What age is appropriate for you kid to start dating?
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oohh...that is a tough one. My girls started hanging out with mixed groups under my supervision at 13. Then, after their dad and I properly met parents and boyfriends, they dated at 16 with a strict curfew. Good luck! This is one that absolutely depends on the maturity and good choices of the child!0
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Afraid of mama! I love it!0
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I started dating my now husband on my 14th birthday, he was 16.
8 years later, it is still working out pretty good.0 -
Just to add to this...
Will my daughter get in trouble for having a little "boyfriend" in grade school and middle school...no
Will I encourage her to be open and honest with me, yes b/c I wasn't with my mom b/c my mother ALWAYS over reacted
Will she be allowed to go to movies with friends before she's 16 or have boys come over....yes...HOWEVER I will be driving and bet your *kitten* I'll wait in the parking lot reading a book till its done and at home, the bedroom door MUST be left open.
In all seriousness, going out ALONE with some boy will be a privledge; if she is a good student, good kid and respectful, I'll give her the opportunity to go and trust her to make the right decisions0 -
Until they are 18 though, imo, always make sure they are going to bf/gf house when PARENTS ARE HOME. Call and ask to talk to a parent. They arent home? Then you aint going! Just the same with parties. Its shocking to me at times how little parents actually check up on things like that. If your worried about your kid getting preggers or w/e, just make sure they are not the only ones home. Its not that difficult
Saying the non-word "preggers" doesn't help your case.0 -
The thing is as a parent you would think you would be the one who sets the age on when it is appropriate. Unfortunately the laws state that a 13 year old cannot be with anyone or it is considered an assult. Each state may be different, but please check. Even if they are boyfriend/girlfriend and your child isn't much older than that.0
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lol, this is what my husband and his ex say about their daughter dating. She's only 10 though so no one really likes to think about that right now.No kids yet. Sorry niner. But when I have a daughter? 35.
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Anything before is just childish crushes, saying you are boyfriend and girlfriend, when you have only maybe held hands, never talk to eachother, whatever.
Seriously, where do you live, the fifties? I'm thirty now, and there are a number of people I went to school with who have teenage children by now. They were most definitely not just holding hands and sending Valentines at 15...
Its all about the parenting at that point. Im saying with good parenting, thats as far as it gets
No offense intended but I don't think you really know what it is to raise kids in the real world. "That's as far as it gets" is very easy to say and much harder to enforce unless you are with them 24/7.0 -
I tell my daughter that dating has a purpose=to find a husband. She is not looking to get married, thus no dating. (she is only 13)I know she will have to wait til 16 at least.
If your daughters live by this rule, they will never get married because they will never go on dates...lol.0 -
My husband has told our daughter 25. Right now she's young enough (6) to believe him.
I think the rule with my parents was 16? And then only if they had met the guy, had him to dinner and grilled him first. So I snuck around behind their backs.
***Edited to add*** I didn't think that 16 was an unreasonable age. And the rules they had for dating were, for the most part, reasonable as well. I had to tell them where I was going. Home by 11 unless I gave a good reason to be out later (ex: going to see our friends band play, the show didn't start until 9, curfew would be bumped to 12:30 ish)
What was unreasonable to me was having the dinner with the family thing *before* the first date. The first date was usually still a getting to know you type of thing. I had a lot of first dates that they never knew about. Went out, didn't really care to go out with the guy again, end of story. IMO (then and now) I think that an official "meet the family" type dinner needs to come later, sometime after date 2 or 3, (when it's pretty obvious that you like the person and will continue to see him/her).
That said, I never thought it was unreasonable that my parents wanted to meet the guy before the first date, just not have him to dinner!***
We're thinking probably 15. Young enough to still need a ride to-and-from dates for the first year. We'll cross that bridge when we get there, I guess.0 -
I'd say 18. I wasted a lot of time dating a loser during high school when I could have spent that time with the actual FRIENDS who are still in my life today!
I wouldn't want my kids to make the same mistakes I did... even though really, it all turned out fine for me.
I just wish I hadn't spent SOOOO much of my free time in high school with my boyfriend... oh well.0 -
I have a mild panic attack every time this topic comes up! My oldest girl is 10 and has friends "dating" already. Their parents drop them at the movies and come back to get them. I keep telling her she can date when shes done with college. Which, honestly, is how I feel about it. Realistically, Im going to have to just play it by ear on when she matures enough to handle it, rather is one on one or a group. Im guessing 16? PANIC 0
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Alright I figured it out. She can start dating as soon as I get the right size CHASTITY BELT.0
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I'd say 15-16. Really depends on maturity, though.0
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After she's earned her masters degree.0
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What's that saying? "I was a great parent until I had kids." :laugh:0
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I don't want to scare you parents that say over 16, but many people are already having sex by the age 15-17, and usually kids date prior to having sex, so good luck making them wait that long to start dating.
I completely agree...they may not go on "official" dates, but they are texting, talking, flirting all day long at school...so "dating" may not take place but they will develop relationship with someone and trust them enough to start experimenting. In my graduating class there were 11 kids born to my classmates within a 4 year period and 3 girls crossed the stage pregnant, there was not a whole lot of "official dating" as in going out to dinner and such...but they were definitely "boyfriend and girlfriend" at some point. I think it is best for the parents to develop a good relationship where their kids can talk about anything with them, and I think parents have to do their job and actively parent their kids. That is the only thing that saved me from being 16 and pregnant, I respected my parents and didn't want to disappoint them, I also knew about contraceptives and prevention, thanks to my open minded parents, and I knew that I was the only person that was going to decide the rest of my life, not some guy I was in "love" with. Also, I think some parents are naive and think that their kid would never do anything sexual with someone that they just went to the movies with....or that their kids are "good", temptation gets to everyone, and it is best to remember what it was like when you were 15-17 and realize there are many possibilities for just a couple hours out with their boyfriend/girlfriend/friends.0 -
What is considering dating? Going out to a movie, I suppose. Really, I don't mind my 14 yr old daughter going out to watch a movie with a boyfriend or meeting him at the mall. I am not worried about the dating. Think the real issue here is parents are afraid of their kids having sex. We speak openly about sex in my home. My thought is, they are going to have it regardless. I just want my kids to be safe. That's my concern. And, I don't think dating means looking for husband. It's not in everyone's card to get married.
YES!0 -
My oldest is 15 and he has had a couple of girlfriends. They have never done anything alone, always supervised by us. Unless you count walking around alone in the mall, but we were in the mall ourselves. LOL We always meet the parents and the kids are always with one sets of parents or the other. He can go to school dances. When he turns 16 and can drive, we'll allow him to go on real dates. We've just been playing it by ear, really.
My parents had a hard and fast rule. And it was a little ridiculous in my opinion and that hasn't changed now that I am a parent. I absolutely could NOT date AT ALL until 16. So, when a really sweet boy (from church no less) asked me out, my parents wouldn't allow it. Even though we knew his family really well. In fact, his mother officiated at my wedding. So by the time I turned 16 and he had lost interest, my mother just couldn't understand. I didn't understand what was different about me a few months later, other than the magical age of 16. :huh:0 -
I'm gonna agree with _Ben.
I'm 32 & started actually dating at 16. My parents felt I was responsible enough & had a good head on my shoulders to know the difference between right and wrong. My boyfriend at the time is now my hubby. Our daughter is only 5 right now, so she has a LONG way to go, but it will be here before we know it. Hubby jokes she won't date until she's 40, but he knows better. I just hope our daughter had a good head on her shoulders like we did.
I'm pretty sure when she starts getting old enough to start "experimenting" we will definitely ingrain it into her head what sex is about as well as protection. Neither of us are embarrassed about talking with her on that subject. We are pretty open minded & are striving for that close relationship with our kids that we can talk about ANYTHING. Me and hubby both had that kind of relationship with our parents, and I hope to do the same for my kiddos.
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Anything before is just childish crushes, saying you are boyfriend and girlfriend, when you have only maybe held hands, never talk to eachother, whatever.
Seriously, where do you live, the fifties? I'm thirty now, and there are a number of people I went to school with who have teenage children by now. They were most definitely not just holding hands and sending Valentines at 15...
Its all about the parenting at that point. Im saying with good parenting, thats as far as it gets
No offense intended but I don't think you really know what it is to raise kids in the real world. "That's as far as it gets" is very easy to say and much harder to enforce unless you are with them 24/7.
that was a lot nicer than what i was thinking...but i'm not about to ruin my perfect record around here with a nasty mod warning on a topic like this...0 -
Until they are 18 though, imo, always make sure they are going to bf/gf house when PARENTS ARE HOME. Call and ask to talk to a parent. They arent home? Then you aint going! Just the same with parties. Its shocking to me at times how little parents actually check up on things like that. If your worried about your kid getting preggers or w/e, just make sure they are not the only ones home. Its not that difficult
Dude, parents being home doesn't matter. I wasn't the sneakiest bad kid around, but even I figured out how to get around that. My first boyfriend and I had sex at my house, with my parents home, with my bedroom door open. So yeah. Kids are clever.
To answer the OP's question:
I don't have any kids. That being said, I don't think I'm going to limit dating experiences to an age. If my kids want to "date" while they are in elementary or middle school, whatever. Solo, real dates are going to depend on each kid, honestly. Have they proven themselves to be trustworthy? Do they seem to follow the rules that I have laid out for them? If so, then I don't really have a problem with them dating as soon as they can drive. If the kid is reckless and a ****face, then s/he can sit at home till they graduate high school.
All of that being said, I plan to have a detailed and comprehensive sex talk early - around age 8. I know that kids start having sex earlier and earlier. If you wait until they are 13, 14, 15 it may very well be too late. So I plan to sit 'em down around per-puberty. Let 'em know what all is going to be happening with their body soon. Let 'em know about sex, how to protect one's self, how it can change relationships, etc. I'd like for my kids to not have sex until they are out of high school. Maybe that won't happen. I plan on letting them know my expectations, but I'm still going to arm them with the information they will need to stay safe.
TL;DR = Dating age depends on the individual kid0 -
whenever they want really. having opposite sex interaction wouldnt hurt. plus it would make teens more relaxed when proper dating and now jump at their first date and have sex with them0
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What's that saying? "I was a great parent until I had kids." :laugh:
I know someone who says: "I had principles, now I have kids". 0 -
I let my daughter "date" at 15, but I had to take her/pick her up or her "date's parent had to pick her up. She wasn't allowed to go alone until she was able to drive herself.0
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I'm not a parent, but my parents wouldn't let me date til I was 16 and if I had a date, it had to be a double date. They would know my boyfriend, the couple we were going with, my bf's parents, they would have cell phone numbers of everyone and we would not be allowed to be by ourselves. And to be honest, I totally appreciate my parents stepping up and making sure nothing happens to me like on a date. More parents need to be like that!!!! 0
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changed my mind
once they have their doctorates0 -
changed my mind
once they have their doctorates
Hahah this made me literally LOL...my dad jokes around and says we can date at 30 and marry at 60 cause by then he'll be gone lol0 -
My daughter(who is FOUR mind you) contstantly wants to know when she can get married and have her babies(she calls them her honeys). It's adorable but I HATE that is what she is striving for.changed my mind
once they have their doctorates
Hahah this made me literally LOL...my dad jokes around and says we can date at 30 and marry at 60 cause by then he'll be gone lol
So last night she told me that she wanted to be a doctor, and I was pleased.
I want them to have real goals, so they aren't ever STUCK wondering why some things passed them by.0
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