WOMEN AGES 50+FOR MAY 2024
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Annie and Machka - In the UK, if the house deeds have obviously been transferred recently to avoid having to sell it, then that is illegal, and charges on the house can still be made. Whether the councils will actually pursue the cash is another matter. Also they may let the survivor live in the house for a while, or for life, and make a charge on it. Usually, there is a 7 year gap required to avoid charges. This doesn't apply to a spouse, when the law is they cannot demand the house is sold.
Annie, it may help to think of looking after your dad as a full time paid job, in that you are earning the worth of the house. This should be discussed with your sister. i. e. you should get a bigger share. Do you have carer's allowance in the US? If there is, you should be applying for it.
My heart goes out to you. You need legal advice.
I'm not going to my son's house today. John is picking up Bea. I am keeping myself quiet. We will have an easy dinner - falafel and hummus with fluffy pittas, and a big salad. (Yesterday was baked cod with a pesto crust, and cauliflower mashed with crême fraiche and Parmesan. ) We have had a lot of fishy and non meat days recently. We had egg sandwiches for lunch.
I can see a nap in the near future. Sleep was very sparse last night. Pain worse today. I'm blaming the rain.
Tracey - Michaela is so lovely. Wonderful, strong, character. I love it when they are their own people.
Vicki - So sorry about your long-term friend. Such a huge loss. It's often not given enough weight. My friends are so important to me. Hugs. XOXO
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx4 -
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Morning ladies
I was up and out early..got Alfie to the groomers at 6:45 and got bloodwork in 2 different towns and back home by 8:30 am3 -
Carol, That's good news for your husband.
Vicki Sorry to hear about your friend.
It's raining today so maybe we'll finally have time to figure out the new safe which is still sitting under a chair in the living room.
Barbie in NW WA3 -
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@Michelle: A sloppy Kevin is like a sloppy Joe only lean, diced tomatoes instead of purée or sauce, no sugar, and DH put shredded carrots in everything. It adds sweetness along with the veggie vitamins.
@Machka: I’ve been wondering…. Is your ‘Tip’ store like a Salvation Army Thrift Store you can buy or donate too? We have a GoodWill and a Humane Society one also. I found another, not sure if I can find it again, that buys and sells donated things as well. This is a poor area for the locals and there are plenty of these types of shops here.
@Vicki; My sympathies for your friend. It is hard to lose someone close to you.
Food Yesterday
Breakfast: 1/2 Organic banana, MCT oil 1 Tbl. Corn Flakes, 1 cup, Full fat plain Greek yogurt 1/2 cup, Green Tea with lemon
Lunch: Flour Tortilla, large, sautéed chicken breast 4 oz., 1 oz. Shredded cheddar cheese, 1/2 small avocado, chopped radishes, chopped green onions (from my garden pots), sliced mushrooms, and a dash of BBQ sauce, no sugar, Kevin’s recipe.
Snack: 2 grapes, 1 oz cheddar cheese
Dinner/snack: 3 small ice cream cups, the kind that come in a bag at Walmart for parties.
96.5 oz water
All told only 152 calories over the 1200 calorie goal.
RVRita in Roswell Where it is supposed to be much cooler at only 93 for a high with <25% humidity. Perfect temp.
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cityjaneLondon wrote: »Annie and Machka - In the UK, if the house deeds have obviously been transferred recently to avoid having to sell it, then that is illegal, and charges on the house can still be made. Whether the councils will actually pursue the cash is another matter. Also they may let the survivor live in the house for a while, or for life, and make a charge on it. Usually, there is a 7 year gap required to avoid charges. This doesn't apply to a spouse, when the law is they cannot demand the house is sold.
Annie, it may help to think of looking after your dad as a full time paid job, in that you are earning the worth of the house. This should be discussed with your sister. i. e. you should get a bigger share. Do you have carer's allowance in the US? If there is, you should be applying for it.
My heart goes out to you. You need legal advice.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
Yes, agreed, Annie and her sister need legal advice.
With the Carer's allowance, it's a good idea to find out what all the strings attached to it are first. I investigated it here, and started to apply for it, but felt there were too many strings attached for my comfort.
But it is certainly worth looking at all the options.
M in Oz
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Today is Tea, meditation, and Duolingo! A great day!
A bit about St. Helena Day: The volcanic island, in the South Atlantic Ocean off the coast of mainland Africa, celebrates the day the island was discovered on this day.
RVRita who is drinking her tea while writing this! Have a great day!!3 -
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Vicki, hugs friend, so sorry to hear of your long time friend's passing.🙏
Well the floor guy has done the dining room and today is the kitchen. The floor linoleum is more busy than I would've ever chosen. Lee and I think the lines in it look like you know when you sweep into a dust pan and lift your broom up? There's that dirt line? That's what it kind of looks likes strewn around with the rectangles and grays. But heck it will definitely hide dirt!
Its raining today on the island. We won't have access to our kitchen until the afternoon. He still has to glue down the linoleum in the photo, then cut kitchen side and glue. I think he would be annoyed, me trying to make soup while he's there.😂
Thinking of my youngest this week as he's heading to San Diego for some refresher training before he heads overseas to a ship. Hopefully I will get a call on Saturday though.💖. My eldest sailor connected with me on a text, while he's on his carrier on the Big Blue. I thanked him for checking in.💖. Now I just need photos of Athena's birthday party.💖. All in all everyone is communicating well in my family, and I am at peace with life.💖. Vertigo was less last night.
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa
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I walked a mile with my dad. No cramps and no bathroom issues! Yay! But I am really out of shape.
Annie in Delaware7 -
Anniesquats100 wrote: »I walked a mile with my dad. No cramps and no bathroom issues! Yay! But I am really out of shape.
Annie in Delaware
Sounds like walking with your dad will be good for both of you3 -
2 goofballs..furry and otherwise.. Alfie back from the groomers and SMiles making silly faces at daycare.7 -
Annie - maybe your dad's new job is as your fitness trainer!
As far as I was able to discover there is no real "carers" pay in the US, there seemed to be a way to get some but you had to be licensed, and one person I spoke with at our local senior center said it was a 2 year program to get licensed. When I checked into it was while my mom was staying with me - and I knew it was very short term. But Annie it might be worth looking into as yours is not just for a recovery time as mine was. My local senior center has some folks who are very helpful and others not so much so if you do reach out to them and don't get help, try at a different time. LOL
Kim4 -
Tracey--Michaela did a really good job on the hoodie.
Annie--Glad the doctor backed you about the no driving. I agree the not going for a walk a lone is going to be hard. Glad your sister is coming to help figure things out.
The reason I became her POA was because her daughter that lives here was not paying her bills and she was at the point they were going to have to move her again. The place she was in did a great job with her. She was happy there and did not want to move. So she was able to sign the paperwork making me POA. Last month we made the arrangements for her creamation and picked out the box and had it engraved. It is all paid for. Also got her on hospice. Well since she has passed my POA expired. The daughters have not gotten a long in over 15 years. We all talked and I thought things were civil. Then yesterday afternoon I get a call from the funeral home telling me the daughter that lives here came in and signed the paperwork to do the creamnation and brought 2 urns. Said she wants the ashes divided into 3. One for her, one for the other sister and one for me. That is crazy. So much for her honoring her mom's wishes. I am not going to fight with her. I told the funeral home to let her do what she wants and put mine and the other daughter in the box we ordered and I will pick them up when ready and when the daughter gets here next month I will give them to her. What is wrong with people? I know with her it is a control issue. Thanks for listening.
Blessings, Vicki GRAND ISLAND, NE7 -
My mom had long term care insurance. It would have paid family $100 a day to care for her in her or our home, but we blew past all of that when she fell.
In the US, it is five years from title change. One of my coworkers just reached there with his mom. She currently lives in a small house on their property, but there have been scares over the last couple years, the most recent was a broken hip.
My mil was on Medicaid, so "they paid" for everything, then after she died, sent us a bill for $130,000 and asked when we planned to pay. Fortunately, we were able to sell her house to cover the debt, but just.
My husband is still bitter, but if they hadn't paid for it, we would have had to anyway. (As it was, he was supplementing what Medicaid didn't cover, maybe $1500 a month? Because his mom didn't want to stay in a place with "poor people" in complete denial that she was just about as poor as a person could be.) And why should the American tax payer pay for her care when she had assets in her house, and she didn't have to sell her house to get care. It's just the way it is.
My mom expected to live a long time and need lots of care, which is why she bought long term care insurance, in the end, I think it was worth it for her, but the premiums were high and she used it for less than six months.
It makes us nervous. I probably won't have to worry about it, but my husband's father is 90 and still going, so my husband could live another 20 years or more.
Hard things to think about because it's not just about money, but about dignity.
Flea
Willamette Valley OR
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Annie ~ Congrats on your walk.
Rebecca ~ I think the floor look fine. You will get used to it.
Vicki ~ Your friend's family sure is making life hard.
I got my hearing evaluated this morning and have ordered new hearing aids. My insurance will pay $1000 and I will pay the rest.
Carol in GA5 -
Annie and Beth-My thoughts are with you in this very difficult time.
Barbie-I’m the same as you on grocery shopping. There was a homeless person sitting near the door of the store when I came out once and I was trying to think of something in my bag to give him to eat, but there wasn’t anything that didn’t require preparation. I felt good about that for me, not so much for him.
Lisa-So great it’s working out with your BIL. I would love to have one man that does the hard labor, but alas, that is not how it works in our home.
Ginny-Sorry to hear about your brother. Hugs to you.
Barbara-Good news about Jake.
Eating out-We have very mediocre restaurants here. It’s extremely difficult to find even mediocre food and frankly, I can make anything we’ve had here in the past 20 years so much better. However, sometimes I want to go out and have someone else clean up after me. I get so tired of doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen. That said, we used to go out 4-5 times per week (either lunch or dinner), but since everything is so expensive now, we have cut that back to 2 or sometimes 3 and we are very choosy about where we go. We also try to make the happy hour menu.
Heather-I thought Edie was gluten free. Avocado toast is a big thing here and you can buy it in restaurants for anywhere between $8-15. I refuse to buy it.
Machka-Nuts have the same effect on me. I have to weigh them out and stick to it or my innards are not happy. But I do love them so much.
Carol-So happy your DH is feeling better!
Vicki-Big hugs.
We spent a lovely long weekend in central California. There was a wine festival and we did a BBQ event hosted by a celebrity chef. It was very nicely done. Not too crowded, not too much wine. Just enough food. I think the price point was perfect to keep it civil. Then we went on a hike and did some tastings at a couple of wineries and breweries. Had some excellent food (It seems we can find good food anywhere but here). Had an episode with a familiar pelvic issue I’ve been fighting for more than 10 years now. I am going to start logging when it happens, what I was doing, eating, and drinking. Maybe I can find a pattern. I’m starting to think it has to do with hormones. My burning feet issue and inability to sleep on my sides just disappeared. I’m wondering if it’s all due to menopause and hormones.
Now that I’m home for a couple of weeks, I’ll start being more strict about my food intake. I’m struggling with motivation to exercise. I don’t know why. I like walking/running. My exercise routines are not lengthy most of the time. I’m just in a “blah” state of mind, I think.
Have a great week!
Tina in CA8 -
Tina - I assume it was gf toast. Most places have gf options. I often give the girls avocado toast when they come over. They both love it. In a local posh café it is £14 a portion!
Brighton and Hove is stuffed with wonderful restaurants and cafés, but we are baulking at the prices. We tend to go to the three or four places we love, and are reliably priced. The pizza certainly doesn't taste like cardboard. It is a pillow of wood-charred heaven! I have broccoli and Italian fennel sausage on mine, chilli and mozzarella.
Edie said xhe didn't finish her breakfast, but it was very good. As an athlete, she is health conscious, and good at stopping when she has had enough. She says she has an extra dessert stomach though!
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx3 -
Stats for the day-
Walk w/family- 2hrs 7min 41sec, 71elev, 2.79ap, 80ahr, 103mhr, 6.22mi= 649c
Strava app = 747c
Walk home to gym- 10.58min, .54mi= 52c
Strava app = 66c
Slow treadmill jog- 21.50min, 10.55min mi, 5.3, 5.5 & 6.0speed, 165spm, 130ahr, 178mhr, 2mi= 230c
Spin at gym- 11.54min, gear12, 117ahr, 134mhr, 15.13amph, 3mi= 112c
Walk gym to home = 11.33min, .55mi= 52c
Strava app = 68c
Total cal 1095. *knees still hurt*
Picked my Dr for Medicare with Kaiser. Picked a guy that was American. The guy I had before was nice but I really had to pay attention or ask him to repeat due to his accent so I didn’t want to deal with it this time.4
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