Dating! EEEK!

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Replies

  • kmaloz
    kmaloz Posts: 12
    He is being so much more than polite! Obviously you have such a glowing and vibrant personality (which seems to go with your picture- you look so happy!!) that you stimulated something in him that made him so excited to go out with you again. This is your time for fun! Don't play too hard though. ^_- Good luck babe
  • grumpymoo
    grumpymoo Posts: 64
    Oh I hope so momathome and ynot, and everybody!

    I guess now I just hope that I don't mess things up too badly. But he is lovely. He sends me these great little text messages, nothing earth shattering, just to let me know he is thinking of me. I never had anything like this with my ex-husband, he was 23 years older than me and completely unable to show emotion. well, except displeasure.:explode:

    All I have to do now is tread that fine line between letting him know I'm still interested and the whole scary stalker thing!! :laugh: :laugh:

    That is potentially more a minefield than anything else. He's already said that if i hadn't been so persistant we would never have met, and I don't want him to feel pressured. Argh It's all so complicated! :sad:

    But thanks to all of you I feel i can 'get a grip' and just let myself BE myself and see what happens!

    Watch this space folks! I may not post regularly but I'll try and keep you guys up to date (hee hee Pun intended:heart: )

    All the best,
    Coralie
    :flowerforyou:
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,422 Member
    Yay! I'm glad to hear you are so happy! That's terrific news. Have fun with him.

    Cheryl :flowerforyou:
  • grumpymoo
    grumpymoo Posts: 64
    Thank you Cheryl. I will certainly try! :flowerforyou:

    Although it is kind of hard to just have fun, as I seem to be becoming addicted to his text messages!:laugh:
    Hopefully the novelty will wear of soon and I will no longer be hanging over my phone waiting for it to beep. And then there is the worrying over whether he has got my message or not or if he is just ignoring it!!! :laugh: :laugh:

    Things were soooo much simpler when all we had were phones in the house and letters!

    :heart:
  • cp005e
    cp005e Posts: 1,495 Member
    Hi Coralie - I just got caught up and am so glad that things are going well! :happy:

    I just wanted to point out one thing:
    I guess now I just hope that I don't mess things up too badly.

    HEY! :angry: It takes 2 to tango, you know... it sounds like your self-esteem might be getting in the way a little bit. You seem like a very nice and sweet person. Sometimes things don't work out - any time you're talking about relationships, it's going to be complicated. But I hate to see you backhandedly undermining yourself with that sort of self-defeating attitude. Instead of worrying that your going to "mess things up", try to just think about getting to know him better and being honest with yourself (and with him, of course). Tell that little self-doubting voice to shut up for a bit! :laugh:

    Good luck! :flowerforyou:

    Chris
  • Cowboy
    Cowboy Posts: 369 Member
    Yee HAW!!! Good for you both!
    Hey if the guy is texting you that much, you can bet he is interested.
    I agree...you need to stop letting your self-doubts try to sabotage what could be a great friendship.
    You hang in there...besides he already told you he thinks you're cute (okay, his reference was to a certain part of you that's cute, but stil...it counts!)
    You definitely have to keep us all up to date.
    Cowboy
  • grumpymoo
    grumpymoo Posts: 64
    Hi. Quick update!

    Am going for second date tommorrow hopefully, all being well.

    And I can't wait!! Have had soooo many sleepless nights this week! :yawn:

    I may just expire from frustration if he cancels! :tongue:

    Hope you all out there are ok. Take care now,
    :heart: :heart:
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,422 Member
    don't forget to eat! .....and sleep.......ah, well, maybe next week. :tongue:

    ~Cheryl
  • grumpymoo
    grumpymoo Posts: 64
    Thanks Cheryl.

    Umm, the guy. Well Date 2 was supposed to be today but as I haven't heard from him in while I guess that's another one to chalk up to experience.

    Still the day is young yet (well, here it is at least!) and I'll give him a while yet before writing him off for good! I'm nothing if not patient and he's already said I'm persistant.

    :grumble:

    So I will send him a text message in a bit and see what's going on.

    Hope you all have a great day out there losing weight and being happy!!

    :heart: :heart: :heart:
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,422 Member
    Yes, dear - it is 12:34 AM here in Seattle, WA in the U.S. of A. I see you are in England. You can always message us in between stressin' about him messaging you......if that makes any sense? There is always someone on here at all hours.

    I just sat down with a glass of Cabernet. I had a day of way too much food.....It was a bit stressful for me today. I had a really early doctor appointment, and I'm not a morning person. Then of course I sit and wait over an hour to see the doctor. Geez, I coulda slept another HOUR :laugh: .

    Then more drama with my homeowners association here (I'm on the Board at our condo). They all need to take a bit of Cabernet with their morning tea. :grumble:

    I hope you won't worry too much about the guy. Maybe he just got busy. I'm sure you'll hear from him at some point. Don't sit by the phone waiting, though! Fill your time and live your life to the fullest with or without him.

    Talk to you later.

    ~Cheryl
  • UpDownMostly
    UpDownMostly Posts: 18
    :flowerforyou:

    I'm soooo glad someone out there was listening!

    I know I sound like a big sook, but this whole dating thing is such a nightmare. I have always been shy and after I got married I didn't really have to try and change that, so now I am just this big ol' mess of low selfesteem and inadequacy!! Nothing much! LOL

    I sometimes think I have become the size I am in order to keep people at arms length. So much easier than changing my personality, eh?:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    So....sigh.... I guess I'm just going to have to plaster over the 'cracks' in my personality and just hope for the best!

    Maybe after awhile I may find the cracks have sealed themselves up and I can stop plastering?????

    Well, heres hoping!
    :blushing:

    Oh boy I can relate to the whole putting on weight to keep people away comment. Yes, it's going to be quite scary. I've been married 30 years and I'm not sure what I'd do if I had to think about dating. You've obviously found some common ground chatting on line. Don't push expectations on the first meeting. People often get in trouble with relationships by having an expectation that's not communicated to the other person and then people get hurt because expectations are not met. Just be yourself, be honest and open and I think you'll do fine.

    Good luck
  • UpDownMostly
    UpDownMostly Posts: 18
    Bah sorry just read the whole thread, didn't realize there was a page 2. Sigh. Anyhow, again, I think it's expectations. Don't put too much expectations on getting to know someone. If you have been living alone and he's been living alone for some time, it is a real adjustment to start thinking in terms of another person. It's even scarier thinking of letting them in to your personal world. So just take it slow and if it's good it's good and if not, there's always other fishes in the sea. :)

    Tim
  • catlover
    catlover Posts: 389
    It's morning here for some of us on the west coast of America and we still don't know....did he or didn't he.....call I mean and follow through on the second date. :happy:
  • grumpymoo
    grumpymoo Posts: 64
    Hurrah! Thanks everyone, we DID get to date 2.:smooched:

    By the skin of his teeth! (Urg that sounds horrible) He hadn't got my messages from yesterday till this morning. Silly boy. So there I was panicing thinking 'Oh well, never see him again!' and it turns out he's just a little dippy when it comes to replying to text messages. :grumble: But he was really apologetic about it fortunately, I can't stand rudeness, in any form!

    We went and had a lovely cup of coffee again, no lunch, so very hungry when I got home (it's 4pm here) from picking the kids up.

    So now I'm in the thoroes of proper panic thinking of date 3 and what if he kisses me! My ex never liked it and it's been over 4 years since I kissed anyone but my kids! And well let's face it, it just doesn't compare really!:laugh:

    I am just going to go with the flow and see what happens. I'll leave my emotional baggage firmly at home where it belongs and pretend to be brave for a bit! :laugh:

    Hopefully all will turn out well. Well it will if I can tie up the old pessimistic half of me and go out with him and let the optimistic bit have a go.

    I'm so screwed, can you be a pessimistic optimist??

    Thank you to Tim for his really good insightful male perspective. I think I could do with an insight into the male mind to see how to go from here.:laugh: :laugh:

    Have a great day out there!
    :heart:
  • LightenUp_Caro
    LightenUp_Caro Posts: 572 Member
    Congrats on everything!
    He sounds likes he's great! Keep it up for date 3 (and the kiss!)!!!
    ...i love that feeling of falling for someone.
    you're so lucky!:happy: :happy:
  • auntkaren
    auntkaren Posts: 1,490 Member
    I have read everything on here and now I am all excited for you:bigsmile: I bet you now wonder why you were so worried. It has been years since a date, and I know I would be a wreck too. :blushing: So how did it go for you?
  • auntkaren
    auntkaren Posts: 1,490 Member
    I have read everything on here and now I am all excited for you:bigsmile: I bet you now wonder why you were so worried. It has been years since a date, and I know I would be a wreck too. :blushing: So how did it go for you?
    I didn't see the second page:embarassed: It sounds absolutely wonderful, He really likes you and he should. You are a very pretty girl and need to stop kicking yourself around. You have a very nice personality and I am sure he sees all those quilities in you as well.:love: I love happy endings, maybe let us know how the second date goes.........have a great day:smile:
  • momathome
    momathome Posts: 72
    I am so excited for you!!! It is like I am dating all over again...LOL I think going with the flow is good just see where it takes you. Just go have fun and just think if this isn't "the one" it is just getting you ready for "the one". He sounds really nice and can't wait to hear about date #3

    Traci
  • nicole777
    nicole777 Posts: 16 Member
    i've been with my husband for five years but we've only been married 5 months. i know he loves me alot but i've gained 10 lbs in the last year and i feel so unattractive. i always see him looking at skinny girls and he always says he likes me the way i am but i think hes more attracted to skin and bone girls.
  • bkrbabe57
    bkrbabe57 Posts: 395 Member
    Congrats on date 2.:blushing:
    I have also gotten caught up in the thread.
    As far as Kissing is concerned - it's like dancing let him lead and like riding a bike, you never really forget.
    Keep us up to date.
    :happy:
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,422 Member
    Bah sorry just read the whole thread, didn't realize there was a page 2. Sigh. Anyhow, again, I think it's expectations. Don't put too much expectations on getting to know someone. If you have been living alone and he's been living alone for some time, it is a real adjustment to start thinking in terms of another person. It's even scarier thinking of letting them in to your personal world. So just take it slow and if it's good it's good and if not, there's always other fishes in the sea. :)

    Tim

    I agree with Coralie, our pretty dating lady! I think women are just as baffled by men as I am sure men are baffled by women! I'm divorced for 20 years, and I don't really want to marry again, but it is great to have a male point-of-view on the endless dance we do.

    Good luck, pretty blonde lady. We are sending positive energy across the pond for you!

    ~Cheryl
  • grumpymoo
    grumpymoo Posts: 64
    i've been with my husband for five years but we've only been married 5 months. i know he loves me alot but i've gained 10 lbs in the last year and i feel so unattractive. i always see him looking at skinny girls and he always says he likes me the way i am but i think hes more attracted to skin and bone girls.

    I think you sound a lot like me! Trust and faith are two of the hardest things to learn in life. We seem to have them instinctively as children but sadly once we unlearn them as adults it can be almost impossible to gain them back again.

    I'm just learning, thanks to my yummy man, Jon (umm can I say that at only date 2??:laugh: ), to pretend to having the trust thing till the real thing comes along. It seems to be working so far! :blushing:

    Just keep in mind also that while he may look at others (and sadly we all seem to do this!) he is actually with YOU. Admit it, men are nuts and contrary and sooo annoying at times but he must see something in you to want to be with you!

    Chin up. I think you sound lovely.
    :flowerforyou:
  • grumpymoo
    grumpymoo Posts: 64
    i've been with my husband for five years but we've only been married 5 months. i know he loves me alot but i've gained 10 lbs in the last year and i feel so unattractive. i always see him looking at skinny girls and he always says he likes me the way i am but i think hes more attracted to skin and bone girls.

    I think you sound a lot like me! Trust and faith are two of the hardest things to learn in life. We seem to have them instinctively as children but sadly once we unlearn them as adults it can be almost impossible to gain them back again.

    I'm just learning, thanks to my yummy man, Jon (umm can I say that at only date 2??:laugh: ), to pretend to having the trust thing till the real thing comes along. It seems to be working so far! :blushing:

    Just keep in mind also that while he may look at others (and sadly we all seem to do this!) he is actually with YOU. Admit it, men are nuts and contrary and sooo annoying at times but he must see something in you to want to be with you!

    Chin up. I think you sound lovely.
    :flowerforyou:
  • grumpymoo
    grumpymoo Posts: 64
    [[/quote]

    I agree with Coralie, our pretty dating lady! I think women are just as baffled by men as I am sure men are baffled by women! I'm divorced for 20 years, and I don't really want to marry again, but it is great to have a male point-of-view on the endless dance we do.

    Good luck, pretty blonde lady. We are sending positive energy across the pond for you!

    ~Cheryl
    [/quote]

    Thank you for the positive energy. I got it this morning with the post ! :laugh: Very efficient postal service across the pond!

    And thank you for the lovely comments, you've been so helpful and supportive, it has really meant so much to me to hear from everyone, and I hope in a small way that there are others out there reading this post and taking heart from it too! Just as much as I have. :flowerforyou:

    :blushing:

    Am off now to get the kids to school, and I'll let you all know how the ....kiss (gulp!)....goes !
    :heart:
  • kimd983
    kimd983 Posts: 39
    good luck to you and you already got past the hardest part of the gettting a date with this guy right?
    did he see a picture of you? I bet he sees your beauty and not the extra pounds.

    when i met my husband i was 35 lbs heavier than him and hated it. I hear you on that, but he never saw my weight. He loved me after the first date, and it took ME much longer to love him the way he loved me.

    WHO knows, you may be getting a marraige proposal tonight when you thought you were self conscience about yourself. You may not like how SKINNY he is. ha ha

    just go with an open mind and enjoy!!!!! tell him to order the chicken pot pie and bulk up a bit! haha
  • kimd983
    kimd983 Posts: 39
    ahhh i wasn't aware this date 1 and date 2 already happened. :) good for you!!!!! i will read the ENTIRE post from now on! hahaahahaha
    signed
    embarrassed newbie
  • kimd983
    kimd983 Posts: 39
    ahhh i wasn't aware this date 1 and date 2 already happened. :) good for you!!!!! i will read the ENTIRE post from now on! hahaahahaha
    signed
    embarrassed newbie
  • DaniUSA
    DaniUSA Posts: 74
    I just read the thread in total, didnt saw it before.. its soo sweet.

    and a little bit like soap opera..but in a good way :)

    good luck for date 3!!
  • jaxkipi
    jaxkipi Posts: 233
    Remember to always be honest. I went out on a blind date and lied about my weight once. I got what I deserved. I have a friend who tells guys the truth and doesn't have any probs. If he doesn't like you because you have some extra pounds, then he's not worth it. To me a person like that is superficial. What's important here is that you are comfortable with the date and yourself. If he doesn't like it...time to look elsewhere. Plus, you're working on being healthier. He should respect that.

    Have fun! :flowerforyou:
  • grumpymoo
    grumpymoo Posts: 64
    ahhh i wasn't aware this date 1 and date 2 already happened. :) good for you!!!!! i will read the ENTIRE post from now on! hahaahahaha
    signed
    embarrassed newbie

    Don't worry about it! And thank you for all your lovely positive comments!
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