator than that fickle scale that for me just tracks bathroom habits. After years of stepping on Weight Watcher's scale, it was hard to give up. So I established a 5# range and no longer get focused on the daily ups and downs. Seems like older guys like your dad have a hard time keeping up with wearing and taking care of hearing aids. I will say my dad was pretty faithful wearing his up until he died 20 years ago - but they were always chirping - maybe this was the low battery indicator.

Today I'm hoping to play with the new laptop. It came with Windows 10S and I need to disable the S: instructions are on the Microsoft support website. Looks like 10S was created to only allow apps from the Microsoft store - some businesses and agencies and regular folks with busy grandkids needed it to prevent downloading willy nilly and potentially unsafe apps. Anyhow it's blocking downloads of Windows 11 and also apps like LibreOffice.

Did some weed eating yesterday then hopped on the mower and knocked down the high grassy spots in my lawn. There's a big patch in the back yard where grass just doesn't want to grow - crane fly damage and drought - and that's just the way it is. Seems many lawns on my little block have the same problem.

Have any of you ever played pickleball?

It's a beautiful morning. Quiet except for birds singing their little hearts out. I just had the girls out for a little walk/scratch about. I've noticed Fairy has the keenest eyesight - she can scratch just about anywhere and pull out an earthworm Gladys and Thelma overlook. I'm so fortunate to have them so tame I can stand right by them and watch so closely.

Back in a bit. Make it an awesome day

Lanette
SW WA State

Janie (sister) told me the cremation was going to be tomorrow, she’ll let me know the time. Janie also told me that she called judy(sister in law) and told her about mom, tony(brother) wasn’t home. She called to invite them to a gathering, potluck/bbq they were going to have for her. Tony and mom have been on the outs since I don’t know when so I doubt that he will be there but the invitation is there. Joey (brother that was staying with her) didn’t want to do any get together so Janie is and told him if he didn’t show up that was fine.

I swear, this is better than a soap opera, you can’t make this $”&t up

Snowflake1968 wrote: »

Heather - I 100% agree that funeral homes charge so much. I also think it’s not necessary for the viewing, the people I talked about didn’t want anything at all, not even a celebration of life. I believe that those left need something to remember and honour their loved one. I learned a lot about my Dad from his friends and family that attended, it was so nice to learn about him from a different angle.
I am very interested in MAID here in Canada. I think that quality overrides quantity when it comes to life.
I hope the Grands are not too tiring for you today.
The paintings are beautiful!

Kylia - it must be difficult that your daughters aren’t getting along. Maybe your house could be neutral and a feud free zone.
I too am a hugger and touchy person, but I know who in my circle really doesn’t want touched or hugged.

Lisa - I loved doing the gallery wall, I’m quite happy with it now that I made a couple of small changes.

Annie - I have a terrible time at resisting lately, I used to be better at it. I think I’m not eating as healthy as I was, so I’m always looking for something to satisfy me.

Margaret - lovely photo.

Rita - I’m so glad you found what may be causing the higher anxiety. I used to watch 911 all the time, I need to get back to it. I’ve heard of the “living funerals” I think that is awesome.
A friend’s story regarding medication:

Trigger warning so I’ll put in a spoiler.

My friend started a new medication for fibromyalgia in February 2020, she was to have a follow up appointment in a month, but Covid hit and everything, including her doctors office shut down. She didn’t see a doctor again until April, but it was a video appointment and the main thing they discussed was a spot on her nose that turned out to be skin cancer. In June she had surgery that required a lot of plastic surgery afterwards to rebuild her nose. She was depressed and chalked it up to Covid restrictions and her surgery.
In October of that year they found out they needed to bring her MIL out to live with them, the MIL was terrible, called her names, threatened her, etc. Her husband didn’t believe his mother was being this bad. She ended up spending most of her days in the bedroom so that she didn’t have to interact with her. I was growing very concerned and invited her to come stay with us. I felt no one was paying attention to her.
In January of 2021 she ended up attempting suicide, when she was finally given the help she so needed it was found that the medication she had started almost a year before had suicidal ideation as a side effect. She never even thought about that, she had so many other things going on that she thought that was causing all of her thoughts and actions. Medication is nothing to play around with. As soon as the medicine was removed (slowly, she couldn’t stop it cold turkey) she was able to handle all of the other stuff that had been happening.

Linda - sounds like an eventful Easter!

Joy - I hope your daughter has a positive result from the tests. I had to have a lump removed when I was in my early 20’s, the stress of waiting for the result was hard to deal with.

Barbara - why music in the crawl space?

Sue - how terrible! I hope you fell better soon. That tenant needs to get out soon. Does your lawyer have any advice on how to do it?

Ginny - you are so right about the differing work schedules. This year hasn’t been as bad as last year when he worked nights and I was working days and nothing has been as bad as when he drove truck but it’s still been hard to stay connected this year. Although I have to say the last few days have been better.
I hope you don’t have to use your “go bag.”

Michele - pretty ceramics.

I have a tough assignment this week. I have to partner with a classmate that the instructor chose, we need to have a one minute conversation using only ASL. We are meeting after class tomorrow to write our script, we present on Friday and it’s worth 50% of our mark. I think that online courses should have any assignments that rely on a partner. It seems unfair, we don’t know each other, have only met in person once. Just strange to me.

I coloured my hair tonight, and am now watching American Idol and then The Voice.

Tracey in Edmonton

@Tracey, I took a semester of ASL for one of my language requirements. The final grade project, which was in person (no online classes back then) was to find a song, poem, monologue, to sign to the class. I chose the song “Big Girls Don’t Cry” as mine. While performing it, I psyched myself up and got lost in the music, so my facial expressions went along with the song and ASL. The class was laughing with me and I got an A plus for it. I was happy and had fun at the same time. On the other hand, when I was working on my both my masters, they were all virtual and had to work with others in groups. I always hated that, but took lead because I wanted the A and at the last minute would do whatever was missing and needed to get that grade for my group. I did assign parts and didn’t do anything about them until the very end. I would then send a note to the instructor stating what I thought was the contributions people did. The instructor more often than not, figured it out without my notes.

RVRita in Roswell

Today is:

Today’s gratitude: Joe telling me about the Count of Monte Christo, he just finished the first book where Dantès did good for all who tried to do good to him, and is not starting the second book getting into the revenge. I’m thankful I’ve never been hurt so very badly that I would be consumed with vengeance.
Carol the trees and ocean (and fenced area for the dogs) are 3 of the things that make this my “dream home.” Happy to share with you!
Linda Thanks for letting us know it all came out ok “sprinkles” ;}
Oh Sue. Is there no way to expedite her eviction?
Michele prayers for Eva in her home. Why ever would Jess want to interest you in gardening? Haven’t you enough to do? ROTFLMAOWMP! Hadn’t thought of the good side of worry, looking for my wallet should have burned a few calories. Thanks! Your praying mantis made me smile!
Tracey music and talk radio in the crawl space to disrupt the mousies’ peace and urge them to move back into the quiet forest Tracey you are so right about differing schedules. Both Joe and I are retired, but his last job was graveyard shift and our patterns have never re-synced after that. A little sad, but means our morning tea chats are all the more important to me. There may be more to that assignment than meets the eye… but you’ll have no trouble. You’re great at getting people to cooperate
Machka happy to make you smile and remind you of the “incoming” hugger. Filed the list of TBI websites in my “just in case…”
Debbie “. . . and she ate all of it.” WOW! What a positive result of both your calling her out on the lies and a sweet balm to Easter’s pain. You GO girl!!!
Heather Brava for proactivity! Edie’s wish and your response made me misty.
Annie I’m with you. Send a check.. or use a credit-not-debit card for its protections.
Anna in MI “measurements… shrinking”? VERY well done!. That is truly what I wish and will work for this month.
Lanette love hearing about your girls and so thankful they were protected from whatever got the bunny. Thanks so much for yours to Machka about Dr. David Hanscom. “this I can do” Brava!
Rita good wishes on weaning yourself off from the anxiety meds. Know your walks and photography are therapeutic. ((hugs)) Would love to see a YouTube of your signing Big Girls Don’t Cry. Bet it would make me laugh too!
Pip good take on the soap opera.
Lisa holding good thoughts that tomorrow’s procedure brings clarity and painless solutions.

Shoulda done what Lisa did, now won’t have time for PT before shower. Grr.

Later, lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
April: Move more than yesterday, fuel better than yesterday, live NOW.
Open heart and mind before mouth.
2024: Strengthen: body, mind, heart-connections

Well my teeth cleaning went fine yesterday. They only did the upper teeth, the lower teeth is at an appointment in July. My husband just got "coding" done. His cleaning is spanned over 4 appointments! Then comes the teeth correcting. So it will be something that financially will be spanned over the year, (they're a busy place).
So yesterday got a call from eldest in Japan. He's doing well, and has organized a solution to his household goods dilemma. You see he had his household goods shipped over and though he has 90 days to get it, he had no place to put it. He was told the housing there would be unfurnished, but they are furnished places, and SMALL. We told him they would be, but he was like I don't have too much stuff. Well now he is scrambling a bit but wants to buy a moving truck. He will park it on base and he can keep his boxes in there, his furniture and his scooters. I have my doubts it will work. There is the fact that he needs a commercial vehicle license for that. But in the end he will either have boxes all in his place, and just sell his furniture, or this truck thing will pan out. Fingers crossed!
The grandkids being sweet💖





Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa

Debbie - I hope MIL agrees to the Meals on Wheels, that will help give your husband a break.

Machka - We are in drought conditions here in Alberta this year. I am hoping we get some rain because the fire season is going to be bad if we don't. Next week my final session in my course is on Traumatic Brain Injury and Physical impairments. I feel I'll be a bit ahead of the game from everything you have shared.

I have tried to journal too, but found when I have something on my mind it’s best for me to write it out then tear it up. I write in letter style more often than not. I can’t meditate either, I have never figured out how to get my brain to shut up. I do like going for drives when things are on my mind, crank the music and go. I don’t do that much now, but it was my go to for years.

Heather - I sure hope your doctor steps up soon and completes that form. I also hope you get a nap in sometime today.

Annie - Your Dad sure is wanting to stay active and useful.
My Dad did the same, I was reading my Mom's diary last week - October 2012 - "Lorne, (my dad) got out of the hospital this morning, they've ordered a hospital bed for him. We went to Nancy's this afternoon so he could check on the deck he's building." At this point my Dad was on oxygen 24/7 and had been told he his chemo wasn't working, but he still went and built a deck for his niece. I think it helped him keep his mind off things.

Anna - I worked in a nursing home, there were quite a few residents, men included, that dyed their hair. Most of my family has allowed their grey to come in. I am just not ready to allow mine to come in, for several reasons. I may at some point allow it, I think the growing in part will be the worst.

I hope you’re able to help your dad with his hearing aids. They are expensive not to take care of.

Great job on your weight loss.

Rita - I wouldn’t keep trying meds either if I had negative reactions.
I’ve met, via Teams, the lady I will be conversing with using ASL on Friday. We each are going to say 6 lines. I would have made it a bit more challenging to learn, but we’re not sure if our instructor will even know what we’re signing. I just hope it’s long enough. Working in a team that affects me personally always bothers me, I like being responsible for my own marks on my own.

On speaking my feelings: I have a tendency to bottle things up and then let it explode. I have worked on this over the years and have gotten much better at saying things than I used to.
If I’m being honest, you ladies probably know more of my inner thoughts than anyone else.

On being touched: I actually love being touched and hugged. Not by complete strangers but if we’ve just met and made a connection I for sure would be open to a hug. My eldest daughter doesn’t like being hugged, has a huge personal space area, but is very loving towards the grands. Rodger, thankfully, is very open to hugs and touch and so is Kaitlyn. Brodey is not a hugger. I’ve actually made him a mug that has cactus on it that says “not a hugger”. Lauryn’s husband is not the hugging type either.

Barbara - I never would have thought about a radio to get rid of mice. I have the plug in sonic things in our place. “Knock on wood” we have made it two years without an issue here. I hope to never have to deal with them again.


My eldest daughter is suffering terribly with anxiety and it’s affecting my grandchildren’s education. I don’t know how to help her. She is having dizzy spells and ends up vomiting a lot, she then can’t drive the kids to school. The schools are too far for them to walk, the city busses are not safe at all anymore and they don’t qualify for the school bus. If I lived closer I would just drive the kids myself but I can’t drive into the city twice a day to take them and pick them up. I’m so concerned about this, also quite angry about it because she didn’t go see the doctor and now the doctor has retired and she doesn’t have one. I try not to nag at her about it because I don’t want our relationship ruined, but I’m quite put out.

I’m also put out with DH right now, he keeps taking the option to come home instead of staying at work, because he’s bored. He told me before I chose to go back to school that he would work to make sure we weren’t affected too much financially. He isn’t holding up his end of the bargain. I also don’t want to nag at him, he’s an adult and should know if he’s not working we don’t have money.

I’m feeling very angry at both of them today.

Tracey in Edmonton