We broke up because...

Our last date was so bad. He took me out to a really expensive restaurant, "forgot" his wallet, and told me he'd give me cash later. Then, drove me to a karaoke bar, and said very seductively, "Here's your Cash, babe..." and sang the Johnny Cash version of Hurt....

Our intimate time left me with a ring of fire (too much? Lol)

She told me she didn't like salsa.
Joking or not. I couldn't finish our date. Chips and salsa are important.

Spent too much time in the kitchen and not enough time with me

We never really talked

Kept changing the Netflix password without telling me

Didn't like my Spotify playlists

She kept a toy in the car she called her "digital music thing"

I just wanted to play

Only thinks I play a certain game

Didn't want to be her side piece

Always wanted to pour sugar on me and call me his sugar cookie

Always referred to me as "sugar", "honey", or "cookie". I'm pretty sure she forgot my name 😭 😉

Hated when I picked em up in my toy car. Said Tonka trucks were deal breakers😪

Her jokes made no sense to me