What age is appropriate for you kid to start dating?

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  • suzycreamcheese
    suzycreamcheese Posts: 1,766 Member
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    When they're ready. Every person (young or old) is different.

    this
  • mark03264
    mark03264 Posts: 334 Member
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    When they're ready. Every person (young or old) is different.

    this

    I like this answer!
    My daughter asked and was allowed to date when she was 13 or 14 I don't really remember which.
  • sexforjaffacakes
    sexforjaffacakes Posts: 1,001 Member
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    When they're ready? we don't really have "dating" in Scotland, when you're like 8-12 you're kinda just like "oh yeah we're bf and gf" and you just hold hands and kiss and stuff, 13+ it's a mix of serious relationships, more silly hand holding/kissing for some people, a lot of people start having sex at 13/14/15 which I think is too young...
    but yeah, we dont really have the whole going to the movies thang they have in other countries.

    I think giving your child an age where they can "date" is dumb, because everyone else their age is probably "dating", and you can't decide for your kid when they're ready to start fancying people :L

    I think my first "bf" was when I was 10...we went to mcdonalds. I got the bus all by myself. so romantic. Then I had a couple of boyfriends in 1st year of highschool where we like barely kissed :L and then I started "pulling" boys and gettin more serious at like 13/14. I had a 9 month relationship with a guy from sheffeild when I was 15 :L

    anyway rambling here, but its essentially up to the kid to decide for themselves. sure step in if you think theyre being pressured into sex and stuff, but otherwise they'll probably date anyway and theres nothing you can do to stop them, you probably just push them into their bf/gfs arms if you tell them they cant date!
  • sexforjaffacakes
    sexforjaffacakes Posts: 1,001 Member
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    also, a lot of people have been sayin stuff like "when they can drive themselves" "who would drive them if i said no?" and it's like...dyou not have buses? or legs? and what kids go on "dates" rather than just hanging out in parks or at each others houses or just in a group in the street or whatever :L I'm 19 ad have been on many dates, ones like those i just mentioned and some propper resturaunt/movie thingies, and I have never been driven there or back in my life...bus pass since I was 11 mate!
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
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    A lot of you probably wish I was your daughter then, haha. I didn't have my first boyfriend until 25. At 28 I still haven't actually gone on a real "date"

    Not that I wasn't a completely and utterly rebellious high schooler (drugs, alcohol, etc), but in terms of dating, I sound like your ideal daughter :laugh:

    I just didn't have time to date. I was interested in boys, but with my ridiculously busy schedule I wouldn't have had time to do anything. Maybe that's the key? Push your kid into so many activities they barely have time for homework let alone a boyfriend or girlfriend?
  • porffor
    porffor Posts: 1,212 Member
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    I have 3 girls and one is 12 (13 in April). So I guess this'll come up in the not so distant future.

    I would like to think there are two types of dating, the type that teens do, that is nothing too serious and the type that moves from boyfriend / girlfriend to sexual partners.
    First BF/GF I am happy to support my daughter with lifts to venues etc from 14.. but I'd hope that sexually she has the self esteem not to move on further than this till she is much older. Times have changed so my own experiences are not relevant, I will have to see how things go and make sure she has the relevant protection and support if and when she needs it. My husband is around as he works from home so the opportunity at home is not there, and currently she doesn't go out and about to other places other than with her girlfriends on a sleepover or when I drop her shopping or to the cinema.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,568 Member
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    Lots of different philosophies. I'm sure when my daughter is interested, it will be a different approach then what I would do now if she were thinking about it.
  • livnlite
    livnlite Posts: 520
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    I think it depends on the child. When they are mature enough for a start, and understand the concepts of dating and relationships.

    That rarely happens in adulthood .. nevermind childhood.

    Is a parent naive enough to think THEY can judge exactly how their young'n is going to behave or get into when they are out of site ... I highly doubt it. All a parent has to go on is trust. Can a 10 yr or 13 yr or 16 yr old be trusted enough to not do anything they shouldn't be doing ? Do they tend to be leaders as opposed to followers. With all the stuff kids can get into (sex & drugs) that's a chance the parent has to be willing to take.
  • criselia95
    criselia95 Posts: 18 Member
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    I never thought I would worry about something like this, but shes so close to 17 and theres not even a remote interest in a boyfriend girlfreind relationship and Im worried. I wish she would give her self the opportunity to get to know boys. She is so harsh and finds flaws in all who are interested in her. Im afraid she will never find the perfect one.:ohwell: My family members tell me to back off because Im making things worse. My husband thinks its normal and is happy she has that attitude towards boys.
  • Kalrez
    Kalrez Posts: 655 Member
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    I never thought I would worry about something like this, but shes so close to 17 and theres not even a remote interest in a boyfriend girlfreind relationship and Im worried. I wish she would give her self the opportunity to get to know boys. She is so harsh and finds flaws in all who are interested in her. Im afraid she will never find the perfect one.:ohwell: My family members tell me to back off because Im making things worse. My husband thinks its normal and is happy she has that attitude towards boys.

    You would rather her lower her standards just to date someone?

    Be proud that you raised a daughter who knows what she's after. She will find the perfect one - eventually.

    So what if she doesn't find a guy right now. She's 17 and in high school. Worry about it when she's closer to 40.
  • livnlite
    livnlite Posts: 520
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    I never thought I would worry about something like this, but shes so close to 17 and theres not even a remote interest in a boyfriend girlfreind relationship and Im worried. I wish she would give her self the opportunity to get to know boys. She is so harsh and finds flaws in all who are interested in her. Im afraid she will never find the perfect one.:ohwell: My family members tell me to back off because Im making things worse. My husband thinks its normal and is happy she has that attitude towards boys.

    You would rather her lower her standards just to date someone?

    Be proud that you raised a daughter who knows what she's after. She will find the perfect one - eventually.

    So what if she doesn't find a guy right now. She's 17 and in high school. Worry about it when she's closer to 40.

    "She will find the perfect one?" NEVER gonna happen.

    Looking for perfection is why we have such a rediculously high divorce rate these days. Sure, you may find someone that you feel is close .. You THINK maybe they could use some work, and you might just be able to change them enough to be perfect or closer to it. Then as time goes on, you realize THIS is not the one for you because they just will not bend to your way of thinking .. and guess what .. it's splitsville. Time to move onto someone else.

    THAT's the problem with a lot of so called 'relationships' these days. Instead of getting to know your potential partner, and accepting who they are and what they have to offer you .. there seems to be a idealistic approach to marriage, in that prospects are subject to easy manipulation.

    I have often said, When offering a vow in marriage .. Instead of "Until death do us part" .. It should be "Until something better comes along".

    This is not to say that we should 'settle' .. NOT even close. We should have and keep very high expectations .. but be realistic and weigh out the pros and cons. EVERYONE and I repeat .. EVERYONE has flaws and there are no guarantees. You have to take your chances like everyone else.
  • ilovedeadlifts
    ilovedeadlifts Posts: 2,923 Member
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    son: 14-15

    Daughter: 30
  • tkn11
    tkn11 Posts: 276 Member
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    son: 14-15

    Daughter: 30

    lol at this
  • Ashley_Panda
    Ashley_Panda Posts: 1,404 Member
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    Our daughter is not even here yet and it's already decided 35, at least.
    She's never leaving the house either. Unless in a Halloween mask. If she looks like our son we're in trouble. Big blue eyes and blond curly, curly hair. I'm scared already.

    Our son, well, he's already trying to kiss little girls so it's only a matter of time. I will tell him that if he has unprotected sex his willy will fall off though. :wink:
  • njean888
    njean888 Posts: 401 Member
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    I'm lucky to have boys, I say 16 and I intend to give them a lifetime supply of condoms. I hope they don't start young though. Love gets in the way of school and college and just ruins everything. I wish they would go to college, screw alot of different girls and truly settle down when they get it all out of their systems.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    I never thought I would worry about something like this, but shes so close to 17 and theres not even a remote interest in a boyfriend girlfreind relationship and Im worried. I wish she would give her self the opportunity to get to know boys. She is so harsh and finds flaws in all who are interested in her. Im afraid she will never find the perfect one.:ohwell: My family members tell me to back off because Im making things worse. My husband thinks its normal and is happy she has that attitude towards boys.

    You would rather her lower her standards just to date someone?

    Be proud that you raised a daughter who knows what she's after. She will find the perfect one - eventually.

    So what if she doesn't find a guy right now. She's 17 and in high school. Worry about it when she's closer to 40.

    "She will find the perfect one?" NEVER gonna happen.

    Looking for perfection is why we have such a rediculously high divorce rate these days. Sure, you may find someone that you feel is close .. You THINK maybe they could use some work, and you might just be able to change them enough to be perfect or closer to it. Then as time goes on, you realize THIS is not the one for you because they just will not bend to your way of thinking .. and guess what .. it's splitsville. Time to move onto someone else.

    THAT's the problem with a lot of so called 'relationships' these days. Instead of getting to know your potential partner, and accepting who they are and what they have to offer you .. there seems to be a idealistic approach to marriage, in that prospects are subject to easy manipulation.

    I have often said, When offering a vow in marriage .. Instead of "Until death do us part" .. It should be "Until something better comes along".

    This is not to say that we should 'settle' .. NOT even close. We should have and keep very high expectations .. but be realistic and weigh out the pros and cons. EVERYONE and I repeat .. EVERYONE has flaws and there are no guarantees. You have to take your chances like everyone else.

    Hmm. I feel completely the opposite. The divorce rate is so high these days because it's ridiculously easy to get a divorce now, and that wasn't always the case. There was a time when a judge wouldn't grant a divorce unless you could prove adultery or physical abuse, so people actually thought about whether or not they could deal with being with their intended spouse for the rest of their lives BEFORE they said "I do." Most people don't think about it that way anymore because they know all they have to do if they change their minds is check off "irreconcilable differences" and pay a fee.

    Instead of changing the vows, people should just stop getting married until they're actually ready to follow through on those vows.

    As for the subject at hand, I think 16 is a good age, but age is less important than whom they are with and what they are doing. ALWAYS ask and don't let your kids leave the house until you are satisfied with their answers.

    And I must say, I am a bit dismayed by the difference in attitudes about boys and girls. The reason you have to be so careful with girls is because no one seems to care who or what their sons are doing.
  • Legalchica
    Legalchica Posts: 462
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    for my girls???? (they are 7, 5 and 5) NEVER!!!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,568 Member
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    bump
  • ahsongbird
    ahsongbird Posts: 712 Member
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    My step daughter is 14 and my husband and her mother allowed her to start "dating" this year as long as she kept her grades up, fortunately she hasn't kept her grades up so she's grounded :) For my daughter she wont be dating until she's at least 16.
  • adross3
    adross3 Posts: 606 Member
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    16. supervised or accept hormones to take control. Education in todays world is best.

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