Finding it hard to stick to with unsupportive partner

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scrittenden
scrittenden Posts: 79 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Hi guys...

Sorry, i just need a bit of a rant lol..

I am trying my hardest to stick to my diet (my diary is open).. and to do my 300 cals worth of cardio every day.. But my bf has decided that if i do my Wii, then im being selfish for using the tv.. and he makes such a huge deal of eating what he wants infront of me..

Any advice on how to get him to understand? he just thinks its funny.
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Replies

  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
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    Not sure that there's much you can do to change him. The only thing you can change is yourself - specifically if you wish to continue to live with someone that doesn't respect positive changes you're incorporating into your life.
  • eillamarie
    eillamarie Posts: 862 Member
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    He's jealous that you're getting hotter by the second, & worried he's going to lose you. Or he's just a straight up jerk lol
  • netchik
    netchik Posts: 587 Member
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    Oh Honey, he is being an @ss. See how funny he finds it when you start to "withhold". When he is desperate, remind him about how he was an @ss with the Wii. If he doesn't like you not giving him what he wants, he'll let you work out all you want :)
  • scrittenden
    scrittenden Posts: 79 Member
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    We have a 1yr old daughter... so its not that simple.

    the frustrating thing is that he has a fatty liver, and has been told by the dr's he needs to do some serious weight loss or they are going to have to put him up for surgery.. he's just not taking any of it seriously
  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
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    Tell him he is hurting your feelings and that he's doing absolutely nothing to help you with your positive changes.

    If he doesn't stop this behavior I would take a serious look at your relationship.




















    Or you could donkey punch him in his sleep.
  • Jennloella
    Jennloella Posts: 2,286 Member
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    usually people that are being that mean to someone they are supposed to love just have their own issues, and it's unlikely you can fix those for him. If it's not possible to workout somewhere else where you can do it in peace, I'd just sit him down and let him know it hurts your feelings that he doesn't respect your lifestyle change...if he still doesn't care....then......:noway:
  • auntied
    auntied Posts: 113 Member
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    It's not funny he's controlling you! He is not a good boyfriend. DUMB HIM NOW! I"ve been there done that. Good luck
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    Pull the health card. Being overweight raises your risk of most major diseases and disorders. Does he REALLY want you to be unhealthy?It's hard to answer that "yes" and claim to care about someone.

    And why are you being more selfish by wanting to do the Wii than he is by wanting to watch a TV show? But if you hae the money and room, another TV would solve that problem.
  • Juliebean_1027
    Juliebean_1027 Posts: 713 Member
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    He's jealous that you're getting hotter by the second, & worried he's going to lose you. Or he's just a straight up jerk lol

    This. He's either jealous and worried, or he's just being a brat. I'm guessing he's worried. It's not about you being selfish and using the television, it's about him being concerned that other people are going to start noticing you, or worse, that you'll start noticing other people. He doesn't understand that you're doing this for you, not to get someone better than him. My guess is that he's insecure about his own physical appearances and doesn't know how to act about it. Hang in there and keep doing what you need to do for you!
  • believe22
    believe22 Posts: 210 Member
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    Once he sees your progress, he wont think its so funny anymore.
    You wont be able to change how he thinks. It sounds like maybe he has some self esteem issues and is worried about you losing weight, feeling & looking better and this is a coping mechanism for him. my best advice is to stick with it, push thru his negativity and keep your goal in mind.
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
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    is he the only man in your community? Just a thought- KICK HIS *kitten* TO THE CURB. you are either part of the solution or part of the problem and he does NOT sound like part of the solution.
    You'd be a LOT better off with a better, more supportive partner. AND you deserve it
    Upgrade, honey
  • asanchez0814
    asanchez0814 Posts: 3 Member
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    Do it anyway!!!! This change is for you to feel better about yourself, not for him. I've been in a relationship like this before and you have to stand up for yourself.......also, I LOVE the Wii fitness. :)
  • MissMaryMac33
    MissMaryMac33 Posts: 1,433 Member
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    He likes you the way you are and he's comfortable --- if you get all skinny and hot he's worried he'll lose you.

    Maybe you could start by seeing if he'll just go for a walk with you... share an ipod. Maybe he just wants you to involve him?

    If he still tries to sabotage you --- it might be time for a new boyfriend. Someone who loves you shold want the best for you -- and that includes your health.
  • afwg1979
    afwg1979 Posts: 170 Member
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    SABOTAGE: DAMAGE, DISRUPT, INTERFERE WITH, INTERRUPT, HARM, INCAPACITATE, IMPAIR, DISRUPT.

    Where do you draw the line?

    I would cut the ties.
  • VeganInTraining
    VeganInTraining Posts: 1,321 Member
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    Oh Honey, he is being an @ss. See how funny he finds it when you start to "withhold". When he is desperate, remind him about how he was an @ss with the Wii. If he doesn't like you not giving him what he wants, he'll let you work out all you want :)

    That is TERRIBLE advice LOL....I could never with hold, it's punishing both of us

    Seriously though, he's definitely being an @ss if he can't see that you are getting sexier for HIM (ok maybe you're doing it for you but make him feel like it's for him) then maybe it's time to be with someone who will appreciate your hard work. Don't let him take you for granted
  • H_Factor
    H_Factor Posts: 1,722 Member
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    I think you know that he's a selfish, rat bastich without any of us telling you that. although you have a child together, you have to decide if you're happier with him or happier without him. having a child grow up in an unhappy home isn't a good thing.

    oh, and maybe he'll read this blog of mine and the light bulb will go off:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/hmalin1/view/television-friend-or-foe-160676
  • NashvilleShelley
    NashvilleShelley Posts: 238
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    Ask him to do the wii with you. Maybe he feels left out.........
  • sjtreely
    sjtreely Posts: 1,014 Member
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    Gonna be blunt ... when you were younger and dreaming about what your boyfriend would be like, was flaunting food in front of you and demeaning your attempts to lose weight two attributes you were looking for?

    Adult behavior is very difficult to change. If the person doesn't want to change, then it's impossible. My money would be on him not changing. If that's okay with you, then stick with him.

    Is your boyfriend helping your become the best possible you? Answer the question honestly. If you like the answer, then enjoy your time with him.
  • fakeplastictree
    fakeplastictree Posts: 836 Member
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    My husband made the comment to me the other day, "youre going to leave me for some dude that's interested in fitness" I won't, but it would help if he would take at least a little bit of an interest.
  • sms1986
    sms1986 Posts: 113 Member
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    We have a 1yr old daughter... so its not that simple.

    the frustrating thing is that he has a fatty liver, and has been told by the dr's he needs to do some serious weight loss or they are going to have to put him up for surgery.. he's just not taking any of it seriously

    I'm not a medical expert, but perhaps he's in denial about his own problems, and therefore is trying to shift any attention from his problems to yours. His behaviour is obviously unacceptable, but I think it would help if he was made to realise that he too has problems and needs to be doing what you are doing, losing weight.

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