Couples who dont fight.
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I've been married to my (second) husband for 12.5 years, and we've had actual disagreements less than a dozen times... mostly the first few years, ALL over his daughter! *sigh*I have been with my husband 11 years and married for nearly 8. We rarely argue, certainly not in the last few years. I would leave if we argued. I had that in a previous marriage, and I hated it. I am an adult, I can discuss differences in a calm way, i don't need to shout or be shouted at. If I don't agree with my oh or he doesn't agree with me so what? We are capable of doing things together or separately or arriving at a compromise We love and respect each other. He has never raised his voice to me nor his fist, and has never sworn at me or called me a bad name!. I have a healthy happy marriage.
We have different opinions, but we discuss things. We disagree about some things, so we decide how to handle them.
My first marriage was nothing but arguments. Mostly because there was a lot of power/control issues going on. My DH and I do not have control issues - we are a partnership.0 -
My husband and I never fought,ever the first few years of our marriage,, no red flags , we just usually agreed on most things. then we had twins.. a toddler, and homeschooling 2 older children, that equals a very exhausted mommy and daddy. neither us were sleeping more than an hour a night for almost a year. and we were having money stresses. we began fighting like cats and dogs... then we went through another season were we rarely fought .. then another season where we were under a tremendous amount of stress and naturally began arguing.. all marriages go through stages.. eventually there will be disagreements.. that is just natural. it is how you handle them that counts. we will be married 13 years in Feb. we are closer now and more in love than the day we married, we've also been through a lot together and that has created a deeper connection..0
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Ive had people tell me my marriage is weird and unhealthy because my hubby and i never argue...it really had me worried for a while...but, we are best friends we communicate ALL the time, we have all the love in the world for eachother and genuinely love eachothers company, also, we have been together for nearly 10 years now (since we were 15) so SURELY we must be doing something right!!!!!!
everyone is different!!! but i wouldnt replace my good times with hubby for arguements ect just so people dont think we are weird..( it got to the point where i would tell friends we had an arguement just to shut them up!!!!! now i simply dont give a crap, they must be jealous!!! ;D ) 0 -
My husband and I have been together for 10.5 years and we don't fight. Something sits wrong with one of us, we talk about it, we reach a decision and that's it. No fight needed. We respect each other. That's what works for us. It's not for everyone.
My in-laws have been married for a gazillion years and they fuss and carry on constantly. They respect each other. That's what works for them. It's not for us.
To each their own.0 -
A relationship in which you don't fight? Yeah, only if you're Cinderella.
Really, I don't think that could exist because there is a healthy amount of fighting that is going to go on in any relationship, friendship, or even with family. Because no two people are exactly the same, there will always be a time when things will conflict. I actually have been in a relationship were my boyfriend and I didn't fight, because I was too afraid to say what I wanted to say, so now I see fighting (not all-out punching and abuse, but heated discussion and confrontation) as a good thing!0 -
My boyfriend and I don't argue or fight.
Not saying we don't get irritated with one another, but we don't fight.
That's me and my wife too.
ditto..0 -
I think there's a difference between having a disagreement and having a verbal fight (i.e. argument). It's totally normal to have never had a fight with your mate while having had several disagreements, IMHO.0
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I was with my ex for five years and we didn't really fight. We were both kind of laid back people that pick our battles. We'd have a disagreement here and there but no name calling or yelling or anything like that. But then he's my ex so...
Still, I think the type of each person counts. Some people don't have a short fuse and are good at diffusing tension. Others do but somehow it works anyway. Meh. I've learned a long time ago to just worry about my own relationships and not about other peoples'.0 -
This is just my opinion. A good healthy argument never hurt anyone. I think it is vital in a relationship. It helps us learn about each other and grow in our relationship.0
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As much as I would love to not fight with my fiance, I like argueing. I've always liked argueing.
You know, it's not throwing lamps at each other fighting but it's, "Why can't you wash your dish like a normal person? Or at least rinse it so I don't have to scrub dried peanut butter off!" Admittedly, it used to be worse and some lamps have been thrown but we've worked out some kinks in the relationship and it's a lot better now, haha. Lamps are safe 0 -
We had a fight earlier today, but made up about 10 minutes later. I think how quickly you resolve your issues is a pretty good indicator of the health of the relationship. We're about to hit 3 years, have been living together a little over 1, and are super happy.0
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I was recently having a conversation with a friend about a small fight my boyfriend and I had over the weekend. It was silly but necessary, we heard each other out, apologized and moved on.
She was alarmed-- "You've only been together a few months! You guys fight?!"
Yep. We do. Infrequently, and usually they're pretty short-lived but we definitely have arguments.
She proceeded to tell me "Well, me and Hubby never fight. I don't know what I'd do if we had arguments like that."
Really? Never? Are there couples that dont fight at least on occasion? To me that sounds like a red flag. Maybe because my previous relationship was spent, on my part, by walking on eggshells so we Nevermind fought either.
My relationship is the healthiest and happiest I've ever had-- I think arguing is good for us every now and then. Couples who never fight worry me.
I'm interested to know what you guys think.
I think I have a very healthy relationship, and we seldom 'fight' .. practically never .. but we do argue and express (sometimes quite loudly) a difference of opinion...that to me is slightly different than a 'fight'. There are time when we just aggravate each other, for various reason, and 'get into' it about it. Nothing serious, just clearing the air.
We used to fight, years back when we were first married and when our children were much younger. Then we kinda grew out of it. There are just times when we come to an impasse, and we just have to agree to disagree.
I don't think I have EVER come across anyone who says they NEVER argue or have a cross word with their partner. I find that peculiar .. but, even more peculiar is her surprise that other couples (like yourself) have arguments. Now, I find THAT particularly strange.0 -
mY HUSBAND & I HAVE BEEN together for 8 yrs. I think it is healthy to argue, we rarely argue bc we talk about everything. We have our disagreements.0
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There is a woman in this thread that states that she does not fight with hER man. I believe every single word of that. The reason I believe her?
She fights with way too many strangers on the internet that she doesn't have the energy to fight at home!0 -
How do you not see what I am saying? You say that ANYONE who doesn't fight, that's a red flag. But that is simply not true. You are just trying to apply your own experience to EVERYONE. This thread is ludicrous. You change your story every time you post something.
Not sure at one point I announced that all people and couples must be identical, but draw your own conclusion I guess.
You're acting the same way though. I don't appreciate you telling me that it's a red flag to not have fights. Might be true for you, but that doesn't make it true for me. Why can't you just accept that people are all different?
When I told her we fought on occasion you would have thought I'd confessed to being behind 9/11. I think she secretly wanted to sneak me into a battered women's shelter.Hardly ever. People who get up in my business and tell me how my relationship should work, that bugs the crap out of me.
I stated my reason for thinking not fighting was a red flag. And I know we are all different-- thats why I asked.
FOR SOMEONE WHO NEVER FIGHTS WITH THEIR SPOUSE, YOU SURE DO IRRITATE A LOT OF PEOPLE AROUND HERE!!! HOLY CRAP.
My ex husband and I rarely fought, we kinda muddled through until I had enough. I want to be in a relationship with passion and with passion come a few heated discussions. Its perfectly acceptable to have a disagreement/fight/words/bickering match with your spouse. and its fine the other way as well.
Where is the 'red flag' comment?
I got into a 'tiff' with my SO last night, we were grumpy, we talked and by the end of the evening we were laughing and having fun. This is real life. People don't always get along. My ex and I would have gone to bed angry and we eventually grew apart.
No one has singled you out ER, you did that to yourself. The OP was getting something off her chest, not attacking you or your relationship.0 -
My ex husband and I never fought, but it was because we didn't communicate....
We are now divorced.
My current boyfriend and I have had some pretty intense fights/arguments, and we worked through them. We have a much stronger relationship because of it.
People who don't fight are ignoring issues and not dealing with them.
Agreed!0 -
People who don't fight are ignoring issues and not dealing with them.
But you are assuming there are issues. What if two people are just blissfully existing in each others company. I have only ever had maybe 2 arguments with my husband (not including debating current affairs etc but that's just ordinary conversation, not a fight by any means).
I don't think I have a right to judge other peoples' relationships but I think I am the only person with the right to judge my own. I think we are both just very laid back and very suited to each other.
For example, I've watched couples argue over chores - for us, if one of us doesn't do the chore, the other will. We are both busy people and we have a mutual respect for that. It usually works out about even and we never even give it a second thought. Does that make my relationship unhealthy? I've also watched couples argue over going out with friends - we both set aside time to spend together but we both also go out with our own. friends. We don't ask permission in advance and we don't feel the need to apologise for this. Does that make our relationship unhealthy? I've seen couples argue over how they spend their money. We share all of our money (even though we do not get paid the same amount) and we do not always spend equally. We are both sensible with money and we respect each others ability to make decisions about necessary purchases or priorities for our money so we do not have a need to argue about it. Does that make my relationship unhealthy?
I guess all I am saying is that it is very likely that no relationship is exactly like another relationship. You haven't lived my relationship so how can you possibly know that it is unhealthy?0 -
My fiancé and I don't fight, but that's not to say that we don't disagree. If we disagree, we discuss it because we communicate well, but it remains a discussion and not a fight because one of us is "right". I'm sure we eventually will have an argument that we're unwilling to let go because it's important, but I'm confident that we'll deal with that kind of stuff in the right way. We respect the other person's opinions and each other as individuals, plus the fact that we get along so well
There's nothing wrong with "fighting" as long as you look at it as a way to reach a positive ending, abusive (verbally, etc) fighting isn't beneficial to anyone.0 -
My partner and I barely ever fight, only when we are really stressed out.0
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Besides...MAKE UP SEX duh..... i like some fights just because of it
defo worth a fight me and my boyfriend dont fight as such we have disagreements work through them and carry on with life... i defonatly wont go to bed angry as i can be a big ***** if i do 
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that's weird if couples don't fight, I just don't see how that's a healthy relationship. No two people can have a great friendship/relationship romantic or not and not have any kind of discord at all. my parents are knocking on 30years and they argue sometimes. If there's no arguing, someone is sacrificing a lot of themselves to keep the relationship argue free0
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Some people just agree with each other on general topics. I have friends who fight definitely too much with their partners and they even know it but are too scared of the dreaded 'single' life to do anything. Then I have friends who argue a moderate amount but are okay with it.
Then I have my shining gold example of a relationship or my best friend and her man, rarely ever fight except back in the first few months of the relationship when they were learning to understand each other. The biggest issues they ever face are discussions about their future ideas and atm they're working long-distance for a few months. THAT's the kind of relationship I envy.
Discussions not arguments =D0 -
Together 12 years, married 10 years tomorrow.
We disagree, argue and get angry at times, but I wouldn't say we "fight." We both make a point to get little things out in the open so they don't become fights.0 -
My ex husband and I never fought, but it was because we didn't communicate....
We are now divorced.
My current boyfriend and I have had some pretty intense fights/arguments, and we worked through them. We have a much stronger relationship because of it.
People who don't fight are ignoring issues and not dealing with them.
i couldnt agree more... this is exactly right!!!!!0 -
Yeah me and my boyfriend are one of those couples who don't fight. We've even discussed that and whether it's weird, but essentially it's because we don't fight with ANYONE in general. It's not that we don't get irritated/frustrated with each other, but we both know (and prefer) to let the other person grumble, get moody and then get over it. It's just who we are as people.
We both know when we're being unreasonable, and he in particular is amazing about stewing, realising he's done wrong and apologising. I'm a bit more stubborn, don't like to be wrong, but I would rather let it out on my own and then get over it than have an argument. And it works for us - when we disagree we talk about it for sure, but it's never gotten to the stage of an argument, and somehow neither of us hold resentment, as I don't think we've had a disagreement about something that's come up a second time.
But I don't think I've had more than one real face-to-face argument in my entire life with anyone, (not including with my parents, siblings when I was a kid and moody teenager). I wouldn't say I'm passive - on the contrary I'm very passionate about certain things - but I don't sweat the small stuff, and I don't lose my temper easily.
I'm incredibly lucky in my relationship, really going strong after a year - so it *is* possible to have relationships that don't fight. But I do think that some couples avoid it because they are scared to lose the other, and so issues DO build up and create longer-term problems.0 -
i think if people dont argue or disagree to an extent dont challenge each other.....to not argue to me would be unhealthy
This is true. My husband and I went to marriage counselor because we thought we shouldn't fight. The counselor laughed and said the couples that should be in his office are the ones that don't fight or argue.
Arguing is a great form of communication.0 -
I think its that Relate group that said that couples who fights often stay together longer than ones that do.I think its down to personality type, if you are not fighting it may be your'e not as intimate/not communicating as well asyou might think.
Its not so much the fight, its HOW the fight is done - a couple might say they don't fight but that doesn't mean they don't have conflicts but they may have more positive ways of resolving said conflicts. The term fighting implicates a resistance to bend/a resistance to compromise which is never good for any kind of relationship.,
And i guess if the same conflict keeps coming up without there being a solution that can be a warning sign?0 -
We certainly have the occasional difference of opinion, but rarely a full blown argument.
We live by house rules - 1, The wife is always right 2. When hubby thinks he's right, see rule 1!!
Having said that, we do have friends who have been married for almost 40 years and have NEVER had an argument - they just plod on every day LOL Absolutely amazing!0 -
I think some people thrive on the drama and excitement of fighting.
Life has given me enough drama without having to turn against my husband.
If we're going to fight, it's going to be together and against a common enemy. 0 -
We live by house rules - 1, The wife is always right 2. When hubby thinks he's right, see rule 1!!
Having said that, we do have friends who have been married for almost 40 years and have NEVER had an argument - they just plod on every day LOL Absolutely amazing!
hahahaha love it!
Also, awww a very nice post I think part of why my hubby and I get along so well is because we know each other inside out. I think that is because we spent quite a long time in an ultra long distance relationship (me in Australia and him in the UK, we had both just graduated and one of us would have had to give up our career to be closer sooner). People would comment that we must not be close to be able to be apart like that but I beg to differ. The only option for making things work and spending time together was talking, talking and more talking! No sitting in front of the tv together, no making out, no going out just hours and hours of conversation every single day. Everybody also always said that once we moved in together all hell would break loose since we had never lived together but I think the strong communication that we had prior to living together was what made moving in an absolute breeze! 0
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