Men...... Grrrrrr

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  • wannababyH
    wannababyH Posts: 106
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    Obvious troll is obvious.
  • Bahet
    Bahet Posts: 1,254 Member
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    I'm about to partake in reading this entire thread because I'm thoroughly confused by the OP. A guy says you look good and wants to be with you so you binge? And it's his fault?

    Huh?

    I'm obviously missing something.
    No, you're not missing anything. That's pretty much it.
  • Bahet
    Bahet Posts: 1,254 Member
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    Don't agree with number 3 - maybe it is just wisdom learned over my 54 years but I learned a long time ago to never assume I was in a realtionship with someone just by the way they act. To me you are setting yourself up to hear "Well I didn't know you thought we were exclusively dating"

    That is why the word "assume" didn't appear anywhere in my post. I'm not a third-grader. I don't need a guy to pass me a note that says "check yes or no" to figure out that he wants to be with me exclusively.

    Is he seeing you and only you? Are you seeing him and only him?
    Are you an integral part of his life? (That means: Does he have daily contact with you? Does he voluntarily let you know what he's got going on, or do you have no clue what he's doing when he's not within your sight? Does he spend more of his free time with you than with anyone else? Do his friends and family know who you are?) Is he an integral part of YOUR life?

    If you answered yes to those questions, you're in a relationship. If you answered no to any of them, you are not in a relationship. This is not that complicated.
    Well, actually, according to that set of rules I wasn't in a relationship with my husband of 18 years for the past 9 months while he was in Afghanistan. We didn't have daily contact. He spent no time at all with me. His friends and coworkers there know I exist but that's about it. He also intentionally avoided letting me know a lot about what he had going on so I did have no clue. In fact, aside from the fact that we weren't dating anyone else we failed all of your questions. ;)

    (just picking at you. Had to be done, couldn't resist. At least I didn't binge on Butterfingers for 5 days and blame you for it right? :laugh: )
  • sirmio
    sirmio Posts: 44 Member
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    A few things came to mind from reading this thread ...

    1. Am I the only female who thinks it's NOT wrong for a man to be more attracted to you when you're no longer overweight? Isn't that just human nature?

    I'm not a female, but I am baffled by this too. Did you find yourself attractive and sexy with great self esteem before you lost the weight? If not, why should I have? I like curves on women, but I find obesity in either gender to be very unattractive. Sure, your personality can make up for it, but don't pretend like physical attraction isn't important either.
  • erinrose07
    erinrose07 Posts: 140
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    Sounds to me like you were trying to sabotage a chance for happiness or possibly just sabotage a compliment by ruining your progress. I used to do this and it seems a bit familiar. Try accepting something good in your life....even if it's just a compliment and not a relationship
  • writtenINthestars
    writtenINthestars Posts: 1,933 Member
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    Men are not the issue here.

    Sabotaging yourself and then putting the blame elsewhere will get you no where.

    Do NOT be afraid to be happy or afraid to accept a compliment!
  • Mallory0418
    Mallory0418 Posts: 723 Member
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    *SIGH*....Poor guys. I don't even know how to respond to this non-logic...
  • Bahet
    Bahet Posts: 1,254 Member
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    *SIGH*....Poor guys. I don't even know how to respond to this non-logic...
    3 pints of Ben & Jerry's and a Big Mac?

    :laugh:
  • Phoenix24601
    Phoenix24601 Posts: 620 Member
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    Can reading this entire post count for my activity for the day? Cause my poor brain was definitly doing somersaults.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    demotivation.us_Womens-logic-If-you-like-it-you-are-pervert-if-you-do-not-like-it-you-are-GAY.jpg
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
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    *SIGH*....Poor guys. I don't even know how to respond to this non-logic...

    Well lets see you are beautiful and skinny and I am jealous... OH SNAP I just said nice things about you.. I bet your diary is going to be BAD tonight!
  • Mallory0418
    Mallory0418 Posts: 723 Member
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    *SIGH*....Poor guys. I don't even know how to respond to this non-logic...
    3 pints of Ben & Jerry's and a Big Mac?

    :laugh:

    ....oh you. Yes, and a peanut butter cup just to show him who's boss.
  • Mallory0418
    Mallory0418 Posts: 723 Member
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    *SIGH*....Poor guys. I don't even know how to respond to this non-logic...

    Well lets see you are beautiful and skinny and I am jealous... OH SNAP I just said nice things about you.. I bet your diary is going to be BAD tonight!

    Great, now it's going to be another one of those mystery days where no one will ever know what happened to me after lunch...thanks. :wink:
  • Phroggygirl1
    Phroggygirl1 Posts: 38
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    From what I know of him and his family, drugs and alcohol abuse had been an issue. He still has problems, and I think that I would be the "Girlfriend" but not an intrical part of his day. I honestly think he is in love with the idea of love. He is recently out of a long relationship, they were engaged and she left him.

    So it isn't so much that he is into me or that I WAS into him. It is that I don't want to hurt him whan (and trust me it would happen) I broke up with him.

    I have never been confident with myself as a bigger girl, but I have noticed my body change with the loss that I have had and yes my confidence is growing, but I believe that I need to become reaquainted with myself and enjoy what free time I do have to myself.

    I have longed for so long to always have someone around that it lead to MANY very unhealthy relationships and they all ended badly. Including one marriage. So time to myself and time to learn me is a MUST.

    The eating binge was an emotional break down of realization, and I could not handle that stress alone. I did not and possibly could not face what I was dealing with and out of habit went to what I did know, food. It didn't help like it used to.

    The men... grrr title is because most of the emotional stress I have dealt with in the last 2 1/2 years are MALE induced. It is my generalization, I guess the more appropriate title would have been.... Food.... grrr... ?? I have no clue.....

    And I am not lonely, I am too busy to be lonely. I work full time, go to school full time(pursuing 2 degrees), and am active in my church. I will make time for the right man, but I will not settle for the first guy who thinks that I am looking good since lossing weight.

    Please accept my appology for not making sense, I am not crazy or what ever other words were used.

    So again for not making sense I am SORRY.

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