What age is appropriate for you kid to start dating?
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Iamfit4life- That's crazy! I admit, I want to get married and start a family (but then again I'm 18, so its not unusual for me to think about that) but thats not all I'm thinking about.0
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I don't have kids. When I do, my opinion will probably change and I'll become one of those "NO DATING TILL YOU'RE 30!" type parents. The overly protective gene instantly hits you from the moment of their birth, I'm sure! hehe.
At age 14 I felt mature enough to start going on dates, especially with the beginning of high school nearing, and if my parents had tried to stop me, I probably would have anyway
Usually, no one gets into anything "serious" until they hit 16-18 anyway. At least from my personal experience, and also the same with friends.
So, whenever my future son/daughter wants to, basically. Within reason, of course. I'm not going to send out a couple of pre-teens on a date with no supervision - who would drive them anyway? :laugh:0 -
My hubby says when she is a 2nd degree black belt (she should have her first degree in about 6 months) We have talked about boys and such. At 12 she is not interested yet. Some of her friends "date", which she thinks is too much drama.0
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I have no kids yet, however age is just a number after all. I don't think there is an appropriate age since a 13 year old could be more mature than a 17 year old.
I think the best age is when your kids are old enough to be able to handle a relationship. My first kiss and date happened when i was 17, two months away from my 18th birthday.0 -
That's a tough question to answer. Kids know a lot more about the world around them at a young age these days. They often know a lot about the technical aspects of sex, drugs and rock n roll. What they don't know yet, is how to handle it emotionally. I don't know if we EVER really know. The 1st heartbreak is ALWAYS the worst. As we age we gather information on how to deal with life's roller coaster ride, we develop emotional security. A 10 yr old or even a 13 yr old has no idea what that is.
I find today's youth are conflicted and compromised at such an early age thanks to lower and lower TV, movie and gaming ratings, and lack of parental involvement. They are in such a hurry to grow up and gain control. It seems even as young as elementary school kids are wearing 'sexy' clothes. Yes .. make up, hair doos, high heels .. at 8 or 9 is just not MY idea of age appropriate. We seem to be developing into a 'sex is power' crazed society...and it's manifesting in our young.
What's wrong with encouraging kids to be kids. If a little girl has a little boy that she likes .. why do they even have to 'alone date' so to speak? Why can't they just hang out with their group of friends and consider THAT a date .. a 'group' date?
Knowing what these kids know about all the ways to get into trouble ... Remember, safety in numbers.0 -
:smooched: My oldest is 18, he started 'dating' when he was 16, my middle boy is almost 13 but he went to the cinema with a girl he was 'seeing' when he was 12, but in a larger group. My 8 year old, well he has his pick of the girls apparantly!:laugh:
That seems to be the way nowadays, when I was younger we never really hung about as mixed groups, but its more of a done thing now, larger groups of friends all go out together, some are paired up, others just friends.0 -
I think it depends on the child. When they are mature enough for a start, and understand the concepts of dating and relationships.0
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Thank you voice of reason! I always think when fathers say this that its creepy and sexist.As a 20 year old, really dating in my opinion, as a guy, shouldnt happen until 16, when you can drive yourself places. Anything before is just childish crushes, saying you are boyfriend and girlfriend, when you have only maybe held hands, never talk to eachother, whatever. Everything before, getting drove by your parents, etc is not only akward for the kids, but really akward for the parents too.
Note: This is coming from a serious place, not the whole irritating and annoying, my daughter is never gonna date because she is not allowed to have a life, or live in any fashion like a normal human being. I feel as though as soon as this reply posts there will be 5 people who said exactly that, but Im just saying, these people are being simply rediculous, and are not working to actually help the poster, they just think that joking about overparenting is cute.0 -
Actually going out on a date, I would say 9th grade (that's when our kids start high school) if it's a group thing, and 11th grade if it's just the two of them. But my son, who is now 7, has been saying every year since he started kindergarten that he has a "girlfriend", smh, so you can't really control them liking a friend they go to school with or whatever.0
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I'd say 14 to 15 in a group. 16 to 17 alone. I have a 16 year old daughter and that's what I (and her dad) let her do.......no trouble yet and she actually hasn't been on an alone date yet. My son is 13 and could care less about girls.0
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When they're ready. Every person (young or old) is different.
this0 -
When they're ready. Every person (young or old) is different.
this
I like this answer!
My daughter asked and was allowed to date when she was 13 or 14 I don't really remember which.0 -
When they're ready? we don't really have "dating" in Scotland, when you're like 8-12 you're kinda just like "oh yeah we're bf and gf" and you just hold hands and kiss and stuff, 13+ it's a mix of serious relationships, more silly hand holding/kissing for some people, a lot of people start having sex at 13/14/15 which I think is too young...
but yeah, we dont really have the whole going to the movies thang they have in other countries.
I think giving your child an age where they can "date" is dumb, because everyone else their age is probably "dating", and you can't decide for your kid when they're ready to start fancying people :L
I think my first "bf" was when I was 10...we went to mcdonalds. I got the bus all by myself. so romantic. Then I had a couple of boyfriends in 1st year of highschool where we like barely kissed :L and then I started "pulling" boys and gettin more serious at like 13/14. I had a 9 month relationship with a guy from sheffeild when I was 15 :L
anyway rambling here, but its essentially up to the kid to decide for themselves. sure step in if you think theyre being pressured into sex and stuff, but otherwise they'll probably date anyway and theres nothing you can do to stop them, you probably just push them into their bf/gfs arms if you tell them they cant date!0 -
also, a lot of people have been sayin stuff like "when they can drive themselves" "who would drive them if i said no?" and it's like...dyou not have buses? or legs? and what kids go on "dates" rather than just hanging out in parks or at each others houses or just in a group in the street or whatever :L I'm 19 ad have been on many dates, ones like those i just mentioned and some propper resturaunt/movie thingies, and I have never been driven there or back in my life...bus pass since I was 11 mate!0
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A lot of you probably wish I was your daughter then, haha. I didn't have my first boyfriend until 25. At 28 I still haven't actually gone on a real "date"
Not that I wasn't a completely and utterly rebellious high schooler (drugs, alcohol, etc), but in terms of dating, I sound like your ideal daughter :laugh:
I just didn't have time to date. I was interested in boys, but with my ridiculously busy schedule I wouldn't have had time to do anything. Maybe that's the key? Push your kid into so many activities they barely have time for homework let alone a boyfriend or girlfriend?0 -
I have 3 girls and one is 12 (13 in April). So I guess this'll come up in the not so distant future.
I would like to think there are two types of dating, the type that teens do, that is nothing too serious and the type that moves from boyfriend / girlfriend to sexual partners.
First BF/GF I am happy to support my daughter with lifts to venues etc from 14.. but I'd hope that sexually she has the self esteem not to move on further than this till she is much older. Times have changed so my own experiences are not relevant, I will have to see how things go and make sure she has the relevant protection and support if and when she needs it. My husband is around as he works from home so the opportunity at home is not there, and currently she doesn't go out and about to other places other than with her girlfriends on a sleepover or when I drop her shopping or to the cinema.0 -
Lots of different philosophies. I'm sure when my daughter is interested, it will be a different approach then what I would do now if she were thinking about it.0
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I think it depends on the child. When they are mature enough for a start, and understand the concepts of dating and relationships.
That rarely happens in adulthood .. nevermind childhood.
Is a parent naive enough to think THEY can judge exactly how their young'n is going to behave or get into when they are out of site ... I highly doubt it. All a parent has to go on is trust. Can a 10 yr or 13 yr or 16 yr old be trusted enough to not do anything they shouldn't be doing ? Do they tend to be leaders as opposed to followers. With all the stuff kids can get into (sex & drugs) that's a chance the parent has to be willing to take.0 -
I never thought I would worry about something like this, but shes so close to 17 and theres not even a remote interest in a boyfriend girlfreind relationship and Im worried. I wish she would give her self the opportunity to get to know boys. She is so harsh and finds flaws in all who are interested in her. Im afraid she will never find the perfect one.:ohwell: My family members tell me to back off because Im making things worse. My husband thinks its normal and is happy she has that attitude towards boys.0
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I never thought I would worry about something like this, but shes so close to 17 and theres not even a remote interest in a boyfriend girlfreind relationship and Im worried. I wish she would give her self the opportunity to get to know boys. She is so harsh and finds flaws in all who are interested in her. Im afraid she will never find the perfect one.:ohwell: My family members tell me to back off because Im making things worse. My husband thinks its normal and is happy she has that attitude towards boys.
You would rather her lower her standards just to date someone?
Be proud that you raised a daughter who knows what she's after. She will find the perfect one - eventually.
So what if she doesn't find a guy right now. She's 17 and in high school. Worry about it when she's closer to 40.0 -
I never thought I would worry about something like this, but shes so close to 17 and theres not even a remote interest in a boyfriend girlfreind relationship and Im worried. I wish she would give her self the opportunity to get to know boys. She is so harsh and finds flaws in all who are interested in her. Im afraid she will never find the perfect one.:ohwell: My family members tell me to back off because Im making things worse. My husband thinks its normal and is happy she has that attitude towards boys.
You would rather her lower her standards just to date someone?
Be proud that you raised a daughter who knows what she's after. She will find the perfect one - eventually.
So what if she doesn't find a guy right now. She's 17 and in high school. Worry about it when she's closer to 40.
"She will find the perfect one?" NEVER gonna happen.
Looking for perfection is why we have such a rediculously high divorce rate these days. Sure, you may find someone that you feel is close .. You THINK maybe they could use some work, and you might just be able to change them enough to be perfect or closer to it. Then as time goes on, you realize THIS is not the one for you because they just will not bend to your way of thinking .. and guess what .. it's splitsville. Time to move onto someone else.
THAT's the problem with a lot of so called 'relationships' these days. Instead of getting to know your potential partner, and accepting who they are and what they have to offer you .. there seems to be a idealistic approach to marriage, in that prospects are subject to easy manipulation.
I have often said, When offering a vow in marriage .. Instead of "Until death do us part" .. It should be "Until something better comes along".
This is not to say that we should 'settle' .. NOT even close. We should have and keep very high expectations .. but be realistic and weigh out the pros and cons. EVERYONE and I repeat .. EVERYONE has flaws and there are no guarantees. You have to take your chances like everyone else.0 -
son: 14-15
Daughter: 300 -
son: 14-15
Daughter: 30
lol at this0 -
Our daughter is not even here yet and it's already decided 35, at least.
She's never leaving the house either. Unless in a Halloween mask. If she looks like our son we're in trouble. Big blue eyes and blond curly, curly hair. I'm scared already.
Our son, well, he's already trying to kiss little girls so it's only a matter of time. I will tell him that if he has unprotected sex his willy will fall off though.
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I'm lucky to have boys, I say 16 and I intend to give them a lifetime supply of condoms. I hope they don't start young though. Love gets in the way of school and college and just ruins everything. I wish they would go to college, screw alot of different girls and truly settle down when they get it all out of their systems.0
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I never thought I would worry about something like this, but shes so close to 17 and theres not even a remote interest in a boyfriend girlfreind relationship and Im worried. I wish she would give her self the opportunity to get to know boys. She is so harsh and finds flaws in all who are interested in her. Im afraid she will never find the perfect one.:ohwell: My family members tell me to back off because Im making things worse. My husband thinks its normal and is happy she has that attitude towards boys.
You would rather her lower her standards just to date someone?
Be proud that you raised a daughter who knows what she's after. She will find the perfect one - eventually.
So what if she doesn't find a guy right now. She's 17 and in high school. Worry about it when she's closer to 40.
"She will find the perfect one?" NEVER gonna happen.
Looking for perfection is why we have such a rediculously high divorce rate these days. Sure, you may find someone that you feel is close .. You THINK maybe they could use some work, and you might just be able to change them enough to be perfect or closer to it. Then as time goes on, you realize THIS is not the one for you because they just will not bend to your way of thinking .. and guess what .. it's splitsville. Time to move onto someone else.
THAT's the problem with a lot of so called 'relationships' these days. Instead of getting to know your potential partner, and accepting who they are and what they have to offer you .. there seems to be a idealistic approach to marriage, in that prospects are subject to easy manipulation.
I have often said, When offering a vow in marriage .. Instead of "Until death do us part" .. It should be "Until something better comes along".
This is not to say that we should 'settle' .. NOT even close. We should have and keep very high expectations .. but be realistic and weigh out the pros and cons. EVERYONE and I repeat .. EVERYONE has flaws and there are no guarantees. You have to take your chances like everyone else.
Hmm. I feel completely the opposite. The divorce rate is so high these days because it's ridiculously easy to get a divorce now, and that wasn't always the case. There was a time when a judge wouldn't grant a divorce unless you could prove adultery or physical abuse, so people actually thought about whether or not they could deal with being with their intended spouse for the rest of their lives BEFORE they said "I do." Most people don't think about it that way anymore because they know all they have to do if they change their minds is check off "irreconcilable differences" and pay a fee.
Instead of changing the vows, people should just stop getting married until they're actually ready to follow through on those vows.
As for the subject at hand, I think 16 is a good age, but age is less important than whom they are with and what they are doing. ALWAYS ask and don't let your kids leave the house until you are satisfied with their answers.
And I must say, I am a bit dismayed by the difference in attitudes about boys and girls. The reason you have to be so careful with girls is because no one seems to care who or what their sons are doing.0 -
for my girls???? (they are 7, 5 and 5) NEVER!!!0
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bump0
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My step daughter is 14 and my husband and her mother allowed her to start "dating" this year as long as she kept her grades up, fortunately she hasn't kept her grades up so she's grounded
For my daughter she wont be dating until she's at least 16. 0 -
16. supervised or accept hormones to take control. Education in todays world is best.0
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